If They Leave, Will They Come Back?
“Hey, Cassarah, it’s time to wake up,” Becka said, shaking my shoulder. “Alto and Jade are almost ready to leave.”
Groaning, I rubbed my face with both hands, trying to rationalize what happened in my dream.
Had Miranda really come to talk to me? It must just be all the stress I’m under—there’s no way that could’ve really happened.
Dropping my hands, I stared up at the ceiling, letting my body readjust to being back in my own skin.
This feeling only happened when I harmonized with Vasin, giving me yet another sign it might not have been a dream.
“Alto wanted to have a look at your leg before she left. Can I let her in?” Becka asked from where she sat on the edge of my bed.
“It would be easier for her to look at it before I get dressed, so please let her in,” I answered as I sat up and tossed the blankets back.
I felt like I did on the first day of training—my body ached, my head was foggy, and it felt like I hadn’t slept longer than a few minutes. It would seem riding on the back of a dragon during a battle was rough on the body.
“Goodness, Your Majesty, are you well?” Alto inquired as she kneeled before me with a basket of supplies.
“Last night, Vasin and I had a misunderstanding with my newest guardian that led to a scuffle between the dragons. I’m just a little sore and could do with a little more sleep but nothing else to worry about,” I answered, waving off her concern.
The last thing I needed was for the guys to go after Zan when they found out what happened last night. I prayed that Jade kept his mouth shut and didn’t tell them I almost died. They smothered me enough as it was.
“I think I can help with some of that.” Alto rustled around in her basket and handed Becka a few satchels of herbs.
“Boil this in hot water until it turns a rich brown color, then add in a pinch or two of this to help with the pain. She can have more for the pain if she needs it later in the afternoon, but no more than three doses in a day.”
Becka nodded and headed off to do just as she was instructed. Alto lifted my leg and set it in her lap, removing the bandage. I was pleased it didn’t hurt nearly as much as it had before.
“It’s healing nicely, rather quickly as well, which is lucky for you.
I think giving it a few more days of no walking on it should do the trick.
Once I take the stitches out, you should be able to return to life as normal, but I want you to take it easy until then.
Dayson told me you popped a few stitches the other day.
Things like that will slow everything down,” Alto chided as she wrapped it up in a clean bandage.
“Relying on others isn’t my strong suit. I’ve never really had someone other than Becka to look after me. Even then, she was limited to what she could do,” I admitted.
Alto’s gaze flicked up to meet mine for a moment before she held onto my foot, running her thumbs down my arch. “Can I assume that these scars on the bottom of your feet are from before you left home?”
“There aren’t many places on a woman’s body where you can whip without fear of the scaring being seen… it would lower my chances of finding an advantageous marriage,” I whispered.
Alto cursed under her breath as she released my foot and stood. “Well, good riddance to that part of your life. While Becka is off getting that brewed, would you allow me to assist you in getting ready?”
“I can manage on my own. Becka is the only person I trust to help me,” I answered. When I saw the scowl on Alto’s face, I hurried to explain, “It’s just I hate to feel that vulnerable in front of someone I don’t know very well. I was never intimately abused or anything.”
“Well, that’s a relief, and I can understand not wanting to bare it all in front of people you don’t feel safe with.”
“Please, I mean no offense,” I said, reaching out to touch her arm, needing her to understand.
Alto’s face softened as she looked down at me.
“Dear child, I’m not upset with you. If you don’t want to undress in front of someone or have them touch you, then that is your choice.
It should have always been your choice. The fact you question that makes me sad.
” Taking a deep breath, she sat next to me on the bed.
“I know you are not anywhere near this point, but I have to ask… do you understand what happens between a man and a woman when they sleep together?”
My cheeks heated at her question, and I nodded, looking down at my hands. “I’ve been taught anatomy and been made aware of the purpose of a woman’s cycle.”
“That’s a relief your mother didn’t leave you totally ignorant,” Alto muttered.
“Helena talked to me about what she had you using while you were training and that it’s been a few days since you’ve taken the medicine.
I brought up these tinctures for you. Take one a week, and it will keep you from falling pregnant.
I know you are not intimate with anyone, but I want to be sure you are prepared for when it does happen.
Life never goes according to plan, and this is one thing we can avoid for now until you decide you’re ready to be a mother. ”
“Thank you. I think this might be what my mother had me taking,” I shared and smiled at her, amazed by her understanding of everything.
Patting my leg, she stood up and headed for the door. “Don’t be too long. Jade and I need to head out so we make good time getting to Royal City.”
The moment the door was closed, I stood up and hobbled around, getting ready for the day. As I moved, it helped to ease some of the soreness in my body. Washed and dressed, I waited at the table when Becka returned with a steaming mug and Dayson on her heels.
Before Becka could even hand me the mug, Dayson was on his knees before me, head bowed in subjection. “Forgive me, My Queen. I acted without thought yesterday, and I deserved the scolding you gave me.”
“Dayson, what are you talking about?” I asked, utterly confused at what was happening.
Becka just smirked at me, handed over the mug before she gave me a wink, and left the room.
“It was wrong of me to put my hands on you when you hadn’t given me permission, let alone draw a weapon to use on your body,” Dayson explained.
“Are you talking about when you tried to cut my pants to check my leg?” I questioned. He nodded but still refused to look at me. “That wasn’t why I was upset, Dayson. Please look at me. I’m not mad at you.”
Dayson lifted his warm brown eyes to me, and I couldn’t help but reach out to cup his cheek. “I should be the one to apologize for snapping at you like that. It was wrong of me to take out my frustration on you and the others when all you were trying to do was look after me.”
“It still doesn’t change the fact I acted without thinking,” Dayson countered, pulling away from my touch. “I’m far too quick at making snap judgments. My anger gets the better of me, and I always choose violence and aggression to fix my problems. You deserve more from me than that.”
I couldn’t help but grin at this beast of a man telling me he needed to improve himself.
It was such a contradiction to his outward appearance.
“What if you were picked because you are that way? Everything you described is the complete opposite of who I am. Typically, I would rather run from conflict, and you step right into its path. Knowing I have someone like you at my back helps me be more confident, so please don’t be so quick to change yourself.
Let’s give it time in these new roles before we decide we’re failing. ”
Dayson gave me a searching look before a smile broke out on his face.
“I’ve got to stop assuming what you’re going to think or say.
I get it wrong every time. I never guessed royalty could be so reasonable and logical in their decisions.
” He stood and reached out a hand to me.
“Now that we’ve gotten that figured out, Jade’s waiting to leave until you see him off. Apparently, you promised.”
“I doubt that’s the reason he’s waiting.” I laughed as Dayson swung me up on his back like you would a child.
I wrapped my arms and legs around his body, making sure not to choke him.
“Yeah, I wouldn’t be too sure about that. It seems you’ve gotten under that man’s skin, and that is not a simple matter.”
“It’s only been four days that I’ve known him. He can’t be all that enamored with me. Sure, we’ve gone through some intense experiences, but we hardly know each other,” I said, brushing off his comment.
Dayson shook his head as he glanced back at me.
“Haven’t you ever heard about the bond you make with someone you go into battle with?
You and Jade started your friendship by saving the crown prince from the Lost King’s army.
Now you have him as a guardian, he was the one you called when you needed help last night.
I’d say that is the start of a rather deep relationship, whatever it might be. ”
I thought that over, remembering the journals I’ve read about generals and other men in the military and the camaraderie they always speak about—the trust they have in their troops and all the talk about how they would die for each other, leaving no man behind.
“But if you follow that logic, it won’t be long until I build that kind of bond along with all the guardians.”
“Exactly.”
“Do you really think it’s possible to have that sort of trust last after the battle is over, though?
What if it’s just heightened emotions when you think you might not survive?
Once the battles are over, life goes back to normal, and everyone goes back to their homes, do they still feel the same way about each other? ”
I didn’t know where I was going with this conversation or what answer I expected.
The only thing I could think of that was causing me to question all this was remembering what Miranda had said—not everything is as it seems. Could she have been talking about the people around me currently or when Miranda was alive?
Is it possible my powers picked wrong, and one of my guardians isn’t looking out for my best interests?
“Then it’s a good thing none of us are returning home after this battle is over. You marked us, so you’re stuck with us. Although I can’t speak for the others, I still think I would choose to stay with you, even if that wasn’t the case.”
That comment surprised me. “Why?”
“Simple. I believe in you and your vision for our people. Who wouldn’t want to stand behind a queen such as yourself?”
“Now you’re the one who’s going all logical on me.” I laughed.
When we exited the tunnel, the morning sun was low, still hidden behind the mountains, casting a bright pink glow about the sky.
Tahir was there saddled and ready to go with Jade at his head, scratching behind his jaw.
None of the other guardians were out here with us, just Alto who was packing up the last of her things into baskets that Jade would attach to the saddle.
Dayson put me down a few steps from Jade and walked over to help Alto secure the basket, giving us a moment.
“How are you feeling?” Jade asked as he walked over to me.
“Tired and sore but in better spirits. Vasin and I are going out to meet with the other dragon riders later today,” I shared. I studied him in a slightly different light after talking with Dayson.
Jade reached out and took my hand, drawing my gaze to his. “Please promise me you won’t go alone. I know you don’t trust him but take Zan. That way, you can bring along two others.”
“I’ll have to see after I talk to him again. I know he isn’t trying to kill me, but I can’t promise that,” I admitted, dropping my gaze.
Jade let go of my hand to wrap his hand around my face, forcing me to look at him.
“Cassarah, I won’t be here to help you if you need me.
I must know you’ll be safe, or I’m not leaving, so it’s up to you.
Either take the new guy so you can have three men at your back, or I’ll be going with you and taking Alto another day. ”
“You would ignore an order from your queen?” I demanded, irritated he was pressing the issue.
Pressing his forehead to mine, he whispered, “To keep you safe… without question.”
The concern I heard in his voice left me with no other choice. “Okay, I’ll take him with me, but if I end up in trouble because of it, I’m blaming you.”
His answer was to kiss me full on the mouth, causing my body to lock up at the shock of it.
Before I could do anything else, he stepped away from me and climbed up on Tahir before he assisted Alto behind him.
He didn’t look back at me once as he flew out into the sunrise to hopefully bring back the most important answer to our call for help.