22. Hammer
HAMMER
October
I could tell Cujo had returned back to his shell.
His eyes were darker, like he was losing sleep again.
While Merci and I were doing our thing in secret, Cujo hadn’t talked to Ariel since everything went down.
When I tried to talk to him about it, he told me he was cool.
That they were just friends. That she had every right to not hear him out.
Regardless of what he said, I could tell it fucked with him that she was able to think the worst of him.
I battled with if I wanted to let things be how they were or try to get him to reach out to her.
My decision probably would have been easier to make if I knew Ariel better.
We’d taken Mama out to eat so she wouldn’t have to worry about cooking.
She’d started picking up new hobbies lately, and apparently, she was so busy enjoying life that she didn’t have time to take care of her sons anymore.
We were so used to coming over and there being a fresh meal or at least leftovers that we thought something was wrong with her when we first pulled up.
I thought it was great that she was out and enjoying her life, though.
After we said our goodbyes to her, Cujo and I headed out.
I was going home to my baby, and I couldn’t wait.
It had been inconvenient laying low, because I couldn’t go to her job or house, but the chance to be with her was worth it.
It also added a level of spice because, when we got tired of being cooped up in my house, we went to hotels or skipped town for a quick trip when our schedules allowed.
Before Cujo made it to his car, I asked, “You still ain’t talked to Ariel?”
He frowned and shook his head. “Nah. After she ignored my calls that night, I didn’t try again.”
“You really willing to let it go that easily?”
With a shrug, he opened his door. “Really ain’t up to me, young one. I ain’t gon’ beg her to be my friend, and I for damn sure ain’t gon’ beg her to hear me out.”
“What if she’s not waiting for you to beg? What if she’s just waiting for you to put forth the effort?”
Cujo sighed. “What if? Either way, you know how I am when it comes down to feelings and emotions and shit. It’s been over a month. If she wanted to talk to me, she could have reached out, and I would have tried my hardest to convince her of my intentions. I ain’t gon’ chase her, though.”
My head shook. “Aight, Jojo. I feel like you’re using this as an excuse to cut her and your feelings for her off, but do yo’ thang, big brother.”
He stared at me with squinted eyes and his top lip curled before he mumbled, “Fuck you, nigga,” and I couldn’t help but laugh, because he knew I was right.
“Call that girl.”
“Aight, aight,” he agreed before getting in his car.
I cruised home, listening to music and thinking about how differently life had changed for us all in a short amount of time.
My mama had a freedom I’d never seen her walk in, in my whole life.
My brother was acting like the Grinch but had finally let a woman into his heart—whether he wanted to or not.
And I was madly in love with a woman the world would say I had no business being with.
When I walked into my home and didn’t smell food, it was like déjà vu.
Even though I’d already eaten, I expected Merci to have at least cooked something for herself.
I took the stairs by two in search of my baby, and I found her curled up in bed in a fetal position.
Concern filled me immediately as I walked over to her.
Kneeling by the trash can on the side of the bed, I ran my fingers over her braids as I looked her face over intently.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
“I don’t feel good,” she whined.
“What’s hurting you?”
“My stomach. I threw up.” Her face twisted in disgust, and I had to hold back my laugh. Merci hated being sick in any way, but she especially hated throwing up. “I had chills too, and I’m weak. I think I ate something bad.”
“What all have you had to eat today?”
“Just that smoothie and Waffle House for breakfast. After that I got sick, and I haven’t tried to eat again.”
“Hmm.” I used the back of my hand to check her temperature, and she didn’t have a fever. “Have you taken anything?”
“Just some ginger to see if it would settle my stomach.”
“And it worked?”
“For the most part. I haven’t gagged in a while, so I guess so. I probably won’t know until I try to eat again, but I don’t want to.”
“I understand, but you need to put something on your stomach so you won’t feel as weak. Some ginger ale and maybe toast, rice, or apple sauce. Crackers?”
Her head shook at everything I said, so I told her to give me a minute, and I’d get in bed with her. I showered as quickly as I could, then cuddled up behind her. As I rubbed her stomach, she told me to tell her about my day.
“Why you ain’t call me and tell me you weren’t feeling good? I would’ve come home earlier,” I said instead.
“I’m sure I just ate something bad. I just don’t know what.”
“Your stomach really ain’t sensitive like that, though, Ms. Merci. I don’t think it’s something you ate.”
“What do you think it is? It’s not cold enough outside for me to be getting the flu.”
I thought about the options and the fact that I’d been fucking her raw for months now. I couldn’t stop myself from grinning just at the possibility of her being pregnant. My caressing of her stomach stopped, and I held it as I said, “You could be pregnant.”
Her body froze before she sat up and looked down at me. She lifted the comforter and covered herself as if I hadn’t seen her body a million times before.
“The fuck?”
Laughing, I sat up and leaned against the headboard next to her.
“Merci—”
“How can you say that? That’s nothing to play about, Hammer. I can’t be pregnant.”
“You can, actually,” I said, licking my lips and trying to hide my smile. “I’ve never used a condom, sweetheart. When was your last period?” Confusion covered her face as she looked toward the ceiling. “This month? Last month? If you have to think that hard, it’s clearly been a while.”
“Oh my God,” she said, voice muffled as her hands covered her face.
“It’s been so much going on I really haven’t paid attention.
I think my last period was in August? Or was that September?
So technically, it’s just late this month.
That happens. I mean… that doesn’t mean…
” Her eyes blinked rapidly as she processed the possibility of her being pregnant.
While she did, I pulled out my phone and did a grocery order. I put three different brands of pregnancy tests, ginger chews, crackers and bananas, and ginger ale in the cart before checking out.
“My client today was going to be blackmailed for millions,” I said, trying to get her mind off things.
Her eyes softened as she smiled and took my hand into hers.
“She wanted to pay, but I wouldn’t agree until I talked to the guy.
We found out that he’d drugged her before recording them having sex.
I got him to sign an NDA and agree to never mention their night together before beating his ass.
I wanted her to press charges against him, but she didn’t want anyone to know about their night together. ”
“I know you can’t tell me who she is, but she must be someone famous.”
“I’ma give you what I can,” I said, making her giggle.
“She’s famous, but it’s because of her athlete husband.
He made her sign a prenup, so she didn’t want him to know that she cheated.
I tried to explain to her that, technically, it wasn’t her fault, because she was drugged, but she said she didn’t want to risk it, because she’d cheated before, and she has a history of drug use at parties.
“Because she agreed to go to the party with him, she didn’t want to risk her husband not caring that she was drugged just because she knowingly went out with another man.
It was no secret to the man that ecstasy made her…
sexually free. They ran in the same circles.
So yeah. It was a set up, but she feels shame because she wasn’t supposed to be there to begin with. ”
“Damn. That’s fucked up. I mean, I’m happy it worked out and that you beat his ass, but I would have wanted him to go to jail too.
Whether she was supposed to be there or not, she didn’t agree to getting the ecstasy, so she was violated twice.
Hate that for her, but if she’s satisfied, that’s all that matters. ”
“Yeah. Sometimes a win doesn’t come the way you expect it to. She’s not being blackmailed, and he’s in the hospital, so that will have to do.”
“Can you ever fight without putting somebody in the hospital?”
Shrugging, I pulled her into my side. “We’ll probably never find out.”
We continued to talk, but she jumped when the doorbell rang.
I told her who it was and that she needed to get ready to pee on a few sticks.
Of course, she couldn’t because she hadn’t eaten or drank anything since this morning, so we had to wait until she drank the ginger ale and had to use the bathroom.
When she finally had to pee, she got out of bed and said, “Come with me.” Laughing, I nodded and went into the bathroom with her. “Talk to me. What else happened today?”
“Well, me and Cujo took Ma to dinner,” I said as she finally started to pee. “I talked to him about Ariel.”
“She misses him, but she doesn’t trust him. Plus, she doesn’t want to go against Daddy. Doesn’t help that we’re a secret. I feel like if she knew I was with you, she’d definitely reach out to him.”
“Yeah, I told him to call her. Think she’ll answer?”
Merci sighed as she stood and pulled her panties up under her gown.
“Hmm, I don’t know. The old Ariel would answer.
I don’t know about her now. She’s unwilling to date after her divorce because she doesn’t want to be hurt by a man again.
If she feels like Cujo had an ulterior motive, she might not want to let him in. ”
“Damn. I hate that. For both of them. Hopefully, when the truth comes out about us, she’ll feel safe enough to talk to him again.”
“I think she will.”
After she washed her hands, we went and got back in bed.
“If you’re pregnant, will you be upset?”
“No,” she said softly with a smile. “I knew there was a chance this would happen. I think I just didn’t think it would happen this soon. Will you be upset?”
“That the woman I love is having my baby love? Absolutely not.” She snuggled against me and tossed her leg around me while I held her close.
“This baby was conceived in so much love. It might have happened fast, but I’m prepared.
I’m going to take care of both of you, and you’ll never want for anything in your life. ”
“If I am pregnant, there is one thing I want.”
“What’s that?”
“You’ll have to talk to my daddy sooner than later, Mr. Freeman.”
“I’m with that. I’ve been waiting for you.”
Merci released a shaky breath and rubbed the back of my head. “I’ve been trying to let as much time pass as possible. If I’m pregnant, I’m not hiding it. Well, not from them. I want to get a test done by my gynecologist before we tell them, but yeah. I can’t keep this from them too.”
“If you set the meeting up, I’ll be there, Ms. Merci. Whenever. Wherever.”
Silence found us until the alarm went off on my phone. When I got out of bed to go look at the test, she clawed at my arm.
“Hammer,” she whispered as if we weren’t the only two people in the room. “Are we really ready to be someone’s parents?”
Chuckling, I leaned down and kissed her lips. “If we’re not, we gon’ have to get ready.”
Nodding, Merci released my arm. I went into the bathroom and looked at all three tests.
Clutching my chest, my eyes watered. Even with me cumming in her good-ass pussy every chance I could get, I didn’t think she’d get pregnant.
That sounded silly as hell, but that was the truth.
I guess I didn’t think about her getting pregnant because it wouldn’t have changed anything for me.
It wouldn’t have changed my love for her.
It wouldn’t have changed my commitment to her.
It certainly wasn’t going to stop me going in her raw.
If anything, her being pregnant was an added bonus to me finally finding the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with.
“What does it say?” she asked, leaning against the doorframe.
After wiping away a quickly fallen tear, I looked at her with a smile. “Congratulations, mama. We’re having a baby.”
Gasping, Merci covered her mouth as her eyes watered immediately. She made her way toward me, and I picked her up and gently spun her around as she giggled.
“We’re having a baby?” she repeated as tears fell from my eyes.
“We’re having a baby,” I repeated, trying unsuccessfully to swallow back my emotions.
While this baby wasn’t going to erase my childhood, it would be my chance to finally be a part of a normal, loving, happy, healthy family. I’d be the father I never had, and I’d make sure my child never questioned my love.