21. Merci
MERCI
Even with my father basically keeping me prisoner in his home, I still wasn’t talking to him.
A week had passed, and I didn’t talk to anyone who knocked on my door.
While I didn’t blame either of my parents for what happened, I was heartbroken, and I wanted my man.
I hated that because of something that happened almost thirty years ago, we couldn’t be together.
Before I met Hammer, I thought it was sweet that my daddy had laid bodies down to protect my mother.
Now, I was kind of jealous and resented them because they had each other, and because of their past, I couldn’t have Hammer.
I knew that wasn’t fair to them, so I kept my distance from everyone to avoid taking my hurt out on them as anger.
I also knew that eventually we’d get back to our normal relationship, but until that happened, I just wanted to be left alone.
It appeared my luck had run out because today, Daddy knocked and told me that he wanted to talk to me and Ariel. Instead of telling him that I wasn’t ready to talk, I agreed. I met them outside and pulled my legs up under me on the couch, waiting to hear what he had to say.
“Hey,” he spoke softly with a warm smile.
“Hey, Daddy,” I muttered.
“You still mad at me?”
Sighing, I shook my head as my eyes rolled. “No. I know you’re only doing what’s best for us. That doesn’t mean I have to like it. And it hurts.”
“I can accept and respect that, my baby. It hurts me to know that my actions have hurt you. I really am sorry.”
My eyes watered, but I clenched my jaw to avoid releasing any tears.
“You don’t have to apologize. It’s not like you knew Hammer and I would meet and fall in love one day.
Because regardless of what y’all say, we are in love.
I understand why you’d think he wants revenge, but I know him, and I know that’s simply not true. ”
“Okay,” he replied softer than I expected.
“If you believe that, I’m not going to argue with you.
As your father, it’s my job to protect you.
I appreciate you staying here for the past week.
New locks are on your doors, along with a new security system.
I know you don’t want me to put guards on you, and I will honor that under one condition. ”
“What’s that?” I asked, looking over at Ariel.
“You two have to continue to not see Cujo or Hammer. You will have to let us track your locations at all times on your phones and cars. Once I believe enough time has passed for me to be able to sit down with them, if we can commit to peace, you can return to living your lives normally. If I feel like they can’t be trusted… ”
“I know you don’t believe me, Daddy, but they really don’t mean us any harm. Tell him, Ariel.”
She avoided my eyes and shook her head. “I don’t know, Merci. Knowing he killed their father makes things different. How can you be so sure?”
Scoffing, I sat up in my seat. “They had months to do something to us if they wanted to. The first night we met, they could have kidnapped us and made Daddy come. Hammer has had ample opportunities to put a gun to my head and drag me here. They aren’t putting together some grand scheme.
He genuinely doesn’t want to hurt you, Daddy.
Why is that so hard for you to believe?”
“I just can’t see any man being okay with what I did, Merci. I’m sorry.”
“If you took the time to get to know him, you’d understand why.
” Pausing, I considered if I wanted to tell him about the abuse.
Hell, at this point, I knew there was a chance he’d say Hammer was lying to me.
Still, I decided to be honest. “Gatlin abused them. All three of them. It scarred them for life. Figuratively and literally. Hammer’s back is covered with scars.
He almost killed him. Hammer lost so much blood that day he needed a transfusion.
I understand it seems impossible to believe he doesn’t want to avenge his father’s death, but Gatlin wasn’t shit.
You actually did them a favor when you killed him.
You freed them. If you gave him a chance, he’d tell you that. ”
Daddy considered my words before saying, “I hear you, and I’m sorry to hear that.
I want to say that changes things, but because Hammer knew the truth and didn’t come to me from the beginning, I can’t trust him.
I can’t trust his intentions. Now, if you agree to my terms, you can go back home today. Otherwise, you’ll have to stay here.”
“Fine,” I agreed quickly, wanting to get the hell out this house.
“I know you’re upset with me, my baby, but you need to be upset with your man.
Had he come to me like a man before he pursued you, this could have been avoided.
Y’all know I don’t play about my family.
I’ll kill that entire bloodline before I let either of them hurt you.
Do not go against me for them. If you really love him like you say you do, stay the fuck away from him. ”
He stood and kissed my temple before walking away.
“I’m sorry, sis,” Ariel almost whispered. “I know you really care about him, but I’m just not sure.”
“Whatever, Ariel,” I said, defeated. “You know Cujo would never hurt you. I’m outta here.”
I made my way to my room and packed as quickly as I could.
Once I’d shared my location with him and my brothers, he told me the tracker was already on my car, and I left.
For the first time in a week, it felt like I could breathe again the moment I stepped foot into my own home.
But that breath came out shaky, and before I knew it, I started to sob.
It was risky, and I knew my daddy would have a fit if he found out, but I had to talk to Hammer.
I kept telling them he wouldn’t bring me or anyone in my family harm, but a part of me was still confused.
I didn’t know if I was a woman blinded by love or if I really knew my man.
I needed Hammer to look me in my eyes and tell me the truth.
I left my phone and car at my office and took an Uber to his place.
Surprisingly, he wasn’t working today, and that led me to believe it was because he was focusing more on crisis management, which made me happy.
The last time we talked about it, Hammer said he was considering giving other attorneys his clients on retainer, and I hoped that was what he’d done during our time apart.
I didn’t think anything would top the relief that covered Hammer’s face at the sight of me when he opened the door, but when he picked me up and pulled me into a bear hug, that did it. The low growl he released as he pressed me against the wall tickled me as my eyes watered.
“I missed the fuck outta you, Ms. Merci,” he muttered against my neck before kissing it.
“I missed you too, Mr. Freeman.”
Cupping his cheeks, I rested my forehead against his before kissing his lips. What was supposed to be a quick, sweet peck turned deep, slow, nasty, and long.
“We gotta stop before this goes too far,” he said against my lips before kissing me again and placing me on my feet.
Hammer took my hand into his and led me to his living room, where we sat so close our knees touched.
“I’m sorry,” were the first words out of his mouth. “I should’ve told you. I shouldn’t have even pursued you until after I sat down with your pops.”
Chuckling, I bobbed my head as he gently squeezed my hand. “He said the same thing. He’s suspicious and untrusting, and us dating for as long as we did only compounded the issue.”
“That’s on me. I take full responsibility for that.”
“I’m just… confused, bae. I know in my heart that you don’t mean him or my family any harm, but in my mind… I don’t know. Am I wrong, and they see the truth?”
Hammer’s smile was soft as he lifted my hand and kissed it. “I told you my truth. What happened between our fathers ain’t got shit to do with us. You have nothing to be confused about. I ain’t tryna do nothing but love you and be loved by you.”
“I believe that. I guess I just… If the roles were reversed, I could never be with you. All I’d ever think about was what your father did to mine, and I know that sounds horrible to punish a person for something they didn’t do, but still.”
“Well, your family and upbringing was different from mine. It would be completely understandable if the roles were reversed because your father is nothing like mine.” Hammer paused. “I’ma tell you something because I trust you, and I want you to know that you can trust me.”
“Okay.”
“A while ago, I got my revenge. I killed Rey.” My hand slipped out of his, from shock more than anything.
“It didn’t make me feel peace or happiness or like I’d gotten even.
I did it because I had the chance, and I felt like I had to be loyal to my father.
Truthfully, I never loved, liked, or respected my father.
He turned me and my brother into monsters, and he was one too.
If your father hadn’t killed him when he did, someone else was going to.
And I can’t even sit here and say it wouldn’t have been me or my brother.
The abuse was that damn bad. I know it’s hard to accept that, but if you had any idea what that man put us through, you would. ”
“And you don’t think that will change when you’re in the same room as my daddy?”
“Nah. I considered that a lot right after we met. I don’t feel like I’ll see him and want blood. Shit, I might feel gratitude.”
I couldn’t resist pulling him into my arms, and Hammer set me on his lap.
“I believe you. Even if they don’t, I do.”
“Guess it doesn’t matter now. I’m assuming they don’t want you to have anything to do with me, and I can respect that.”
“You may be able to respect it, but I can’t accept it.”
His head shook adamantly. “I would never make you go against your people to be with me, sweetheart. I want you. I love you. I meant that shit. But if they aren’t willing to accept us, we won’t work.
I know how important family is to you, and I know what it feels like for that relationship to be strained. I wouldn’t dare do that to you.”
My chin trembled as I fought back my tears. “Then you need to fix this because you can’t make me fall in love with you and then just leave me. That’s unacceptable.”
Hammer’s laugh was quiet as he kissed my forehead.
“I would do anything to fix this, Merci. If there was something I could say or do to convince your father of my intentions, I would. And there’s no doubt in my mind that if he accepted me, your brothers would fall in line. It would probably take some time, but I’d be willing to try if they were.”
“You would?” I asked softly.
“For you? Absolutely.”
“Well… Daddy did say he was willing to sit down with y’all eventually, but that was more so to commit to peace, not for us to be together. Maybe if we kept our relationship between us until then—”
“Merci, we’re in this position now because I kept that secret. I don’t want us to have another one.”
“I don’t care. I want you. I miss you. I’m not giving you up because they don’t believe you. So we can do this in secret and keep it to ourselves until they are ready to sit down and talk, or we can do it publicly now and let this turn into something bigger than it is. It’s your choice.”
“You know I’m not going to war with your people, sweetheart. Even if I won, I’d lose you.”
My smile spread as I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I know. So what’s your choice?”
His head shook before he cursed under his breath.
“We can keep this between us for now, but I ain’t doing it for more than a month, Merci.
I’m a grown-ass man, and I ain’t finna hide this knowing it will make things worse for you and your family.
I let them be on that rah-rah shit that night, but they won’t be able to disrespect me again.
Do you understand the risk you’re taking? Are you sure I’m worth that?”
“Yes. I know it will work in the end. I just need a little time so they can calm down, and then y’all can talk. It’ll be fine then. Maybe not perfect, but they’ll accept you with time. Am I worth the risk to you?”
“You’re worth the risk and so much more.”
Knowing that he killed Rey was a blow. He was close to both of my parents and like a grandfather to me. If I was going to be with Hammer, I’d have to make sure my daddy never found out.
Hammer’s declaration led to our lips connecting, and shortly after, our centers.
We came immediately, simultaneously, and if I needed any confirmation that Hammer was my other half, that was it.
I didn’t move until we both stopped cumming, and when I did, he moaned, “I missed you and this good-ass pussy. Fuck.”
I couldn’t say anything.
As always, having him inside of me left me speechless.
I was glad he was controlling my movements because I was so weak from the pleasure and trembling so bad I could barely focus.
Hammer kissed all over my face, bit my neck, nibbled my nipples, squeezed and caressed and smacked my ass.
It was the most overwhelming, euphoric feeling I’d ever had.
Tears slipped down my cheeks, and he kissed them away before reminding me of how much he loved me.
It was raw.
And it was passionate.
And it was real.
And I was determined to make sure no one took him away from me.