Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
Max
Narrator: Were you expecting such a turn of events? For Storee and Max to join together in cahoots? It only feels right—her random spirit and his insanity. Seems like a match made in heaven to me. Let’s just hope that Cole doesn’t find out.
Or anyone else for that matter, because if there is one thing we know for certain about a small town? News spreads fast.
“What are you wearing?” Storee asks as I take a seat across from her in Warm Your Spirits.
I glance down at myself. “I wasn’t sure if I needed to be incognito.”
“You’re a six-foot-four mammoth of a man wearing a ski mask and sunglasses. You’re anything but incognito at the moment.”
“You think people recognize me?”
“You’re wearing an Evergreen Farm crewneck sweatshirt, so yes, I’m pretty sure anyone would recognize you.”
“Shit,” I mutter as I remove the glasses and the ski mask. Storee winces when she catches sight of me without my disguise.
“God, the bruising is all yellow and gross now on your face. And your hair looks terrible.”
“Wow, thanks. Good morning to you too.” I take my reindeer hat out of my back pocket and I fix it on my head. “How’s that?”
“Better.” She examines me. “The scruff on your face is thicker.”
“Because it’s seven in the morning and I didn’t get much sleep last night. The wheels have been spinning, Storee.”
“Really? I slept great last night.” She leans in. “Cole did this thing with his tongue—”
I hold my hand out, stopping her. “I will not sit here and listen to you talk about your sex life with my best friend. It’s bad enough I know what you did in my barn with a candy cane. I refuse to hear about tongue action.”
“Are you sure? Might be beneficial for you.”
“Trust me, I know exactly what to do with my tongue.”
“When was the last time you used your tongue in that way?”
“Uh, don’t you think that’s a little private?
” I ask as Tanya, the blessed woman, sets down my coffee.
Guess she didn’t need me to take off the mask to know who I was.
If she asks why I was wearing it, I’ll tell her wind chill was hurting my face this morning.
She’ll buy it. “Thank you,” I say to her. She nods and walks away.
“When have you ever been private?” Storee asks. “A few weeks ago, you were telling me about the boner you woke up with.”
“Because it was so hard, and I was sleeping on my stomach. It practically jackknifed me off the bed. Like a spring letting loose from its coil.”
“That right there. That is why Cole is not helping you. You say such ridiculous things.”
“It’s true,” I whisper. “That boner levitated me.”
“I can’t.” She tosses her hands up and starts to move out of her booth, but I stop her.
“Fine. It didn’t levitate me, but it did in my dream.”
She rolls her eyes and then sets her arms on the table.
“Listen up. We’re doing this the right way, okay?
And we won’t be ridiculous and hysterical and overthink and embellish.
We have a job to do, and it’s to save the farm.
And the way we’re doing that is by wooing Betty.
Now, I was able to score her information from Martha, who asked for it from Dwight. I asked her to meet me here.”
“What? Now?” I ask, looking over my back. “I’m not ready. I’m not prepped. I don’t know what to say or do. This is an ambush.”
“Shhhhhh,” Storee says, tamping down my energy with a motion of her hand. “She won’t be here for another half hour. I told her I wanted to meet up with her since she’s new in town, and see if she needed a friend.”
“Ooo, good one.”
“Thank you.” Storee smiles. “I met her at the farm and already put the offer out there, so this shouldn’t come as a surprise. I’ll get intel from her, and we can use that for the wooing.”
“Wow, that’s . . . that’s really smart.”
“And that’s why you’re working with me and not my grumpy husband.”
“You’re right about that.” I take a sip of my coffee, feeling the caffeine spike through my veins.
“But I want you here when she arrives. We’ll make it seem like you just ran into me. You’ll pick up Flo and bounce her around a bit before shooting off for a day on the farm. We want to make you seem approachable, loving, a gentleman.”
“Everything that I already am.” I smirk at her, causing her to roll her eyes.
“But you can’t be your outlandish self, okay? Reel that shit in.”
“I’m not outlandish.”
She levels with me, her brow picking up. “Minutes ago, you told me your boner levitated you off your mattress.”
“That’s not outlandish. That’s just providing context.”
“You know what I mean, Atlas. You have to be normal.”
I let out a long breath. “I’m normal most of the time. But when the nervous energy takes over, that’s when the lips start to fly.”
“I know. So don’t get nervous.”
“Easy for you to say. I have to woo a woman who”—I lean forward and whisper—“if I’m honest, is extremely attractive.”
Storee’s eyes widen as a large smile passes over her ChapStick-covered lips. “Oh, well, this is a new development I wasn’t aware of.”
“Can you not?”
“Uh, no, I can. I’ve never heard you mention anything about a woman you find attractive. This is the first time. So I need to revel in it.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Tell me what you like about her.”
“Nothing,” I say. “I like nothing about her. I didn’t say I liked her. I said she was attractive.”
“Okay, then what do you think is attractive?”
“The obvious things,” I say, getting annoyed.
“And what would those obvious things be?”
“You’re really going to make me say it?”
She smirks and brings her mug to her lips. “I am.”
“Fine,” I huff. “She has a gorgeous face. Symmetrical in all the right ways. Her nose is cute, with a bit of a swoop at the end that I find adorable. And her bow-shaped lips are not too big but not too small either, perfectly proportionate. I think the dimples she has add to the charm of her face, but it’s her eyes that are simply stunning.
Caught me off guard at first. And when they shine against the bright snow, they’re incredibly captivating. ”
“Oh . . . my . . . God,” Storee says, unable to hold back her smile. “I was so not expecting you to say that. I was expecting a simple I like her eyes, not a monologue about how they captivated you.”
Passing it off as nothing, I say, “I’m one with the words. What can I say?”
She leans forward more and whispers, “Are you doing this whole wooing thing to get with someone? Like, do you want to date her?”
“Absolutely not,” I say with a shake of my head. “No, not even a little. She has a beautiful face, I will give her that, but her personality does not match. I’ve talked to her a few times now, and let me tell you, a real trash bag, that one. All garbage. Bleh.”
Storee chuckles. “It feels like you’re overcompensating.”
“I’m not. Trust me, we have nothing in common. I’m a cinnamon roll, and she’s an overbearing oven ready to roast me to dust.”
“Uh-huh . . .”
“Storee, I’m serious. I have no intention of actually becoming romantically attached to this woman.
How could I? She’s related to Dwight, red flag number one.
She thinks she can waltz into town and put someone out of business, red flag number two, and she uses Pepsi as a weapon, red flag number three.
If I presented this case to that guy on social media who runs giant green and red flags across a field, he would struggle having to cart around the red flag that is Betty.
So in conclusion, no, not interested. Thank you for asking. ”
“Okay. Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
“Just want to be sure, because if there are feelings there, then I don’t want to move forward with this in case you get hurt more.”
“Trust me, I won’t get hurt.” I wink and then take a sip of my coffee. “I’m iron, baby. Nothing penetrates me.”
“You know, a lot can penetrate iron. Even oxygen, leading to rust—”
“You know what I mean,” I say, exasperated.
Sheesh.
Betty
Is it weird that I’m nervous?
When I got Storee’s text last night, I was thrown off. How did she get my number? Then again, it’s a small town. I think if you know the right people, you could find out anything. But when she asked me to have coffee, I felt . . . excited.
It hasn’t been easy, being here, not knowing anyone but Uncle Dwight, someone who I’ve started to notice isn’t the most popular in town.
Walking around, few people say hi to him, but I do see others waving and talking on the side of the streets.
Maybe because he’s not as chatty as others, but it will be nice to chat with someone other than him.
And Storee seemed really nice.
I also brought my notebook so I can sit and study the atmosphere of Warm Your Spirits, which has such a cute name to begin with. But also probably a wonderful place to start when it comes to my research, because if any place can sell a warm Christmassy spirit, it’s the local coffee shop.
I open the door to the store, and I’m immediately presented with the smell of coffee and baked goods.
The register and where the coffees are made are in the center of the shop, which has a little 360 view of everything that’s going on, leaving the perimeter of the shop for seating.
Decorations are carefully hung, pine and cranberry garland draping from one end to the other, while numerous Christmas trees decorate the space.
Fake candles are propped up on every frosted windowsill, a fire is roaring in the back with real firewood, and subtle Christmas music plays in the background, offering that cozy Christmas feeling.
I take a mental note of the fireplace, because it’s real, not an electric one, no gas involved, something the owner must maintain throughout the day.
That’s a really nice touch. Something I probably would never have thought of, because even though it smells like coffee in here, there is a subtle smoky scent that adds to the welcoming ambience.
Wanting to order first, I walk up to the counter, and an older woman with blonde hair greets me. “Hello, dear. What can I get you?”