Chapter 27 #3
“Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God,” Betty says as she flees from the blanket once she’s in my room.
Her fingers dig into her hair as she looks up at me.
“What the hell was that? Did you know your parents were coming home? And why did I talk to your mom about your monstrous dick? She probably doesn’t want to know that, but I couldn’t think of anything else, and when I’m nervous, I ramble, and oh my God, why didn’t you remove the string from your dick before you got up?
You should have removed it, because then they wouldn’t have known that I was eating popcorn off your penis.
But now . . . now they probably think I was hoping for some .
. . I don’t know . . . some seasoning from your penis for my garland.
” Her eyes widen. “They must think I’m a floozy.
A harlot. I mean, I was on the floor between your legs with popcorn garland.
I was clearly sucking your penis, eating popcorn off it like it’s my very own corn on the cob.
I’ll never be able to look at them ever again. ”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I say, coming up to her, the garland still attached. I pull her into my chest and wrap my arms around her. “They’re not going to think any of those things, especially the penis seasoning thing, because honestly, I don’t even know where you were going with that.”
“Atlas, that was not how I wanted to meet your parents.”
“Yeah, that’s not how I wanted you to meet them either. I’d have preferred it if we were both wearing clothes and you weren’t hanging out between my legs.”
“Ugh, that’s what happens when I try to be adventurous.
We should have just waited until after dinner like you scheduled, but noooooo, I had to try to seduce you like you seduced me, and look what happened.
Your parents caught me nibbling on your nether regions.
” She pulls away and sticks her hands through her hair again, clearly in distress. “Think I can sneak out the window?”
“Babe, we’re in the attic.”
“I know, but I can be . . . agile. I can shimmy off a roof.”
I walk up to her again and pull her close to my chest, kissing the top of her head. “No one is going to shimmy off the roof. What’s going to happen is we’re going to remove the garland from my dick; then we’re going to put clothes on and go talk to my parents. Simple as that.”
“What clothes?” she asks. “My clothes are downstairs, and I didn’t even wear a bra over here because I thought it would be sexy.”
“Trust me, it was sexy. Everything about what we were doing was sexy, up until the point that my parents walked in.”
“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”
“Uh, nope, it’s a fact. Took my dick quite a long time to become flaccid, even with my parents standing in the entryway.
I was turned on and ready to follow your direction.
And I’m not saying that to make you feel better.
I’m saying that because it’s the truth. If my parents didn’t show up, I’d probably have your legs wrapped around my head, my tongue lapping at your clit. ”
She sighs. “Don’t say things like that. You’re just going to turn me on, and I refuse to have sex with you with your parents downstairs, your naked ass print still fresh on their couch.”
“When I say that we are for sure not having sex with my parents downstairs, I mean that. Any sex will now occur at your cottage, because I can’t possibly do anything with you here while they’re here. You’re far too loud.”
Her mouth drops in shock. “I’m too loud? This coming from the man who growls loud enough to shake the logs of this home.”
“I’m not loud,” I say.
“Uh, yes you are.” And then in a deep voice, she says, “Oh, babe, yeah, take this dick, fucking take—”
Knock, knock.
“Sorry to interrupt but, uh, thought Betsy would like her clothes.”
Betty clamps her hand over her mouth, eyes wide.
“It’s Betty, Mom,” I say. “And I’m sure she’d love her clothes.” I move over toward the door and crack it open, keeping my naked self to the side so she can’t see. “And thanks. We will be down in a second.”
“Sounds good. I have souvenirs.”
“Yup, can’t wait.” I shut the door and turn toward Betty, who is covering her breasts now, looking pale and horrified.
“Oh my God, Atlas, your mother thinks I want you to take my dick.”
I press my hand to my forehead. “She definitely does not think that.”
“She does.” Betty nods. “Yup, she does. Well, this relationship is over now. It was nice while it lasted. Thank you for the orgasms, but we’re done now.” She heads toward the window, and I quickly run after her, the garland still attached.
“Do not go out that window.” I tug on her hand, and she turns toward me, her eyes landing on my penis.
“For the love of God, Atlas, take the garland off your dick! Why is that still on you?”
“I don’t know. You used some sort of wizardry tying it on.” I unravel the garland and then toss it. I’ll never look at popcorn garland the same. “There, that better?”
“No,” she says, her eyes welling up. “This is . . . this is a disaster.”
She covers her eyes, and I quickly pull her into my chest, rubbing her back.
“And I can’t even put my shirt back on because it’s way too inappropriate.”
“Shh,” I say. “I know it feels embarrassing right now, but I promise my parents are chill. We’ll be laughing about this later. And you can wear one of my sweatshirts, okay?”
She looks up at me, a tear falling down her cheek. “Can this please not be spread through the town? I don’t think I’d be able to survive.”
“I’ll make sure of it.”