Chapter 28
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Betty
Narrator: Can’t get the visual of that garland attached to his penis out of my head. What about you?
And the thunking sound it made while he walked up the stairs?
Answer me this: Why didn’t he gather the garland and carry it up? Why did his penis have to do the heavy lifting?
Either way, I know one thing for sure. While Betty was going to the bathroom and gathering herself, Atlas ran downstairs, looked his parents in the eyes, and told them not to repeat a thing that they saw. Then he ran back upstairs before Betty came out of the bathroom.
If anything, our boy Max is a gentleman. He lets her come first—for the most part; sometimes he’s quick on the trigger, but we’ll credit our girl for that—and he protects his lady friend from salacious town gossip. What more can you ask for?
Maybe parents who signal a warning before coming home, eh?
“Seriously, it will be fine,” Atlas says as he holds my hand and brings me down the last few steps and into the living room, where his parents have draped a sheet over the couch and are now sitting, waiting for us.
Great.
“Hey,” Atlas says with a wave. “Wow, you guys are home. When did that happen? I was just upstairs with my girl, Betty. This is her by the way, fully clothed.”
His parents both wave at me with curt smiles, clearly feeling the awkwardness in the situation.
“Yup, I wear clothes,” I say, because I don’t know how to handle things like this.
“We do too. We really enjoy clothes,” his mom says while I feel the urgent need to stick my head in a hole. “I’m Ida, by the way, and this is my husband, Otto.”
“Very nice to meet you.” I lean in closer to Atlas, using him as a guide so I don’t say anything more ridiculous than I already have.
“Very nice to meet you too.” His mom motions between the two of us. “When did this happen? I didn’t think we were gone that long.”
“Long enough,” Atlas says. “And it sort of happened right after you left. Betty came into town, and she actually, uh, she’s related to Dwight.”
“Yokel?” Otto asks.
“Yeah. He owns the property next to ours.”
“He does?” Otto’s brow pinches together. “I didn’t know that. I’ve been wondering who owns that parcel for a while. I’m surprised to hear it’s Dwight.”
“So was I,” Atlas says. “Anyway, he brought in Betty to help figure out what to do with the lot.”
I feel my nerves kick up, because is he going to tell them what the original idea was? What I had planned initially? I really hope not, because that would be a surefire way for them not to like me. To ask me to leave.
“Oh, that’s interesting. What are your thoughts?” Ida asks.
Not trying to put you out of business, that’s for damn sure.
“Umm, well, I haven’t said anything to Dwight yet, but I was thinking of some sort of cottage rental, like an adult resort kind of thing, but mini-cottages rather than a large dominating hotel.”
“That’s a wonderful idea,” Ida says, sounding like the sweetest lady ever, despite finding me practically naked, under a blanket, nuzzling against her son’s bare crotch. “We could really use some more lodging in this town.”
“That’s what I told her,” Atlas says. “She has some really good ideas. Why don’t I order some pizza, and we can talk about your trip and what Betty has planned?”
“That sounds great.” Ida stands from the couch. “And after Betty goes home, you can clean the couch with the carpet cleaner.”
“Is that necessary?”
Ida smiles gently and folds her hands together.
“Atlas, it is absolutely necessary. Now if you’re going to be difficult about it, I can remind you how I really entered my house after a long trip in Europe, but being the gracious woman that I am, I’m choosing to push that aside with the knowledge that my son is going to clean the couch his bare ass was on. ”
Clean the couch, Atlas. For the love of God, clean the couch.
Atlas nods. “Of course, Mom. I’ll clean the couch.”
She walks up to him, pats his cheek, and says, “Such a good boy.” Then she takes me by the shoulders and directs me to the dining room. “Otto, grab everyone drinks. There are conversations to be had.”
“So how did this come to be?” Ida asks as she picks up a piece of pizza from the box.
We spent the last forty-five minutes talking about their trip and my plans for the cottages, Ida joining in and telling me what a great idea it was while Otto nodded. They’re actually really nice, Otto being the quieter of the two and Ida being a direct replica of Atlas.
“What do you mean?” Atlas asks.
“You two. Who made the first move? Did my son ask you out? Was he a gentleman about it?”
I glance over at Atlas, who has cheese hanging off his lip. “Umm . . . how did this come to be?”
“I thought she was hot and asked her out,” Atlas says with a casual shrug.
Dear God, Atlas.
Could we try to look somewhat respectable?
“Oh my God, I hope it didn’t go like that,” Ida says, looking horrified.
You and me both, Ida.
“It didn’t,” I answer and then clear my throat, ready to put on a show. “I actually became friends with Storee, and she mixed up a night that we were supposed to meet. Atlas was there too, and we all hung out along with Cole. That, I guess, was the start of it.”
“Christmas Cupid Night,” Atlas says with a dangerous smirk. “She lured me under the mistletoe and forced her tongue into my mouth.”
What the hell is he doing?
“Oh goodness,” Ida says, while Otto coughs out a laugh.
“What? No, that’s not what happened.” I flash a look of murder over at Atlas. “He was the one who lured me.”
“Didn’t have to try hard.” He winks at his mom.
And I seem to black out in that moment when I turn toward him and push at his shoulder.
“What are you doing? You’re making me look like a hussy, especially after the way your parents found me in a precarious position when they arrived home.
You know good and well you were the one putting on the moves that night. ”
He glances at his parents and then back at me. Talking through the side of his mouth, he says, “I’m sorry. I’m nervous. I’ve never had a girl really meet my parents.”
Talking through the side of my mouth as well, as if his parents aren’t sitting right in front of us, I say, “Well, saying that I’m the one who lured you under the mistletoe isn’t painting me in a good light.”
“I know but it makes me look desirable.”
“You want your parents thinking you’re desirable?”
“Can’t be sure. Just putting on a good face.”
“Making me look like I had an open kissing booth at Christmas Cupid is not the way to do it.”
“I would have paid to kiss you at the booth.”
My anger lessons as I tilt my head to the side. “Aw, really?”
“Yeah.” He smiles. “I would have spent all my money at your booth.” He cups my cheek, and I lean into his touch.
“How much?”
“Whatever was in my wallet, and then I would have paid in favors.”
Forgetting about his parents entirely, I lean in closer and whisper, “What kind of favors?”
He smiles broadly and runs his thumb over my lips, lightly tugging on them. “The kind of favors that—”
Otto clears his throat, snapping us out of our haze.
Oh shit, right, we have company.
When we turn our attention to his parents, we both straighten, and my cheeks flush with embarrassment.
God, what is wrong with me?
“You were saying how you’re not a hussy?” Otto leads.
Right . . .
Face flushed, I turn toward his parents completely and try to put on a smile despite the sweat building at the base of my spine.
“Um, so there was Christmas Cupid Night, where we got to know each other better, but then there was a snowstorm here, and we lost power. Atlas came to check on me and found me on the couch, wrapped up in blankets with no heat. I think that night changed everything.”
Ida presses her hand to her chest, thankfully moving past the awkward moment. “Oh my goodness. You poor dear.”
“He brought me here and honestly probably saved me, because I was not prepared for the electricity to go out. My cottage only runs on electricity—”
“And Dwight didn’t set her up with a backup battery, so she had nothing.”
“That’s dangerous,” Otto chimes in. “That could have been serious. Atlas, I’m glad you checked on her.”
“Me too,” I say, looking in Atlas’s direction, once again falling into his delicious gaze. “Then he took care of me after that, and, well, it was kind of hard not to grow feelings for him.”
Atlas tugs on the corner of his lip. “Yeah, same. I couldn’t let her out of my sight.”
“Or your arms.”
“Or my bed.”
I truly never really want to leave his bed.
We gaze at each other, hearts sputtering from our eyes as his hand clasps mine.
“Well,” Ida clears her throat, trying to draw our attention, but I can’t tear my eyes from her son.
“Isn’t that, uh . . . sweet? Rescued in a snowstorm.
” Ida holds her hand to her heart. “I’m glad you went and checked on her, because if you didn’t, we never would have known that popcorn garland could be wrapped around a penis. Something your father and I can try.”
That snaps us both out of our haze as Atlas turns toward his parents, a pinch in his brow.
“For the love of God, no,” Atlas says, causing his parents and me to laugh.
“That was an eventful evening,” Atlas says as he pulls up to my cottage. It’s started to snow, and instead of walking, he loaded his truck up with a Yeti battery just in case I lose electricity and said that he’d hook it up for me if I do.
“Yeah, not how I expected it to go.”
He takes my hand and kisses my knuckles. “Sorry that my parents walked in on us. Really wishing I knew how the evening would have ended. Did I come with popcorn around my dick, or was I going to come inside you?”
I chuckle. “Something we will never know.”
“Shame. Are you okay though? I kind of thrust you into a situation of meeting the parents, and I just want to make sure you’re good. Not sure if that was too soon for you, or . . . or you’re rethinking your decision to date me . . .”