Chapter 5
SAM
Does the asshole even read the weather forecast?
I stared at the message on my phone and scoffed.
Marco:
Took Lucy to the lodge to cool off for a few days.
Be back after work.
Hope you didn’t do anything stupid last night.
I didn’t.
Unless having an erection for your sister counts.
If she had shoved me again, she woulda found herself bent over the kitchen table.
Marco:
Gross.
Come meet me for lunch, asshole.
With a sigh, I turned the key in the ignition as the car came to life. I hadn’t slept at all, walking aimlessly around the local cemetery. There was this area next to the gate that was still large enough for me to slip through, and I had learned enough to evade any security.
When I stormed out of the house, I had no idea where I was going.
Yet I always ended up there. I loved it because you could tell the dead all your secrets, fears, and worries without judgment or the risk of the information getting into the wrong hands.
My weaknesses would never be used against me again.
Something about captivity rewired my brain, and when I came home, it was almost as if I was worse than before.
She could hate me all she wanted, but she would see in time that I couldn’t let her watch me slowly kill myself, in and out of treatment, and all fucked.
My head was finally clear enough that these moves could be made without addiction hanging over my head.
No longer a brewing storm, and with calmer waters ahead.
The quaint restaurant crossed my view, and I pulled in, ready to eat and then make a weekend trip, whether any of them wanted me to or not.
Marco stood in front of the restaurant, watching my every move as I crossed the parking lot, and my stomach twisted in knots. It wasn’t enough to have the love of my life upset with me, but my best friend’s, my brother's, trust had wavered, too.
“I’m clean, scout's honor,” I said, holding up my hand. A breathalyzer sat in his hand, and a laugh rumbled in my chest. “Really?”
He sighed heavily, tucking it into his back pocket. What would he have done? Arrest me for being past curfew? Eagerly, I met him halfway and brought him into an embrace.
“I didn’t tell her anything, but one day you will have to. She does deserve to know why you’ve been home for two years, and she’s gotten nothing but radio silence,” he declared, slipping on a patch of ice that was on the stairs, clutching the railing for dear life.
I shook my head, smiling.
Don’t worry, bud. Nobody saw you.
The scent of freshly cooked bacon filled my senses as we entered the empty diner and took a seat in the booth. Thankfully, we had missed the breakfast rush. I was never one for prolonged conversation. Over the years, I learned it was better to stay quiet and get to the point when needed.
I wanted people to be afraid of me. At least, for a long while, I did, wearing an ever-present grimace on my face to match the darkness that followed me around. It was easier than plastering on a fake smile like everyone else.
I wouldn't say I was depressed. Honestly, I was quite content with how my life turned out. My perspective was a tad skewed, leaving me realistic about the world and how dangerous it really was.
My upper lip tucked into a smile as the waitress came by to offer us coffee.
“Black, please, and whatever he wants to eat.”
My fingers drummed on the table, waiting for him to recite the same order he’d been getting since we started coming here.
“I have money on me.”
“I wasn't asking if you had money. Order something. I got it this time,” I replied, folding up the menu after placing my order.
A double cheeseburger with everything on it, a side of fries, and a piece of apple pie. My mouth was already watering. I hardly went out to eat. It was more manageable for me to meal plan and stick to the routine I’d made for myself.
My eyes were trained on the wall behind Marco, lost in the decision I’d made only about an hour ago. I couldn’t chicken out now. It was now or never. His voice was muffled, and I blinked my thoughts away to answer the mystery question.
“Huh?”
“I said, I know that face.”
“Oh, yeah, know yours too.” I smiled awkwardly.
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Don’t even think about it.”
“Why?” I snorted. “It’s the holidays, Marco. Why did you ship her off to be alone?”
“Sam. Leave her be, alright?”
“Lucy is up there by herself with a storm coming, M. Unless you plan to put one of those bullets between my eyes, I’m going,” I warned, daring him to stop me.
I was silent, staring daggers at him. The tension was so thick a knife could shred right through it. He caved eventually, rubbing at the back of his neck in thought.
I knew he was warring with himself and losing. I smiled when his fingertips brushed over the pen and notebook he pulled from his pocket. He was going to let me go to her, and, by the way he stared back with blazing eyes, I knew this was my only chance.
Marco’s aftershave engulfed my senses as he handed me the paper. “Don't make the same mistake twice. Here’s the address. Just in case you didn’t remember where it was.”
The paper crumpled in my fist as I slid out of the booth, throwing down the cash and heading out the door. If it were my sister, I would feel the same as Marco. Honestly, I wouldn’t have given myself the address.
I slid into the driver's seat and keyed the address into the GPS, while my thoughts raced. She had no idea what was coming. I hoped she wouldn’t push me away. First, I had to go home and pack.
There was absolutely a storm coming. My heart tightened with the hope that we would come out of this together, but I also accepted that it may be too late for us.
The quaint house came into view as my tires crushed the wet snow beneath it. It wasn’t too far of a drive, which I was thankful for. I hated driving and walked whenever I could. Being in vehicles, I never had so much hate for an inanimate object in my life.
Running my hand through my hair, I sighed, trying to break free of the memories.
I could hear the bullets ricochet off the buildings.
The explosive sound they made as they whizzed by my head and hit the wall behind me.
I just wanted it to stop. I needed a distraction, and this was it.
The addiction I could never be rid of. This weekend, she would find out how deeply rooted my devotion was, no matter the price.
The car jolted as I threw it into park. I hopped out quickly, making sure to grab my mask from the passenger seat and slip it on as I headed for the cabin.
It was nothing much, and kept me warm. Just a simple skull-faced mask with a soft interior, built with enough room to put my goggles or sunglasses on when needed.
It was cold as a bitch, and I looked forward to the warmth that radiated in the cabin.
“Shit,” I muttered as the stairs groaned under my weight.
The cabin door was shut, and I could see the glowing red of the security panel from the window. It looked like I would have to do this the old-fashioned way.
Knock.
My hand hovered over the door when a soft whimper halted my actions, and I wanted to listen in and figure out what was going on.
The only way I could do that was to get sneaky. Slowly, I knelt to the ground, balancing on the balls of my feet and careful not to alert her of my presence.
Once in position, I was able to place my face near the slightly open window and hear the conversation as if I were in the room itself.
“He was cheating, Mother. I just refused to believe it. I mean…what’s wrong with me?”
“I raised you to be strong, my love,” came the other voice from the phone’s speaker. “That man got too much of your energy. Alienated you from your brother and us. Even from–”
“Don’t, Mother,” she forced out through gritted teeth.
My frozen fingers grabbed a piece of loose siding, crushing and splintering it into small pieces as I listened to Lucy speak with Dr.Coleman. I couldn’t bear to hear any more, and if she gave me this chance, I would show her what real love was. Help her to see that love was not always one-sided.
Fucking Bastard.
She sounded so broken, and I just wanted to kiss all her worries away.
“You know what,” she said, guzzling a glass of red wine. “You’re right, Momma. I am going to have the best weekend of my life. I even have some friends with me.”
What the fuck?
I thought M said he brought her up here alone.
A booming laugh could be heard from the speaker as Lucy held up a vibrator, showing her mother through the video chat.
The silence was deafening from inside while the whipping wind mingled with the hooting of owls and howling of the wolves higher up in the mountains.
If her mother was anything like I remembered, she laughed awkwardly and bid her goodnight.
This position was painful now, and I was thankful when the door jiggled. The bells above signaled that I should move out of view as Lucy stepped onto the porch.
I could see the lone tear stray down her cheek and shuddered breaths forming a dense fog as she took the tarp off of the large firepit, and threw a wool blanket over a chair.
Alarm bells rang when I lost sight of her, and I immediately sprang into action, following her footsteps until they ran out at the mouth of the trail. Like hell she would be entering the woods by herself.
I’d be there, like I always have. Her college graduation, outside her first job interview.
Each time she volunteered at the hospital.
Every time she was forced to retreat to a hotel to escape a rough night.
I was there…so many nights I wanted to reach for her when I was home.
I wasn’t stalking her, more like paying attention.
Over the last fourteen years, I’d spent a fair amount of time overseas, and like a good soldier, I did my duty. I couldn’t run any more, though; it was time to spearhead this.
By the end of the weekend, Lucy would be mine. I would suffocate each of her breaths with a longing kiss. She would admit everything to me, everything she’d been holding in.
She would scream my name while I emptied into her, and then beg me for more.
The thought already had my cock straining against my pants as I followed her into the woods.
Slow, calculated moves, Sam.