Chapter 1 #2
Eddie Stone was everything Jett had ever wanted in a theoretical partner: smart, kind, willing to devote himself to Jett and their relationship.
Eddie knew how to coax the best out of Jett’s prickly personality and dark past, and Jett loved Eddie fiercely, in ways he couldn’t explain to anyone else.
It was as if a part of Eddie’s soul had taken root in Jett, blossomed, and refused to be torn out.
After a moment, Eddie turned away, his lips curled in disgust. Pain lanced through Jett’s heart, the same pain he’d lived with for what felt like a lifetime. Pain that would be with him for whatever length of life remained.
“Good evening.” The captain’s sonorous voice filled the room, quieting lingering whispers.
“Before we begin the usual briefing, there are some changes to the senior officer roster that deserve some time.” He scanned the crowd until he found Jett and smiled.
“First, Lieutenant Ji-tae Valla has decided to move on from the Neo-Tokyo and return to working for Quasar Corporate. He has been granted passage on the Neo-Tokyo for the duration of this journey to Charon.”
Whispers ignited, faces turned toward Jett, but he kept his attention focused on the captain.
Let them talk. Let them stare. They all know why this is happening.
“Lieutenant Valla’s leadership has inspired the whole Security division and we will miss his presence on the ship. Ollie Wort is the new Head of Security as of our leaving Ganymede.”
Jett felt eyes on him and heard the quiet congratulations Ollie received.
He deserved the position and recognition.
Jett didn’t like the attention on him; it made his skin crawl in different, and worse, ways than being touched by strangers or covered in coagulating blood.
Those were easily fixed, but attention was not.
A polite cough broke through the noise.
“Good luck to you, Lieutenant. May your birth star bless your future.”
Jett nodded and dropped his gaze, coiling in on himself. He’d been born under Atrena, the Star of Violence, and it felt as though the captain wished further torments upon him. He hoped the blessing wouldn’t stick.
“Now I will turn the podium over to our First Officer, who also has news.”
Jett’s head snapped up. You bastard. What else did you keep from me?
Eddie had been the calm to Jett’s storm.
Seemingly impassive and unemotional, Eddie kept himself to himself and those few he trusted most. Jett could read him like a book, like a battlefield.
A twitch of his lips, the excessive blinking of those green eyes; Eddie hadn’t been expected to make this announcement himself.
He probably hadn’t practiced what he needed to say, how to say it, or deal with the expected fallouts of whatever came next.
But, stepping onto the platform, Eddie was a mask of calm.
His green eyes scanned the crowd, skipping over Jett as if he were a ghost. And in a way, Jett did feel like just that.
He was no longer a member of the crew, and though no one would remove him from the briefing, he had no business here.
But now he couldn’t leave.
“Good evening.” Eddie’s soft voice was one of Jett’s favorite things about the man. His broad physique and resting asshole face were just masks he wore to protect himself. That voice and the depth to his eyes were the only signs that there was more to Eddie than what he allowed beyond the mask.
A pit opened in Jett’s stomach, threatening to make him sick. Things started clicking into place: quiet calls hidden from him, the sudden change in attitude to a long-held boundary, their last fight, the words Eddie had used against Jett.
“Eight weeks ago, Quasar launched their newest Yacht-class ship, the Golden Lion, on its final systems check voyage. When we reach Charon, I will be taking command of the ship as its first Captain.”
Eddie was never the most popular man, but people respected him for his consistency, his blunt way of speaking.
He had an odd sort of charisma tied to his looks and stance, despite the shattered glass edges of his personality.
Now they politely clapped, whispered amongst themselves, and speculated at who would be the new second-in-command.
Jett only stared: at Eddie, at the Void behind him. Tears welled up in his eyes now that he knew—now that the reason for abandoning their relationship was finally revealed. His face burned with anger, heartbreak, shame. But, in a way, Jett felt like this was only what he deserved.
“It has been a great honor to live among and work beside you all for the last 20 years. I have chosen Lo-ria Callup as my replacement in Tech, and I wish nothing but the best for the rest of you. Thank you.”
“Thank you, Captain Stone,” Captain Ro-nold said with a broad smile. “Now back to business.”
Jett didn’t hear the captain as he regaled the crew with roster changes, upgrades, new developments, or expected entertainment. He stared at Eddie who adamantly stared somewhere else.
Jett watched as his ex-boyfriend took shallow breaths and imagined his hands clenching together, numbers counting in his head, while he calmed himself.
Jett’s sorrow grew with Eddie’s calm, and when Eddie looked at him again, nothing showed in his stance or expression.
He was as still as stone, as impassive as a star.
He stood there, a looming reminder of all the mistakes Jett had made over the last seven years.
The curse Jett placed on their relationship was that he kept secrets, and Eddie knew but couldn’t pry them from Jett.
Jett wouldn’t share his bloodied and difficult past with Eddie, beyond what could be found in his redacted files.
He’d lied about what he’d done, what had happened to him, and though he hated himself for the lies, they’d given him peace at the time. And now Jett’s past would remain his.
“Now, as we begin another journey across System Sol, I want to thank each and every one of you for being here with me.” The captain nodded to a few people in the crowd and turned toward the far side of the room where Ganymede had just disappeared from sight. “Onward, to the stars.”
Jett slipped out of the room before anyone else. He needed a drink.