Five
A week and a half had passed since that conversation with Lowell, formerly Mike, and I felt like, in my attempt to grow closer to him, I’d forced a chasm to open between us with my words. I’d been honest, I’d spoken from my heart, I’d shown him that I could see the good person he is, and somehow, that had caused him to pull away from me.
He’d eaten meals with me, and been polite, and thanked me, but in some ways, as his physical body was healing, it seemed as if the opposite had become true with regard to his mental health. The nightmares were happening every night, and I was sent away each time I tried to ease his mind, and comfort him. It was like living with a stranger all of a sudden, and I hated it. Had the mere act of sharing his name led to this? Was he afraid I’d find something out that I shouldn’t? Was it just that he felt exposed by telling me that much about him? That one detail that hadn’t helped me find out anything more about him?
He was moving around more now, which presented new problems, and twice I’d had to head him off as he moved carefully around my farm, so that he didn’t find the one thing I was trying to hide. Today though, my luck ran out, because as I let myself out of my clean room, and pushed the door closed, I turned around to come face to face with him.
“Whatcha hiding in there, Soph? Looks interesting…” Shit . I shrugged, and tried to steer him away from the building, but he’d planted his feet and, since he was bigger than me, I had no chance of redirecting him.
“Just storage, Lowell, shall we go and have some lunch?”
“You see, I’ve watched you go in and out of there, and I’ve had a nose around, and it’s impossible to see in there, but you know what? I can smell it. You think it’s airtight, but it’s not. There’s a weak spot in your little cavern of fucking secrets here. So I’ll ask again, but let me word it better. Whatcha cooking in there?” My stomach tightened, and I squeezed my eyes closed for a moment. Why did he have to insist on snooping around? He’d judge me for it, and he should.
“Lowell, it’s not-”
“What it looks like? My business? I have to tell ya, darlin’, I think it’s exactly what it looks like, and smells like, and that makes it my business. Do you have any idea how dangerous this is? You’re selling to the Rogues? You think they won’t turn on you the first chance they get?”
Oh god . I wobbled slightly on my feet, and he caught my arm, frowning with concern.
“Soph?”
If he’d been anyone else, I’d have been able to blag this, to play it off as something else, but he was smarter than I’d realised, and with very little information, he’d pretty much guessed everything, hadn’t he?
“Can we sit inside to talk? I’ll tell you, but I haven’t eaten today yet and my blood sugar is low.”
“Jesus, you’re diabetic?”
I rolled my eyes at him. “No, but I don’t really take in as many calories as I should, and sometimes I just run out of fuel.”
Lowell tucked his arm through mine and started leading me back to the house, like I needed to be physically helped back there. I allowed myself to enjoy the warmth of his large body next to mine, and the strength that had gradually returned to his body. He’d even started using the weights in my makeshift ‘gym’ to start building up again.
“Sit down, Soph, let me get you a nice cuppa.” He moved easily around my kitchen, making tea, and rummaging in the fridge for something to cook.
“I can do it,” I said, standing up to prove my point, even though, honestly, I felt like I needed the break he was offering.
“Oh yeah, love, you’re quite the cook, but let’s just leave it to me for now. I’m pretty sure I’ve got this under control.” He lifted eggs and bacon out of the fridge, then returned for butter, and some mushrooms. He clearly was ‘quite the cook’ himself, even if the meaning was completely different, and whipped up a perfectly tasty fried lunch for us, with toast and tea, and we ate in quiet comfort until our plates were empty, and my hands finally stopped trembling. I knew I rarely ate enough to keep my body going, and sometimes I would experience literal crashes like this, where my body would be shaking, and I’d be weak or faint. To be told to eat more regularly really wasn’t helpful, but it was sadly true.
“Okay, Soph, get talking. I’m not sure what to quiz you on first, your drug cooking situation, or the fact that you were fucking shaking with hunger. I’ve never seen you like that before. Huh, guess I’m starting with that.”
I sipped my tea. “I get carried away doing stuff, and I forget to eat, that’s all. I’ve been busy lately, and it caught up with me.”
“To that extent? Why? You can’t just eat before you go out there?”
“I don’t like eating breakfast. It’s too early for my stomach,” I said quietly, and he laughed, one short bark of laughter.
“And yet you’ve been shoving breakfast down my throat every day. I just assumed you were an early riser, and ate before me. Woman, seriously. I can’t have you getting weak with hunger, especially if you insist on cooking for me.” It felt nice to have someone care about that, like my health mattered to them, instead of what I could do for them, but was it real? He was just here because I’d brought him here, and sooner or later, he’d leave me, wouldn’t he? Could I find a way to prolong his stay? A flashback to the movie ‘Misery’ crossed my mind, and I grimaced, no, not like that.
“Sophie, talk to me. I’m not trying to dictate to you, but I care. Can you just accept that?”
“From the man who says he’s not a good guy, and I shouldn’t see him as one?”
Lowell’s face dropped and he sighed. “Yeah, fair point. Still, I won’t eat breakfast anymore if you don’t eat it with me, how’s that?” A tiny grin appeared on his face, and I found myself smiling back.
“That’s fair. Okay, so you want to know about the other ‘cooking’ I do.” He nodded, getting up to make more tea for us, and I had to admit I really enjoyed this little domestic situation we had going on. He fit well in my home, didn’t he?
“Are you doing it safely?” He asked suddenly, turning his back on the kettle to reach for our plates. I got up to help him, and he watched me with concern before he allowed me to help.
“Of course. It’s not something I set out to do, you know. I… I’m good with the sciences, and the wrong people knew that. Eventually it was easier to give them what they want, so I could get them off my back.”
“So you’re being forced into making shit for the Rogues?”
Micro
I felt protective of this woman, and it had a lot to do with the fact that she was clearly in deeper than she realised with those fuckers, but it also had a lot to do with how much I cared about her. She was sweet, and caring, and so much prettier than she realised. She did her best to hide it, covering up in bulky casual clothes, and wearing her blue and purple hair tied back, to keep it out of her face. Yeah, I had no idea what her natural hair colour was, but the bright colours suited her, as did the stud and ring in her nose, and the one below her lip. She had her own style, and I couldn’t imagine her without these things to accentuate her beauty.
“Not forced, as such. I… I dated Rexy Dawson, uh… sorry, he goes by ‘Reaper’ now.” Yeah, great road name, not one you get for honest reasons, as I know. Reaper was known for being an asshole, and that was something that was known by other clubs in the surrounding areas, because these guys were notorious for attacking other clubs, and this fucker was normally at the forefront of things.
“Reaper’s the one who got you caught up in cooking up shit for these guys? Babe, we gotta get you back out of this.”
Sophie blinked those wide blue eyes at me.
“Babe?” Fuck, did I just call her that? I facepalmed, and she lowered her eyes. Was she not horrified at the idea of me addressing her with some term of endearment? More than that, was she disappointed that I brushed it off?
“You don’t mind me calling you babe?” I’d realised, over the few years of playing a fucking role, and hiding my true intentions, when I really wanted to just be me, that sometimes it was worth just fucking speaking your mind, and putting your shit out there. This was one of those times.
Sophie’s cheeks went adorably pink, and she wet her lips before she replied, and yeah, that had my eyes on those sultry lips of hers now. Why was I suddenly getting fucking horny around her like this? It wasn’t that she wasn’t worthy of it, but I definitely wasn’t worthy of her .
“I… I don’t mind, it just surprised me.”
I made the tea, before I joined her again at the table, this time sitting beside her, because it felt like across the table was too fucking far away at this point.
“In a good way? I don’t wanna go making any assumptions or anything, but I also don’t want to overstep, because I’m aware I’m here because you saved my ass.”
Sophie sighed, placing her hand on my shoulder and rubbing gently.
“I think, at this point, you’re here because I like having you here, Lowell. I normally keep people at arm’s length, because of the dangerous stuff I’m caught up in, and honestly, I shouldn’t be encouraging you to stick around for it, but I… I enjoy your company.” I could see how hard it had been for her to admit that, so it sucked that she really shouldn’t keep me around, since I was toxic as fuck, and would probably be more likely to bring her harm than anything else.
“I can’t promise I can stick around for long, but while I’m here, I want to help you with this situation with the Rogues. You can’t just run?”
She shook her head. “My younger sister is in her teens, and they’ve made a few comments about how she’d make a nice jailbait club girl. Stuff like that. I don’t think Rex… Reaper would do that, personally, but the club isn’t all that nice. If I can keep this going until she’s out of school, and safely at uni, or something, I can try running then.” Nope. Those fuckers. This had to end now.
I reached up and brushed a lock of purple hair away from her eye, and she sucked in a sharp breath. I suddenly wondered what it’d be like to kiss her, to find out what sounds she made then, or if I touched her, stripped her… Fucking hell, why was my head suddenly in my pants? Her pants.
“I’m gonna get you out of this sooner, babe, here’s what we’ll do.”
Why the fuck did I suggest I masquerade as her boyfriend and co-conspirator? So I could infiltrate their club, and find a way to end them. Hell, it hadn’t worked with Phoenix, but maybe that had been a relief in the end. I hadn’t had the balls to do the things I’d threatened anyway, and the few things I did that pushed the limits, had been at a serious cost to my sanity. Maybe those skills were better aimed at a club who deserved it more.