Twelve
W hy was she pushing this? She must have been able to tell that I was a shitty person deep down, right? I’d proved that to everyone I’d ever fucking known. Lowell the asshole, son of Leif the fucking cunt. Had I ever been just me, or had I always just been an extension of the awful people in my life?
Her hand on my arm was fucking torture, just like every touch was, because I wanted more, but I had no right to want that, did I?
“Lowell, please,” she whispered, and I turned, letting myself look at that beautiful face, those wide eyes, and those fucking lips I wanted to taste again.
“Woman, I only have so much willpower, and you’re pushing me to my limit. Do I want you? Of course I fucking want you. Every second I’m awake, I fucking want you. You enter the room, and I’m picturing you naked. You smile at me, and I’m picturing your mouth on me. You touch me, and I wanna fucking throw you down and fuck you. Wanting you is not the problem. Knowing I’d be tainting you with my fucking evil is the problem.”
She was blinking fast, still absorbing my words, when I decided that one kiss might just help us both get past this urge, so we could move on. Was it my best thinking? Nope, any thinking done with either of my brains was always bad decision making.
I grabbed her chin and dipped my head, catching her lips with mine, and if I thought she’d pull back or resist at all, maybe even hoped she would, I couldn’t have been more wrong. With a sigh, she just relaxed into me, her lips parting and her tongue teasing at my lips. I was so fucking lost, taking the kiss from tentative and gentle to something so much more. Before I knew it, I’d pushed her back against the wall, and our tongues were getting really well fucking acquainted, and it was only when she suddenly yelped with pain that we stopped, and I pulled away. Did I fucking hurt her? I knew I was a monster, and I didn’t deserve her, and here I was proving that fact.
“It’s okay, I leaned on my wrist, Lowell, it wasn’t you. Hey, look at me.” Sophie gently cupped my cheek, and I lifted my eyes from her swollen wrist.
“I liked everything that happened between us, Lowell, do you understand me? Everything .” Fuck me. She was sent to fucking tempt me, to destroy me, because I knew she wasn’t for me, and that knowledge was gonna fucking break me. This was my punishment. This was the universe making me pay for what I did. Showing me what I could never have.
“Why don’t you go get the ice back on that, while I make something to eat, otherwise we sacrificed a bag of peas for nothing.” I had to head for the kitchen before she saw my fucking boner, and saw how much I wanted more. Clearly I was going to have to be the smart one here, because she gave in way too easily, and the asshole in me would just keep taking, if I didn’t get my head out of her pants.
As I walked into the kitchen, something slammed into my back, leaving a momentary cold patch, followed by a weird sound as it hit the floor.
“What the fuck?” She’d thrown the fucking peas at me, and she was laughing. Fuck me, she was so beautiful when she laughed like that, with total abandon, like there wasn’t a single fucking thing to worry about. Like we were just two normal people who could have a future. Because she didn’t know she was stuck here with a fucking killer. Jesus .
“I need help, Lowell,” Sophie called across the hall, pouting at me, as I started heading in her direction, and honestly I wasn’t sure if it was to offer help, or fucking jump her. She giggled, and struggled out of her long t-shirt, tossing it in my direction as she practically scampered back into her room.
Well, hell. I was out of willpower, and if the lady wanted to keep ignoring my warnings, I was inclined to give her what she wanted after all. I followed her into her room, and dragged my own t-shirt off, ignoring that wary part of me, in the back of my mind, reminding me I’m not worthy of touching her, and she’ll just be another woman lowering herself to be with me. She lay back on her bed and reached for me, and I just fucking gave in, because somehow I was getting this chance with her, and I was enough of a bastard to take it.
Sophie
H e seemed to be fighting with himself internally, but he finally groaned, and lowered himself over me, his fingers gently catching mine, and angling my sprained wrist out to the side and away from his large body.
“How is this happening, babe? You really want this? With me?” The way he said that, as if the idea of wanting him was so unthinkable, could have broken my heart.
“Yes, Lowell, I want you, specifically you . I need help, and didn’t you say you’d help me with anything? I have an itch I just can’t scratch, but I think you can.” He snorted, shaking his head as he lowered his hips over mine, his hard cock pressing against me.
“Guessing you need a specific tool to get to that itch, huh? Might have brought one with me.” He started laughing then, shaking his head at himself. “Sorry, my bedroom banter is a bit rusty, or non-existent, I guess. It’s been a while.”
I eased my good hand between us, sliding it against the bulge in his sweatpants.
“I think you know what I need, Lowell, will you please give it to me?” If he rejected me now, I might never have the courage to do this again, because there’s only so much rejection a girl can take, right? Lowell’s eyes were fixed on mine, but when I saw his tongue swipe across his bottom lip, I knew he’d made his decision. His head lowered again, and his lips touched mine, soft, sweet, and then with more urgency, as his tongue surged between my parted lips.
He was kissing me like he’d wanted me for as long as I’d wanted him, and it was perfect, just like I knew it would be. I was squirming beneath his weight, wanting more, and close to begging for it, when he lifted his head again, blinking slowly at me, as that familiar grin appeared.
“Aw, baby, are you so horny you can’t keep still? That’s adorable.” He literally ruffled my hair as he said it, and despite the outrage it should have caused, it started me giggling again, breathless, desperate giggles.
“Maybe you should do something about it?” He moved suddenly, easing up onto his knees, straddling my thighs.
“Fuck me, you’re so beautiful, Soph. I bet you don’t see what I see when I look at you. I see someone way too fucking good and pure to be sullied by my touch, but I’m a selfish fucker, and I want you anyway. Wanna get you all dirty, marked inside and out with my cum.” Oh god, his words were sending desire spiralling through me, to all my already throbbing, tingling parts.
“God, yes!”
Lowell reached up to circle one of my nipples with his forefinger, teasing so close but not quite touching it.
“Trouble is, babe, I can do all kinds of stuff to you, but we have no condoms, unless you’ve got a stash, and if you have, I’m gonna get kinda jealous. See, the idea of you with anyone else makes me want to find them, and break their faces.” Lowell dipped his head and flicked his tongue over my nipple, sending a shiver down my spine. If that felt so good, how could I not go further with him?
“I… I’m on the pill… I mean, I forget sometimes, but… but I have them,” I gasped, practically thrusting my chest in Lowell’s face, “I haven’t been with anyone except-”
His head lifted, and his eyes narrowed.
“Except?”
Why did he stop touching me? All I wanted was more attention for my poor nipples, and he was so good at it.
“R… Reaper, but the last time with him was last year. He was my first… My… my only.”
Lowell growled under his breath, his eyes settling their angry gaze on my injured wrist, before flying back to mine.
“So the asshole who tried to break your fucking wrist is the one who broke you in? Popped your cherry? He’s your fucking chosen first?”
“Dammit, Lowell, no… well, yes, but-”
“He doesn’t even fucking exist to you now, got it? He’s dead to you. I’ll fucking make that happen for real soon, but for now, don’t even think about him, don’t say his name, I don’t want you remembering him for a second. This is all me now, you’re all mine. I’m gonna make your body sing, and you won’t let your mind think about who was there first.”
My phone buzzed on the bedside table, not for the first time, and Lowell snatched it up, passing it to my good hand, but I saw the set of his jaw, as he rolled away from me and sat on the edge of the bed.
“I… I’m sorry.”
Reaper : Next shipment will be on time. Your little ‘injury’ is no excuse.
That asshole.
“It’s about the next shipment, Lowell, that’s all.”
The other messages were from him too though.
Reaper : Your pretty little bitch boyfriend can help you cook them up, if he can get his head out of your whoreish pussy.
Oh my god.
Reaper : He’s no better than me, and you’ll realise that soon enough. Don’t come crying to me when you’re wearing bruises from his fucking fists. I warned you about him.
Lowell got up and headed out of the room, and I gasped, leaping off the bed to follow him. Had he seen this message? Did he know what things Reaper had said to me, before he twisted my wrist so brutally?