Forty-Three
M icro was subdued, by the time we were home again, and I was once more patching up cuts and swelling on his face, and feeding him painkillers. The stab wound in his back was small, and he told me just to bandage it, that it wasn’t deep. Apparently he thought it was barely a wound at all, despite how much it bled at the time, and when I was trying to cover it up. It was the act that was significant, the literal stab in the back from the man he’d done the same to.
“That’s it now, right? No more using your face as a stress release device?”
Micro snorted, falling back on the pillows and groaning as his eyes closed. We’d come back at midday to patch him up in private, and eat, and now we were in the bedroom, and I was waiting for him to say something about the things we’d seen and heard today. Grease was back and keeping things ticking over, although he was already talking about how he was looking forward to the next visit from ‘PC Pain-In-My-Ass’ as he’d dubbed her. Nothing good could come of that situation, but it was a problem for another day.
“Are you going to sleep?” I finally asked Micro, and he chuckled softly, his eyes still closed.
“It’s the middle of the day, babe, of course not. I’m kinda in some pain though, so I thought I’d just lay still a while, if that’s okay?”
I stroked his cheek and he smiled.
“You didn’t run from me,” he whispered, as his eyes finally opened again, and he turned his head to look at me.
“You’re observant. Is that something they teach you when you live the club life?”
He chuckled again, turning on his side, and wincing as his bruised face pressed against the pillow.
“I wouldn’t blame you though. I know my story is full of horrors, and most of them happened to the people who trusted me.”
Was that how he saw it? Did he not see himself as a victim too, of his upbringing, of his childhood, of his family. He’d been a damaged child, raised in a hellish environment, left clinging to his belief that his father was the good guy, and his destroyers were the monsters.
“What about the horrors that happened to you?”
His eyes lowered, and he grew distant, staying silent for way too long. I almost spoke again, but then he sighed.
“They don’t matter. Whether they shaped who I am or not, it doesn’t justify anything I did. Others go through shit and don’t turn psycho. Maybe I’m just my father’s son. Maybe that’s all I’ll ever be.”
“No.” I pressed a finger over his lips, then moved it again when he winced, the poor thing, so beaten and bruised again.
“Sorry. I just want you to stop brushing it under the carpet, like it doesn’t matter. You were raised by a monster, and lived in hell, and you came out the best you could, but you didn’t stay that way. You grew. You changed. You evolved. You’re a better person now, and you deserve a chance.”
He sighed, shaking his head slowly. “Nobody else thinks that way, and with good reason. The things I did… Jesus, I can’t even fathom now how I could be that fucking twisted. What went wrong in my head, to make me act that way… it makes me fear myself, in case I lose it again.”
How could he still be thinking he was a bad guy? Did he really not realise what he’d been doing to himself?
“You don’t get what those substances were doing to you, do you?”
His gaze became a little shifty, and he looked away from me. Did he think I didn’t know?
“Steroids, Micro, and your testosterone levels were off the charts when you got here. You don’t think that crap messes with your perception? With your brain chemistry? It causes paranoia, and rages, and it doesn’t let you think clearly. You had a bad upbringing, yeah, but that crap you were using was making it ten times worse. You’re not that man now.”
Micro reached up and stroked my cheek, his eyes wide, and full of love. This man who had such a huge heart, was absolutely not the man they’d known. I just wished they could see it.
“You’re too good for me, babe. I deserve exactly what they decide I deserve, but every second I get with you is a fucking honour I’ll never waste. You’re the one who deserves more, but it turns out I still have my asshole genes, because I’m planning on keeping you anyway.” He hesitated, rolled his eyes.
“Obviously I’m just being a macho fucktard, babe. If you want out, I’d never force you to stay with me. If you change your mind about me, I’ll never stand in your way.”
Was that supposed to hurt so much? Was it supposed to feel like my heart being torn from my chest? He was being sweet, and saying the right things, but all I heard was… I won’t fight for you .
“Babe?” I didn’t even realise I’d pulled away from him, but I was up and walking out of the room, before I could even process what I was doing.
“Jesus, babe, what did I say? Come on, don’t run from me.”
Was that what I was doing? Was I running from him, or was I just trying to distance myself, long enough to absorb the fact that not even Micro thought I was worth fighting for. Would anyone ever see me as so important to them, that they needed to do everything to keep me? I wasn’t the kind of person others invested in, was I? It wasn’t about wanting to feel important, or special. It was about wanting to be wanted. Just because of who I was.
“Soph, please, whatever I said, please, just talk to me. You know I’m not great with words, but I’m trying.”
Micro caught my arm and spun me, backing me up to the wall outside the kitchen.
“I’m sorry, I’m going back on everything I just said, because I said if you wanted out, I’d let you, but I can’t just let you walk away. Please talk to me. Whatever I fucked up, please let me try to fix it. Please don’t be the one person I can’t even have that chance with, when you’re the only one who fucking matters!”
What? I froze, barely breathing, as I stared back at his panicked face, the way his chest heaved with ragged breaths, and the way he was clinging to me like he’d never let go.
“Do you want me?” I asked him finally, putting it out there, because if we went back and forth on this, we’d drive each other insane. Micro’s brow creased, and he tilted his head.
“Isn’t that literally what I just said? I love you. I don’t want you to leave me. Ever.”
I shook my head. “No, what you said was, you wouldn’t fight for me if I wanted to leave. You’d just let me walk away, like it wouldn’t matter to you one way or another. No, wait, let me finish . I’ve never been the one someone would put it all on the line for. I’ve never been the one who mattered more, and I guess I need that. I need to know that I’m worth fighting for. That you wouldn’t just watch me walk away, and do nothing.”
Micro’s eyes widened, and he leaned closer to me, his body heat searing me, everywhere we pressed together.
“This was a test? To see if I’d let you go? To see if I cared enough to run after you?”
I knew exactly what he was thinking. He was thinking I was a game playing bitch right now, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t change my reaction now, any more than he could change anything he’d done. What’s done is done, and I guess that’s the lesson we’ve both learned the hard way.
“It wasn’t. I guess it was me running to hide from a realisation I didn’t want to face, but it wasn’t me trying to force a reaction from you. I’m really far more straightforward than that, or at least I normally am. I don’t want to run from you, or not be with you, but I need to know that if I have weak moments, you won’t just write us off, and decide I’m better off without you. I want you to fight for us, for our future. I want to know that you’ll argue, and harass, and beg, and do anything it takes to talk me around, because the one and only thing I’m sure of, is that you’re it for me.”
His lips crashed against mine, and he pulled back a second later, with a curse.
“Can’t even kiss my fucking woman right now without pain, but fuck it.” His lips returned, and he kissed me for so long that my legs were trembling with want, and need, by the time he pulled back, sucking in a sharp breath, like he was as oxygen-deprived as I felt right now.
“Let’s get one thing clear, sweet thing. You’re mine. You’ll always fucking be mine, and if I have to chase you to every fucking corner of the earth to remind you of that, and bring you home, then I will. Don’t test me, because I’ll bring you back, every damn time. Do I want to be the good man who’d let you go? Absolutely. Do I think I’m capable of that? Not a fucking chance in hell.”
Thank god! I kissed him again, and when he dragged me in the direction of the bedroom, I didn’t hesitate, because he’d said his piece, and it was exactly what I’d needed to know he’d do. Did I want a good man? Yes, but did I think he wasn’t one, because he wanted to keep me by his side forever? Fuck no.
Micro
I ’ll say one thing for my woman, my Sophie, she’s fucking insatiable in bed, and while I would have fucked her into the mattress once we got back in the bedroom and stripped off, there were more important things to deal with first.
I straddled her naked body, and pressed her hands down by her head.
“You’ll be my old lady. I’m not asking. I’m informing you. This is a decision I’ve made. Got it?”
She shuddered beneath me, her head bobbing rapidly in agreement, but I wasn’t done.
“Can’t make that happen until the club’s patched over, and I’m inked back in, but until then, you’ll be my wife. We’re getting married. ASAP. Again, it’s not a request, because that’s not what you want. You want me to keep you, and this is me doing that. I’m gonna make you mine in every possible way.”
She practically undulated beneath me, and my dick throbbed with need. Things felt like they were getting settled here, and I never thought it’d happen, but I wasn’t about to let her get away from me now.
“Mine, Soph. Say it .”
“Definitely all yours, Micro, now and forever.”
“That’s my girl. Now spread those thighs, so I can eat you until you scream.”
I wasn’t sure what it was about going down on women that I loved so much, but even so, until I met Sophie, it had never been such a deep intense need as it was now. I needed to taste her, and I needed to watch her, from my position between her sweet legs, as her whole body trembled and convulsed with the pleasure I gave her.
“Oh god,” Soph gasped, at that first long lick that sent a shot of fire through me, and the need to eat her intensified. I couldn’t get enough of her taste, and I wouldn’t stop until she couldn’t take anymore.
“Lay back and take it, babe, I’m gonna tongue-fuck you into a fucking coma.”
She giggled, and that giggle turned to a ragged gasp, as I pressed her apart with my thumbs, and buried my tongue deep inside her, wriggling it back and forth, as her taste filled my mouth and I groaned. She had to have been made for me, which I in no way deserved, but I would never be a good enough man to let her escape now.
I fucked her rapidly with my tongue, swallowing every mouthful of her taste I could, so she could fill me, just like I’d be filling her soon enough.
“Fuck! Micro!” I loved her voice screaming my name like that. Loved my name, now that I’d heard it from her lips. Now that I’d heard it said with something other than amusement, or mocking, or disgust. She said it with love, with need, with want. My fucking old lady had claimed me long before I claimed her.
I kept tonguing her, as her orgasm practically drowned me, and then I pulled back, dragging a hand over my face, and licking my palm in one slow, seductive glide.
“Oh god!” Her face was deep red, and she was gasping.
“You squirt, baby? That was the fucking hottest thing I’ve ever experienced. Wanna make you do it again.” I lowered my face again, but she grabbed my hair and pulled hard.
“No! Oh my god, no, no more!” I grinned, swiping a finger from her clit, through her drenched pussy, and lifted it, to lick it again.
“It’ll turn back into pleasure, babe, I promise.”
“Fuck me, dammit!”
I grinned widely, licking my lips again.
“Yes, ma’am.”
I crawled up and over her, grabbing her left leg, and dragging it with me, to open her up so I could fill her with my cock. Every time I’d been inside her, it felt like the first time, and the millionth time, like we were made to be locked together like this, and nothing else mattered.
“God, I love you, Micro,” Sophie whispered, lifting her hips to meet every sharp thrust of my cock deep inside her. Hearing her words of love enhanced every breath, every thrust, every gasp of pleasure, the way her wide eyes stared into mine, as she saw me , the man who loves her, giving her everything I had.
See, being with Sophie has kinda turned me into this pussy guy who thinks sappy shit like that, but I think she’s made me a better person. Maybe a better kind of man. I was raised by a monster, but somehow she’d dug through the wreckage of the man I’d become, and found who I should always have been.
Her pussy clenched around me, and I followed her right into that fucking bliss, filling her with cum, and wondering if this would be the time that created life. Our child. Our future.