14
Sagan
“Then I quit!” I heard Velle yell from outside the family dining room. “I don’t care my debt or—I quit then.”
I sighed and scrubbed my hands over my face. I’d stormed out of the dining hall and come in here saying to leave me alone when she and a few others came after me. They were arguing outside the room as I tried to wrap my mind around what had happened.
I went over to the door and threw it open, waving for them to all come in. “I just needed like five minutes to…”
“It’s been like fifteen and you kinda broke a really expensive plate which is a new level for you,” Myriam defended. “But, everybody, chill the fuck out.” She thanked the staff who brought in some food from the dining hall so we could eat—Myriam, Velle, Treena, Maple, and me.
I snorted and gestured for Lydia to sit. It was just us women and like… Just sit and eat. “It’s Saturday morning even.”
“Thank you, Your Majesty,” she chuckled and accepted.
“Okay, let’s back up and—”
“I can’t keep being hated,” Velle rasped and then let out an actual sob, covering her face.
“We’re all really fucking tired, Sagan,” Myriam sighed. “Like we need help. I know we’re getting more, but it just never ends.”
“I know. I’m exhausted too,” I sighed. “I’m not mad at you, Velle. I’m just mortified and confused. Can you please fill me in?”
She sniffled and tried to mop up her face, sounding whinier than I’d ever heard her which actually told me a lot about how tired she was.
“He gave me the card and said he couldn’t catch you.
That people were talking about you not decorating and he had you covered.
I don’t know, I was in the middle of like fifteen things, so I said sure whatever and gave it to you. ”
“And you didn’t think to tell her that?” Treena asked, glancing between us.
“I didn’t think he wouldn’t fucking tell her,” Velle cried. “Why wouldn’t he tell her? Like I’m fucking busy! I’m not a couples counselor. And like there’s levels of stupid—he called and had a card issued in her name and didn’t tell her?”
“Yeah, I’m actually with Velle on this one,” Myriam muttered. “Like what the fuck, Thorn?”
“I agree,” I said at the same time as Treena.
“Thank you,” Velle said before blowing her nose again. “I wasn’t starting trouble. Could everyone stop accusing me of that? Do you know how hard it is to constantly be hated where you live or—”
I burst out laughing and it wasn’t happy or sane sounding. It cut through some of her upset though because she sighed and seemed to catch on to what I was getting at.
She tried to get us back on topic. “Everyone was talk—”
“And that’s a real problem, Sagan,” Treena cut in.
“Your castle is seriously ridiculous with the way that everyone talks. It’s actually like worse now that they like you.
I think they’re trying to get the word out that you’re not like the rumors or that they like you so you stop thinking you’re not loved in your own home. I’m not sure, but it has to stop.”
I couldn’t agree more. I just didn’t know how without firing someone and that would make people hate me again. Plus… We were all tired for a fucking reason after all.
I let out a slow breath and met Velle’s gaze.
“Look, I don’t hate you anymore. I think we’ve come a long way and I’m really glad Myriam was pushy and brought you on.
However, we’re not friends. I don’t see you as one.
” I gave a half shrug when all four women couldn’t hide their shock. “You did a lot of damage, Velle.
“Some of the problems I face now stem from shit you started back in college. Rumors I wasn’t a good student, but it was all my name.
” I continued when she flinched. “That I was buying off professors or my parents’ aides wrote my guest lectures.
” I felt better when even Myriam shot her a look on that one.
“I believe you when you say that you were wrong.”
“And I regret it.”
“I believe that too, and you have told me that,” I accepted.
“It’s just not enough time yet. I never talked trash about you, so it’s easier for you to move past our dislike of each other.
Yes, I fought back—you know what happened.
” I let out a long breath and took a few bites.
“I haven’t heard people here say they hate you, just you’re not their favorite. ”
“I’ve heard it,” Myriam snitched. “Mostly the bitchy candidates because Velle is the gatekeeper, but a few of the guards and staff like they want her to hear it as if that makes them on your side now. I don’t really know. They don’t smell…”
“Committed to what they’re saying,” Treena offered, nodding when Myriam snapped like that was the right answer.
“It’s complicated, but I would definitely think that ‘hate’ is too strong of a word for what they’re saying.
The point is that they shouldn’t be saying anything though.
Not within these walls or where people could hear them. ”
Which meant she was also worried about outside of the castle.
She wasn’t the only one. I didn’t have an answer, and short of the gods sending us some sort of intervention, we were going to be behind on our sleep for a while longer.
Apparently, one of us actually prayed to that or… I wasn’t sure, but Sunday morning I came to breakfast in a shit mood. While things had gone well with the announcement of Wilder’s leaving the competition and the bullshit why… I was getting pushback on his punishment.
Several of the Alphas were saying that it made no sense to have him do community service which would be in the public if we’d all just strived to keep this private. Were they really so stupid or did they think I was so fucking stupid?
Honestly, I was pretty sure it was a combo and I didn’t know which was more insulting to me… Or them.
It should be completely insulting to them because I wasn’t stupid and they should know that already unless they were completely fucking dumb. It was actually getting embarrassing for some of them and I worried how much else they constantly missed.
But they weren’t hearing me that some people did community service just to be better people and that was the goal.
I didn’t think it would make Wilder a better person, but it certainly couldn’t hurt.
I did keep pointing to Joris who had a long history of doing good deeds to be nice. No other reason.
Crazy, right?
But I was seconds from doing something I probably shouldn’t and listening to Queen Rani again about being bold.
And then I was pretty sure I was staring at a message from the gods saying my last time being bold worked out? No, someone’s prayers around me for help?
Fuck if I knew, but I was very, very confused as I stared at twenty electric dragons—all female—standing in the dining hall waiting for me. Then I recognized one and realized they were all from the Gurren family.
“I have so many questions,” Maple muttered from behind me.
I pointed to myself and then back to her as if to say I was in the same boat which made a few of the women chuckle and break the ice. One woman stepped out in front of the others and dipped into a perfect low curtsey to me showing deep respect.
And a bit of an outdated practice since most dragons no longer curtsied.
“You’re lovely, child, but this isn’t a conversation for so many ears,” Belinda said as she joined us. “I suggest your private dining room and the cameras off because too many…”
Couldn’t keep their mouths shut.
I saw a few guards give Belinda annoyed looks, but they flinched when they saw me watching them.
I kept their gazes. “I completely agree.” I smiled at the women.
“Please, come with me.” I flinched when Belinda asked Treena, Myriam, and Velle to join us later but nodded that I agreed. “We’ll be right back.”
“Always with the secrets,” Velle bitched.
I moved in front of her and lowered my voice.
“I know you’re tired and we’ve talked, but this is what I’m talking about that people see.
You just openly disagreed with the queen in front of everyone as a guest in our country and my aide.
You see it as innocent, but they see it as an insult as your royal family would as well. ”
She opened her mouth, but then another gift from the gods maybe and Velle actually learned from her mistakes and glanced around.
She let out a slow breath and then took it in, meeting my gaze.
“I’m sorry. I don’t register things like that.
It seems—it’s not the waters I was raised in.
It’s not… Can I get like an etiquette tutor? ”
I patted her shoulder and looked at our guests. “Yeah, pretty sure I can get you one we can trust now.”
She moved with me when I went to leave. “Sorry I was slow to get this. I don’t…”
I decided to help her with the way people saw her.
It wasn’t helping anyone that they didn’t like her.
“You saw the problems and attacked them to help me. You had the right priorities. Now you can refine your approach because you can since we’re making the candidates actually do things like we were promised they would. ”
Let them get shit for it instead of Velle.
It was true. It wasn’t her fault we couldn’t trust them or they were lazy.
Some useless. Even Thorn. He could have done more, but he just focused on access to me.
He could have jumped in and tried to help Velle and Myriam.
They didn’t tell me that he offered to help them.
He’d offered to help me.
I nodded for the first woman to go ahead when we were in the private dining room with the rest of the Gurren guests, Belinda, and Maple.
“I’m Yolanda Gurren, Your Majesty,” she greeted, curtseying again. “Your uncle’s older first cousin.”
“A pleasure to meet you, Yolanda,” I said, keeping it formal since she started that way for her own comfort. “You undoubtedly know Princess Maple, and this is Ancient Belinda, my advisor and teacher.”
“I’m honored to meet you both.” She curtsied to both of them but not as deeply.