14 #2
“You have suffered greatly, child,” Belinda whispered as she went over to Yolanda and rubbed her shoulder. “You did your best. You need to forgive yourself. You are not the villain you feel.”
Yolanda swallowed loudly. “Yes, well, we can always do better and I am here to pay for the sins I have committed.” She blinked quickly and met Belinda’s gaze.
“But I thank you for your kind words and also clearing me in front of the queen so we might have a better conversation. I know you don’t do that only for her, but my nerves. ”
“You are being very brave and that deserves help, not hindrance,” Belinda told her. “You organized this and pushed others to do the same.”
“They were very willing and wanted to,” she promised before focusing back on me.
“We are educated and have degrees, but some of us have no work experience besides charity work.
The younger of us have some as social norms would now require and not raise eyebrows, but it was quick before we were mated off.
“Then it was about the Gurren dedication to family and our children—you are well read in on the sexism of Thovudin.” She ignored when several people snorted. “But really, we didn’t use our education for more than show. However, most of us broke from what our mothers and the elders wanted from us.”
“What do you mean specifically?” Maple hedged.
“She doesn’t know,” I warned and then let out a slow breath and told her what the Gurren women did to their own daughters.
She immediately figured it out. “No. No, please don’t tell me Amelia actually—you used to be so scared sometimes as a child and I couldn’t understand why when—” She let out a sob when I nodded.
I felt her love when she hugged me with all she had and apologized over and over again for missing the signs and letting me suffer. I kissed her cheek and basically passed her off to an amused Belinda so I could focus on the women who had traveled to… I wasn’t sure yet.
Not in a dismissive way. It wasn’t about brushing Maple aside. Not at all.
She wouldn’t want to feel so much on display as she processed this development either. Probably not? I wouldn’t at least.
Now that Maple was read in on the Gurren family’s dark secret—one of many—Yolanda continued. “I shocked myself when watched, not my daughters. I could not stop when my mother or others did it.” She swallowed loudly.
“Like my mother,” I chuckled darkly after a moment.
“Yes, your mother was a believer in the practice, not just…” She looked uncomfortable. “I’m sorry. She believed women were meant to be tamed—docile.”
There was a lot I wanted to say to that, mainly that I knew that already, but I didn’t know these women, and it was better to just let her say what she needed to.
She gestured to two gorgeous women. “I have run interference and found every flaw for any potential suitor that I pointed out to Darren and he has helped so they weren’t mated.”
“You were banking on Darren taking over and putting an end to this,” I surmised.
“Yes. Many of us were,” she confirmed. “I told my daughters the truth when they were too young to understand such horrors and they played along. I hid them when I could—we all did. We did the best we could but we…”
“Running wasn’t the answer, child,” Belinda whispered.
“I know because I wouldn’t have my children who I love, but I cannot forgive myself for what I could have done better,” Yolanda said quietly before letting out a long breath.
“So we are here to help, Your Majesty. However you need us. As family or as aides—whatever we can do so Thovudin starts being a place that is safe for females instead of what it has been.”
I let out a slow breath and made a decision. “I will accept the help because we are drowning and things aren’t going well. We need the support and every win I have they’re pushing back harder. Unfortunately, the first thing I will ask you will put salt in your current wound, but it’s what I need.”
Maple flinched, figuring it out immediately. “A family who kept this big of a secret knows how to keep their mouths shut. This should never have stayed quiet but…” She sighed when I nodded. “Even the staff in that compound, the guards—someone knew and saw too much.”
“And you have a problem with too many saying too much here,” a different Gurren woman said. “You need them trained on how to behave like…”
“Like grown adults,” I drawled, giving a shrug when people seemed surprised.
“It’s like school here some days. As I’ve said before, when I wasn’t queen and visiting home that I could listen in and get all the gossip.
That’s ridiculous. It has always upset me and now Benson and Raquel are acting like this is just some upset of mine and that it’s not serious enough. ”
“They’re being dismissive with you again?” Belinda bit out.
“No, more that it’s just not as high of a priority as I feel it should be and they aren’t the ones who should be making the fucking priorities though,” I seethed. “And once again, I cannot fire them, demote them—anything or I would be out on my ass because this is more their home than mine.”
It killed me to say that, but it was true.
Yolanda glanced between Maple and me. “Do they still see you as a child? Could that be part of it?” She waited until we nodded.
“Then my suggestion would be to restructure as Darren basically did. Not threaten to demote them or threaten their position, but put a new one above them. Give them a new boss that then reports to you and won’t have these problems.”
“That was supposed to be the point of Myriam, but she’s too buried and it’s hard for someone not from Thovudin,” I muttered, liking the idea. And I was pretty sure I was staring at the woman for the job.
She swallowed loudly as she realized she probably just signed herself up for it as well.
“I need the help and someone to be my mother, but better for me since I don’t have a mate and too many are using that against me,” I told her honestly. “Will you help me? At least for now before we drown?”
She took in a deep breath and took a step closer. “Yes, Your Majesty. It would be my honor to serve at your request for whatever you need to help the future of Thovudin so it is better for my daughters—all our daughters.”
Good woman. Really, I respected her and all of them for running with the chance they had now.