Chapter 7
Istill wasn’t completely convinced I wasn’t hallucinating.
I went through a whole phase in college and had hallucinated before, but that was drugs, not a head injury.
Still, the burger and fries tasted fantastic, and I felt stuffed.
That didn’t happen in college. So, I was kind of fifty-fifty on this being real.
“I texted my sister. She’s about your size. She’s bringing clothes,” Celix said.
“Tell her to bring toiletries, too. Sydney is probably going to want to be presentable when she meets the monarchy.”
Yeah, I could use a hairbrush, a toothbrush, and some lip balm, but I actually didn’t care about impressing anyone. I stopped doing that sometime around the age of thirty-five. There was a knock on the door, and an absolutely stunning cat woman strode in with a bag.
“Out,” she said, pointing to the door.
“Yes, ma’am,” they all said, shuffling out.
“Okay, you have to show me how you did that. I’m Sydney.”
“Almeth. I have a feeling you can be terrifying enough without my help. Your last name helps.”
“My last name is Bishop. I’m still not all that convinced Lucifer didn’t get sick of this place and get freaked out about being a father and fucked off somewhere.”
“He wouldn’t. Our history is a little different from what you’ve probably been taught.
Lucifer and the rest of the angels just wanted free will like the humans had.
They were refused, so they rebelled and were kicked out to Hell.
Lucifer got his free will to a point. He can come and go and do what he likes, but Lucifer can’t leave this place without it coming undone, eventually.
He’d have no place to go after that because he can’t go home. ”
“Have any of you thought that’s what he wants?”
“He doesn’t and I’m going to tell you something those assholes probably didn’t. Lucifer had a kid before. He wasn’t evil. His son was an artist who made beautiful music. Do you know where I’m going with this?”
“Not a clue.”
“You aren’t losing your mind about being the Antichrist.”
“Not religious. The only time I’ve even read parts of it was for research for kinky books I was writing. Based on what I know about the Antichrist, I don’t exactly fit that glass slipper.”
Wasn’t the Antichrist supposed to be this wildly successful, magnetic personality? Yeah, that wasn’t me. I was successful because I didn’t have to talk to anyone in person. Almeth just laughed.
“The Antichrist isn’t a thing. Lucifer is still the big bad because the rebellion was his idea.
Angels died on both sides, and some of them still want payback.
He stopped having kids after what the angels did to his son and then left texts behind that any of his kids were going to bring about the apocalypse so the mortals would turn on them.
If Lucifer broke that rule and sired another child, he would have brought you back here immediately unless he couldn’t.
You were actually in danger the whole time you were on Earth.
I know what his reputation is, but he’s not like that. ”
That was a lot to process. There were a lot of things I was in danger from on Earth. We had to watch our drinks in bars, not walk alone at night, and the Value Menu at Taco Bell got me through some hard times and tasted delicious, but my guts revolted every time.
It was unsettling. Did Mom know? She was always protective of me.
A little too protective. I went through a phase where I hated it and we fought all the time, but now I was grateful.
She prepared me for nearly everything except this, if this was real.
I missed the fuck out of that woman. She wouldn’t be here. She was too good for this place.
Mom never shit-talked my sire, even when I did. I wanted her to when I was a kid, and when I got older, I thought she didn’t want me to hold on to that kind of bitterness. She had passed several years ago, so I couldn’t ask if she knew anything.
If this were real, I wasn’t qualified for any of it. I didn’t particularly care for nepotism hires or legacy admissions. Having Morningstar DNA wasn’t going to magically fix Hell or the souls escaping. I couldn’t exactly go back to Earth. I knew how this worked.
I had no magic before. If I did now, then it would be easier for the angels to find me. I was stuck here. I had plenty of friends back on Earth, but Mom was gone and I really needed to find out if cheaters ended up in Hell and I could personally request Wrathhog for my ex if they did.
“So, I heard you kicked Kujo in the nuts.”
“He had it coming.”
“He can be abrasive, but he had a rough life. It wasn’t his dad who abandoned him, it was his mom.
It wasn’t a wham bam, didn’t know there was a baby.
She literally gave birth to him at a hospital on Earth and left him there.
His dad blamed him and treated him like shit.
CPS eventually took him away, and he ended up in the foster system until his magic showed up.
Salvon didn’t want him when he was brought here, either. ”
“It’s no excuse to be a dick.”
“He’s only sixty years old. That’s practically an infant for demons.”
“Can you explain demon puberty to me because I’m also going through human menopause and it sucks? I don’t trust those three to understand, even if your brother and Nero are kind of great.”
“Celix has a lot of sisters. Women of our kind have litters. Nero is an incubus, so he’s really in tune to feelings. They probably could have helped.
“Anyway, I don’t know much about human menopause, but from what I understand about your kind, your powers are trying to wake up and are burning their way through your body. It’s changing you at a cellular level. When it’s done, you’ll feel better, but you’ll be a lot more powerful.”
“So, I’m going to be exploding things until then?”
“That’s leading up to Hellfire. It’s a feared thing. It can obliterate anything. The atmosphere in Hell should stabilize a lot of that. Try this on,” Almeth said, tossing me clothes.
I held them out. Oh, fuck. Almeth had badass clothes.
The bra and panties still had the tags on them, thankfully.
She threw me leather trousers that didn’t have the side seams sewed.
They were held together with crisscrossed safety pins.
There was a distressed black tanktop with a pair of red lips and vampire fangs on them with a drop of blood falling off the lips.
“Damn. Why do I need all these knives?” I asked as she started strapping them onto me.
“Protection. Don’t let your guard down around the princes.”
“Hey, isn’t Lilith the Queen of Hell?”
“For a time. You can’t pin that one down. She does what she wants. Lilith pops in from time to time and we’re all welcome to visit when we’re on Earth. When she finds out you’re here, she’ll probably make a trip. Lilith and Lucifer were a thing for ages.”
“Give me the 411 on the princes and the need for knives.”
Almeth shrugged.
“I’ve never met them. The only lower demons they hobnob with are succubae.
But I have met a few succubae who have met the princes.
They said some of them aren’t bad, but they are all ambitious.
I know they’ve been trying harder to break the link between Lucifer and Hell so they can be king than they are finding him.
My brother thinks your link to Lucifer might stabilize Hell.
Some of the more ambitious princes might think they can exploit your link and rule through you. ”
I snorted.
“I’m not a kid and I was in the middle of a messy divorce. I’m not even the same woman I was last year who hadn’t left a shitty husband. Good luck with that.”
“So, intel. Abaddon is probably the only one you don’t need to worry about. He’s lazy as fuck and doesn’t even want the responsibilities he does have. He might even help you if it’s not too much work and you butter him up. Bring snacks.”
“So, the rest are fuckers?”
“Just from what I’ve been told, they treat their lovers well, but they definitely think they are better than them.
Not sure if it’s a power thing or a penis thing.
Just don’t fall for their bullshit. They’ve been in their castles trying to figure out how to break the link between Lucifer and Hell while the lower demons have been trying to find him and plug the leaks where the souls are escaping. They haven’t looked at all.”
“Noted. Your clothes make me feel like a badass. I might accidentally slit my own throat with all these knives, but I think I’m ready.”
“I’ll teach you to use the knives, but Celix, Nero, and Kujo could, too.”
I pulled my shirt down. If this was a hallucination, it was going on a very long time.
Maybe this was all real.