Chapter 8
Being forty-six in Hell was something else.
This had to be a hallucination. I hadn’t been checked out like this since college.
I felt powerful and sexy. So, yeah, I was probably in my shower with a head wound because this shit hadn’t happened to me in a long time.
It felt amazing, so, yeah, it was probably brain damage.
Apparently, I was in a huge skyrise in the nice part of Hell.
The climate was pretty nice. I didn’t want to be in the fiery inferno part the next time a hot flash came back.
I was still confused if it was a hot flash or a nasty side effect of demon puberty and my magic awakening. Either way, it was complete shit.
We left the high rise and, apparently, there were some arguments on getting me to the rich part of the nice part of Hell.
I’d gotten snatched by hot motorcycle-riding demons, which was just a bit too cliché for me not to be in a coma.
The demons who knew I was Lucifer’s kid wanted me to ride in a fancy car, but if I was living a smutty book, hallucination or not, I was riding bitch on an incubus’s motorcycle.
“It’s really not proper,” a green demon gasped.
“Why?” I asked.
Was this a royalty thing or was it because they thought Nero was beneath me as a lesser demon? Because my mother didn’t raise me to look down on anyone unless they gave me a reason to. No one was beneath me except assholes. They had it coming.
“The Queen of Hell can’t be seen riding with an incubus.”
I didn’t like that. He said ‘incubus’ like it was dirty. I flipped him off, and he gasped. Nero had done nothing but set me at ease and call Kujo out when he was being a dick. I didn’t like that at all.
I marched over and slid my hand into Nero’s.
“Nero will be taking me on the back of his motorcycle.”
The green demon looked like he was going to die of shame and that seemed like a personal problem because it was going to be me on the motorcycle and I didn’t care.
“You probably don’t want to be seen with me,” Nero murmured. “We aren’t prudes here, but they still look down on my kind, even if they enjoy using us.”
“Well, I like you because you were kind to me and looking down on people because of their DNA is fucking racist. I don’t give a shit about any of that. I’ve never been on a motorcycle before and I want to be on the back of yours.”
“Might want to hop on the back of mine if you want a motorcycle ride,” Celix said. “Nero drives like a fucking maniac.”
“I think she’s into that,” Kujo grumped.
I flipped him off, too, because he wasn’t close enough to assault his nuts again. Nero just grinned. He grabbed the second helmet off his bike and handed it to me.
“I’ll be careful since I’m carrying precious cargo.”
Dudes, he was not careful in the slightest. He peeled off like a Bat Out of Hell and just continued to drive that way.
It was exhilarating. I wrapped my arms around Nero tighter and threw my head back to howl.
Yeah, I didn’t care what anyone thought.
I was doing this again. I felt Nero chuckle and if anything, he drove faster.
He took a curve like we were being chased and then came to a screeching halt in front of an honest to Betsy castle. Seven demons were waiting. They looked human, so I was guessing these were the princes. They were definitely looking down their noses at me except for one, who looked amused.
I hopped off the back of the bike and handed Nero the helmet.
“Cool beans. I’m so doing that again.”
“She’s obviously not Lucifer’s daughter.”
“Lucifer would never.”
“Why did you even bring her here?”
The one who looked amused snorted.
“First of all, she looks just like him. Secondly, Lucifer completely would.”
“Why don’t you go take a nap, Abaddon?”
So, that was Abaddon. All the princes looked different, but they were perfect specimens of men if they didn’t open their mouths. Except Abaddon who looked like he was about to take a nap, but found all of this hilarious.
“Because, you arseholes want to take over Hell and I have a feeling, this one isn’t going to let you. Right, little one?”
I usually would have gotten furious at that nick name, but it didn’t bother me coming from him.
Wait. Weren’t these Lucifer’s brothers? Gross.
I wasn’t going to marry any of them so they could plonk their butts on the throne.
I gave Abaddon finger guns because he was right.
I wasn’t going to stop them if I wasn’t Lucifer’s kid, but several people seemed to think I was.
“Come inside then. The riffraff can stay out.”
“No,” I said. “If I’m a queen, then I’m going to need bodyguards. I want these three as my guards. And Wrathhog if you can get her.”
One of them grinned at me.
“That’s my kid. A child of Satan is a child of Wrath. Are you sure you can handle her?”
“From what I’ve heard, we’ll probably be besties.”
Kujo snorted and Satan started laughing. Yeah, I’d just met Satan. He looked like a fucking super model, but with giant horns. His skin wasn’t red, so someone lied about that.
“Good. She needs more friends to drag her away from work.”
“You couldn’t have given her a better name than Wrathhog?”
“I did. She picked that when she was a teenager. She’ll break your face if you insult her name. She’s proud of it. My girl won’t care that you’re queen.”
“That’s debatable.”
“Oh, please,” Satan said. “She looks just like him. Her mannerisms are just like him.”
“We need proof. We won’t accept her until she produces Hellfire.”
“Great. Abaddon and I will tutor her while my daughter and these three guard her and teach her how to fight.”
What was happening right now? Lucifer was my dad and now Satan was my teacher.
This should be a hallucination but I was really starting to think it wasn’t.