Chapter 16 Celix
Kujo and Sydney were eventually going to explode and I still couldn’t tell if that would be a good thing or a bad thing. Kujo spent more time on the mortal realm than I had, so he’d know more about zombies. He’d just never seemed that passionate about them before.
When we went to the mortal realm for a Cambion, he never wanted to check out the latest in zombie movies and television shows. He wanted to make a stop for birria tacos since he couldn’t get those in Hell and converted Nero and me, but he was never interested in zombies.
He was grumpier than usual and it was more than just getting kicked in the nuts. We’d have to figure that out because I needed him focused. The other princes couldn’t kill Lucifer because of his connection to Hell, but there was nothing stopping them from hurting Sydney.
She was a threat, and she didn’t have all of her magic yet. Lucifer wasn’t here to protect her. No one was scared of Abaddon because he never wanted a fight and no one expected Satan to protect her over his own daughter.
We needed to teach her to fight, but Kujo also snatched her naked and didn’t let her bring anything like we did the Cambion kids. Most of them didn’t want their clothes, but they had a sentimental toy they wanted to bring with them. Some wanted to bring their pet.
We were debating a quick trip back to her house for clothes and her computer since she said she was a writer.
“We could portal in, grab what you need, and pop back out,” Nero said.
Which was a much safer option than taking her shopping in Hell. Most demons hadn’t met Lucifer. We certainly hadn’t. But there were paintings all over the place and eventually photos. The gossip rags loved covering the princes and took photos any time they were out in public.
We knew damned well what he looked like and Sydney looked exactly like him. Once I got over my shock that we were in the bathroom of a stunning, adult woman with no clothes on and not some scared child, I knew exactly who her father was. The rest of Hell would, too.
“She blew the roof off her house. If the cops have left, that whole place is a crime scene. If they go back looking for more evidence and her clothes and computer are gone, it’s going to raise suspicion. They are either going to think she killed someone or someone kidnapped her,” Kujo said.
“It’s not like I can go back for long periods of time, right?” Sydney asked. “Angels want to horrifically murder me just because of my DNA. Does it matter if the cops think I did anything?”
“You mentioned you’re married. They always suspect the husband first. You want to do that to him?” Kujo demanded.
“Well, Kujo, he shat on my career, cheated on me with a nineteen-year-old, and I have no problem with letting her deal with his shit, but I make way more money than he does and he thinks I owe him spousal support despite constantly knocking how I made that money. If he’s briefly a murder suspect, he probably has it coming.
There was no blood at my house and they won’t find a body, so it’s not like he’ll go to jail. ”
Yeah, that was definitely the part of her DNA that was connected to Hell talking. We weren’t about possessing people or making them do bad things. Making bad people pay was definitely a thing we all did. We just had a shitty system here where not all evil demons paid if they were important.
“He should pay for his crimes against you,” Nero said. “I could also pay him a visit and break his mojo so he never gets another erection.”
“They make pills for that where I’m from,” Sydney said with a smile.
“I assure you there is no pharmaceutical that can fix it if an incubus or succubus breaks your boner. It’s our ultimate punishment if you wrong us.”
Nero wasn’t wrong. The upper demons like to shit on them because of the whole sex thing, but they were insanely powerful when they were allowed to fight back. They didn’t even have to lay a finger on you to do it. Nero could fuck up her ex from her backyard.
“I’ll think about it, but my laptop was locked in my desk. If the cops didn’t break the lock and get to it, I’d like it back. I want my books and some of my clothes. Is it safer to take me back to get my stuff or go out in public to buy them new?”
Even Kujo could admit we couldn’t take her out in public with no magic. Some of the princes got here and did the exact thing they rebelled against. Their followers were zealots and would go after her. Sydney didn’t seem like the trusting type, but she also didn’t know anything about Hell.
“Fuck me,” Kujo grumped.
Nero and I just glared at him. If he’d done things properly the first time, we wouldn’t have to go back.
Yeah, she blew the roof off her house and someone was pounding on her door, but Felid demons were fast. If he’d given her time to tell me what she needed, I could have gotten it and we could have gotten her to Hell before the cops broke down the door.
Kujo just flew off and reacted, and he didn’t usually do that on the job.
“Okay, fine. We need to find an access point in your house where we can portal in and get a read on the house if we’re alone or not. If we’re not, we leave. If we are, we get in and get out. Low noise and we don’t alert the neighbors.”
“So, the next-door neighbor is nosy as fuck so I’ve got window treatments and high fences in case she thinks I’m fucking her husband again.”
“Were you fucking her husband?” Nero asked.
“Gross. He should probably see a doctor about his asshole itching because he’s always digging like there’s treasure up there.”
“And your neighbor thinks other women want to fuck her husband?” Nero said, wrinkling his nose.
Sydney just shrugged.
“Love is blind, I guess, even when it’s fingers smell like poop.”
“Anyway, we should leave. Can you manage to shut up long enough for Celix and Nero to make sure we’re alone?” Kujo growled.
Sydney just glared at him and flipped him off again. Kujo didn’t like most people, but I had no idea why he was so hostile towards Sydney.
I just had this feeling that if he was less of an ass, she’d be nicer to him, too.