Chapter 18 Kujo
Packing lingerie was beneath me, but I had gotten stuck in a foster home where there was like, ten of us packed in a three-bedroom house and the woman wasn’t all that great at cooking.
She served dodgy chicken one night and everyone was projectile vomiting.
It sounded exactly like what was going on in the next room.
I knew what it was going to look like in there. No thank you.
Where the fuck did this even go? And you couldn’t possibly fit boobs in that without shoving them under your chin. Wouldn’t that hurt? I got why men liked thongs, but why did Sydney have so many of them? Wouldn’t it chafe your ass?
I just shrugged. Why was I even creeping on her underwear drawer? Yeah, she was sexy and maybe I was picturing her in some of this, but she’d also assaulted me twice. Ugh. She’d look amazing in this blue thing that looked like it covered literally nothing.
Yeah, I wasn’t doing this anymore. I didn’t even know what clothes she wanted. I was going to wait somewhere without panties and puke. Fuck this. It was like Wrathhog making the souls choose between castration and being disemboweled. There wasn’t a single option that wasn’t shitty.
I exited her bedroom just as they were running out of her office. No regrets about not going in there. They were all dry heaving.
“Holy shit, it’s like that Barf O’Rama scene in Stand By Me in there and the pea soup scene in The Exorcist had a projectile-barf baby in there,” Sydney gagged.
Yeah, not going in there. I could smell it from the hall. What the fuck did her ex eat? The bad parts of hell where the souls were smelled like Sulfur and brimstone and it didn’t even smell like this down there.
He should probably see a healer about that.
“So, we run in, grab the books, and run out,” Celix said.
I knew how he got when he was psyching himself up and yeah, he was doing that right now. He was going to need it.
“I know we can’t open the window, but I can’t decide if breaking into my scented-candle collection is going to make it worse.”
“It couldn’t possibly be worse. Momma told me if I ever needed to do this, she wasn’t going to judge me. I guess I forgot the part where she said to curse and run,” Nero groaned.
“It couldn’t be avoided,” I said. “We had to get rid of him.”
It was true, but Nero was like a giant puppy. He was honestly one of the best people I knew and I always wanted to make it better when someone was shitting on him or he was just feeling bad about himself. Apparently, Sidney did, too, because she wrapped her arm around his waist.
“Hey, when we’re away from the smell, I’m going to laugh my ass off thinking about him projectile vomiting on the girl he cheated on me with. I’ll get my candles. Maybe if I light all of them, it won’t be so bad.”
“Then, you can start on your clothes, because I’m not guessing what you want to bring,” I snapped.
Plus, how many sexy bras and panties did one woman need? She wasn’t even a succubus. I wasn’t dealing with that.
I also wasn’t dealing with the puke room, candles or no. We needed to get back home.