13. Nero
Iwasn’t sure if Abaddon would help. That was the thing with my kind.
People got addicted to us even when we weren’t trying.
They had whole rehabs for people who got with us and couldn’t handle it.
As far as I knew, Abaddon wasn’t the kind of obsessed that was dangerous and he treated us well, but I knew the real reason he was always yawning and wanting to go home.
Still, I wasn’t going to tell a woman I knew better than her when I didn’t. Wrathhog grew up around Abaddon. I just met him and all I had were stories passed around bars in the bad parts of town.
“Is your dad having to give some grand speech? Shouldn’t he be back with Abaddon?” Sydney asked.
We all laughed. We weren’t laughing at her because she was so new here and had a lot to learn.
“You already admitted you hit that,” Wrathhog said, pointing to me. “My uncle loves his incubi. Would you interrupt the Beast of Eden when he’s having a shag?”
Sydney sent me a smoldering look.
“They might have to give me a fancy nickname if someone interrupted me with Nero and Celix. I’ve decided I’m keeping them.”
Yeah, I was keeping her too. I didn’t think I’d ever wanted someone this much. It was like someone created my perfect woman and had her blow the roof off her bathroom.
“A bunch of people aren’t going to like that,” Kujo said.
“When I start telling them who they can be in a relationship with is the day they can tell me. Until that day comes, they can get fucked with a cactus.”
No, they weren’t. Celix and I were lower demons. Some people considered us a step above the imps. Even Kujo wouldn’t have been acceptable, even being half Fury. It was the human half of him that would have gotten everyone’s asshole in a twist, even if Sydney had human DNA.
Satan appeared out of nowhere and Sydney shrieked again. He managed to move as quietly as a Felid demon for such a massive bloke. He even startled me this time, and I was used to living with Celix.
“So, my brother is having an orgy, and it seems like it’s going to go on for a while. I decided to leave a note instead of waiting or father forbid, interrupted. Last time anyone interrupted Abaddon when he was with his lovers, he threw us straight through a brick wall.”
“We are brothers in Christ on that,” Sydney said.
“Mammon would pass out if he heard you say that,” Satan said.
“Sorry, doesn’t the pamphlet on all that say forgiveness for all sins will be given if you just ask? He’s clearly miserable here and wants to go home. Can’t he just ask?”
“Unfortunately not. We are not human and are held to greater standards. Angels aren’t allowed to fuck up and rebelling was the ultimate sin. It doesn’t matter what Mammon wants. None of us are ever going home.”
“My mother just tried to kill me and I’m already over it,” Kujo said. “He’s had a lot longer to deal with his shit.”
Kujo might have had the balls to say that to Satan, but he never would have said it to any of the other Fallen. And we all knew he wasn’t over it. The Fallen had daddy issues and Kujo had mommy issues.
“So, uh, ballpark. When do we think Abaddon will be dragging himself away from all the incubi dick?”
Kujo snorted.
“How long would it take you to drag yourself away from a naked Nero?”
“Women and Nero have different refractory periods than men. I’m guessing angels don’t have special boner powers and would have to stop before I would.”
“Angels don’t have special boner powers, but I do,” I said, winking at her. “Whoever is in there with him can keep the party going until someone chafes and says stop.”
“Tease.”
“Anyway, I asked my brother to come by when he’s done fornicating. I decided to invite him here because he finds Sydney amusing and will be more likely to help if she talks to him.”
The Fallen were weird. Nothing about this was amusing. Abaddon should help because Armageddon in two realms was at stake.
Sydney shouldn’t have to perform like a monkey for it.