14. Sydney
This was so fucked up. Asmodeus was plotting, Abaddon was fucking, and Satan refused to do anything without backup for such a large fellow. If it were up to me, I’d tell Abaddon to put his dick away and help me kick Asmodeus’s door in to get some answers.
Alas, I wasn’t good for much of anything right now except being frustrated by certain men. Not Nero, Celix, or even Kujo. If it wouldn’t have damaged my wings, I’m pretty sure they would have supported me setting some shit on fire to make a point.
Men shouldn’t be this frustrating in two different realms.
“You should flex your wings a bit. It’ll help,” Kujo said.
“He’s right. It’ll make them stronger and get you out of this room faster. I know it’s driving you nuts not to march over to Asmodeus’s place and demand answers,” said Nero.
“Well, I’d have to ride bitch on your motorcycle again because I don’t know where anyone lives.
I don’t even know where the supermarket or nearest food truck is.
Please tell me you have food trucks in Hell.
Some demon had to eat at a food truck after he put his big-headed demon spawn in some unsuspecting woman and brought that back here. ”
“Actually a demon brought food trucks to the mortal realm before or after he put his big-headed demon spawn in some woman,” Celix said.
“They should do more shit like that instead of impregnating people. If demon sperm is more powerful than human birth control, they need to wear a condom. Before you hump, cover your stump. That’s what a gym teacher told a bunch of thirteen-year-olds when I was in school and it’s true.”
“Not all of us go wild and end up with spawn. It’s considered a rite of passage to spend time on the mortal realm when you graduate school unless you’re an imp.
A lot of us have jobs that involve regular travel there.
Ours involve fetching Cambion, but we also trade.
We learn about your medical and technological advancements, but we also share ours if it’s something humans are capable of. ”
“Some things we could share, we don’t because humans would do terrible things with it.”
No, I got that part. A bunch of people would die and someone would get rich off of it.
I really didn’t want to be stuck in this room any longer than I needed to be, so I needed to follow the advice of people who knew what they were talking about.
I trusted Nero and Kujo seemed to be in a helping mood.
He might bark at me, but he’d never actually tried to hurt me, so in a way, I trusted him too.
It was pretty awkward trying to get out of bed, but Celix picked me up like I weighed nothing and didn’t have massive wings coming out my back and set me on my feet. I pulled myself away from him because I could focus on the task at hand instead of all his muscles and the fact that he smelled good.
Later, though.
“Okay, what do I need to do?”
“So, your wings are a part of you. Think of them like new arms. You can’t pick anything up with them, but they move like that.
It’s just natural for your arms and legs to move when you want to do something.
It’s the same with your wings. Taking them out and putting them away is a lot more complicated to learn, but right now, just try to move them,” Kujo said.
He said that without a single bit of snark and I could play nice too. I was concentrating on the weight at my back and willing them to move.
“Sydney, you look like you have to fart, but you don’t trust it. Stop thinking so hard.”
There he was. I flipped him off.
“I wouldn’t phrase it like that, but you are thinking too hard. You don’t have to command your arms when you want to drink a glass of water. You just have to want to quench your thirst. Don’t think about it, just want it.”
Sorry, wasn’t that the same thing? I tried to do what Nero suggested. I don’t think it was quite what they wanted. My wings suddenly snapped straight out and smacked Kujo clear across the room.
“Shit, dude, I’m sorry! I wasn’t going for a bitch slap with my wings. I was just trying to move them a little.”
Kujo shook the birds away from his head and stood up.
“I know. You only mean to assault me when I’ve got it coming. I also have wings, so I went through this. It happens. I’m a Cambion with a shitty family. I can take my knocks. Did you hurt your wings?”
Did I? I wasn’t in pain, but I was much more aware of my wings now. They flexed gently, but didn’t hurt anyone this time.
“No, I think they are fine. Does that mean something?”
“It’s a good thing,” Nero said.
“You’ll be back on your feet in no time and then Nero and Kujo can teach you to fly.”
That part was cool. If we actually had time with the shit show going on.