33. Kujo
I’d come to terms with the whole seer thing. The worst thing that could happen to me because of that actually did happen. Sooner than I thought it would. If I’d had my full powers, I might have gotten some kind of warning about it.
Sydney protected me. I didn’t know if I could have blocked that spell because none of the Furies taught me. I taught myself, but I’d never been tested with it before. She saved my life and took care of my family so they wouldn’t come for me again.
I was doing this to protect her. I was going to do my best to find her father, but if I could see angels, I could hopefully see any threats around her.
Someone killed Kir. They cursed her mother to a slow, painful death.
She missed an entire childhood with her father.
They couldn’t kill him, so they kidnapped him.
I didn’t know Kir. He was long before my time. Based on what I’d learned about him in school, he was the polar opposite of Sydney. Kir was gentle and a diplomat. Sydney told people exactly what she was thinking right after she mauled their testicles.
I was guessing because they didn’t like her then they thought the rest of Hell wouldn’t, so she wasn’t a threat to them.
However, they didn’t understand demons. All she had to do was look one of them in the eye, call them a bitch pigeon, and repeat anything she freely said around us about the hierarchy here being stupid.
Add in having Lilith’s full support and they would love her.
Fuck, I eventually came around. I actually thought she could do this now.
Which was why I gulped down that potion knowing it was going to get me high.
I was not one of those people who could casually drink.
Someone usually ended up mad at me or something got broken.
I wasn’t entire sure Lucifer was going to find what I did to his portrait as amusing as his ex did.
The potion tasted like someone’s toilet emptied into a swamp and Lilith bottled it.
I wasn’t complaining because I wasn’t stupid.
She said it tasted like shit, but I wasn’t going to say that because Lilith was an extremely powerful being.
She made Furies. She could probably unmake me without breaking a nail.
“Don’t be stoic,” she laughed. “You’re probably going to want to eat or drink something to get the taste out of your mouth. I’ve tried improving the taste, and it just makes it worse.”
Sydney passed her glass to me without saying a word and I desperately drained the entire thing. I didn’t know what I was drinking until the glass was empty. Thankfully, it would not fuck me up any more than this potion.
“I don’t know what that is, but it tastes amazing and I thought it would help.”
“Harlequin juice,” I said, wiping my mouth. “I think it was originally a watermelon when they bought the seeds here.”
“Mango,” Lilith corrected. “It wasn’t just the atmosphere that mutated it. Mammon is a puritanical asshole, but he’s actually very smart. To keep occupied during the early days, he cross bred several fruits and vegetables that were brought here. The Harlequin is a mango and passionfruit hybrid.”
“I love the fruit, but he’s still a nard.”
I was starting to feel a little floaty and spacey. I really hoped I didn’t do something stupid in front of my creator and the woman I’d actually managed to catch feelings for. Mostly because I was terrified of Lilith and Sydney would rip me about it for weeks.
It would be easier if I could just pass out and sleep through this, but sleep was never one of those things that came easy to me.
Even things that were supposed to help you sleep didn’t work on me.
I could pass out if I drank enough, but I tried not to do that.
I’d done it way more since I met Sydney than I did in the average year.
“How are you feeling?” Sydney asked.
Woah. Her big blue eyes were giant. She looked like one of those anime girls from the Mangas one of the older boys at the group home used to steal from that comic shop and hide under his bed. I liked to grab a few of them when I was in the mortal realm.
I was feeling a little boneless. It would be really embarrassing to slide off this couch in a puddle of goo on this nice rug. And I couldn’t get lost in those giant blue eyes from there.
“You’re so pretty,” I giggled.
I felt like she needed to know that right this minute because I didn’t think her ex told her that enough.
“Yup, he’s zoinked.”
“No, I’m being serious,” I said, grabbing her hand. “You look like Sailor Moon. Your ex was too stupid to realize that. I can be your Tuxedo Mask and we can make a little Chibi Moon when you become fertile.”
I didn’t want kids before, but we could make a little super hero baby.
I’ll bet she’d look beautiful carrying my spawn.
Damn. Was I getting hard? Shit. Someone always got throat punched when I got an erection while inebriated and sometimes, I was the one who got throat punched.
Sydney would definitely punch me in the throat. Or she’d go for my dick again.
“I didn’t take you for an anime fan. I’m not a seer, but can I have some of what he’s having?”
“Noooo,” I drawled. “It tastes like someone bottled their swamp ass. No disrespect to your potion making skills, Mommy.”
I wasn’t supposed to say that. Don’t mention how bad the potion tasted. If Sydney didn’t punch me in the dick, Lilith might do something where I pissed lizards. I needed to make this better.
“I’d prefer not pissing reptiles.”
“I have no idea what that means, but at least the potion didn’t make ignite a violent streak.”
“I like this side of him,” Sydney said.
“Good, because I want you to like me. I cocked it up so bad when we first met, then you turned out to be so cool and you murdered my whole family for me. No one has ever done that for me before. I mean, if anyone else exploded my whole family, they’d be executed for it because they aren’t Lucifer’s kid, but it meant so much to me that you did it. Please forgive me?”
I was babbling and probably cocking this apology up too. I really shouldn’t have done it after drinking psychedelic swamp ass, but feelings were hard for me and I’d probably fuck this up sober too.
“I don’t know if you’ll remember this when you’re sober.
I’m a writer, but I’m big on actions. You never left my side and looked out for me when my wings were fragile and you didn’t have to do that.
You switched to saying the most perfect, panty dropping, book boyfriend shit when I was feeling insecure.
You were forgiven before you even asked. ”
I should come up with something swoony to say to that, but I was nodding off and slowly slipping off this couch.
Yup, I was passing out.