Chapter 14
The Lotus Salon is still teeming with guests and staff when I leave.
Shifters grow and shrink elaborately decorated nails, change hair colors to blinding neon hues, and add luminescent glitter dust to ball gowns to make them glow, but that only keeps the children entertained for so long.
After spending an eternity helping Asralyn and the kids find gowns and suits for tomorrow night’s mid-cruise ball, Asralyn dismisses me to take the kids back to their room.
In her eyes, I’m still incompetent, incapable of keeping the children from knocking over racks of bejeweled shoes.
I steer Sage and Ezra into the hallway. As we trek to deck ten, I shake off my bad mood with Asralyn and refocus on the kids. “Sage, I heard you’ve been working on a painting with one of the crafters. How’s it—”
“I’m painting a waterfall!” she cuts in with an excited squeal. “When I use the paints Maren gives me, the water moves!”
I’m not surprised. Maren is one of the best crafters on the ship, and I’m sure Sage’s waterfall painting is like looking through a window.
Sage skips ahead of me, hopping onto the stairs for the tenth deck. “But Aunt Asry says my paints won’t move once we get off the cruise. Isn’t that sad?”
Ezra jogs to catch up with the two of us on his short legs. “What about you?” I ask him. “What kind of dessert are you going to order in the room tonight?”
“The Celestial Chocolate Volcano!” He throws his hands in the air like an explosion.
Isla uses signature spiced chocolates from the province of Nashorne to create hyperrealistic cityscapes beneath a volcano.
It’s flavored with various fruit purees and warm spices and, when tempered correctly, the entire dessert appears to be made of shimmering glass.
Of course, she also uses her skills as an enhancer to make hot fudge explode out of the top like lava, transforming the entire piece into decadent chocolate chaos.
She may lose her taste for a short time in return, but she says the kids’ excitement is worth it.
When we arrive in front of the room, both kids beg me to stay. If only they were the ones I needed to impress. After a brief knock on the door, I shake my head. “Not tonight, but I’ll help you get ready for the ball tomorrow.”
Vance opens the door and smiles down at the kids. “Where’s your aunt?”
“Salon,” they both answer in unison.
“Ah, yes, I was warned it might take her forever to decide on something to wear. Come on in. I’m going to order dinner.”
The kids run inside, but Vance holds the door open and stares at me. I shift under his gaze. Before I can ask if there’s something he needs, he puts his hands into the pockets of his loose-fitting night trousers and coughs.
“I wanted to let you know about tomorrow night,” he says, staring at the floor. “We’ll be voting at the ball. Of course, you know that. I just wanted you to know … we won’t be voting for you.” He pushes a pair of reading glasses up the bridge of his nose. “I didn’t want it to come as a shock.”
Trust me, it doesn’t. Even after saving Sage and Ezra, I’m better known for forgetting their drink orders and arriving late for my shifts.
Using the fake smile I’ve been perfecting for the past two weeks, I give him my best impression of a dutiful concierge.
“It’s all right. I’m hoping to turn things around.
Maybe I’ll have your support in two weeks. ”
He offers a wan smile in return. “Asralyn and I know the ball happens at night. We want to make sure the ship is safe.”
I don’t think any part of this ship is safe, but that’s not the answer the bosses want me to give.
They want me to lie. Crafters and illusives will be stationed in the hallways, making them appear “safe” and normal-looking.
Staff members will be stationed at all doors that lead outside to stop guests from wandering off, but I’m not sure it’s enough to counteract the Morphia fighting back.
“It’s safe.” I take a step closer to him. “But I wouldn’t let the kids wander off on their own. If you need to go in the hallways for any reason, go together. And make sure there’s a staff member with you.”
Vance nods to me and gives me a real smile this time. In a way, it reminds me of Father’s smile when he’s been mixing potions all day and can’t stop staring at portraits of Leith. It’s a sad, tired smile. Before I can offer to do anything more, Vance shuts the door in my face.
Without another moment to dwell on Vance’s expression, I race from deck ten to deck three.
I take the stairs two at a time, slowing only when I’m passing a guest. By the time I throw open the door to my bunk, Alana’s waiting for me.
I can’t help my excited grin as I shut the door behind me.
We get one night of freedom before the mid-cruise ball tomorrow.
As a lady of Credence, I’ve been to many parties, socials, and soirees, but I’ve never been to a staff deck party before. Alana’s laid out outfits for both of us on the bottom bunk.
“How’d you get out early?” I tear my hair free of its bun and unbutton my uniform.
“Rosemary and Duncan said I’d done such a fine job that I could have the rest of the day off.” She whirls around with her hands in the air. “I swear, Roe. I think I’m going to get my trial this time.”
“You better,” I say, snatching clothes from the bed. Most are pieces from dance costumes, but they’re radiant. I grab a black dress embroidered with green vines that snake down the bodice and bloom into full black roses on the skirt. Based on the craftsmanship, I’m guessing Zora sent them.
“Dramatic, much?” Alana laughs. “These are good enough for Kalenar’s Crafter Fair back home. You should see it. Crafters and non-Morphics spend the year making clothes to sell. I’d save up for months. The weeks of the annual fair are practically a holiday in our province.”
I smile. “Maybe we can go together one day.”
Alana grins back as she pulls on a long-sleeved, high-necked blue top with a black skirt.
Her arms are covered by blue lace butterflies with fluttering wings.
She paints on a dark maroon lip in front of the mirror.
As I struggle to get into my own top, she helps me and guides my arm through the hole.
We’re both laughing by the time she finally gets me in it.
Once I’m dressed, I rip a brush through my long hair, struggling to tame the frizz.
Our tiny bottle of soap isn’t helping my hair maintain its usual shine.
Even with a bit of frizz and dark circles under my eyes, I can’t help relishing how nice it feels to dress up again.
But there are other parts I don’t miss, like dancing with arrogant boys like Reginald or the expectations of perfection at every social event.
I rim my hazel eyes in soft black and paint my lips with the same dark maroon as Alana’s, and I don’t even mind the untamed mass of hair down my back. With so much pale, freckled skin exposed, I should feel uncomfortable, but I don’t.
Alana’s mouth droops as she looks at me. With a jolt, I realize what she’s done. “You gave me confidence.”
“It was already in you. I just brought out more of it.” She lets her dark hair free of its braid and it cascades down her back in thick waves.
“I hate when people feel bad about themselves. My mom used to tell my sister and me we were beautiful no matter what. Not enough people feel that way.” She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.
“Tonight, I will not look at Isla. I will focus on anyone else.”
“That’s the spirit,” I say. “What actually happened between you and Isla?”
Alana turns an hourglass over as we wait for it to get dark and the top deck to clear of day guests.
She sits on the bottom bunk with her legs crossed.
She rubs her hands up and down her thighs.
“I don’t just bring emotions out. I also sense them easier than other people.
That’s how I know what feelings to enhance.
” Her brow furrows. “I sensed when Isla’s feelings started to go away.
They got dimmer and dimmer until I confronted her. I didn’t try to work it out.”
I sit on the bunk beside her, creasing the fabric of her perfectly made bed.
She sighs. “Sometimes I wish I didn’t have this gift at all.”
I may not be an emotive, but the wave of relief coming from her—from saying it out loud—is tangible.
The mix of fear, sadness, and regret for something she cannot control makes me realize there’s nothing I can say.
I’ve felt it too. When Lysandra cries as I fail to bring back her son and when Mother cringes telling her friends what kind of Morphic I am.
I take her hands, squeezing them. “Don’t feel ashamed of being an emotive. What you do is beautiful.” I drop her hands quickly, before my own become cold and clammy.
“You know, I thought you would be stuck-up.” She shrugs. “I was kind of nervous to share my bunk with a lady of Credence.”
“And I was nervous to share a bunk with the best concierge on the Celestial.”
Her cheeks redden, but she shakes it off and grabs a slip of paper from the dresser. “I almost forgot. Someone left you a note under the door. I saw it early this afternoon.”
I unfold the note and read the elegant script twice in my head.
The nightmares aren’t real. You’re not the monster. Monsters don’t worry about what they are.
Ivander
Warmth spreads through my core before I can smother it. Alana watches me with a sly smile. “Who sent it?”
Heat creeps into my cheeks, and I turn my face from her.
Of course, he’s jaw-dropping on the silks and charming with the guests, but that’s not the side he shares with me.
I won’t let myself think about his brown eyes flecked with gold and the gentle cadence of his voice as he confides in me. He’s not what I’m on the Celestial for.
I shove the feelings down. Emotives are too adept at reading emotions. I sit in silence with Alana, waiting for the moment our guests fall asleep. Then we can go upstairs to a party, and I can forget it all.