Chapter 15
A mass of staff members gathers on the top deck of the Celestial for our own unofficial party.
Some Morphics flip into the circular pool while others sit on the side with their feet dangling as they sip drinks.
In the center of the deck, bartenders serve the crowd.
We’ve created a makeshift dance floor beside the bar, but many ignore it in favor of the lagoon perimeter around the ship.
Staff float in bioluminescent water that changes from orange to purple and back to blue with small, scaly sea dragons popping their noses up, ready to be ridden.
Tonight, we’re the guests, and no one can tell us we don’t belong up here.
The sound of violins and cellos reverberate across the deck, matching time with the angelic voice of one of Ivander’s fellow performers.
Illusives work their magic to muffle the perception of sound for any bosses who wander too close to the top deck.
They expend so much energy that they have to float in the pool in tubes or sit on the deck to recover.
Alana and I jump up and down on the dance floor, spilling our drinks.
I sip on a Kally Tonic in a tall glass. Its fruity bubbles float out of the drink and pop around my head, filling the air with a floral fragrance.
Alana’s Kalenar Sun Drop emits its own light.
Isla pulls Zora onto the floor with a powerful tug.
Zora wears a long, flowing white skirt with a floral top and her Riven Blossom necklace.
“Watch it,” she grumbles, saving her drink.
“Come on,” Isla yells back, blond curls bouncing in the night breeze. She wears a deep plum pantsuit with bronze fastenings. “Who knows how long we have before Ivander tells us it’s time to go to bed.”
Ivander presses his lips together as he watches us dance.
His eyes drift to each member of our group and linger on me.
I catch him staring, and he looks away. He clings to the bar, keeping a watchful eye over the crowd.
Over all of us. Niko stands beside him, effortlessly handsome with his black hair styled and a midnight-blue vest over his off-white tunic shirt.
He wears formal black trousers that might have been snagged from the Celestial ’s upscale lost and found.
It’s clear from his tugging on Ivander’s arm that he’s trying to get him on the dance floor, but Ivander sits, immobile, on the barstool. He wears the same black button-down and navy pants he wore on the first day I met him.
His gaze shifts from one end of the deck to the other, surveying the scene. He fought Isla on this idea until the sun went down. “If the bosses find out, there’s no telling what they’ll do to us. They can’t take our Morphia without reason,” he’d said. “So don’t give them one.”
As I dance with the girls, I feel like one of them. They laugh with me and share retellings of my greatest exploits with the bosses.
Isla erupts into peals of laughter. “Remember? Hold on, I can’t breathe.” She takes a breath. “Remember when Roe’s spirit decked Charmaine?”
We all laugh, even Alana. Zora nods to my drink. “You need a refill. Go tell Ivander the staring is creepy.”
I stride toward the bar with my drink cradled in one hand. Pushing through dancers, I stop next to Ivander and take the empty seat on his other side, earning an encouraging nod from Niko. “You glad you’re not the one mixing drinks tonight?” I ask him.
“Definitely,” Niko says. “I vastly prefer drinking them.” He squints at the dance floor. “I think Isla’s calling for me.” He pats Ivander’s shoulder and disappears into the crowd, ducking out of Ivander’s wild grab to keep him in his seat.
Giddiness from the dancing and the Lixor in my drink makes me bold. “Are you going to sit here all night?” I ask. “If you want me to go—”
“No,” Ivander blurts, hands curling into fists in his lap. “I don’t. I’m just worried I won’t be able to focus.”
My eyebrows arch as he avoids my eyes. “Am I really so distracting?”
He snorts under his breath. “You have no idea.”
This sends an electric jolt through my sternum that ends in my toes. I can tell he’s surprised he said it too. I place my drink on the bar and push it aside, now fully engrossed in this conversation. “Why are you here, then?”
“I’m keeping an eye out for the bosses. None of us get retrials if we’re dead.”
I want to laugh it off, but the furrow of his brow warns me he’s serious. His hunched shoulders and fidgeting fingers remind me he’s worried about us. All of us. Even me. He could leave this ship anytime he wants with the goodwill he garners from guests, but he doesn’t.
“When did I become one of the people you watch out for?” Although my tone is light, both of us know I’m not joking. He bites his lip, flustered.
His eyes take me apart, as if he’s trying to determine which version of Roe I truly am.
The spoiled lady of Credence who believes she deserves her retrial more than anyone else, or the girl who helps her friends and saves guests who would run from her spirits given the chance.
Then the sharp cut of his jaw relaxes and his brow softens, decision made.
He nods to the bow of the ship where it’s empty. “Will you walk with me?”
I hesitate but allow him to lead me to the bow of the ship. I know I’m safe with him. For better or worse, he’s one of the most protective people I’ve ever met. Even if his protectiveness pushes me away. Maybe I understand it more now, seeing how dangerous it can be aboard.
We’re alone here at the bow, surrounded by the night sky and a blanket of stars. The rolling lavender mist, rippling over midnight waves around the ship, glows silver in the darkness. I lean my bare back against the cool railing with my head turned toward Ivander.
I nod to the stars overhead. Their brilliant white light allows us to see in the dark.
“Back home in Credence, I used to spend nights in the woods with my brother. The stars looked like this between gaps in the trees.” I try to remember Leith’s easy smile, not the fact that he’s nothing more than a memory.
In the chaos of the past two weeks, I haven’t had much time to think about him.
Even after all this time, I feel guilty when I forget to think of him.
I fight to keep my breaths even. Maybe I shouldn’t risk sharing this with Ivander. Even if we both make it off this ship with our lives and our Morphia, will I ever see him again? After this, he might not want to socialize with a Damarcus.
He runs a hand over his hair and drags it down his angular face.
“You’re brave, Rosaline. I’ve wanted to tell you that for over a week now.
” The way he says my name sends a shiver down my spine.
Clear and intentional. Strong. My heartbeat thuds in my throat.
“You’re not afraid of the bosses, of the Celestial. ” He chuckles. “Not even of Asralyn.”
I snort. “Trust me, I’m scared all the time.”
“I know.” He bites his lip, as if he’s not articulating properly. “I know you may be scared, but you face things head-on. You adapt. I’m guessing you didn’t come here with your family’s support either.”
I’ve never considered myself brave. Not brave like Leith, sacrificing his life to serve the Hawks, or even brave like Eliza, always willing to speak her mind.
But maybe he’s right. I don’t know whether to be proud or scared of how far I’d go to get my retrial.
For a moment, I think about Father and Mother, even Eliza, and it makes my throat tight. I swallow hard.
“What about you?” I ask. “Was it hard for you to leave your family?”
Ivander opens his mouth several times only to shut it.
Maybe I’ve pushed too hard and asked for too much. I wait for the walls to come back, blocking me out again. His brow furrows. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked here. It might not be right to talk about in the middle of a deck party.
“Sorry. You don’t have to say anything to me you don’t want to.”
He doesn’t leave, though, and regards me with scrutinizing eyes that flash. “Who said I didn’t want to?”
Despite the yelling and splashing of bodies catapulting into pool water in the distance, it feels like the two of us are all alone out here on the water.
He blows out a long breath, picking at one of his silver nails.
“I—sometimes I feel like I have to take care of the others. Like they’re my responsibility.
” He runs a hand through his hair, biceps straining in the moonlight.
“With you, I never feel like that. I know you can handle yourself. But I feel a lot of pressure to stay strong for them. I guess I want you to know that I’m not strong. I … deserve to be here.”
The word deserve makes my shoulders tighten, but I wait for him to continue.
“My family and I lived in the province of Aryndar. Close to the capital.” His eyes dash to mine, then down to the deck. “My mother was a renowned theater performer and needed to live close to perform for the spokesperson at Alexandrite Estate. It was Malyk then too. He had her perform regularly.”
Ivander’s mother must have been even more talented than her son to perform at Alexandrite. Every five years, the council votes on one member to be the spokesperson for decisions. Father’s been after the appointment for years, but Spokesman Malyk has had it for decades.
Ivander grips the railing, taking a long breath of salty air.
“I would go with her a lot because Father runs a market stall in Aryndar. He couldn’t watch me while he was handling customers.
As I got older, Mother wanted me to come with her to learn.
She thought I’d follow in her footsteps onstage, but my mother wasn’t just a performer. She was a Morphic.”
He leans with his forearms resting on the railing. He emphasized the word was. My heart sinks with the realization that she’s either dead or without her magic.