47. Matteo
FORTY-SEVEN
MATTEO
Three Months Later
“There you are. I was wonderin’ when you were comin’ by. Did you bring them?”
I step into Marcy’s home, taking off my scarf and hanging it by her door. I hold up the tray in my hand and smile. “Just as requested.”
“Billy will be so happy,” she says with a clap of her hands. “He’s upstairs gettin’ ready for dinner. He should be done in a bit.”
I nod and make my way to her kitchen. I set down the tray of food I brought and make myself comfortable. It’s been a tough three months, but I’m just grateful Marcy’s given me this second chance.
It’s funny how things can change in just three months.
“Have you heard anything about Merv’s court date?” I ask. After that encounter at the General Store, Merv’s been behind bars waiting for his trial. It seems that on top of violating his parole, he had a long list of other crimes that went unnoticed for months. Now, it’s looking like he’s going to be away for a long time. And, even though it’s spiteful, I think it’s a good riddance for this community.
Marcy shakes her head. “Not too sure. Thankfully, the paperwork has come in and he’s already given up his parental rights. Either way, that poor boy doesn’t have to suffer through him again.”
I smile at that too. Marcy’s been incredible. It didn’t even take her a second to agree to foster Billy while all this madness was going on. She liked falling back into the role of a caretaker. “So, what happens now?”
Marcy shrugs. “I’d love to keep him, but I’m too old now to raise another child.” When I frown, she laughs. “Don’t worry, Father. I won’t let him go to just any family.”
I nod because Billy has been through so much and he deserves a family that’ll take care of him the way he should be. “Good. I’m here to help any way I can.”
“How’d it go today?” she asks as she grabs some plates.
“Good. We had a good turnout, but you know that’s all I can tell you.”
That’s another thing that’s changed in the last three months. After what happened with Merv, I took a hard look at myself. It wasn’t easy, but I knew things needed to change. I needed to become the man I was. Maybe not even that. I needed to grow .
And I haven’t had a sip of alcohol since.
Now what I do is run an AA group three times a week for others like me, hoping maybe I can give back just a little bit of the peace I’m still trying to find myself. But the burning of the three-month chip in my pocket gives me faith.
Marcy grins. She comes over to me, sitting beside me, and reaches for my hand. “I’m proud of you, Father. It isn’t easy what you’re doin’.”
“No, it definitely isn’t,” I chuckle, but I sober when I remember what I also came here to do. “I have to make amends to those I’ve hurt. Marcy, I’m?—”
She shakes her head and waves away my words. “Sugar, there was never a reason to apologize to me. Although, I’ll let you know right now how much I appreciate it.”
I nod. I want to say more, I really do, but the understanding on her face speaks louder than words ever could. I try to return that look. The one that promises that things are different now, and I can only hope she understands too. “I guess that’s one name I can cross off my list.”
“Who else you got?”
“Just two more.”
Jacob .
The first one I hurt. The man I loved who I gave false hope. It’s been years, but I’ve been wondering recently how he’s been doing. I can just hope he’s happy and healthy and living the life he deserves. Still, I never apologized for the part I played in the hurt we both shared.
Then there’s…
Theo.
The second one I hurt. The man I still love whose world I destroyed. It’s been almost a year, but there hasn’t been a day where I haven’t thought about him. I think the same of him as I do of Jacob. I hope that he’s living his life to the fullest. I hope he and Clara have found their inner peace and rebuilt what we broke together.
Wanting him to be happy, wanting him to have moved on… None of it means that I haven’t thought of him every single day.
“You can do it,” Marcy encourages, squeezing my head. “I believe in you. Have you made your decision?”
I shake my head. The decision that I might?—
“Matteo!”
Billy’s happy cry knocks me out of my thoughts and gives me a reprieve from the problem that’s been plaguing me since I got sober again. He rushes down the stairs, and I stand to meet him. He runs into my body and hugs my center. “Did you bring the arepas?”
I laugh at his enthusiasm. Sunday morning arepas have become a tradition of ours now. “Absolutely! What do you say? Ham or cheese?”
With a joy that’s only been evident since Marcy took him in, he laughs. “Both! Duh!”
I chuckle as we all gather around the table and say Grace. We have a good time, laughing and eating. Billy tells us about how he’s doing in school, proudly talking about the top grade he got on his math test last week. Marcy makes plans for the three of us to head to Cheyenne next week.
And the decision plagues my mind. But, for now, everything is good.
I wouldn’t have it any other way.