Chapter 27
ALEX
broken | lovelytheband
Tendrils of Sarah’s long, dark hair grazed Alex’s arm, wrapped around her waist. It was one of the many aspects of her entirely overwhelming his senses. She looked like a dream—all big, smoky eyes and dark, pillowy lips. The sandalwood perfume that haunted his olfactory glands was real and present, lingering in all the places he touched her. The wine at dinner had loosened her voice into something deep and throaty, igniting his body each time she spoke. And beyond the brush of her hair, he never wanted to move his hand, caught as it was between the smooth satin of her dress and the smooth skin of her arm. Not to mention, she glided through the gallery, delighting each person he introduced her to—including a dealer based in Soho who was looking for new talent and a journalist from an independent art publication who loved an up-and-comer story—with the same blunt tone and biting wit he adored having directed at him.
‘There I thought I was special,’ he whispered in her ear, as he led her towards the bar. ‘Turns out you’re like this with everyone.’
‘Of course you’re special, Aleksander.’ Sarah sighed. ‘A special kind of annoying.’
‘Now that’s no good,’ Alex murmured, his lips brushing the skin of her neck. ‘How ever will you make everyone believe you’re madly in love with me if you talk to me like that?’
Sarah’s breath hitched as she swivelled her head and found him already in close proximity to her face. But she recovered quickly, pushing herself up until she spoke into the hollow behind his jaw. ‘You know how convincing I can be. I think I’ll manage.’
‘You know,’ Alex started, then swallowed heavily, ‘we could do this ag—’
‘Is that her?’ Sarah interrupted, nodding at someone behind him.
Alex didn’t turn. He didn’t need to see Leah. They’d met at an event like this. Had attended dozens together while they were dating. She’d be wearing cream, navy, or tan. Her hair slicked back into a high ponytail. Sharp eye makeup. Bright red lipstick. Wafting through the room like a queen entering her court. ‘Does she look simultaneously like the kind of woman who knows what a lobster fork is and like she could kill you with one?’
Peeking over his shoulder again, Sarah nodded. ‘That is a bizarrely effective description.’
More to the point, he didn’t want to see Leah. Not if it meant shifting his focus from Sarah, and the strand of hair she was letting him twirl through his fingers. The situation needed to be played carefully. One false move, and Sarah would realise what the night really was: a pathetic excuse to be close to her. Seeing the ex who cheated on you was never fun, exactly, but Leah was such ancient history to him that he felt little need to show her how happy he was without her.
But the opportunity to spend the evening with his arm around Sarah? Having an excuse to kiss her cheek when he brought her a drink? A whole evening to let him pretend she could be his?
Those were the real reasons for his terms of the bargain.
Leah was just a convenient cover story.
When Sarah leaned into his neck again, it was the closest his knees had ever come to buckling. ‘If you want to make her jealous,’ she said softly, touching his hand and sliding it low on her hip. ‘I think we can do better.’
He wondered how well she remembered their first meeting all those months before. If she recalled that he’d said almost exactly the same words to her then.
After Leah locked eyes with him, her mouth opening in surprise, but before the crowd parted enough to allow her to reach them, Sarah pulled him towards a dark corner in the furthest reaches of the gallery. The coloured lights of that area’s installation pulsed over them while she slid her hands up his chest—he had to hold back a moan—and pulled Alex towards her by his collar.
In the weeks they’d been hooking up, he kissed her countless times. But until that last one in her living room, they’d all been messy clashes of teeth and tongues fighting for dominance. Hands roved, squeezing and stroking. They were a world away from that now, as Sarah allowed him to explore her mouth slowly and carefully.
Alex knew why he’d asked her to pretend for the night. But for the first time, he let himself hope she’d agreed for the same reasons. He’d tried to say it earlier. That they could keep doing this. She could continue meeting people who would further her career; he could continue to adore her. The fantasy that if he could get her to spend time with him beyond the wedding, she would let this become real might destroy him if it didn’t come true.
Until they broke apart, Alex hadn’t realised how quickly this could well and truly fuck him up. Because the woman of his dreams was staring up at him with a soft, small smile, and he had no way of knowing if that was still part of the act or not.
‘Do you want to get out of here?’ he asked, fingers still buried in her thick, silky mass of hair. ‘We’ve seen the whole exhibit. You’ve met everyone important.’
‘You haven’t seen your friend yet,’ she reminded him.
Each time he’d sought out Chase, he’d been surrounded by a gaggle of admirers and journalists. Now Alex was angry at himself for not shouldering his way through the crowds earlier.
‘You know what? We’re not that close.’
Sarah laughed, and the husky tone skittered across his skin, warming him straight to his bones. ‘Find him, congratulate him, then meet me outside. I need to get some air anyway.’
‘Fine,’ Alex grumbled, leaning to catch her lips in another achingly soft kiss, grateful again that he’d engineered a situation where he was allowed to do that. He saw them becoming his favourite kind.
Chase was easy to spot, the contrast between his white buzz cut and dark skin standing out among a gaggle of what could only be art students. Alex had no qualms about pushing through them .
His friend’s retro glasses frames bumped Alex’s face when he pulled him in for a hug. ‘Alex! Thanks for coming, man. I wondered, with the Leah thing…but you two are okay now, right?’
As far as their mutual friends knew, they’d split amicably after growing apart. Not because Leah had traded Alex in for someone more available, who she had further replaced two weeks later, if her social media was to be believed.
‘We’re fine.’ They hadn’t spoken in two years, somehow managing to avoid being in the same place at the same time, despite their overlapping circles. ‘I’m actually seeing someone. Maybe.’ Alex shook his head, then continued, ‘The show’s great. This is some of your best work.’
Ignoring the compliment, a delighted grin broke across his friend’s face as they stepped away from six very disappointed groupies. ‘You haven’t had something serious in ages. Is she here? I need to meet her.’
The urge to scratch the back of his head struck again, but since Chase wasn’t the person he was trying to impress with his apparently secretly soft insides, Alex clamped it down.
‘It’s been casual. I’m hoping it won’t be much longer. She’s right…’ Alex trailed off as he turned towards the large glass windows fronting the gallery and saw Sarah shoving away a scrawny guy holding a camera. ‘ Fuck. I have to go.’
He was already dodging other guests on his way out when he responded to Chase’s shouted, ‘Let’s grab a drink this week!’ with a wave of his hand.
‘Princess,’ he murmured, sliding between Sarah and the guy, who abruptly stopped talking when faced with Alex’s back. ‘Are you okay?’ She wasn’t. The toughest woman he knew was standing in front of him with tears brimming in her eyes, even if her jaw had that defiant tilt he loved. ‘Did he hurt you?’
‘He—’ Her voice was quiet, so much that Alex had to crane in to hear her next words. ‘That’s my ex.’
Now that she said it, the cheating little slimeball did look vaguely familiar. Without a word, Alex took her wrist, but they hadn’t gone more than a few steps before a hand appeared on Sarah’s shoulder, pulling her back roughly.
‘Actually, man, we were having a conversation—’
Even his voice was pathetic, but Alex was only half aware of it, too busy whirling around to grab the little weasel by his shirt. He— Sarah had said his name earlier… George? Grant? Gregg. That was it —had given up the right to any interest in Sarah’s life when he decided to start sticking his dick elsewhere. At least he had the sense to look slightly scared.
‘Listen to me, you human sack of shit,’ Alex hissed. ‘If you touch her again, I’ll—’
‘What, pretty boy? You’ll kill me? Amusement painted his face now, a taunting sound creeping into his voice. So he didn’t have as much sense as he’d appeared to.
Alex let a cruel smile tilt at his lips, so different to the picture of charm he’d perfected. ‘Oh no. I’d get my pretty hands dirty, and this face wouldn’t do well in jail. Besides, that’s the easy way out for you. You’re a photographer, right? You cover a lot of these events? I have friends, and I have money. And unfortunately for you, that means I have some degree of influence in spaces like this. If I hear that you have so much as mentioned her name, I will personally ensure the only gigs you can get are photographing children’s birthday parties. Are we clear?’
‘You’d derail someone’s career for that bit—’
And Alex, who had been trying to get through the situation without violence—more violence, at least—aimed a heavy blow at Gregg’s cheek. Pulling him back in close, Alex spat, ‘Call her that again. I dare you.’
Gregg’s eyes widened, his face visibly paler in the bright lights shining out the front end of the gallery. He was scared or smart enough not to speak, but apparently not smart enough not to punch someone significantly bigger than him, as the hand not holding his camera came up in a fist to Alex’s face, hitting him surprisingly hard on the left side of his mouth.
The second time Alex punched him, he dropped his shirt as the hit landed, sending Gregg sprawling on the pavement. Alex crouched beside him, holding Gregg’s shoulder down with one hand to stop him rising. ‘The difference between you and me,’ he said, quietly enough that Sarah wouldn’t hear, ‘is that I would do anything for her. Go back down into the sewer you climbed out of before I hit you again.’
Heels clicked behind him, and a pair of soft, warm hands wrapped around his forearm. ‘Aleksander. People are staring. Aleksander, look at me.’ Sarah crouched beside him, the whites of her eyes showing around those beautiful whiskey-coloured irises. A teardrop lingered halfway down her cheek. ‘He’s not worth it. Let’s go.’
He allowed himself to be led down the street. They didn’t exchange another word until they were in the car.
‘Are you okay?’ he asked.
‘You’re bleeding.’ Sarah’s voice was hoarse.
He had felt the cut on his lip almost instantly, but only noticed the cracks on his knuckles when he stretched his hand around the steering wheel.
‘I’m fine. Are. You. Okay? I’m not driving until you answer me.’ And if that answer wasn’t a resounding fucking yes, he was going to head right back and do something that might actually end that weasel.
‘He didn’t hurt me,’ Sarah said. ‘He was just being a dick.’ Cold trickled down Alex’s spine when she continued, ‘He’s covering the show for ArTime . He said he’d been watching me for the last hour, while you introduced me to important people. Then he saw us kiss, and he— He asked if I’m fucking you to make connections.’ If nothing else, her tone suggested she was coming back to herself, as did her harsh laugh. ‘But he knew exactly where to aim his blows. There were times he suggested I was doing the same with him.’
Alex tightened his hand again, letting the pain chase his anger. ‘It is a very good thing you didn’t tell me that an hour ago.’
‘Just take me home, Aleksander.’
God, he didn’t want to let her out of his sight. ‘Yeah. Abby and Erik are staying there tonight, so you won’t be alone.’
They were staying there because he’d asked them to. Because he’d been anticipating taking Sarah back to his house after a magical evening. Maybe convincing her to talk in front of the fire until they figured out what the hell they were.
‘No,’ she said softly, facing out the window again. ‘Your place. You were defending me. The least I can do is patch you up.’
Thirty minutes later, Sarah stood between Alex’s legs in his kitchen, antiseptic-coated cotton ball in hand. Celine lay on the floor next to him, her head resting on his feet. It was a twisted form of what he’d been desperate for, but he was pathetic enough to be intoxicated by Sarah’s nearness anyway.
He winced when she swiped the ball over his skin.
‘I don’t like violence. And I don’t want you getting hurt for me.’ Her eyes were laser-focused on his hand as she unrolled a bandage over his knuckles.
‘He was asking for it,’ Alex said, with less bite than he’d expected. ‘He called you a—’
‘I know. It’s not like it was the first time.’
Fire licked under every inch of Alex’s skin. ‘I can’t believe that scrawny piece of shit thought he could do better than you.’
‘I mean, the woman modelled for Agent Provocateur. I think most people would say he traded up.’ A wry half smile bloomed as she looked up at him. And quickly faded when she saw his deeply unimpressed face.
‘You know her name?’
Sarah nodded.
‘Show me.’
Brows furrowed, she pulled out her phone and handed it to him after a few taps on the screen. The model’s Instagram was pulled up, and as he’d expected, she had nothing on the woman in front of him. A sample-sized, evenly proportioned body and a pretty face, sure, but generically so.
Alex snorted. ‘Idiot.’
Pausing in her repacking of his first aid kit, Sarah stiffened. ‘I realise I’m not exactly a lingerie model, but I haven’t heard any complaints about my body while you’ve been merrily fucking—’
Shooting out his hand, Alex stopped her as she tried to put distance between them. ‘Not you. Him. She doesn’t hold a candle to you.’
That little dent reappeared between her eyebrows.
‘You really have no idea, do you? You act so confident, but you don’t actually see it. You are spectacular .’ He pulled her even closer, sliding his hand around her waist while he buried his face in her neck, letting his hiding spot give him the bravery he needed to open up to her. ‘You are so beautiful. Your body is incredible. Do you want details? I can give you details. Maybe next time we break out the handcuffs, I’ll restrain you and make you listen while I tell you how much I like every. Single. Part of you.’
Sarah’s whispered fuck barely broke through his consciousness as his words flowed freely. Beyond his control.
‘For now I’ll say that I love how fucking soft you are. So soft on the outside, but strong inside. But even with all that toughness, you’re thoughtful. Caring. Every time Abby’s asked for wedding stuff, you’ve dropped whatever you have going on to help. She’s told me other things too. How you’ve been there for her over the years, even when she wasn’t in a place to be a good friend to you. And you’re funny . I laugh a lot. It’s part of the image. But you…you make me laugh in a way I didn’t know I could anymore. And don’t get me started on how insanely talented you are.’ He let a moment pass, indulging in the flutter of her pulse against his skin, and now he was ready to kill her scumbag ex for allowing her to spend even one second feeling anything less than extraordinary. ‘Drunk confession?’
She nodded, acquiescing to their secret sharing from so early on, even though she had to know he was far from drunk. After one glass of wine at the restaurant, he’d switched to water at the gallery so he could drive them home. He wondered how long it would be before she realised how much he treasured this. How much he needed those moments of real connection between them.
Moving his head so he could see her, he stared into the stunning eyes he’d already fallen so hard for. ‘I’m really angry at myself for letting that loser split my lip open. I want to kiss you so fucking badly.’
Sarah’s expression opened, the hardness she often directed at him melting away. Then she leaned in and pressed a feather-light kiss to the corner of his mouth that hadn’t been hit. It was achingly gentle, and for a second, he believed she could feel the same tenderness for him as he did for her. And even though she’d rejected him the first time he’d asked, told him it wasn’t something they did, he couldn’t help asking her again. ‘It’s late. Do you want to spend the night? I’ll feel better knowing you’re not trying to get home by yourself.’
Indecision was clear on Sarah’s face.
Alex flexed his hand on her waist, eyes focused on her neck. ‘This isn’t me trying to seduce you after the night you’ve had. You take my bed, if you’re happy to share with Celine. I have a pullout sofa in my office. I can crash in there. Just…stay.’
Gentle fingers carded through his hair, lifting his face until their eyes met. ‘Okay.’