19. Shiloh
Chapter 19
Shiloh
Cole watches TV and plays with my hair mindlessly while I work on my first crochet project.
“What are you making exactly?” Cole asks.
“Matching Eagles beanies for all of us.”
A grin spreads over his face. “Jonah will love it.”
I smile back. “I figured if I made it, there's no way he could say no to wearing it.”
“What devious behavior. You know, we could easily get a box for a game. Your Gran can come, anyone else you’d like to invite too.”
I can’t help the blush that creeps its way up my neck. “I don’t have many friends. I mean, I did before I moved out west and then it’s hard to hold on to long distance friendships.”
“What about in LA?”
I shrug, feeling embarrassed over the fact I have to tell the Alpha I’m seeing—that’s courting me—that I have literally no real friends. It’s the biggest red flag out there, but it’s not because I didn’t want close friendships, I just closed myself off.
“To be honest, Jonah and Mack are my only friends. I’m not judging, I promise. People are fucking annoying,” Cole says, and I know he’s just trying to make me feel better.
“Maybe I could reach out to some of my old friends if we do get a box?” I say, though there’s no way I would reach out to them after the way I left everything behind to go to LA.
“Perfect, I’ll set it up,” he says, leaning down and kissing me softly.
I place my project on my lap and kiss him back. It feels so nice being kissed when I’m not in a frantic state. I’m able to feel the excitement in my stomach and savor the press of his lips against mine. He’s kissing me even harder when a timer goes off and he groans against my mouth.
“Fuck, I’ve got to go. I’ve got a meeting with my lawyer,” he says against my lips and I know he doesn’t want to leave.
It’s a heady feeling knowing that he wants to be around me, that if he had the choice he would sit here with me in domestic bliss for the rest of the night.
I bite my bottom lip. “How much trouble are you in?”
“Luckily, by some miracle, no one pulled the black box, so there was no cockpit recording. The airline is suing me, however, I’m sure we’ll get it settled out of court. I don’t want you to worry about it.”
I shift my leg so that I’m completely facing him.
“Is there anything I can do? Give a statement? Something?”
“I’ll let my lawyer know you’re willing to help, but seriously, I don’t want you to worry about it. It was my choice to bring you to the cockpit. I deserve the consequences.”
“They can’t take your license away, can they?”
“No, I don’t think it will go that far. It’s a shitty airline, they just want money. It will be fine, Shiloh. I promise.”
“Okay, but promise me you’ll tell me if there’s something I can do.”
“I promise,” he says, kissing me one last time. “Mack’s home, but if you need anything, you can call me or Jonah.”
He grabs his keys and heads downstairs and I’m left in the living room alone. I turn off what Cole was watching and look around the space. I know they haven’t left for good, that they’re coming back, but there’s still this deep-rooted fear of being alone.
While Mack seemed totally on board about courting me, he hasn’t been around much. Maybe it’s my abandonment issues rearing their ugly head, or maybe it’s my curiosity about my mysterious possible pack mate, but I find myself scooting to the elevator and hitting the button for the level the offices are on.
It’s quiet, until I get down to the end of the hallway and I can hear Mack speaking to someone.
Is there someone in his fucking room? I can only hear Mack’s side of the conversation and realize he must be on a phone call. A normal person would leave and come back later, but my curiosity and maybe a dash of jealousy is eating away at me.
Like the stupid needy Omega I am, I knock on his door. He mumbles something as his feet pad across the door.
“Shiloh?” he says, leaving his room and shutting the door behind him.
Could mean anything, right?
“You’re busy, I’m sorry. I can come back later,” I say, ready to roll away as fast as my little scooter will take me.
“Are you okay? Do you need something?”
“Jonah’s at work, and Cole had a meeting with his lawyer.”
He scratches the back of his neck, and I can’t help but to actually look at him now. He’s wearing a black shirt and green plaid pajama bottoms. His feet are completely bare. Is there a nefarious reason he didn’t want me in his room?
“It’s not a big deal,” I say, as my one working leg takes me back to the elevator as quick as I can.
“Wait. Fuck. Wait,” he says, holding the elevator door open, which makes the thing make an angry beeping noise. “Will you please come back into the hallway so we can talk?”
He said please, so I do as he asks and the elevator door shuts behind me.
“I told you, I’m no good at this shit. I’m…uh I’m working too.”
“You stream, right?” I ask, not totally sure what that means, just a general concept.
“Right, but I don’t think we’ve talked about what that means,” he says, his cheeks flushing and I realize that I make this super hot Alpha nervous.
“Okay, what does it mean?” I ask, pushing my scooter close to the wall, I need to sit down soon.
Mack looks down at my leg and must realize the same thing.
“Do you want to come and see? There’s just one thing, I think it’s better that you make sure you’re out of frame of the camera.”
My eyebrows furrow and I’m brought back to all the events I was actually invited to go to with Smash Knot. Photographers would tell me to get out of the shot. Hell, even Nick would tell me to stand in the corner and wait till they were done, he never wanted me there. I didn’t think Mack would be more of the same bullshit.
“That’s okay, I’ll just work on my project in the living room.”
“I’m fucking this up,” Mack says, putting his hands in his pajama pockets. “I have six million followers and, to be honest, some of them are pretty bat shit insane. The idea of them talking about you or hounding you because you’re associated with me doesn’t sit right.”
I lick my lips and have some understanding. Isn’t my inbox filled with tons of rude and intrusive questions because of my association with Smash Knot?
This is one of those times communication is important.
“I don’t want to be a secret.”
Mack’s arm reaches out, and he grabs my hand. “Secret and private are two different things. Let me get your project and you can work on it in my office. You can get an idea of what I’m talking about, okay?”
“Okay,” I agree, even though I’m leary.
He leads me down the hall and opens his office door. The space is relatively boyish with a modern flare. He has a large desk with his multiple monitors set up. The wall behind him is three dimensional, with slick black hexagons. He has some shelves that house a few awards, lego builds, and photographs. There are a few plants over by the window and hanging on the ceiling, as well as a massive plant by his desk. But what really catches my eye, and what Mack leads me to is a massive bean bag chair. I’m not even sure you could call it that. It could easily seat five people.
“Is this going to be okay with your leg?” he says in a whisper, and I glance over at where his computer is.
There’s a paper on his chair that says ‘be right back’.
I nod, and Mack holds out a hand, helping me on to the giant pillow. It’s cozier than I could imagine. It sucks you in just the right amount; it’s comforting. Mack grabs a few dark green pillows and lays them down in a way so I can prop up my leg.
“Where’s your project?” he asks.
“On the couch,” I reply, using the same volume he is.
Mack hasn’t done anything to make me believe he’s anything like my old pack and it’s important that I give him a shot to prove who he is, and not persecute him for crimes he hasn’t committed.
I wish my leg wasn’t in a cast or I’d fully be walking around and snooping, instead I just look at what I can. The two main photos he has are of him and his brother. It looks like it’s from when Cole graduated from Air Force bootcamp. Mack must have still been in high school or middle school. The other photo is of him, Cole, and Jonah, all dressed in tuxedos, somewhat smiling.
It’s cute, and I kind of want a copy of it for myself.
His awards are too far away for me to read the inscription. I nestle myself further into this giant cushion and decide I really like Mack’s office. In some ways, it almost reminds me of a nest, with the dimmed lights and cozy nature.
Mack re-enters the room, shutting his door behind him. He has my crochet project, a bottle of water, and a bag of pretzels for me. I take them all with a small smile.
“Let me know if you need anything else.”
“Aren’t they not supposed to hear me?” I respond, probably coming across more bratty than I want.
It’s the needy, desperate Omega deep inside of me. I can’t help myself.
He gets down on his haunches and really stares at me, almost to where I feel uncomfortable. I want to break our little stare down, but I also won’t be the one to cave first.
“Your last pack hid you?” he asks, though it almost feels more like a statement.
I give him a quick sign of agreement and he grabs my hand, kissing the pulse point of my wrist.
“Okay,” he says.
Okay? Okay, what?
My brows furrow as I watch him walk back over to his desk, removing the piece of paper and sitting in his chair. He grabs his headset off its stand and places it on his head. He leaves his left ear uncovered so he can hear me.
“I’m back. Sorry about that. I needed to get my Omega situated,” he says with a tilt of his lips, glancing at me.
I can see his screen, though I can’t read the small chat box. I doubt he can read the chatter either with how quickly it’s coming in. But it’s evident his viewers are losing their fucking minds.
“If you don’t have anything kind to say, you will be booted,” Mack reiterates, and I smile to myself. “ If she makes an appearance, it will be after we’ve discussed it thoroughly, but my private life is private.”
It all makes a lot more sense now and I’m able to take a relieving breath. There’s a difference between being private and being a secret. Mack is letting his fan base know he’s taken, while also protecting me and himself.
I wonder how much he gives to his fans, and how nice it must be to have some things he can just have for himself. My issue with my last pack wasn’t really about being hidden away as much as it was about how they treated me in private.
Mack goes back to playing his game, and it’s a lot easier than I imagined tuning out his gaming chatter. Now and then, he answers some questions, but mostly he’s just playing his game. People really pay to watch other people play games like this?
I keep working on my project, but at some point my eyes get heavier. I’m lulled by Mack’s voice and his thick peppermint scent and being cocooned by the best piece of furniture that was ever made.