Chapter Thirteen
Jude
When I happened to glance up at the sound of footsteps and my eyes landed on Kendall’s curls, every cell in my body fired, like an engine revving. Elsa was talking with her, and as soon as they came in, my mom followed.
“Kendall!” She gave her a big hug. My mom adored Kendall. I sensed she had known far longer than I wished that I had a crush on Kendall.
Somebody snapped their fingers, the sound bringing my attention back. Asher waggled his brows. “Always distracted with her.”
“What do you mean?” I hedged.
Haven chuckled.
“Kendall,” was all Asher said.
I rolled my eyes, trying to play it cool. “She’s my friend.”
“Uh-huh,” Asher drawled.
I narrowed my eyes. “What’s with this?”
“What’s with what?” Haven chimed in.
“You guys reacting to me just looking over because Kendall walked into the room.”
My older brother let out a sigh, clapping me on the shoulder. “Love you, man. Some-fucking-day you will face your feelings.”
Asher snorted, and I just rolled my eyes, relieved when Tommy came skidding into the kitchen. He almost collided with our mom.
She reached out a hand to steady him on the shoulder. “Slow down, hon.”
“Sorry, Grandma. What’s for dinner?” he asked.
“It’s always about the food with this one,” Haven said dryly.
“I’m hungry and it’s dinnertime. Shouldn’t we be hungry for dinner?” Tommy asked practically.
“We absolutely should.” I smiled down at him, reaching out to ruffle his hair. “Kind of miss your purple hair, dude.”
Tommy let out a heartfelt sigh. “It was high maintenance.”
Elsa approached and stopped beside me, letting out a bemused laugh. “High maintenance?”
Tommy nodded, running his fingers through his short, brown hair. “Yeah. I mean, I had to keep the purple up, and I only liked it when it was bright purple. I didn’t like it when it faded.” He shrugged, letting out a put-upon sigh. “Maintenance, you know.”
Kendall stopped beside Elsa, grinning down at Tommy. “I do know. That’s why I do this.” She pointed to her curls spun up in their usual ponytail.
Tommy nodded solemnly. “I understand. I’m going to keep my hair short for the rest of my life. No more dyeing, no more anything that I have to style.”
“If you change your mind, I’ll help you dye it again,” Elsa offered.
When I glanced over, every other voice around us faded because Kendall was standing right there. She was so pretty, and all I could think about was kissing her again. I now had two kisses to replay in my thoughts. Over and over and over again. She looked a little bashful when her gaze met mine.
Our mom whistled, and we all immediately spun toward the table. It was as if we were a flock of birds, circling back together.
A few minutes later, we were seated. Tommy had said grace, and we were all diving into the food.
Turned out, Kendall ended up seated beside me.
Initially, Asher had claimed that seat, but when Kendall came walking over, he’d gotten up and said, “You take my seat. Jude’s your bestie, so you might as well be the one to give him a little hell during dinner. ”
“Hell for what?” I countered.
“I don’t know, eating too fast? Chewing with your mouth open?” Asher teased.
“I’m the only one who does that,” Tommy announced, seriously and honestly.
Our mom shook her head as she smiled over at him. “We are working on that.”
“I am working on it, but I forget,” Tommy said as he promptly stuffed a giant mouthful of food in.
“These fajitas are amazing,” Kendall piped up.
Tommy grinned. “I didn’t do the cooking tonight, but I did all the prep work and I made the marinade for the chicken.”
“Can you spell ‘marinade’?” Elsa asked.
“M-A-R-I-N-A-D-E,” Tommy promptly offered.
She gave him a high five. Aside from cooking, Tommy was on a roll lately. He’d won three spelling bees at school.
Dinner carried on in its usual fashion with conversations about everybody’s day, and lately, much conversation about the status of scheduling guided trips and the like for the groups visiting Heartfire Falls.
“Any updates on Lincoln’s plans?” my mom asked.
“I called him, just like I said I would,” I offered. “He told me he was planning on moving back soon.”
Although my mother acted like it wasn’t a big deal, we all knew she’d been stressed, just like all of us, and worried about when Lincoln might come home. Because it was anybody’s guess.
That’s a funny thing about big families. It wasn’t like she was short on company, or any of us, for that matter. But when someone was missing in the family, their absence loomed large. Adding in the loss of our father and sister, Lincoln being gone echoed with an ache sometimes.
“Where is he now?” Haven asked, glancing up.
“Somewhere outside Fairbanks. That’s all I know,” I offered.
Our mom twisted her mouth to the side. “I hope he’s home soon.”
“If he enjoys being a hotshot full-time, maybe that’s what he’ll keep doing,” Asher said, younger and a little less sensitive to the emotional undercurrents in our family.
I noticed Kendall looking at our mom, a tiny furrow between her brows, and worry flickering in her eyes. That was Kendall, always worrying about others. I loved that she knew my mom well enough to know why it pained her for Lincoln to be gone this long.
My mom looked straight at Asher, narrowing her eyes. “It isn’t that. I want to know he’s okay. I would hope you all do. He’s hurting.”
Asher looked abashed. “Sorry, Mom. I know. I want him to be okay too.”
Tommy didn’t seem to be paying much attention to the conversation and cut in to announce the most challenging word in the spelling bee at school today. The change of topic was a relief. I wanted Lincoln home too, but dwelling on it didn’t seem to be making it happen faster.
Having Kendall seated right beside me was a special kind of torture.
Since I’d seen her this afternoon, after our kiss in the barn, she’d changed and maybe showered since there was a shower in the staff area for the rescue program.
She looked fresh-cheeked and pretty and smelled a little bit like flowers.
I wanted to lean close and breathe her in.
I wanted to taste her all over. It felt as if there were a force field around us, the air snapping with electricity.
“How was your afternoon?” I heard myself asking, instantly chastising myself for the stilted question.
Her thick, curly lashes lifted to mine.
“Weren’t you over at the rescue barn this afternoon?” Tommy cut in. “Obviously, you know how she is.”
I cleared my throat and felt the eyes of my brothers on me. Every single one of them was practically salivating at the idea of teasing me. I was starting to wonder just how obvious it had been to everybody but Kendall just how bad I had it for her.
“I was, but you know how it is over there. One minute the goats can be quietly eating, and the next they can be wreaking havoc and knocking things over,” I said lightly.
Tommy nodded somberly, like a mini adult. “I do know. Just the other day, Dolly ate my tennis shoes. I put them by the door because I needed to put my boots on to go out and help with the feeding. It was a little muddy. She destroyed one whole shoe.”
“Well, I’m sure you’ll grow out of those within a week, so I’ll get you a new pair,” Haven cut in dryly.
Elsa grinned, her eyes warm. Blessedly, attention shifted away from me and Kendall.