Chapter Fourteen
Jude
After we finished eating, and my mom was talking about something to do with the schedule, I couldn’t resist sliding my hand onto Kendall’s knee.
Now that I’d been able to kiss her—not once, but twice—now that I knew maybe she wanted the same thing I did, the relief of being able to actually touch her was immense.
Except, of course, her knee was warm. At the mere hint of her body heat, my own body reacted.
Everything tightened, and I felt my arousal swelling.
“Jude,” she whispered under her breath.
Sliding my palm up a little, I squeezed her thigh because I couldn’t help it. She swatted my hand away. When I glanced over and saw her pink cheeks, it was all I could do not to kiss her right then and there.
“Jude.” Tommy’s voice broke through the haze in my brain.
I whipped my gaze over to him. “Yeah?”
Tommy let out a belabored sigh. “Can I go with you?”
“For what?”
“You’re going ice climbing, and I’ve never gone.”
I quickly deduced I’d missed the details of a scheduled ice-climbing trip. I glanced toward Haven, and he didn’t say anything, but I knew his look well. The answer to Tommy’s question was negative.
“Look, Tommy, ice climbing’s pretty risky. This isn’t something you’re going to want to do right now,” I explained.
“Can I just watch?” he pressed. He looked toward Haven this time. “What? I can’t even watch? Why?”
“Which trip is this?” I asked.
“The one next week,” Haven explained. “You’re doing a day hike up to that ice climbing spot above the falls.” He paused, his gaze sliding to Tommy. “You can go, but only if you promise to watch and do everything Jude says.”
“Oh, it’s about an hour in. It shouldn’t be too difficult for the hike,” I said, glancing toward Tommy. “It’s kind of cold to watch. If you want to go, you cannot get in the way of any of the customers coming with us.”
“I won’t. I promise.” He looked toward his dad, and Haven nodded.
“Then, it’s a deal. I’ll make sure you are bundled up warm,” I replied.
“You’re going to feel like a miniature puffball with your down coat,” Elsa teased.
We eventually started cleaning up, and Kendall began to leave. I practically sprinted to catch up to her, reaching her just as she got to the main doors.
“What is it?” she asked.
“I’m coming over. I’ll drive you home.”
“Jude, I drove here—” she began.
I narrowed my eyes. “Kendall, we have to talk. I’ll give you a ride in the morning.”
“Okay.” She bit her lip.
In short order, we’d said our goodbyes, and I ignored the sly looks from my brothers. Once we were in my truck, I started to doubt this whole thing. I didn’t want to screw this up.
“What are you thinking?” she said from my side.
I briefly slid my gaze over before focusing on the road again. “I’m starting to worry that we could fuck our whole friendship up.”
“You’re worried, now?” she cut in, her tone sarcastic.
I took a slow breath. I understood her frustration.
“Kendall, you’re my best friend.”
“And, you’re mine.”
I wasn’t thinking when I reached over, searching for her hand. She laced her fingers in mine. Connecting with her simple touch grounded me and slowed the spinning inside my chest.
There were so many things I loved about being part of a big family, but sometimes I could feel lost in it.
Ever since our father had died, and I’d been the one to find him that day, collapsed on the ground, it felt like I’d let everybody down.
All through that, even now, Kendall seemed to understand, to see me in a way that nobody else did. Which was why this was so heavy.
Because if I screwed it up—if we screwed it up—I’d be losing the person most important to me. I couldn’t bear that. I’d break my own heart.
The rest of the drive was quiet. After I parked and we walked up to her apartment together, I could have taken that moment to slow this down. But I didn’t.
Kendall’s eyes met mine just as she put her hand on her doorknob and turned it. Curling one hand over hers, I placed my other palm on the door and pushed it open.
As soon as we were inside, she released my hand out of necessity. She hung her jacket up and slipped her feet out of her boots. I followed suit, because it felt like we were on a track. I had to simply see it through to wherever it took us.
She twisted her hands together as she turned to look up at me, chewing the inside of her cheek.
“Now you’re the one who looks worried,” I pointed out, my words soft.
Her shoulders rose as she took a deep breath, the sound audible as she let it out in a gust.
“Tell me what you want,” she whispered.
“You. What do you want?”