13. Killian
My lids popped open from a light sleep. Darkness surrounded me, the blackout curtains doing their job to keep the light out of her small bedroom. The press of Millie’s soft skin against my side, the slow rise and fall of her chest tempered the bolt of alert awareness that snapped me awake. The sheets rustled, tangling around me as I shifted to seal her even tighter against me, hoping that would calm the unease pumping through my veins, warning me of an unseen threat.
“You played a dangerous game, son.”
Without thinking, only reacting to his voice, I sprang from the bed. The silky material of the expensive suits he wore like armor bunched beneath my tightening grip, fighting for a hold to take him to the floor. But like with everything else in my father’s orbit, he was one step ahead. Clearly able to see better than me, he shifted, dislodging my hold and turning me to wrap a thick arm around my neck. Despite knowing it was useless, I fought against his controlling grip with everything I had, not giving two shits that I was naked. My dick slapped between my thighs with every frantic kick.
An audible, annoyed sigh brushed past my ear, and the arm around my throat tightened, cutting off my air supply. Not wanting to pass out, leaving Millie unprotected against my asshole father, I forced myself to relax, allowing shallow slivers of air through to keep me conscious. A blinding light cutting through the dark room from the cheap ceiling fan had me squeezing my lids shut against the sudden assault.
When my sight adjusted, my frantic gaze zeroed in on the bed where Millie lay sprawled along the sheets, still out cold. Icy fear froze me from the inside out. The light was on, plus the noise of the earlier struggle, so why was she still out cold?
“What the fuck did you do to her?” I cracked, barely able to get the words out with the pressure on my trachea.
“Just a small sedative,” my father huffed, his words brushing past my ear. “We left her unharmed outside of that, though that can change based on you.” At a barked command, a man dressed in head-to-toe black with a balaclava concealing his features stepped into the room, gun in hand, and aimed the barrel at Millie’s head. “Still want to fight me, son?”
“No,” I hissed, willing to do or say anything for freedom from his hold to angle myself between my Millie and the potentially fatal bullet. The second his arm loosened, I flashed to the bed and pulled the draped blankets up to her chin to cover every bare inch of her flawless skin that was on display. Stepping around the bed, I stood between Millie and the asshole still aiming the gun at her, crossing both arms over my chest.
“We’re fine. My son now fully grasps the consequences of his actions on others. Isn’t that right?” My nod was clipped, and I didn’t let my gaze drop from the bastard’s soulless eyes who dared to put my girl in danger. “Go finish cleaning, leave nothing behind, including his prints and DNA. Be ready to move out in five.”
My back molars ground together as the armed asshole turned and disappeared into Millie’s apartment. I knew exactly what else needed to be ‘cleaned’. “You had her place bugged,” I seethed.
“I knew there was something off the last time you came home, so yes, I needed to find and eliminate the distraction.”
I turned to face him, murder in my gaze. “You will not eliminate her.”
“That’s up to you now, isn’t it? Did you really think you two could disappear from me?”
I wanted to punch the cocky-ass smile off his face. Fucker had listened to our plans, had heard me tell Millie I wanted to be with her, escaping the life he orchestrated for me. My gaze shifted to the bed, heart clenching as I traced the curves of her body hidden beneath the blanket. It was foolish to think someone like me could have a normal life. I should have prepared for this, known my father wouldn’t go away without a fight.
Now she was in imminent danger, all because I loved her too much to consider letting her go.
I beyond loved Millie. A love that filled my heart so much it felt like it would burst in my chest when I even thought about her. And last night, finally feeling her in my arms the way I wet-dreamed almost every night since I met her, was more than I could’ve imagined.
This was the ultimate test of my love for her.
True love was about sacrifices, and I was ready to make a big one for her. She’d hate me, no doubt, wondering where I went, because I knew without a doubt this would be the last time I ever saw her. Life as an asset for the CIA didn’t allow for personal relationships, per my father, at least. He had nothing in his life besides grooming me to follow in his footsteps after Mom died.
If I loved Millie like I knew deep in the recesses of my soul I did, I had to make the tough choice.
To sacrifice myself, my freedom and life, for her.
“If I go with you?—”
“When you come with me,” he snapped and pulled a gun from behind his back, pointing the silencer right at Millie’s head. “Remember who is in charge here, boy.”
I swallowed down the rage and nodded.
“When I come with you, leaving her and all this behind, I want you to forget about her. No surveillance, no bugs, nothing. I will walk away, make a clean break, if you will, too.”
He studied me, the way he trained me to study body language and tone. With a nod, he tucked the gun away and smiled.
“Agreed. Now, let’s get you where you belong. You have an interview with the director in three days, and we have lots to review before then.”
“Understood, sir. Give me a minute to say goodbye.” It wasn’t a request, and thankfully, and a bit surprisingly, he gave me the courtesy of leaving the room. He knew I wouldn’t try to escape, not when it would put Millie in danger.
The mattress dipped beneath me when I sat on the edge of the bed beside her. With reverent movements, I brushed the loose locks of dark hair from her face and leaned in, sealing my lips to hers.
“I know you’ll be hurt and confused when you wake up, and I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m so sorry, Millie. I never should’ve pulled you into my life, put you in danger like I did. But I was selfish, couldn’t stay away from you even when I knew we would end. Please know I love you so much, and no one will ever come close to owning my heart and soul like you did. Be happy. Be…” My voice cracked. “Be loved by someone who isn’t fucked up and can give you everything you deserve.” My next words were selfish, but I couldn’t stop. “But don’t forget me,” I whispered. “I need to know at least one person knows I’m gone.”
With a hard, bruising kiss, I forced myself off the bed. As I picked up my discarded clothes from the floor, I worked to shut down every emotion, sealing off everything I felt for Millie and the dreams of a future with her.
With one last look at the love of my life, I turned and walked out of the bedroom. The man she knew as Killian withering away with the growing distance until there was nothing left without her.