21. Killian
Hands braced against the edge of the granite vanity top, I studied my reflection, barely visible through the steam coating the surface. It wasn’t enough to hide the thick scars decorating my chest. My stomach rolled in disgust and phantom pain as I traced the outline of the most vicious slice that marred my entire stomach. At least I couldn’t see my back, which was another roadmap of the torture I endured after my real identity and mission were exposed.
It was a miracle I was even here. The CIA didn’t follow the whole no man left behind slogan. It was known if you were caught, then you better figure out a way to save yourself or take your own life because no one would come for you.
No one even remembered you existed.
My gaze flicked to the locked bathroom door as if I could see through it to the still-sleeping beauty on the king-sized bed. Except Millie had remembered me. A ghost of a smile pulled at my lips. The insistent flashbacks from those two months of pain and despair were overtaken by memories of her. Not only did Millie remember me, but she thought about me while touching herself with that asshole asleep right beside her.
If I’d known he was such a lousy fucker, I would’ve taken him out like I wanted to after he proposed. But I didn’t because all my research and snooping on the bastard said he was a good guy. Stable. Safe.
Everything I wasn’t.
But she still thought of me. A groan rattled up my throat at the memory of her whispered confessions while my fingers were deep inside her tight cunt. My lids fluttered closed, recalling every twitch of her body, the sounds she made as she came, and the sweet scent of her arousal that flooded the room.
“Fuck,” I grunted as my cock stirred between my thighs. My gaze flicked to the door again, debating if I should wake Millie up with my tongue inside her, eating her tasty pussy for my breakfast, or slide inside her like I wanted to last night.
I started for the door, only for the movement in the reflection to catch my eye. My steps faltered at the sight of the ugly-ass scars. I didn’t want her to see them, to know I failed and almost paid with my life for the mistake. Plus, if I saw pity or disgust, which she had no hope of covering because my girl had a shit poker face, it would break me.
More than I already was.
Grabbing a hair tie off the counter, I wrangled the long, wet strands into a knot and tugged on the sweats and T-shirt I brought in with me after slipping out of the bed. I knew if this were to be forever, Millie would see my scars eventually. But now wasn’t the time. We had enough to deal with at the moment. Thankfully, they were easy to cover, and I’d been able to work around past hookups seeing the puckered scars. After I bound their hands to keep them from touching me, I’d cover their eyes if I planned to get fully undressed, which wasn’t normal. The ‘be ready for anything at any time’ motto the agency drilled into me also encompassed times when you were balls deep inside someone.
Just as the shirt fell into place, the faint jostle of the door handle snapped my attention to the chrome metal, and I reached for where my knife normally sat on my hip. Anxiety mounted when my searching fingers brushed along the soft cotton instead of a hilt.
“Kill?”
My shoulders relaxed as I blew out a controlled breath. Millie. It was Millie, not someone here to kill me. Fucking hell, living with someone would be harder to acclimate to than I expected. Though the effort needed to not reach for a gun or knife at every sound would be worth it for Millie.
The lock popped with the quick twist of the handle, and I pulled the door open. My stomach dropped, taking in the adorable woman standing in front of me. Cotton-candy pink hair a mess, lids still heavy with sleep, and a soft smile on her lips. She was absolutely stunning.
My heart stuttered in my chest. This. This was what I missed the last ten years. If I’d known, realized how much I missed out on, of a normal life, maybe I would’ve said fuck it to the danger that continued to follow me. But instead, like a fucking coward, I only watched from afar, through lenses and social media, never daring to step into her life.
I was afraid she wouldn’t remember me or be so angry that she’d take one look and walk away. I was too fragile for that. Sure, I might seem like I had all the confidence in the world, enjoyed being the shiny object that greedy eyes tracked when I walked into a room, but that wasn’t the real me.
Only Millie knew that person.
“You okay?” she asked, rubbing at her eyes.
“Yeah, just getting a head start on the day. I need to check in with Rhyan and—” I swallowed my next words when her tiny arms wrapped around me, and her head laid against my chest.
“Next time, wake me up, too, okay?” Chin to my sternum, she looked up at me. “I didn’t like waking up to you gone.” A flash of fear and vulnerability flickered across her features. “I thought you left me again.”
My hand wrapped around the back of her neck while the other grabbed a handful of her plump ass. “Never again. No one will take you away from me ever again, babycakes. And I swear on my life that as long as I’m breathing, I’ll be here, right by your side.”
“You already showered?” I nodded. A frown tugged the corners of her lips down. “I wanted to shower with you,” she whispered.
My cock jerked at her raspy words, visions of us consuming each other beneath the hot spray making me harder by the second. Her gaze widened, no doubt feeling my stirring cock against her stomach. The fingers digging into her ass cheek tightened as a groan escaped, rattling around the room.
“Is that so, babycakes?” I tugged on a soft pink lock of hair. Her breath hitched at the bite of pain, making me grin. “And what would you have done in the shower with me?”
Her throat bobbed with a hard swallow. I tracked the movement. Cock now rock-hard, twitching behind my sweats.
“It’s not fair, really,” she said as those small fingers traced the waistband of my sweats. “I’ve had all the fun?—”
“I disagree. Watching you come is my definition of fun, but go on,” I said in a teasing tone.
Her eyes narrowed in a fake glare. “What if I want to try it?” A dark brown brow arched in question, but I’d somehow swallowed my tongue and couldn’t respond. Fuck, this woman rendered me speechless constantly. “What if I wanted a chance to touch you? To taste you like you did me?”
Squeezing my eyes shut, I inhaled the still-humid air from my shower to keep from propping her up on the counter and fucking her senseless.
Wait.
Why was that a bad idea again?
When I opened my eyes, I found her looking up with glassy eyes and pink cheeks.
“Does the idea of me fucking your mouth turn you on, babycakes?” That disheveled pink hair shifted with an eager nod. “Well, I’m here for your pleasure, my Millie.” Her breath caught as I trapped her hand in mine and dipped it beneath the sweats’ loose waistband. The second her tiny fingers stroked along my shaft, I couldn’t stop the jerk of my hips. “Fuck. Just you touching me might make me explode, but holy fuck, why are your hands so cold?”
Her soft giggle echoed around the bathroom, making my heart soar with pure happiness. That laugh. Oh, how I missed that laugh. Her fingers tightened around me, the cold adding a unique and welcome sensation.
“Did you mention something about tasting me?” I rasped.
Instead of responding, she nodded while running the tip of her tongue along her lower lip. My stomach bottomed out as she lowered to her knees, the hand not wrapped around me slowly working the band of my pants down my thick thighs until all of me was exposed to the humid air.
“I don’t actually know what I’m doing,” she said, staring up at me before looking away as if embarrassed by her words. “I don’t think I’m good at it, but I want to be for you.”
Her soft hair slid under my palm as I ran a hand over her head in a sweet, comforting gesture.
“Don’t do anything you don’t want to do, babycakes. I’m perfectly happy with just—shit,” I cursed as her lips wrapped around my sensitive head.
“I want to do it, Kill. Don’t think I feel obligated or pressured. It was my awkward way of asking for you to help me.”
“Help you,” I mused. “Pretty sure if I could manipulate my body to help you suck my cock, I’d forever be stuck in that position.”
Brown eyes looked at the ceiling with her frustrated huff. “Tell me what you like. Show me.” Crimson highlighted her cheeks. “When the man in a book is more… forceful, it turns me on. A lot.”
My brows hit my hairline. “Is that right?”
“Yes.” Her soft breath brushed along my bobbing cock.
“Hmm, remind me we need to read those books together, out loud sometime, naked in bed, with nowhere to be for days. Oh, and I should send the authors fruit baskets or bouquets of dick straws.” All humor vanished when her free hand cupped my balls and rolled them in her palm. “Forceful, hmm?” She nodded eagerly. “Well, okay then, babycakes, your wish is my pleasure.”
My fingers dove into her pink strands and curled into a fist at the base of her skull.
“Fuck, I love this hair on you. Maybe I should send that dick straw bouquet to Rhyan for the perfect suggestion.” Her lips curled into a small snarl. My chest heated knowing that just mentioning another woman’s name made her jealous. “Oh, my Millie, you are all mine, aren’t you? Now clasp both hands behind your back.” I waited until she obeyed, immediately missing her hands on me. “Open that pretty little mouth and stick out your tongue.”
Eyes locked on me, she did exactly as I asked, making my dick twitch, eager to feel the heat of her mouth it was teased with just seconds ago. Instead of thrusting into her mouth like I wanted, I leaned down and, with a single finger, nudged the thin straps of her silky pajama top off both slim shoulders.
A pleased hum rattled in my chest as the material fluttered down to her waist, exposing her tits. Gaze never leaving hers, I guided her mouth closer.
“Use that clever tongue and lick up that drop.” The first flick of her tongue was tentative, but the guttural groan that rattled through the bathroom urged her on. Both legs shook, thigh muscles trembling when the little tease dipped her tongue into my slit like she was trying to draw out more for her to swallow. “Holy fuck, I’m going to embarrass myself. I swear on my life, next time, I’ll last longer.”
Not waiting for her reply, I pushed past her parted lips, cock sliding along her soft, hot tongue. Her eyes widened, but she didn’t fight as I pushed even deeper, the head tapping at the back of her throat, engaging her gag reflex. I tossed my head back with a curse.
“Holy fuck, just like that. Keep swallowing, baby. Keep working that throat around my head.” Pulling back slightly, I thrust forward again, her tiny nose brushing my stomach as I worked to slip down her throat. My free hand wrapped around her throat, squeezing just a little to add pressure to the amazingness that was my Millie’s mouth owning me.
At a faint whimper, my lids popped open, and I pulled back, a blast of fear cooling my heated blood. My lips parted to ask if I hurt her only for them to seal together when I caught the reason for the sound. Lids hooded, cheeks and bare chest flushed, Millie wiggled on the floor, her thighs pressed firmly together.
She was in pain, but not because of me.
“Unclasp your hands. Slip one down the front of your shorts and the other I want playing with your tits, understood?” I tracked every movement as I slipped my cock past her lips once again. Chest rising and falling in rapid succession, I couldn’t catch my breath as her hand dipped beneath her shorts while the other cupped her breast, fingertips pinching at her hard nipple. “Fuck, you do that when you’re playing with yourself, don’t you? But don’t come. If you do…” A strangled chuckle escaped as her throat constricted around me. “You won’t like the consequences.” Except when her wide eyes met mine, I smiled. “Or maybe you will. Oh, my Millie, we’re going to have so much fun finding your limits.”
Biting my lower lip, I gave in to the pounding need to fuck her perfect mouth. In and out, I slid past her lips, each time hitting her just a little deeper until she took all my long, thick cock. Head tossed back, I trembled. A bolt of pleasure raced down my spine. Knowing I was seconds from exploding, I held her head still and thrust even faster, chasing my orgasm.
“Fuck, Millie,” I rasped, gazing down at her as I came so hard it fucking hurt, like my soul was ripped from my body. “Swallow it all, babycakes. Swallow every fucking drop you begged your husband for.”
Her moan vibrated along my still-twitching shaft, making me curse and my hips jerk forward. Blinking past the dark spots dancing in my vision, I dipped my chin to stare down at the most beautiful and unique woman I’d ever met. My cock slipped from between her lips and I swiped a thumb along her skin, cleaning up the spit and cum dripping down her chin.
“Fuck, you’re amazing, Millie.” My gaze slipped to the hand still moving beneath her shorts. “And all fucking mine.” Hands gripped under her arms, I lifted her slight frame with ease and sat her on the vanity, half her perfect ass hanging off. Palm to her sternum, I urged her back onto both elbows, thrusting those fuckable tits into the air.
Yanking at the band of her sleep shorts, I lowered them just enough for my mouth to latch on to her swollen nub. Her unique, sweet taste exploded on my tongue. A grunt escaped when her legs wrapped around me, heels pressed between my shoulders. I smiled against her, loving the way adult Millie wasn’t shy about what she wanted, completely uninhibited, unlike the one I knew in college.
Her hips shifted against my face, telling me she was close. Fingers teasing at her entrance, I pushed one, then two, and finally a third finger deep inside before removing one. Eyes on her to monitor for any hesitation, I slid that one slick finger back while keeping the others inside her tight pussy. Millie’s lids flew open when I prodded at her back hole, testing the waters to see how much she truly wanted to explore.
Instead of looking appalled or telling me to stop, her lids slammed shut as her cunt tightened around my fingers. A breathy moan filled the bathroom, and her release coated my fingers, leaking down my hand. Not wanting to miss a drop, I tugged her shorts down even further, a few seams snapping with the force, and licked her from entrance to clit over and over until her fingers grasped at my hair, tugging my face back.
Bare chest and cheeks flushed, breaths coming in quick, shallow pants, I froze at how fucking gorgeous she looked in that moment. Everything I had fantasized about, all those daydreams of her, couldn’t compare to the real thing.
I stood between her thighs and bent forward to capture her lips with my own.
“Now that’s a way to start a day,” I muttered against her mouth. “Ready to start our diabolical plan to take over this shit cult and save some souls?”
Her brows rose over her forehead, but a small smile grew as she nodded. “Seems over the top, but yeah, let’s do this.”
How I would make it through the next two weeks without ripping out the eyes of any fucker in this messed-up place who looked at her, I wasn’t sure. But that was something for future Killian to worry about.
Everything would work out fine.
Hopefully.
Maybe.
We’ll see.
No one would miss a few cult members…. Right?