Chapter Eighteen
HOLLY
“A re you sure about this?” I ask through the bathroom door of the guest house, looking at myself in the mirror over the sink.
“Well, I can’t answer you honestly until you come out here,” Cassie responds with a chuckle in her voice.
I blow out a breath, smoothing down the fabric of the dark green dress, wondering if I’ve officially lost my mind. The ruffles barely skim the top of my shoulders, giving way to my bare arms that I’m sure will be cold halfway through the night. The fitted top leads way to a tapered waist, with the skirt flowing out to the top of my knees. Cassie brought dark green heels that fit me perfectly, matching the exact colour of the dress.
If you added some jewels to me, I’d be a Christmas tree.
I had been skeptical when she showed up at my door with the outfit in hand. What are the chances that we are the same size in both clothes and shoes? But yet, here I am, wearing that and having it fit perfectly.
“Holly, if you don’t come out here in the next two seconds I’m coming in!” she yells through the door.
“Alright, alright. You’re pushy, did you know that?” I say, opening the door.
I hold my breath while she takes me in. Her eyes widen as she scans my—her—outfit. “Wow Holly! You look amazing!”
“Is it too much?” I ask, looking down and giving my skirt a little twirl. “I’ve never been to a dance in a barn before. I thought it would be a little more…casual?”
“Don’t be silly! This is the biggest event of the year!”
I look down at her, noticing for the first time she ditched her long coat, revealing a strapless red sweetheart dress with a black lace overlay. Her dress is fantastic. Her brown hair falls in soft curls around her shoulders, and her makeup is neutral and classic, giving her the small-town girl look while also being elegant. “Your dress is beautiful.”
“Oh, this old thing?” she says with a laugh, letting the hem sway around her knees as she moves to show it off.
I turn again, looking at myself in the mirror, wondering what I’ve got myself into. I’ve done my hair and makeup like I would have done for any other holiday event in the city. I put my hair into an updo, two French braids meeting in a messy bun at the nape of my neck. The makeup around my eyes is lined heavier than normal, with a shimmer on my lids. Had I been going to a party in the city, I would have felt comfortable. Confident. But here? I feel so out of place.
“What’s the matter?” Cassie asks, stepping behind me and looking over my shoulder into the mirror.
“I don’t know, I…this feels wrong.”
“What do you mean? You look gorgeous! You’re going to be the fanciest one there!”
I look at myself harder this time, not even recognizing myself. “I think that’s the problem,” I whisper.
Cassie regards me silently for a moment in the mirror before straightening her back with a determined look on her face. “Then we fix it.”
“We don’t have time. We’ll be late,” I say, wondering if I should just wipe all this makeup off, put on my reindeer pyjamas and crawl into bed.
“So? Then we’ll make sure we are fashionably late.”
I look up, meeting Cassie’s eyes. She has a hint of mischief in them that should get me worried.
“Come on. You don’t want to leave Rex waiting, do you?” she taunts.
“I still don’t know how you’re so okay with me being with him.”
Am I with him? Are we together?
That causes a whole other stir of butterflies in my stomach. I’m supposed to be leaving. If you asked me even a couple of days ago, now that I have my car back, I should be on the road and halfway to Vancouver by now. But here I am, standing in the guesthouse of Rex’s property, losing yet another tie to the place I called home.
“I’m okay with it because now I see I’m not what he needs. You are.”
“What do you mean?” I whip around to face her, my skirt twirling forcefully at my knees. Had I moved any faster, I would have been tangled up in it.
“You’re bringing him out of his shell. He’s in town more. Letting people in.” She takes a step forward, placing her hands on my arms. “He’s only lived here a short time, but everyone in town is very protective of him and his shelter. I’m sure you’ve seen that. But we all noticed the difference in him, even within these last few days.”
“Have you all held a town meeting or something? How do you know this?”
She laughs. “Every day is a town meeting at the cafe. My shop is like the hot spot of all the town gossip.” She drops her hands off me and takes a step back. “While I love your look, I think I know what you mean about it not being right. Do you trust me?”
That’s the million-dollar question.
When was the last time I trusted someone? Fully trusted someone?
The last time I did, he left me on my favourite holiday to pick up the burning pieces of our life in front of all our family and friends while he fled the province.
But maybe it’s time I let that go. Being here these last few days, I notice how much I miss having someone I can count on. Friends I can turn to.
A man to love and could love me.
Because Santa help me, I think I’m falling for Rex Wellington.
Taking a steeling breath, I look at Cassie and nod. “I trust you.”
She claps her hands and lets out an excited squeal before getting to work.
* * *
Standing in front of the doors to the barn, I look up at the lights decorating the red structure, wondering if I’m making the right decision.
If I go inside, I’m telling Rex, and myself, that I’m opening myself up to not only a relationship with him but also to the town. I know Rex will never leave this place, and if I’m being completely honest with myself, I can see why. It’s an amazing little town, even if it likes to celebrate the holiday that gives me the most pain year-round.
“Are you okay?” Cassie asks, standing at my side.
“I think so.”
She grabs my hand, her warm palm surrounding my cold one and giving it a squeeze. “This is a good thing, you know?”
“Is it?” I ask, not looking at her, but also not letting go of her hand. She hesitates for a moment. I turn and face her to see she’s also standing at the entrance. “Are you okay?”
“I don’t know.”
I follow her gaze inside the doors of the barn where Rex and Jacob stand around a high-top table, a glass of some sort of reddish-pink drink in their hands.
“Do I want to know what they’re drinking?” I ask, wondering if I’m seeing something bob in their drinks.
“Oh, that’s the Crantastic Punch,” Cassie answers matter-of-factly.
“The…what?”
“You have to try it! It’s a mix of cranberry, orange, and ginger. It’s so good.” Her tone becomes more upbeat as she describes the drink, and I let her momentary weariness go without comment. I don’t know if it’s a sadness over Rex or an interest in Jacob, but either way, I could tell she didn’t want to talk about it.
“We should get in,” she says, pulling my hand toward the door. My step almost falters, thanks to thinking it was a good idea wearing heels when there’s ice and snow, but Cassie doesn’t let me waver. She’s a woman on a mission to get inside this barn, and my fall isn’t part of her plan.
The men meet us as soon as we’ve checked in our coats. Jacob gravitates to Cassie as Rex gives me a heartwarming smile.
“Holly, you look beautiful,” he says, leaning down to give me a kiss on the cheek.
I feel myself blush, heat blasting my skin where his lips grazed.
“Thank you.” I look down to see him in a dark red button-up shirt, jeans and his signature black boots. What has me chuckling is his tie. The dark green tie contrasts nicely with his shirt, but it’s the flashing light up candy canes that has me giggling. “Nice tie.”
He holds the end of it away from him, looking down as it flashes in tune with a silent melody. “Why thank you. Special occasions call for special ties.”
I look around him. “No Tag tonight?”
“No, he’s too grumpy for this scene. I left him at home to keep watch over the other dogs.”
“Keep watch, huh?”
“Well, as much as Tag can with that group.” He drops his tie, his gaze meeting mine.
Wes Brown’s version of ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas’ plays over the speakers, filling the barn with the calming sounds of jazz beats mixed with his soothing voice. I can’t help but smile as I get lost in Rex’s ice-blue eyes, the crinkle at his eyes from his own smile staring back at me.
Couples gather on the dance floor behind him, swaying to the merry tune. I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to be held in Rex’s arms. To rest my head on his shoulder and get lost in the melody.
“Can I get you a drink?” he asks, breaking me of my momentary daydream.
“Yeah, sure. Thanks. Cassie says I need to try the Cran…” I trail off, not remembering what she called it.
“Crantastic Punch,” he says with a wink as he finishes the last of his own. “It’s actually pretty good. I will warn you, though. It’s really sweet and—festive. I know how much you love both of those things.”
It shouldn’t, but it warms my heart that he remembers those things about me. My preferences and tastes. Ever since that first day he’s always been so careful to bring me the Christmas tea I like and making sure no one brings me a Holly Jolly Latte. Thankfully, Cassie laughs it off rather than being offended that I don’t care for her signature drink.
“Thank you for the heads up. I’ll try it this once. ’Tis the season and all,” I joke.
“Your wish is my command.” His eyes leave mine as he glances over my shoulder. With a nod of his head, he’s off to the far side of the barn with Jacob, leaving me to watch after him.
Cassie steps beside me, her gaze on the men’s retreating backs as well. She lets out a sigh, her shoulders slumping.
I can’t help but wonder what she’s thinking about as she watches Rex walk away. Is she telling me the truth about how she feels about him? Does she resent me?
I look down at the dress, thinking about how she picked this out for me and helped me change my hair and makeup. What if this was some way for her to sabotage my Christmas Eve with Rex? That’s something that would happen in the city if we both had feelings for the same man. Not with everyone, but for sure with a lot of women I thought I was ‘friends’ with.
If that were true, I don’t know what her angle would be. She’s been nothing but kind to me since we went shopping. Tonight she brought me this dress and shoes. She helped me change my hair from the elaborate updo to more natural curls that fall around my shoulders. She helped me wipe off my heavy makeup and carefully apply a more natural, shimmery look. As I turn my attention to the other women in the barn tonight, there’s nothing that would make me stand out.
My heart beats at a wild pace as my mind races. I’m starting to lose touch with reality. Maybe I don’t know this place as well as I thought. These people. Do I really know them at all?
“Hey, are you okay?” Cassie places her hand on my arm, concern etched on her face.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I brush off her concern with a shake of my head.
“Are you sure? You look like you saw a ghost there for a second.”
I take a deep breath, giving her a small smile. I’ve been around Cassie long enough to know she’s not the best liar. No one in town is anything other than genuine and honest. I’m being ridiculous thinking otherwise.
Have I really become that jaded that I can’t recognize when people are being honest?
Rex and Jacob return with drinks in hand, and I gladly accept the bubbly red drink with floating cranberries.
“This is…festive,” I say, holding it up to my face and taking a sniff.
The pungent smell of ginger and orange fill my nose, momentarily filling me with nostalgia from when I adored the season. Taking a small sip, the bitterness of the cranberries mixes with the carbonated ginger ale and orange, balancing out the tart and sweet.
“So, what do you think? Good, right?” Cassie asks with a beaming smile at my side.
“Yes, I’ll give you this one. The punch is really good.”
We spend the next hour laughing and dancing, both as a group of four and just Rex and I. As we sway together with my hand in his and my head on his shoulder, I can’t help but think how much my life has changed in such a short amount of time. Bing Crosby’s soulful voice sings ‘White Christmas,’ making me think that maybe I can once again wish for things that I thought I’d lost. A husband. Kids. A family. Christmases filled with laughter and love as we sit around the fire with our hot cocoa and tea. Sleigh rides and sledding in the snow.
I realize that it’s not just the town or the song, but it’s Rex. He makes me want these things. Even if I’m too scared to admit it.
“Hey,” I say softly, lifting my head from him to look into his eyes. “Do you mind if we go and get some air?”
“Not at all.”
He leads me from the dance floor to the door, stopping only to grab our jackets from the coat check.
“Is everything okay?” he asks once we are away from the door, the music and laughter nothing but a soft murmur. He places his arm around me, tucking me into his side as we follow the shovelled path.
“Yes. I think so, anyway. Everything about this town is the opposite of what I know back home. People are nice. They aren’t trying to walk over you to get ahead or take what they want. They are genuine and kind. It’s a place I didn’t know existed outside of books and movies.”
“Towns like this exist in more places than just Candy Cane Creek. You only need to know where to look.”
“And you? Do men like you exist anywhere outside of Candy Cane Creek?”
He chuffs. “That, I don’t know about.”
“I hope not,” I say, holding him tighter, placing my head back on his chest. “I want to be the only one that has someone as special as you.”