Chapter 17
Diego
Iwoke the next morning to a buzz from the bedside table. Making sure not to disturb Hayden, I reached over and grabbed it, the screen nearly blinding me in the early morning darkness.
The temperature was now above fifty degrees, and the roads had cleared. Everything was now open.
I felt a twisting in my stomach. It wasn’t excitement or even happiness that everything was back to normal.
It was a sense of dread that this little dream of mine was coming to an end.
In the morning we’d have to pack our things and head back to Sagebrush.
Despite how well things had gone, I wasn’t sure if our little fantasy was going to survive friends and family.
Back in Sagebrush there was responsibility and expectations and people.
Here in the hotel, it was just us two, time seemingly frozen until we wanted to return to real life.
But it was over now. I glanced over at Hayden wondering if he’d really leave after New Year like he said. Maybe I could convince him to stay. Then again, what chance did I have of doing that? I was supposed to leave come spring. What was the point of dragging it out longer than we had to?
I sighed, watching Hayden’s chest rise and fall with his steady breathing. His freckles looked softer in the dim light filtering through the curtains, like stars fading at dawn. I wanted to reach out and trace them with my fingertip, but I didn’t want to wake him.
Truth was, I didn’t know what I wanted anymore.
I’d spent my whole life drifting from place to place, never putting down roots, never letting myself get attached.
It was safer that way. Foster homes had taught me early that getting comfortable anywhere was a mistake.
The rug always got pulled out from under you, eventually.
But lying there, watching Hayden sleep, I felt something I hadn’t felt in a long time. Maybe ever. Something that scared the hell out of me.
I slipped out of bed as quietly as I could, pulling on my jeans and a t-shirt. I needed to clear my head, get some fresh air. The hotel room suddenly felt too small, too intimate, too filled with possibilities I wasn’t sure I deserved.
I scribbled a quick note on the hotel stationery.
Gone for a drive. Roads are open. Back soon.
—D
I left it on my pillow. I grabbed my keys and wallet, and with one last look at Hayden’s sleeping form, I slipped out the door.
The hotel hallway was quiet, most guests still asleep. Outside, the morning air hit me like a slap, cool and bracing after the warmth of our room. The snow was already melting quickly, dirty slush piling along the curbs while the center of the roads were wide open. Texas snow never lasted long.
I climbed into my truck, started the engine, and just sat there for a minute, hands gripping the wheel. What the hell was I doing? Running away again, like I always did when things got real?
I pulled out of the parking lot, not really sure where I was headed. The streets were nearly empty, just a few early risers clearing snow from sidewalks or warming up their cars. I drove aimlessly, my mind racing faster than the truck.
What if I didn’t leave Sagebrush in the spring? What if I stayed?
But then what? Work at Turner Ranch forever? That had never been my plan. I’d always moved on before, finding the next place, the next job. Never looking back.
And what about Hayden? He had his own life to get back to.
California, modeling, the ocean he missed so much.
I couldn’t ask him to stay in a small Texas town for me.
That wouldn’t be fair. He had big dreams and big plans.
And now that he was free of that shitty ex of his, things could only get better for him.
Who was I to ask him to give up all that just to be stuck in a small town or wandering ranch to ranch for the rest of his life?
I found myself at a little coffee place, a franchise filled with teenage zombies working behind the counter.
All of them looked exhausted and like they’d had the stuffing beat out of them.
Then again, it was barely past six in the morning.
If you weren’t used to it, this was obnoxiously early to have to deal with customers.
I ordered a black coffee, adding a muffin as an afterthought. The girl behind the counter barely made eye contact as she handed me my change. I couldn’t blame her.
Finding a corner table by the window, I watched as the town slowly woke up.
Cars began to fill the streets, people rushing to work now that the roads were clear.
Normal life resuming after the brief interruption of the snowstorm.
That’s how it always went, a moment of chaos, then back to routine like nothing had happened.
But something had happened. Something that had shaken my foundations more than I wanted to admit.
I sipped my coffee, wincing at the bitter taste.
It wasn’t like Dolly’s. Nothing ever was.
My mind wandered to the foster home I’d stayed in the longest, almost two years with the Henry family.
They’d been good people, kind even. Mrs. Henry made the best chilaquiles I’d ever tasted, and Mr. Henry taught me how to change the oil in a car.
But when their biological son needed to move back home, there wasn’t enough room for me anymore.
And just like that, I was no longer welcome.
That’s how it always worked. You were wanted until you weren’t. You were family until you weren’t. The lesson stuck. Don’t get attached, don’t put down roots, and don’t expect to stay.
So why was I sitting here thinking about buying land near Sagebrush?
Why was I wondering what Hayden’s face would look like in the morning light of my own place?
Why was I picturing him at Dolly’s diner, laughing with the locals, becoming part of the town?
Why did the thought of leaving all the wonderful people I’d met in Sagebrush behind fill me with dread?
“Fuck,” I muttered, drawing a curious glance from an elderly woman at the next table. I offered an apologetic smile and turned back to my coffee.
This wasn’t me. I didn’t daydream about futures with pretty boys I’d just met. I didn’t imagine what it would be like to wake up next to the same person every day. I didn’t wonder what it might feel like to belong somewhere, to someone.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out, half expecting to see Hayden’s name, but it was Lucas.
Lucas: Roads clear yet? You two lovebirds heading back today?
I stared at the text, unsure how to respond. Were we lovebirds? Was this just a fling born of convenience and attraction? Or was it something more?
Another text came through before I could reply.
Lucas: And whatever you’re overthinking right now, stop it. Just be happy for once in your life, Diego.
I snorted. Lucas had an uncanny ability to read me, even through a text message and eighty miles away. But it wasn’t that simple. Being happy meant being vulnerable. Being vulnerable meant getting hurt.
And yet, the thought of walking away from Hayden made my chest ache in a way I wasn’t prepared for.
I finished my coffee and headed back to my truck. The morning sun was just coming over the horizon, filling the sky with an array of golds and pinks.
I sat in the truck for a moment, watching the sunlight paint the clouds in shades of gold and amber. The beauty of it caught me off guard. I’d seen a thousand sunrises on a thousand different ranches, but this one felt different. This one I wanted to share with someone.
With Hayden.
I drove back to the hotel, my mind still a jumble of contradicting thoughts. The parking lot was busier now, people loading suitcases into their cars, ready to continue journeys that had been temporarily paused by the snow. Soon we’d be doing the same.
When I slipped back into our room, I found Hayden sitting up in bed, my note crumpled in his hand. His hair was mussed from sleep, his cheeks flushed, and those damn freckles seemed to glow in the morning light streaming through the gap in the curtains.
“Hey,” he said, his voice still rough with sleep. “I was starting to think you’d made a run for it.”
“Just needed some coffee,” I replied, holding up the extra cup I’d grabbed on my way back. “Thought you might want some too.”
He smiled, reaching for the offering. “Thanks.”
Our fingers brushed as I handed him the cup, and even that small contact sent a current through me. I sat on the edge of the bed, watching as he took his first sip, his eyes closing in appreciation.
“So, the roads are open,” he said after a moment, not quite meeting my gaze.
“Yeah.” I rubbed the back of my neck, suddenly uncomfortable. “Guess we should head back soon.”
Hayden nodded, still focused on his coffee. “Yeah, I’m sure Dolly’s wondering and worried about us.”
“I texted her yesterday. She knows you’re safe.”
“She’ll still worry.” He glanced up at me then, his blue eyes searching my face. “You okay? You seem... off.”
I forced a smile. “Just tired. Didn’t sleep much.”
“Hmm.” He didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t push. Instead, he set his coffee on the nightstand and stretched, the sheet falling away to reveal his bare chest. “I should shower before we go.”
I watched him slide out of bed, completely naked and completely unselfconscious as he padded toward the bathroom. The sight of him, all lean muscle and smooth skin dotted with those freckles I’d come to adore, made my throat tight.
“You coming?” he asked, pausing at the bathroom door with a raised eyebrow.
And just like that, my worries receded, at least temporarily. I grinned, already pulling my shirt over my head as I followed him.
The shower was hot and steamy, Hayden’s wet body pressed against mine as water cascaded over us both. We took our time washing each other, hands lingering on skin, kisses traded lazily under the spray. It felt domestic in a way that should have terrified me but instead just felt right.
“You sure everything’s okay?” Hayden asked again, his hands working shampoo through my hair. “You’ve got that look.”
“What look?” I asked, eyes closed as his fingers massaged my scalp.
“That brooding cowboy look. Like you’re carrying the weight of the whole damn ranch on your shoulders.”
I chuckled despite myself. “Just thinking.”
“About?” His hands slid down to my shoulders, thumbs working at the knots there.
I hesitated, not ready to lay all my cards on the table. “About how good this feels,” I said instead. It wasn’t a lie, just not the whole truth.
Hayden seemed to accept that answer. He pressed a kiss to my shoulder, right where a small scar marked my skin from a barbed wire accident years ago. “It does feel good,” he agreed softly.
We finished showering, dried off, and started packing up our few belongings. The room looked almost untouched except for the rumpled sheets and the half-empty champagne bottle on the table. Evidence of our brief escape from reality.
“Should we get breakfast before we head out?” I asked, watching as Hayden carefully folded his clothes.
“Nah, I’d rather get back. I’m sure Dolly’s got something cooking at the diner.” He looked up at me with a small smile. “And her food is better than anything we’ll find here.”
“Can’t argue with that.” I zipped up my bag and glanced around the room one last time. “Ready to go?”
Hayden nodded, though something in his expression seemed hesitant. “Yeah, I’m ready.”
“We’ve just got one last stop to make on the way out of town,” I added quickly. “Lucas texted me this morning.”
“Need my help?” he offered.
I just smiled, dropping my cowboy hat onto his head where it belonged. “I think I’ve got this one, Freckles.”