Chapter Twenty-Nine
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
DRAVEN
N o one is telling us anything, and I’m about to blow a fucking gasket.
I’m on the edge of my seat, elbows on my knees with my head hanging. My leg bones are about to leap right out of my skin with how aggressively I’m bouncing my limbs.
I was under the assumption we’d be able to go back to see her as soon as we got here, so the fact that we’ve been unable to do so has me worried out of my goddamn mind that something else happened to her on the way over here.
Did she go into cardiac arrest?
Did she have a stroke?
Something much worse than either of those?
I can’t bring myself to wonder if it’s the worst possible outcome. I refuse to accept that as a possibility.
My phone vibrates as another text comes in from Atticus.
I glance at the time before checking the message. It’s now been almost an hour since we first got here.
Clicking on the notification, I bring up my conversation with Atty.
Atticus:
We’re almost there. Any news yet?
Me:
Fucking nothing. I’m about to lose my shit.
“Robert?” Another patient is called back, pulling my attention from my phone.
Rage licks through my body, and this time, I can’t contain it. It’s like fucking déjà vu from the last time we were here.
When they didn’t do their fucking jobs.
“Hey!” Standing up, I shout at the triage nurse.
Both her and Robert look at me in fright.
“Draven…” Olivia hisses at me, grabbing my arm to keep me from approaching the counter.
But I easily break out of her grasp.
“Sir!” The receptionist calls out to me before I’m even halfway across the waiting room. “You cannot act this way. I remember you, and I’m telling you, we will not tolerate this kind of behavior from anyone.”
“Just tell me something, then. Anyfuckingthing. Is she okay? Is she awake?” Approaching the receptionist, I beg her for answers.
She looks at me with a mixture of annoyance and compassion.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t have any other information than what I’ve already told you. As you can see, we’re very busy today.”
Gripping my hair with both of my fists, my entire body tenses with a fury I can’t keep contained. Kins would know what to do in this situation. She’d tell me to calm the fuck down or that I’m acting like an ass.
But she’s not here with me.
At once, I snap. A frustrated scream rips from my throat as I tug on my hair, nearly pulling it from my scalp.
The entire room feels like it’s evaporating around me.
Finally, mid breakdown, I feel strong hands clasping me by my biceps and escorting me outside.
“—don’t want to see you back here again, got it?”
When my vision finally clears, I’m staring at the hospital’s parking lot.
What the fuck?
Spinning around, I come face-to-face with one of the hospital’s security guards. Olivia is standing behind him, looking beyond stressed out.
“You have five minutes to remove yourself from the property before I call the cops.” The guard jabs a finger in my direction as I hear the roar of motorcycles pulling into the parking lot before their engines cut.
Turning, I find Royce and Atticus quickly dismounting their bikes and walking up the sidewalk.
“What seems to be the problem here?” Royce questions as he saunters over to us.
I look back to the guard with what I’m sure is a shit-eating grin on my face. He clears his throat and removes his hat. Shifting it between one hand and the other, it’s clear that the arrival of the president of the Gettysburg Bastards is making him nervous.
“Look, we don’t want any trouble. But he was scaring the other patients. These people are sick enough already. They don’t need any more stress.”
Royce nods.
“I’ll keep him out here and contained—” he pins me with a stare “—as long as someone comes to get him as soon as there is an update. Deal?”
The thing people don’t know about Royce is he never makes deals. He always chooses his desired outcome then spins it in a way to make you think you have a say in the matter.
“I can do that.” The two of them nod to one another before the guard quickly retreats back into the building.
Royce turns to me with a grimace.
I shrug my shoulders at him. It’s all I’ve got left. I look back toward the entrance to the ER to see Olivia sitting on the brick wall lining the sidewalk.
I join her, my boots heavy, like they’re filled with mud. I hear the firm footsteps of Royce and Atticus behind me, surely following close behind to make sure I don’t charge the building or something else to make this situation worse than it already is.
“Olivia, this is Royce and Atticus. Guys, this is McKinsey’s best friend, Olivia.”
Her pursed lips and narrowed eyes tell me she’s apprehensive, but she offers them a weak wave as Royce and Atticus sit on a bench a couple feet away.
“Fuck… I’m ready to burn this whole fucking building down just for a chance to look into her fucking eyes again.”
I don’t mean to say it out loud. Olivia probably already thinks I’m the most unhinged person in the fucking world.
“I shouldn’t have argued with you.” Shocked by her admission, my eyes snap to hers. “I should have just agreed with you and helped you get her into the car.”
I rub my hand down my face before reaching into my pocket for my cigarettes and lighting one up.
“I don’t know if it would have mattered.”
It certainly didn’t help, but apparently, I’ve gotten a handle on my asshole attitude enough to not say it out loud.
“I keep thinking we could have gotten her here before she collapsed. Or maybe our fighting made her worse, and we were the ones to cause her to pass out.”
“Look…” I take another drag of my cigarette. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned from the doc, it’s you can’t blame yourself for every bad thing that happens to you or those you love.”
“Yeah, that sounds like something she would say.” She laughs humorlessly. “The only problem is, she didn’t exactly believe that herself.”
“What do you mean?” My attention falls back on her as I give my cigarette a flick.
“She blames herself for every bad thing that’s happened in her life.”
My heart twinges with pain for Kins. I don’t like knowing she’s felt even a fraction of the soul-crushing guilt that I have.
Not knowing what to say, and still not quite comfortable with Olivia, I change the subject.
“What was she like in college?”
“Gosh…” This time I can hear the emotion in her laughter, as wistful as it is.
While I wait for her to answer, I look over at Royce and Atticus who are in the middle of their own conversation.
I didn’t even think about how it would make me feel to have some of my brothers here with me. I’m surprised by how much it means to me. I took on the pain of watching my mother wither on my own. If I would have known it would have made it even a fraction easier to endure if I let one of them be there for me … I would have.
It also gives me a sense of relief to know that all the shit that’s been going on recently between Royce and me isn’t anything we can’t overcome.
“It’s weird. She was exactly like she is now, all uptight and professional and gloomy. But on the rare occasion you could get her to relax, she was absolutely the life of the party.”
Listening to Olivia describe McKinsey brings a genuine smile to my face, even if it doesn’t make waiting any easier.
“Sophomore year, we attended this one social that was hands down the most boring event I’ve ever been to. We were trying to get out of it, but it was one of those situations where it wasn’t exactly mandatory, but you would be shunned if you didn’t go.”
Taking a final drag of my cigarette, I put it out on the brick wall.
“Well, McKinsey disappeared on us for a while. I was pissed at first because I thought she’d found a way out and didn’t tell me. But when she resurfaced ten minutes later, she had about twenty minis of liquor on her. They were in her bra, her pockets… She shoved some in her socks. I think she even pulled one out of her underwear.”
My laugh mixes in with hers, and I catch Atticus listening intently to Olivia from where he’s sitting.
“A handful of us were able to enjoy the rest of the night quite well thanks to her. To this day, I still don’t know where she got them from.”
“I like hearing that about her. She’s relaxed a little in the past month, but I can tell there are times when she’s holding on to something. Afraid to let herself go.”
“Yeah…” Olivia nods in agreement, growing quiet. It feels like she wants to say more, but isn’t sure how much to tell me. “She … protects herself really well. Too well sometimes.”
“What do you mean?”
Taking a deep breath, she looks at me again. “She sets some pretty rigid boundaries for people at times.”
“You’re talking about her mother?”
“For starters.” She laughs again.
“Should we call her?” I shrug when Olivia looks at me with hesitation. “I mean, this situation with Kins has blown up considerably. She should know what’s going on.”
“Let’s at least wait until we have more information. Cheryl will only worry more if we can’t give her any details.”
My eyebrows raise in question at the name. It’s not familiar to me.
“Cheryl is her mother.” Olivia clarifies for me.
“Oh.” McKinsey hasn’t uttered her name once to me this whole time.
“What has she told you about her mother anyway?”
“Not too much. Just that she’s clingy and overbearing, and I’m not allowed to disclose any personal information about McKinsey to her. Not that I’ve met her. Kins doesn’t really like the idea of introducing us.”
“Yeah, that sounds about right.” Olivia’s mouth quirks on one side then the other as though she’s considering her next words. “Deep down, I don’t think Cheryl is unsafe . If she was, McK would have cut her off like she did her father— Shit. You know about that, right?”
She looks at me like she just broke girl code or something.
“That was actually the first thing she ever told me about herself. We’d just finished therapy…” If by therapy , I really mean having amazing fucking sex. “I’d shared a lot, and … I don’t know. I guess I just needed to hear something about her, too.”
“How long ago was this?”
“About a month ago, when our sessions first started.”
“Huh…” Olivia’s mouth hangs open slightly, seemingly surprised to hear this. “That’s… Wow.”
“What is it?”
“It’s just… I clearly underestimated how much she liked you at the time.”
I can feel my cheeks burn as I take in this information.
“Well, anyway… Cheryl just made a series of horrible decisions after McK’s dad left. In a way, I feel bad for her. She thought he was the love of her life. I can’t imagine what it feels like to lose the person you love most in this world. But in another way, I want to travel back in time and shake the shit out of her for not being stronger for McK’s sake.”
I don’t exactly hear the rest of the story, stuck on something she just said, unable to think about anything else.
I can only imagine what it feels like to lose the person you love most in this world.
I think about my mom and how she must have felt, losing my father.
Her husband.
I remember how much his death affected me, and I can only imagine she felt that loss tenfold.
And then I think about Kins.
Lying in this hospital in God only knows what kind of condition.
A chill slithers over my body.
Olivia seems to think Kins fell quickly for me based on the fact that she told me about her father so early on.
Well, she wasn’t the only one to fall hard and fast.
And the thought of losing her before we ever get a shot at writing our own love story brings back every ounce of fear and pain I felt the moment I saw her unconscious on the bathroom floor.