Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
Logan
A first kiss is magic, the moment the world stops spinning
and everything feels perfectly still, a taste of forever in a single touch.
~ Raymond Chandler
I dozed off on the couch. It’s been quite a week between work, the disaster in Olivia’s apartment, and the weight of realizing everything she means to me.
I wake to repeated knocking on my door.
It’s dark out.
Rhett is spinning in circles in front of the door, barking and jumping at the knob.
“Who is it?” I shout on my way to the door.
“It’s me! Logan? It’s Olivia!”
I open the door and she’s panting, holding her chest as if she raced here from somewhere, which is ridiculous since she only lives across the building from me.
“Hi.” Olivia looks up at me.
“Hi. Are you okay? Is everything alright?”
“Yes. No. I am. But totally not. Don’t worry.”
She’s still out of breath.
“So you are okay, but not, and I shouldn’t worry?”
Olivia nods. “Mm-hmm.”
She’s staring up at me as if she’s seeing me for the first time ever. I can’t decipher the expression on her face. And then she does the most unexpected thing.
She wraps her arms around my waist and hugs me.
“Thank you!” Her words sound muffled against my chest. “Thank you!”
She steps back, looking up at me and smiling.
“For what?”
I told our landlord to keep my call a secret. I thought Olivia might consider me overbearing or overstepping or over … something. But I wanted to do that for her. I want to do everything for her. Getting her apartment repaired is the least of what I’d do for her. I guess Steve, our building manager, couldn’t help himself. He just had to spill the fact that I called.
Olivia’s voice is soft. Her brown eyes meet mine, a tenderness in her expression I’ve never seen before. Then her hand raises to cup my jaw.
Am I dreaming?
“For what you did for Lynette. Thank you.”
“I’m going to kill Gil,” I say under my breath.
“Don’t. I sort of cornered him. I dragged it out of him, I promise.”
“Your hand is on my face.”
“I’m sorry,” she starts to pull it away, but I place my hand over hers, keeping it in place.
“No. Don’t be. I’m not complaining. I just wasn’t sure you knew.”
“I’ve been so wrong about you.” She shakes her head as if she’s ashamed of herself.
“I gave you reason to think the worst of me—for years.”
Olivia looks up at me, her eyes flitting between mine and then down to my lips.
“You are the best man I know.”
“Because I paid three months of your sister’s rent?”
“No.” She shakes her head. “Not because you paid her rent. Because you possess the kind of generosity and humility that would lead you to do something so unbelievably selfless, and you didn’t even want me to know.”
“I did it for you.” My voice is careful. I’m still not fully convinced I’m awake, though Olivia’s gentle touch to my cheek makes it pretty clear I am. “I wanted to ease your stress over her situation.”
“I know,” she says. “I know.”
And then her other hand reaches up and rests on my opposite cheek, so she’s cupping my face. She gives the slightest tug and pulls my face toward hers.
I lean in, placing my hand behind her neck.
Our foreheads gently come together. Her breath is still shallow and quick. I feel my heartbeat race, threatening to thump out of my chest.
“Are you going to kiss me, Alexander?” Olivia whispers into the space between us.
“I was going to ask you the same thing,” I tease her.
She smiles and our eyes connect.
Olivia’s thumbs trace the stubble on my cheeks as her hands grip my face.
I run a hand through her hair, wrapping my other arm behind her back and tugging her toward me. Our noses brush. I watch her eyes flutter shut. I close mine, breathing into the space between us.
We’ll never have another first kiss. I’m both eager and hesitant. Nervous and exhilarated.
I lean toward her and I brush my lips carefully across hers. It’s the faintest of caresses.
I briefly open my eyes. Olivia’s are still shut. She hums, and a soft smile breaks across her face. I kiss each eyelid and then align my mouth with hers and kiss her again. This time, I don’t brush past her. Our mouths connect, tender and reverent. Her hands leave my cheeks, and she runs her fingers through my hair. Her hands rest on my shoulders, gripping me as our kiss builds. This kiss has been brewing for at least fourteen years. All the passion and fire we usually reserve for our rivalry has found its way into this kiss. She’s leveling me.
“I knew it,” Olivia says between kisses.
“What’s that?” I ask, kissing her cheek, dragging my lips toward her neck.
She shudders and collapses slightly into me.
“You kiss like you do everything else.”
I chuckle softly, bringing my mouth back to hers. We kiss again.
“And how do I do everything else?”
“Perfectly,” she says with a sigh. And then she’s kissing me again.
She pulls back, running her pointer finger along the center of my brow line and across each eyebrow.
“These,” she says, “are very deceptive.”
I look at her sideways, pressing gently on her back with my palm to remind her she’s still in my arms.
“How so?” I ask.
“You raise them when you know you’re right.”
“Do I?”
“And it makes you seem more self-righteous than you are.”
I purposely pull them down into a furrow, and she giggles.
“All this time,” she nearly whispers. “You were right here.”
“But I chased you away.” I confess the truth of my inadvertent actions.
I search her eyes, running the back of my hand along her hairline and down her cheek.
“You didn’t do a very good job at that.” She smirks up at me. “I’m still right here.”
I kiss her forehead. “You are. Miraculously. Do you want to actually come in? Or did you just come here to thank me, give me the best kiss of my life, and leave me paralyzed and overwhelmed in the hallway?”
Rhett suddenly barks at our feet. I completely forgot he was here. And he, in an unusual display, didn’t demand to be center stage. It’s as though he sensed the importance of this moment between Olivia and me .
“Come into your place?” she asks with a smile on her face.
“Or we could stand in the hallway kissing. Totally up to you.”
“I’d love to come over. I’m actually craving ice cream,” she says. “Do you have any?”
“I do. At least three flavors. And toppings.”
She runs her hand along my jaw again. I turn her palm up and place a kiss on it.
“I did come to thank you,” she says, looking up into my eyes. “I didn’t plan to kiss you.”
“I definitely planned to kiss you,” I confess. “I just didn’t know when.”
“You planned to kiss me? Since when?”
“Ever since our dance the other night … or maybe since I saw you at Barnes that first week I worked there … or the day Jacob and I bumped into you and I discovered you were my neighbor. No. Come to think of it, I probably had the inclination after you gave that speech in our Principles of Marketing class at BU. Nope. It was definitely when you crossed the finish line after our race against Strathmore High during our Sophomore year. You were glorious. Your form was absolute perfection?—”
“You’ve wanted to kiss me since tenth grade?” Her tone is incredulous.
“Maybe I wasn’t always aware of how badly, but yes. You have always had a pull on me, Olivia. And I just recently realized how strong that pull is. I came to my senses Saturday—when you were in my arms at the reunion.”
“Our dance.” She smiles up at me.
“Yes. Our dance.”
She smiles shyly at me. “I’m going to change out of my work clothes and get into some sweats.”
“I’ll dish up your ice cream.”
“I’ll be right back,” she says with a smile.
“I’ll be here waiting.”
I watch her walk toward her apartment until she passes through the lounge, turns the corner and disappears out of my sight.