49. Chapter 48
Chapter 48
Doug
I hadn’t meant to propose to her in the same breath as telling her I loved her for the first time. In a fucking ice cream shop, no less. Sure, I’d meant to confess how I felt, quietly, privately, but I hadn’t intended on telling her I wanted to be her husband or Chase’s father. Not yet anyway.
And I sure as hell hadn’t intended on practically screaming, I’m sterile, to a room full of strangers.
In a fucking ice cream shop.
I was the guy who tried to shrink down and hide behind a monitor in high school. The guy who sat back and observed during parties. I was quiet. Reserved. Shy.
What was I thinking, asking Chase to bring her someplace public?
Christ, I hope no one recorded or live streamed it . The last thing I wanted was for it to go viral. Beth and Chase had been through enough recently; they didn’t need the added notoriety that comes with going viral in a small town.
I’ll write a program and scour the internet .
I was an idiot. I’d walked into an ice cream shop carrying a gigantic bouquet of red roses, then sat staring at the door, obviously nervous—and thought no one would notice.
In a fucking ice cream shop!
Anyone who noticed probably hung around, hoping to see some big romantic proposal, like a scene from a movie. Instead, they got a six-foot-four redhead impatiently yelling about his failures as a man.
Just fucking great .
I thought I’d fucked up six ways to Sunday, but Beth thought it was romantic, like something out of her favorite rom-com. While I was thrilled she didn’t hate me for teaming up with Chase and surprising her, I didn’t love being compared to a rom-com.
I wanted to be romantic. I didn’t want to be a comedian. It wasn’t who I was. No one called me the life of the party. I liked to think of myself as calm, cool, and collected. Some called me serious, others stoic. Both suited me.
At dinner, Beth and I got to hear Chase’s telling of the day’s events on repeat. He told the story out of order, and with a few embellishments that raised my eyebrows. One thing remained the same; he was the hero in every version. I couldn’t disagree there. He called me at the office to find out why I hurt his mom, helped me plan the surprise, played his role getting her to the shop, and kept our secret. He deserved a cape.
I took a good long look at Chase while we ate, trying to imagine what he’d look like as a teenager. It wasn’t hard, having seen pictures of Phil and knowing Chase looked just him. He’ll be a good-looking kid. And with his good heart and protective instincts he’d be very popular with the ladies.
Beth and I finally had a chance to talk after dinner. She told me she didn’t think any less of me because of my limitation. I must have looked uncertain because she listed all the things that made me a man.
I did my best to control the feelings bubbling up inside but lost it when she told me I wasn’t just a good man, I was a great one. For the first time in a long time, I truly felt like one.
“That’s why I love you,” she said.
I’d been resisting the urge to kiss her all evening because Chase was glued to our sides right up until Beth put him to bed.
No reason to resist the temptation now . I reached over and stroked her cheek with the back of my hand before saying, “Thank you.” Then I wrapped my hand around her neck and gently pulled her towards me while I leaned in.
When our lips were half a breath away from touching, I paused and whispered, “I love you.” Then I kissed her, pouring every ounce of love I had for her into the kiss, claiming her as I gave myself to her.
#
The last two days had been a whirlwind. I’d kept myself extra busy at work, scouring the internet for videos of my embarrassing outburst. So far, I hadn’t found any. Thank God .
I spent today counting down the hours until I could go to Beth’s. We were having dinner together again tonight. After Chase went to bed, Beth and I would make out like teenagers on the couch, like we had every other night since getting back together. Though I hadn’t spent the night, yet.
We’d decided it was best to wait awhile before I started staying the night, wanting to take things slow, for Chase’s sake.
Last night, we finally talked about my impromptu, half-assed proposal. I told her I hadn’t actually meant to say it, at least not yet and not like that.
She understood. In the end, we decided to have a long pre-engagement. When I asked if she wanted a ring, she laughed and said, “we’re not there yet.”
What a relief . It wasn’t because I didn’t love her or want to marry her, but things were moving so fast it was making me dizzy. I was the kind of guy who needed time to think, research, and plan. I’d jumped headfirst into this relationship based on nothing but raw emotion. I didn’t have any regrets or doubts—I just needed some time to adjust.
My relief must have shown on my face because Beth asked, “Are you having second thoughts?”
“No. Not at all.” Then I confessed what I’d been thinking.
“Thanks for telling me. Now I know it’s weird for both of us to be moving so fast.” She squeezed my hand.
I’d expected the conversation to be awkward. But thankfully, we were on the same page and the conversation wasn’t just relaxed, it was fun as Beth joked about what Mary and Meg’s reactions would be.
When the visual of John dragging me into his office to interrogate me popped into my head, I burst out laughing. Then, in a move totally not like me, I acted it out for Beth.
Beth brought out parts of me I didn’t know I had. I always felt awkward and insecure, and had hidden behind a wall of aloofness.
Not anymore.
And it’s all Beth’s fault.
#
Friday was a crazy day at work, and I was looking forward to our monthly gaming session at Jamie’s. I was disappointed I wouldn’t see Beth, but she’d be at the monthly Craft and Booze night so even if I didn’t have plans, I wouldn’t get to see her.
Chase was excited he’d get to spend the night with Uncle John and tell him all about what happened at the ice cream shop, again. Please, God, don’t let him mention the sterility part. It was a prayer I found myself repeating daily.
We’d hoped to keep the blip in our relationship to ourselves, but Chase hadn’t been quiet when he whisper-yelled to Meg how he’d saved the day by getting Beth and I back together. Which meant everyone in the area heard him, and anyone who hadn’t, heard it through the grapevine as the day went on.
Thanks, Kid . It was going to take some getting used to; having a kid around to hear, and repeat, everything.
There’d been a few raised eyebrows, and even more questions, but I’d managed to put off answering most of them.
I couldn’t avoid them tonight. I hadn’t even closed the door behind me before Jamie, Jack, and AJ cornered me. They fired questions at me faster than Robin Hood shot arrows.
“Damn, at least let me crack open a beer.” I laughed.
More than one eyebrow raised as I brushed past them, towards the fridge.
Chris, Jamie’s best friend and Emily’s big brother, arrived as I popped the cap off my beer.
“Doug, you remember Chris?”
“Yeah,” I answered as I walked back into the living room, “How’s it going?”
He shook my hand. “Can’t complain.”
We made small talk for a few minutes before AJ said, “Don’t think you’re getting out of it so easily, Sharpe. Fess up.”
I summed up the events in the ice cream parlor, leaving out the details of why we split up and the part about my issues. I had a feeling it would get out eventually, but so far it was still a secret.
“Are you really engaged?” Jack asked. Chase was loudest when he told everyone I wanted to be his dad, and Beth’s husband. He’d even gone so far as to tell Meg he’d walk his mom down the aisle just like he did for her. My heart had almost exploded with joy as I watched; I wanted me to be his dad as much as he did.
“We’ve decided to have a long pre-engagement since we’ve been dating less than two months.”
“Good for you,” AJ said, clapping me on the back.
“Congrats.” Jack shook my hand. “I gotta say, happy looks good on you.”
“Thanks. It feels good.”
Chris added his congratulations.
“You’re a lucky guy. Beth’s a great woman.” Jamie shook my hand before pulling me into a one-armed hug. “And Chase is a great kid.”
“I am.” I felt like a new man. “I never could have guessed how much my life would change when I took the job at SSI. There hasn’t been a single moment I’ve regretted leaving everything behind in Chicago.”
“Dude, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say so many words at once, or sound so alive.” AJ saved me from waxing too poetic.
“Thanks, I think.” I shrugged; grateful he’d interrupted me. I wasn’t used to being the center of attention.
“Do you think you’ll move in with her?” Jamie asked.
“Not yet. We’re going slow because of Chase.”
“He seems eager for you to be his dad,” Jack added.
I was pretty sure I blushed when I smiled. The curse of being a redhead. If I’m lucky, it isn’t visible under my tan.
We talked for a few more minutes while we waited for the pizza to arrive. After a year in Weatherford, these guys were no longer just colleagues, they were friends.
We cracked open another round of beer after cleaning up—Meg would kill us if she came home to a messy kitchen—then sat down to play.
You’d think we wouldn’t want to spend hours playing violent video games given our histories, but we found it relaxing. And we weren’t killing humans, we were killing aliens who were hell bent on destroying humans.
During one particularly chaotic scene I unleashed hell and obliterated a room full of aliens.
“Damn, Sharpe, you cleared that room faster than you proposed to Beth,” AJ said, his voice laced with respect and humor.
“Maybe next time you could slow down and let the rest of us have some fun,” Jamie added.
“We can’t wait for you Jamie, you’re as slow at killing the enemy as you are at proposing to Emily.” AJ was on a roll. He was the resident SSI funny man, and now the only eligible bachelor.
“Only compared to Doug.” Jamie defended himself.
“And Jack,” I added. He’d proposed to Meg three months after meeting her. “If I remember correctly, Jack blurted out his proposal too,” I said, trying to turn the focus away from me.
“But I didn’t do it in an ice cream shop.”
Touché. He’d proposed here, last New Year’s Eve. Jamie, AJ, and I had been here, but it was still, more or less, a private proposal.
Jamie had a lop-sided grin on his face, a family trait he shared with John and Jack. Does Jaden have it too ?
“Who would have thought Doug would get engaged before you?” AJ asked, sarcasm dripping from his voice as he egged Jamie on.
“Yeah, about that…” Jamie’s grin spread into a toothy smile.
We didn’t bother acting like we didn’t know what he’d just implied. We demanded to know when, and asked if he had anything romantic planned.
“Well, I thought about blurting it out in an ice cream shop, but Doug beat me to it.”
More laughing and clinking of beer bottles. If you’d told me six months ago I’d be laughing at jokes made at my expense after a humiliating experience, I would have called you crazy. But here I am, doing just that .
“I’m taking her out next Friday.”
“So, if she says yes,” Jamie blanched at AJ’s use of the word if, “you’ll be engaged before the Hallo-”
“Dude, don’t listen to him. You have nothing to worry about, she’ll say yes.” Jack put Jamie at ease.
The color returned to Jamie’s face.
Figuring Jamie was as uncomfortable being the center of attention as I was, I said, “Let’s go kill some aliens.”