Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
Cassius
I pick Chrissy up from school on Tuesday. We grab ice cream, as we have been doing because she’s obsessed, and then she asks me to stop at the trailer so she can go through her clothes again because she can’t find her favorite T-shirt.
Everything is going great. We’re on time. She’s digging through her clothes and finding more things she wants to take. I do the same while we wait.
“Aha!” she says, turning to me with a grin as she holds up the T-shirt. It was one of mine. Something I’d found at a thrift store. A Green Day band shirt that I thought would make me cool because it looked like I’d gone to the concert… as if I could ever afford tickets then.
She gathers her clothes into her arms and we leave the room. The front door opens before we reach it.
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” the witch barks. Her pupils are little pin pricks—she’s high as hell.
“I’m going with Cassius,” Chrissy says in a small voice.
“The fuck you are!” she shouts, stepping closer.
I step forward, moving between the two of them, because if she hits Chrissy, I will kill her.
“And what the fuck do you think you’re going to do?” she huffs at me. “You don’t live here no more, I thought.”
“Who said that?” I bark out.
She laughs, her cigarette breath making me gag.
“Oh please, boy, I ain’t stupid. I see what you've been doing here.”
“I want to go with Cass,” Chrissy adds, this time louder.
She’s never been the arguing type. She goes with what’s said, not wanting to cause problems or make the fighting worse.
“I don’t give a shit what you want. You’re twelve, you—”
“I’m fourteen,” Chrissy snaps.
“As if I don’t know how old my kid is. Shut the fuck up,” she spits.
“Hey!”
She looks at me, laughing. “Get out of my house, or I’ll call the cops.”
“Fuck you,” I growl.
All she does is smile.
I move past her, holding out my hand for Chrissy to take. She reaches it, but the witch slaps my arm away and moves between us.
“She ain’t going with you.”
“I want to go!” Chrissy yells.
“That’s too fucking bad! You’re my kid. You’re staying here.”
“She’s coming with me,” I say through gritted teeth.
“Oh yeah? You wanna take her.” She steps aside. “Go ahead. And I’ll call the cops to let them know that you kidnapped my daughter.”
“You—”
She smiles at me. “You want her? You can pay for her.”
“Excuse me?”
“Well, you’ve obviously got some kind of fancy nice job. Got all this fancy stuff. You tried to hide the car from me, but people around here talk. I know what you’re up to. You want this one? Pay me.”
“Fuck you!”
“It’s fine,” Chrissy says. “Just go, Cass. It’s okay.”
“The fuck it is!” I turn my gaze to my mother. “You let the insurance run out and she didn’t have her meds. She could have died. Do you even know the fucking meds she’s on? What are they called?”
“Don’t talk to me like that, you little shit!”
“How much money do you want?” I ask, my hands shaking.
“No, Cass,” Chrissy says. “Don’t give her anything,” she mutters.
“How much?”
The witch smiles at me.
“Actually, I changed my mind.” She steps up to me. “Now get the fuck out of my trailer.”
I grit my teeth, my hands balling into fists.
“You’re going to fucking regret this,” I hiss.
“Get out of my house!” she screeches, then lunges at me. I hurry outside before she shoves me and this turns into more—like murder. “Get the fuck out of here and don’t come back. I’ll call the cops if you do!”
“Chrissy, I will fix this!” I say, looking at her from the bottom of the porch. Even from here I can see the tears pouring down her face. “If you hurt one hair on her head, I will fucking murder you,” I seethe, holding our mother’s gaze.
She just laughs.
I call Cammy as soon as I’m in the car. She doesn’t answer, so I call back.
Still no answer. I figure she must be busy with customers, so I drive while I wait for her to call me back, hoping it’ll help me cool off.
I don’t have much time before I have to go to Harmon’s, but I waste as much time as I can trying to calm down.
I’m not only angry, I’m stressed out. I’m scared.
I want to call Chrissy to make sure she’s okay, but I’m afraid she doesn’t have the ringer on silent and that witch will hear it and take it.
I could get her another, it’s not that serious, but that could be the only lifeline I have to Chrissy for a while.
Also, giving the witch a phone is the same as giving her money and she doesn’t deserve that.
I just have to wait for Chrissy to reach out to me.
I don’t believe for one second that my mother won’t call the cops and say I kidnapped Chrissy.
Of course, Chrissy and I would both deny it, but she’d still have to go back.
The witch would keep doing it just to be a petty bitch, and eventually I’d end up in some real trouble over it. She fights dirty and my hands are tied.
My phone rings the moment I park in Harmon’s driveway with two minutes to spare. I answer it because I have to let Cammy know what’s going on.
“The witch was at the house when Chrissy and I went there, and she wouldn’t let her leave with me.”
“What?” she shouts.
“I’m so fucking stressed out, Cammy. I don’t know what to do. What if she hurts her? What if she stresses her out and sends her into a seizure?”
“I’m leaving work,” she says.
“To do what?”
“To go there!”
“You’re only going to piss her off.”
“I don’t fucking care.”
“Please, do not get yourself arrested or in more trouble.”
“I am not leaving Chrissy there with her alone. Not when she’s in a bad mood like this.”
“She was high as fuck. Hopefully she’ll forget about it tomorrow. She fucking…” I swallow hard. “She told me to pay for her.”
“She did what?”
“She fucking told me to pay for Chrissy if I wanted her.” I hold back the tears. “What is wrong with her?”
“God, I fucking hate her,” she hisses. “I’ll call you later.”
“I can’t answer until after work.”
“Yeah, I know, but…”
“But what?”
“Maybe see if there is an emergency number or something? What if…” She sighs. “Just see if there is somewhere I can call in case I need you, okay? I promise I’ll try not to.”
“Okay, I will. Love you.”
“Love you, Cass. Just relax, okay? I’ll deal with her.”
I end the call, resting my head against the headrest. I give myself a moment to let the tears fall, then I wipe them away. When I open my eyes, Harmon is standing outside my window.
“Fuck,” I hiss as I turn the car off and grab my things. He steps out of the way so I can open the door. “I’m so sorry I’m late, I—”
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“Yeah. It’s family stuff. I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine.”
“I am.”
“If you need the day off—”
“I don’t,” I grit out.
Would it help? No, not really. I’d only go over there and piss my mother off more and make this situation worse. Needing to be here helps. It’s giving me a responsibility. It occupies me.
I move around Harmon and head inside. I feel him walking after me and hear his quick footsteps.
“Cassius, you can talk to me,” he says.
“I don’t need to,” I say as I move toward my room.
He keeps following.
“Can you stop for just a moment?” he pleads.
I stop outside my door and take a breath before turning to face him.
“I will be fine once I change. I promise this isn’t going to ruin your day.”
He frowns. “I’m not worried about my day being ruined, and it’s concerning that you think that.”
“I…” I grit my teeth and look away. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
Harmon puts his hand on my shoulder, moving closer. His hand goes to my neck, then up to my jaw where he forces me to look at him.
“I will never put this before anything you need. I hope you know that. If you need a day, you can take it. I will understand.”
“I will be fine,” I say, my bottom lip wobbling as more tears begin to fall.
I see something in his eyes that I don’t like—a mix of understanding and pity maybe.
“Okay.” He nods. “I’ll see you in the dining room then.”
The moment I step into my room, I remember.
“Harmon!” He turns. “Uh, sorry. I mean Master…”
“Harmon is fine here,” he says, walking back to me. “What do you need?”
“If my sisters need to get in touch with me, for an emergency, where can they call?”
“Give them my phone number. I will make sure to answer it,” he says simply.
“Th-thank you.”
I hurry into my room before the tears fall.
He’s being so nice to me today, and it’s not that he usually isn’t, but it’s different. It’s not just kindness, it’s sympathy.
He’d told me from the beginning he didn’t want to get into personal things, yet he’s offering to help me with them.
I never thought he was an asshole, but I could tell he was a stern man.
You don’t become the CEO of a place like his by being nice to everyone.
He has boundaries and was firm on sticking to them… but this feels like he’s crossing them.
I quickly send Cammy Harmon’s number and let her know to make sure she puts it in Chrissy’s phone as soon as she can and let her know to use it if she needs. I’m mad at myself for not thinking of this before. I should have been prepared…
After changing, I sit on the bed and breathe. I take deep breaths and let them out, trying to get into the right head space for this. I will be fine when I go out there. I will be. I have to be. Everything is fine. If Cammy needs me, she can call Harmon.
I just want to be okay. I’m tired of not being okay but pretending that I am.
I’m already a few minutes late, so I hurry out of the room and to the kitchen. Harmon isn’t waiting in the dining room when I get there, which gives me a bit of relief. I get everything on the tray and set up his food at the table, then kneel in my spot beside his chair.
I focus on the table, on the plates and the cup and the silverware.
I spell out the words in my head. I read the letters on the bottle of whiskey.
I do everything I can to keep my mind busy, and when Harmon walks through the door, my mind goes blank.
I sit up straighter, take a deep breath, and wait… I wait for him to tell me what to do.
Everything is easier when he tells me what to do.
Harmon takes his seat and begins to eat, feeding me a bite now and then. I don’t want it, far from it, but I take it because he’s telling me to. And when I’m here with him, I do everything he tells me to. It’s easier that way.
“Leave the dishes,” he says, putting the napkin on the table. “Follow me.”
I follow after him down the hall and into the sitting room. The fireplace is already going, the lights dim. He goes to his spot on the couch, and I move to mine.
“Not today,” he says. “Come here.”
He pats the couch beside him.
“Lie down,” he instructs, then pats his lap. “Put your head here.”
The relief that washes over me is overwhelming. It’s not that I wasn’t prepared to kneel and listen to him, but this… he knows what I need and he’s giving it to me.
I lie on my side, resting my head on his thigh and immediately close my eyes. His hand goes to my head, gentle fingers brushing through my hair.
“Part of my job as your Master is to make sure you’re okay.
Though you say you are, I don’t believe you.
I can sense that you’re stressed, and you’re too used to feeling that way.
It’s my duty to make sure you’re okay, or this will never work.
I can’t have you resenting me for pushing you too hard, and I don’t want to make you feel worse either.
I want this to be a safe space for both of us.
This should make both of us feel better, and…
” He pauses. “I know this was a job for you, and I know I went about it that way on purpose, but I feel like… I feel like maybe things are settling in differently for us. That you’re getting more out of this than the paycheck. Am I right?”
I nod slowly, his fingers still brushing through my hair. With each second that passes, each word he speaks, my heart rate slows and my muscles relax.
“I’m so glad to hear that, Cassius, because this is more to me too. I can’t explain it, but it’s… more.”
“Why does it have to be like this?” I ask, my voice low.
“It’s just how it has to be.”
“Because of your work?”
“Yes,” he says simply. But then he adds, “That’s a lie. It has nothing to do with work. I’d like to tell you the truth but only if you want to hear it.”
“I’d love to hear it.”