Chapter Thirty-Two
Cassius
Harmon keeps his hand on my lower back as we make our way to the elevators.
He fucked me harder than usual over his desk, and I’m sore.
I don’t regret a thing and wouldn’t change a thing.
It felt different, like he was putting more into it.
His frustrations maybe. It would make sense that he would feel that way at work and want to fuck me harder.
I’m not complaining. Maybe we should do this more often.
Office trips could be a normal thing. I wouldn’t hate it.
Harmon presses the button for the bottom floor, and stands beside me, his elbow brushing mine.
The elevator stops on the thirty-third floor, which is where I met with the lawyer.
“Good evening, Mr. Stone,” the secretary says.
I remember her from when I met with Mr. Kohler. She was nice.
“Evening, Wendy. How are you?”
“Better now,” she says, giving him a bright smile. She stands close to him, closer than needed. I shift on my feet, clearing my throat, but neither notice. “Do you have any plans?”
“Just going home.”
“Aw, that’s too bad.”
“It’s quite all right,” he says.
“You don’t get lonely?”
My skin is crawling, but he’s as cool as a cucumber. I’m sure he deals with this sort of thing all the time. Handsome man with power and money? Yeah, he definitely deals with this all the time. Which only makes me more antsy.
I am not the kind of man that Harmon would have more with, if he allowed himself to have more.
I am not part of this world. I’m not… Wendy.
And I guess the only saving grace there is that she has a vagina and I’m sure Harmon isn’t interested in that.
But I’m sure there are versions of Wendy out there with a cock that he could enjoy.
“I enjoy the quiet,” is his response.
We reach the bottom floor and the elevator doors open. Harmon gestures for her to go first. Once we’re through the glass door and into the garage, she turns to look at him and says, “If you ever change your mind, you know where to find me. Good night, Mr. Stone.”
“Night, Wendy,” he says politely.
As we make our way toward our cars, I can’t help but think about the fact that when people talk to Harmon, they look right through me.
Wendy did it just now, on the entire elevator ride. She didn’t say a single word to me. Didn’t even look my way. She only had eyes for him.
Same thing happened with Oliver in the cafeteria.
He didn’t even acknowledge me. With him, I assumed it was a work thing, but if he was leaving for the night, the least he could do was say good bye, or good night.
All I got was a quick flick of his eyes, and that was probably an automatic reaction that he didn’t realize he was doing.
And with Wendy? She doesn’t work for him, so that wasn’t it.
No, it’s that people don’t see me as worthy of something, so they look right past me.
“Cassius?”
“Hm?” I look up.
“Isn’t this your car?” He gestures toward the car we passed a few spots ago.
“Oh, yeah.” I give him a smile and move that way, but he puts his arm up, stopping me.
“Are you okay?” he steps closer, lowering his voice.
“Fine.”
I step back, wanting space between us.
“Don’t do that,” he says, moving closer again.
“Don’t want people to get the wrong idea.” I take a step back.
He frowns, then looks around. “There’s no one here.”
“There are cameras. And, uh…” I lift up on my toes to look over his shoulder. “Wendy is down that way.”
His eyes narrow before they fill with understanding.
“I’ve never been with her.”
“I don’t care.”
“Yes, you do.”
“I don’t.”
He gets into my space again, this time putting his hand on my hip, his voice low and even. “She’s been trying for years, but I’m not interested.”
“Why not?”
“You know why.”
“Because she won’t submit for you?”
“Because she’s not a man,” he says firmly, his eyes holding mine steadily.
I know that, but obviously I’m looking for a fight now. Though, I couldn’t tell you why. Things were going so well…
“So that’s the only requirement then?” I ask, fighting back the emotion clogging my throat.
His eyes search mine. “Where is this coming from?”
Gritting my teeth, I let out a breath. “Nothing. Nowhere. I’m just tired.”
He stares at me as if he doesn’t believe me, then steps even closer so we’re an inch apart.
“If I could—” He takes a breath and lets it out slowly. “If I could be in a relationship, Cassius, it would be with someone like you.”
I clench my jaw even tighter, huffing a laugh through my nose. “Someone like me?”
“God damnit,” he growls, gripping my hip to the point of pain. “You know what I mean.”
I shake my head, wondering how we even got here.
“You said you were fine with this,” he adds, his eyes pleading.
“I am fine with it.”
He leans in closer.
“You’re a liar,” he whispers.
“Yeah, well, doesn’t matter, does it?”
“Of course it matters. I don’t want this… I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Then don’t.”
“That’s what the rules are supposed to be for.”
“But you keep stomping all over them.”
His eyes drop to my mouth. “I can’t help myself.”
His arm tightens around my waist. “Come home with me.”
“What?”
“Come home with me. Right now. Stay the night.”
“What?” I ask again.
“You heard me,” he growls.
“I can’t, Harmon. I have to bring Chrissy to school in the morning.”
“We’ll drop your car off at your house.”
“Cammy doesn’t drive.”
“I’ll send a car.”
“You’ll send—what?”
“Cassius. Stay with me tonight,” he repeats, bringing his lips a hair from mine. “Fuck the rules.”
I’m torn. So torn.
Between wanting him and needing this job. The lines are so blurry I can’t even make them out. I don’t know what this means and how to navigate this.
What he’s asking me… what does it mean?
Yes, he’s been breaking rules, and so have I, but there was still a small line there. A line that I knew I couldn’t cross. A wall that I kept up to keep my feelings in check, knowing that if I fell, it would never be reciprocated because he can’t cross that line.
But now that he has? Now that he’s saying these things, that wall has shattered.
He’s giving me hope. A chance. For what? I don’t know. An actual relationship? Could that work with us? Everything else has worked, but what would a different dynamic look like?
Maybe we need to try this without the rules.
Maybe we need natural, rough sex. A friends-with-benefits situation, like I did with Abe.
Maybe this isn’t going into relationship territory, not in a domestic type of way.
Maybe we need to do this without the rules, and that’s it. It could fix everything…
I haven’t thought of me and Harmon having a life together, that’s not where I’m at.
But I have thought about him in the middle of the night, wishing he was around.
I’ve woken up, wishing he was there next to me.
He’s on my mind often. We had a great time in New York at the play and staying in the same hotel room together, despite sleeping in separate rooms. We can coexist together, we’ve proven that.
The sex is great. We can hold a conversation. We work well together.
But I’ve stopped myself from allowing myself to think there could be more, not only because of the rules, I’ll admit.
But because of the money.
How would we ever move forward with a relationship with him paying me?
It would never be natural, and the funny thing is, I doubt he’s even thinking about it.
I doubt he’s missing the money he gives me or even recalls it because it doesn’t mean anything to him.
But to me? That money is everything. It’s my lifeline.
“How did we get here?” I ask.
“I don’t know,” he answers. “But I can’t keep caring. All I know is that I want you with me. You make me feel better, and I want you...”
I search his pleading eyes. “You’ll send a car?”
“Of course.”
“I need to call my sister.”
He nods and steps back. I take my phone from my back pocket and pull up Cammy’s contact to call her. I hold Harmon’s gaze as I bring the phone to my ear, and as it starts to ring, I give him my back.
“Hey,” she answers. “You okay?”
“Yeah, fine. Uh, will you be okay if I don’t come home tonight?”
“Uh… okay?”
I lower my voice, taking a few steps. “Harmon asked me to stay the night.”
“Oh, well, then I guess you should probably stay. I’ll walk Chrissy—”
“He’s sending a car.”
“A car?”
“Yeah. He said he would send a car when I gave the excuse that I had to bring her to school.”
“Why are you giving him excuses? Isn’t this what you wanted?”
“I never said that.”
“Yeah, but I saw it in your eyes.”
“No, you didn’t,” I growl.
“Whatever you say, Cass. Chrissy and I will be fine. Have fun. Use lots of lube.”
“Cammy!” I hiss.
She cackles then ends the call. I let out a sharp breath, turn around and shrug.
“Let’s go to your place.”