Chapter 18 – Gavin
18
Don’t Cross Chihuahuas
Gavin
ALEXIS GOES COMPLETELY still, and I pause, a little worried I’m doing something she doesn’t like. Lifting my eyes to her face, I find her staring at me.
“What the fuck was that?” She’s breathless, and doesn’t seem put off, but I want to be sure.
“Like it?” My mouth is watering and I’m desperate to have her on my tongue, but I want her to enjoy everything about tonight. I need to make up for what I said. I need to show her how fucking sorry I am. That I’m better than that.
Even though I’m not sure I am.
Alexis nods, eyes wide. “Like it.”
I love how she’s not shy. How she stood in front of me, naked and proud. Like she was daring me to find her lacking.
As if that would ever fucking happen.
I haven’t always looked at her that way though. For years she was just Leo’s little sister. Someone to annoy and aggravate. Then she grew up and went to college and started dating some pecker who wasn’t good enough for her. She was so far out of Huge-nose’s league, they weren’t even playing the same game.
When he came around, it took everything I had not to punch him in his smug, weak-jawed face and throw him out on the lawn. I might have read more into it if Leo hadn’t felt the same. Since he hated Huge-nose as much as I did, it was easy to convince myself I was just feeling protective because Alexis was like a sister to me.
Obviously that was delusional bullshit. Just like me thinking I could stay away from her. I can’t. And I’m sick of trying.
“What about this?” I drag the flat of my tongue up her slit, stopping to flick against her clit before lifting my eyes to her face. “Like?”
I don’t really need to ask that question. I know she likes it, but I want to hear her say it. To me. To herself. I want Alexis to admit she likes what I do to her.
Because I want her to keep asking me to do it. I don’t want her going to assholes like Huge-nose or Dill-hole. I want her to come to me.
To come for me.
Alexis gives me a jerky nod, her blue eyes fused to mine. “Like.” Her thighs jerk as I tongue her again. “Like a lot.”
It’s exactly what I want to hear. What my pride and the jealous streak I’ve worked so hard to suppress need to hear. So I reward her.
Sealing my lips against her heated, slick flesh, I work her up quickly, hoping to prove myself. Determined to give her a reason to forgive me.
With her hands fisted in my hair, back arching to press those glorious tits higher in the air, my dick jerks in my pants, threatening to send me over the edge with her. But then my name erupts from her lips and the need to come is replaced with a different sort of satisfaction.
I’m the one who gave her that and she knows it.
Alexis slumps against the cushions, eyes glassy and dazed, limbs askew and boneless. Her full lips are parted as she fights to catch her breath, giving me time to offer the thighs just clamped at my ears a little attention. Her skin is soft and smooth against my tongue as I nip and tease my way toward her knees, kneading her muscles as I go.
“That was...” Alexis blinks a few times, still staring at me. “That was...”
“Amazing?” I’m happy to help her finish the sentence. “Fantastic?” My lips curve as I offer one more option. “Something you want to do again very soon?”
Alexis gives me a sly smile, lifting one shoulder. “I could be persuaded.”
“Then I guess it’s good I can be persuasive.” I want to keep touching her, kissing her, but she straightens, pulling herself from my grip as the soft, satiated expression on her face shifts to something that has my stomach clenching with dread.
“But I feel like we should have a conversation before things get too…” Again, she fails to finish the sentence.
This time, I’m not helping her out. Not when I’m afraid I know where she’s headed.
“Complicated.”
The upset trying to squirm through my insides stalls out. That’s not what I was expecting her to say. I was expecting something more like serious or involved . A word that would remind me this thing between us isn’t a thing at all.
Complicated is different. Complicated I can work with.
“We passed complicated the night you climbed into that treehouse, Al.” I run my hands over her skin, memorizing the curve of her hips. “Simplicity was gone the minute I touched you.”
Alexis pinches her lower lip between her teeth, watching the path of my touch as it slides past the dip of her waist up to lift the weight of her tits. “Is that why you were jealous of Dillon?”
If her fingers weren’t tangled in my T-shirt, pulling me closer, the sound of that prick’s name on her lips when she’s like this—naked and flushed—would have me jerking my dick until her skin was painted in my cum. In me .
Proving she will never be his.
But there’s no judgment in Al’s tone. The expression on her face is soft and gentle, devoid of the hostility I expected to receive over the way I acted. It makes me want to believe she could understand me. To believe that once again Alexis will prove herself to be as different as I think she is.
I shake my head. “No.” Wincing, I amend the statement. “It’s not the only reason I’m jealous of him.”
Alexis rubs her lips together, studying me for a minute. Then she tries to straighten away. “I feel like I should get dressed for this conversation.”
I don’t want her to walk away. I don’t want to give myself time to think over what I’m about to do. I’ll change my mind and go back to burying my shame. “Wait.” I shuck my shirt, immediately dragging it over her head. “You can wear this.” The solution solves two problems. It keeps her from giving me space I will fully take advantage of, and seeing her wearing something of mine soothes a little of the jealousy I need to explain.
Gently, I work the curls of her blonde hair free of the neckline, letting my fingers linger on the skin of her face. “You’re so beautiful.”
Al’s lips twist, making me hold my breath as I wait to see where they’ll end up. I never know with her. She’s as likely to smile as she is to frown, but the expression on her face doesn’t always go with what she feels. I’ve seen her scowl and roll her eyes over something I know damn well she found hilarious. I’ve also seen her smile when everything else on her face says she’s contemplating murder.
But this time, it all matches up when her full mouth tips into a hint of a smile. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me. Thank yourself.” I shift off my knees, pushing up onto the couch beside her. “I’ve seen your bathroom. I know all the work you put into looking the way you do.” I can’t resist lifting my hand to her face again, curving a section of hair behind the shell of one delicate ear. “But to be fair, you look just as good without all that.”
One of her eyebrows angles and the hint of a smile teasing at me flattens into a serious line. I know she’s pleased with my compliment, but Alexis gushing out emotion isn’t ever going to happen. She’s reserved. Serious.
Al’s eyes narrow. “You’re stalling.”
She’s also not afraid to call me out, but she’s calm when she does it. Collected. Nonreactive. She doesn’t feed the beast that lives inside me.
My chin tips in acknowledgment and agreement. “I am.” Letting out a long breath, I lean back against the sofa, scrubbing one hand over my face. “I don’t like to talk about this shit.”
Alexis tucks one leg up, turning to angle her body in my direction before resting the side of her face against the cushion next to me. “What shit?”
I swallow hard. “My parents.”
Al’s eyes move over my face for a few seconds, reading whatever she sees there before responding. “I always wondered why we never met them.”
My jaw tries to clench but I force it to relax. “You never met them because they’re not like your family.” I huff out a bitter laugh at the understatement of the century. “At all.”
“Yeah, well.” Alexis gives me a sad smile. “Right now my family isn’t much like my family either.”
I slide one hand onto her bare knee, giving it a gentle squeeze. “It’ll be okay. You guys love each other and everyone in the situation has good intentions.”
Again, Alexis studies me before responding. “Does that mean your parents didn’t have good intentions?”
That’s putting it lightly. “My parents were pretty much always out for themselves.” For a while, I didn’t see it. Not with my dad at least. I thought he was trying to help me through a shitty situation. Offering support and an explanation for the unraveling happening around me.
But his reasons for taking me under his wing were completely self-serving. He wanted me on his side. Wanted someone to tell him his words and actions were all justified and understandable. More than that, he wanted a kindred spirit. Someone who felt and thought exactly as he did.
“My parents were never happy together. I don’t know if they ever even liked each other. I think they only got married because of me.”
Alexis scoots a little closer, bringing her bent leg to rest against my thigh. “Is that why you were always over at our house? To get away from them?”
“Pretty much.” My free hand toys with her hair, giving me something else to focus on as I lay out the framework of my shame. “By the time I was a teenager, my mom had fully checked out. She was done with my dad and acted like she was single.”
Al’s eyes widen. “Your mom cheated on your dad?”
My fingers tighten around her knee and I force them to relax, pulling in a slow breath. “All the time, and it made him lose his fucking mind.”
One of Al’s hands comes to rest over mine. “I can imagine.”
She can’t though, and I wish I could promise she never would.
“The more she did it, the worse he got.” I close my eyes against the memory of how entrenched I became in their misery. “When I was learning to drive, he would take me out at night and we would go past all the places she liked to hang out.” I don’t want to continue, but I have to. Alexis deserves to know why I am the way I am. “Then we started following her. I knew it was wrong, but he was my dad, and he was so fucking miserable. I thought I was helping, but I wasn’t. I was just feeding it.”
And I’d continued feeding it for years. Yeah, it happened less and less, but it still happened. Every time I saw him, I would indulge his ranting. Listen as he spewed. Never once did I tell him he was wrong. Not a single time did I cut him off or tell him what a fucking embarrassment he was.
Because deep down, I knew chances were high I was exactly the same.
“Oh my God.” Al’s brows pinch as she stares at me, finally grasping just how fucked-up my formative years were. “That’s awful.”
I let her words sink in. Let them remind me why this can never be what I want it to be. “I shouldn’t have done it. I know that.”
Al’s head bobs back, eyes widening. “What? You aren’t the one at fault here.” There’s a hint of anger in her voice. “You were a kid. Your dad was taking advantage of that and using you for his own unhinged purposes.” She leans close to me, the soft curve of one tit pressing into my bicep as her fingers wrap around my hand, gripping it tight. “Your dad should never have put you in that position. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right. And you probably did the best thing by never bringing him around, because if I knew what he’d done...” Her nostrils flare, eyes flashing. “Well,” she scowls, “I probably would’ve told my mom, because she’s way better at violence than I am.”
The scenario she’s suggesting easily plays out in my head. I can only imagine my dad’s face if Babs ever went after him. “She can be pretty vicious, can’t she?”
While Alexis has never paid much attention at our matches, her mother does, and I’ve witnessed Dan holding Babs back after a ref made a call she didn’t agree with. I’ve seen her take on high school wrestling coaches and parents from the opposing team who got a little too mouthy.
Alexis smiles, the expression filled with fondness. “She’s kinda like a Chihuahua when she’s mad. More likely than not to bite you, and she will absolutely tear your ankles up.” Her expression hardens. “And if she knew what your dad was doing, she would have taken his down to a nub.”