CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Jenna
Astrange peace settles in my chest as I watch Mason run around with the kids, his enchanting smile never once wavering.
We joked about being different people at this event, and this Mason is a complete stranger to me.
There’s a new lightness to him. An air of freedom.
And it’s obvious I’m not the only one that’s noticed.
Kai sees it too. I can tell by the many times we’ve locked eyes across the makeshift dance floor, his awed expression matching my own.
It could have something to do with what Kai told me about Becca’s theory. That Mason’s a lot happier when he takes care of his sexual frustration. Only this feels like something more. God only knows what it is.
A little girl takes his hand, dragging him farther away, and he summons me to follow, his eyes pleading as he curls his finger in a come-hither motion.
I’d love to tease him. To pretend I don’t understand.
But with the new sparkle in his eyes, I can’t deny him anything. More than that, I don’t want to.
Which is not like me at all.
I’m a one and done kind of girl. Every once in a while, I might have a fling. Fool around with the same person for a week or two. In the past, one romp in an alley would not have me chasing after a man. Yet it only took one mind-blowing orgasm with Mason and I’m under his spell.
Because that’s all this is. It has to be. Anything more than that is crazy. I’m sure Blair would have a mile-long list of cons for that pairing. The biggest one being that infatuation, lust, feelings… love… it’s not enough. It’s never enough.
Mason waves to get my attention, his mouth curled into a twisted get-me-out-of-here grin, now surrounded by at least four young tweens. I jog to catch up to him, pushing my thoughts out of my mind, laughing when his panic turns to relief.
“Thank you all for the dance, but my friend needs me.” Mason points my way and I raise an eyebrow in question.
“Is she your girlfriend?” one of the girls asks, and I stifle a snort, hiding my smile.
“Not yet.” Mason grins brightly, his stunning blue eyes flashing my way. “But you never know.”
He avoids my gaze as the little girl swoons, and it would be the perfect moment to sass him. If I wasn’t as smitten as she is.
Who the hell is this guy? And why does he hide him away?
“Now if you’ll excuse me.” Mason curls his fingers through mine and drags me away, waving over his shoulder until we blend with the crowd. Only stopping when we’re away from the chaos.
“I can’t tell if you broke their hearts or gave them reason to never settle for a lesser man. Either way, there were hearts in their eyes. You gave the first girl your complete attention for a good thirty minutes.”
“What was I supposed to do when she kept asking for ‘just one more song’?”
“A grumpy asshole would have walked away.”
“Ahhh. In that case, I fucked up.” He grimaces comically and I can’t control my laughter. He brings it out of me.
“Mason, you can't pretend anymore. I’ve seen the real you.”
“Have you?” His expression cools, trying to be that Mason again, but there’s a flicker of doubt behind his eyes.
“The truth is…you might be the only person I’ve ever been real with.
” His face scrunches and he shakes his head, as if purging his mind of unwanted thoughts, before smiling softly.
“Anyway, do you want to get a drink?” He points to the bar across the street.
“I’m dying in this thing.” He flaps the collar of his Santa suit, adorably blowing out a breath.
“I don’t blame you. It must be at least ninety degrees out here. Why are you still wearing it?”
“Sentimental reasons.” He shrugs and I frown until he bounces his eyebrows and his meaning sinks in.
“I think Becca and I would be great friends. I understand her completely now. You just needed a good fff—”
“Shhh. Language.” He shushes me like I shushed him earlier, and his happiness makes me giddy. It’s infectious. Childlike. Magic.
If I needed proof that Christmas could be special again, it’s standing in front of me. Mason and Jack lost both parents. My mom is still very much alive and I’m sulking because, for some messed-up reason, I placed all my magic in her.
“Hey, where did you go?” Mason lifts my chin, his magnetic gaze pleading with me to open up. To trust him. And I do. But I don’t want to bring down his mood.
“I was trying to decide on a drink.” I blink a few times, hoping it will snap me out of my Mason-filled daze.
“Gin and tonic?”
“What?”
“It’s a drink.”
“I know what it is. Why would you suggest that specifically?” It’s my go-to when I’m out at a bar. But Mason doesn’t know that. Jack does. “A gin and tonic would be great.”
Mason’s face lights up with a proud grin. “What a guess!” He cheers and once again, I can’t help but laugh. “Come on. There’s a high-top table out the front. I’ll get the drinks.”
As we cross the street, I take in the rustic-looking bar with its tea light candles and fresh flowers lining the tables and smile at how cute it is.
I sit down on the bar stool farthest away from the flowers, but thankfully, Mason moves them from our table to the empty one across the path and drops his coat in its place, squeezing my shoulder as he walks away. You definitely can’t put Santa’s suit on the ground.
He winks as he disappears inside and I smile after him. I’m sure he’d hate me for thinking this, but the playful side of him is more like Jack than he realizes. He just doesn’t show it often enough, preferring to shield himself from the world, wearing his attitude as armor. Kind of like me.
Only my personality is a choice. A way to step out of the darkness my mom shadowed me in.
Mason’s persona comes from his circumstances, from being forced to take on a responsibility he didn’t sign up for. Getting nothing in return.
He’s pushed everything aside to take care of Jack—his career, ambition, love—and Jack doesn’t even notice.
My happiness fades as my heart aches for Mason. I wish I knew how to help. He’s happy now, though something tells me it’s fleeting. That like Cinderella, when the clock strikes midnight, reality kicks in and he’s back to his old self.
Back to the man he doesn’t want to be.
A flash of one of Jack’s letters flits to my mind, and my stomach knots.
Gotta go. My brother’s pissed off about something I did and if I don’t talk to him about it, it’ll become a whole big thing.
Sometimes I wish I was an only child.
Jack has no idea what Mason does for him, and I don’t know whether to be angry or sad about it.
The warm breeze blows hair in my face as I stare off into the distance, and I’m lost in my head until a familiar face breaks through the mess.
Jack’s staring at me from across the street, a soft smile playing at his lips, and you’d think I’d conjured him.
He waves when our eyes lock, and it’s impossible to see him as the bad guy.
Okay, not impossible, because no one could miss his careless nature and self-absorption.
But he’s a genuinely nice guy. He’s sweet and caring and doesn’t appear to have a hurtful bone in his body.
Which is rare. I bet if he and Mason actually sat down and had an adult conversion, he’d be shocked to learn what he’s put Mason through.
I doubt he’s ever taken the time to understand him.
I’d go as far as to guess that’s one of the reasons Mason struggles so much. He needs a friend he can talk to, not a brother that takes him for granted.
I force a smile as Jack nears, and when he sits down next to Mason’s coat, my nose involuntarily scrunches. Not that he notices.
“You’re wearing a Santa hat.” He bites back a smile. “It’s cute. Here I was thinking you hated Christmas.”
“What?” Maybe he’s more observant than we think.
“I found the newspaper you destroyed this morning. The one with the giant Christmas tree on the cover. Unless that was Mason?”
“No, that was me. Your brother seems to love Christmas.” I gesture toward the celebration across in the park and Jack subtly scoffs.
“That he does. Always the hero.” There’s a hint of sarcasm in his tone, but when I glance his way, he’s smiling. “Did you help out with the toy run?”
“I did. It was amazing.” A warmth swells inside me, and Mason’s smile comes back to mind. “It’s an incredible event. Have you been?”
“I sure have. It’s been a while though. I don’t think they do table service out here. Do you want a—”
“You made it?” Mason’s dry questioning tone flits through the air, and Jack’s eyes dart in that direction, his grin a little forced.
“I made it. I wanted to hang out with Jenna, and since you refused to bring her home, I thought I’d come to you.”
I freeze, my eyes bouncing between them as my brows crease.
“She—”
“I wasn’t ready to go back,” I cut in, stopping Mason from having to justify his actions. “But now that you’re here, we can all hang out, yeah?”
“Right,” they both say in unison, tension sizzling as I awkwardly laugh.
“Jack, can I get you a drink?”
I stand up before he’s answered and gesture toward the bar, needing an excuse to get away for a beat. They need a moment to sort their shit out, and God, I hope they do it while I’m gone.
After the initial awkwardness, Jack and Mason settled into their brotherly banter, while I sat back and listened, laughing at their jokes, questioning whenever they said something strange.
Who calls a sausage a snag?
And why the hell would I assume a “Servo” was a place to fuel your car?
Australians.
By the time we make it back to Mason and Jack’s, with me getting a ride in Jack’s car, they’re buddies again. It makes me question everything I assumed.
“I’m sorry I’ve been MIA.” Jack grabs my hand, stopping me from opening my door, his eyes locked on mine when I spin around to face him. “Tracey doesn’t ask for help all that often. So when she does, I know it’s important.”
“You don’t have to explain yourself. I’ve had fun.”
“With Mason?”
“And Kai. You don’t need to take care of me, Jack. I’m a big girl. I can look after myself.”
“I know. But you came all this way to see me and I fucked up.”
“No, you didn’t. We’re still good. I promise.”
A beaming smile lights up his face, and I can’t help comparing it to Mason’s.
When Jack smiles, a warmth coats my chest, but with Mason…
I feel more alive than I’ve ever felt before.
Like the curl of his lips has a direct line to my soul.
It may be because he reserves his smiles for the moments that deserve them.
But I think it’s more than that. I think they’re for me.
It’s late when we finally get inside, and after saying good night, I head for the stairs, only stopping when Mason comes in from the garage.
“I’ll see you in the morning?” I whisper so Jack can’t hear me, biting my lip in an attempt to be coy. What I really want is for him to sneak into my bedroom and fuck me again.
Mason’s eyes flare as if reading my mind, and he brushes past me on the way to the kitchen, squeezing my hand when Jack’s out of view. “Or, I could see you sooner than that.”
He raises an eyebrow and lightly slaps my ass, making me silently moan. But it’s his beautiful smile that really does me in.
My heart jolts as the clock strikes midnight, and it’s not Mason’s reality that comes crashing down, it’s mine. Because it’s not sex that I want. It’s him. I’d settle for his arms wrapped around me and his breath warming my skin. His comfort.
Fuck. I’m falling for someone that lives halfway around the world.
But that’s not the most terrifying part…
I shouldn’t be falling at all.