CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Mason
Jenna’s curled around me when I wake, her bronzed skin flush against mine, her hair tickling my cheek. I breathe her in, memorising her scent so I’ll never forget this moment. Never forget that for a few wonderful hours, I was the guy I should have been. The guy who puts himself first.
And because of that, I’m here with Jenna.
After Jack crashed for the night, I waited for his snores before making my way over. Crept in on her like a stalker. Prepared to wake her if I had to.
Only I found her waiting for me. Perched on the end of the bed. Her eyes wide, her chest rising and falling with shallow breaths.
I’d never seen her more beautiful.
Jenna’s bold and confident, yet in that moment, in her skimpy pyjamas, the strap of her silk camisole hanging off her shoulder, there was an innocence about her that had me cursing the world.
Wishing I could spend the rest of my life protecting her from it.
Despite knowing she’s more than capable of doing it alone.
She stirs in her sleep, her naked legs tightening around me, and an image of our night comes back to mind.
Sex for me has always been a means to satiate a hunger.
Forgettable. Sex with Jenna is otherworldly.
The souvenir of kissing a path down her stomach is burned into my mind.
The image of her muscles tightening as my lips brushed her skin may as well be tattooed on my chest. It’s never going to leave me.
I’ll always remember the way she rode me, slowly, wrapped in my arms, her passionate cries playing on repeat in my head, like a note from my favourite song.
She’ll forever be ingrained in my memory, and tomorrow she’ll be gone.
Thank God, we’ve still got today.
Her soft breaths lull me back to sleep, and when I wake sometime later, the early morning sunlight peeks through the curtains, illuminating the dusting of freckles across her cheek.
I want to count them. To add to the list of things I know about her, because knowing it all will never be enough.
She stirs again, her face scrunching until I cover her eyes, and a contented sigh escapes from her lips. I could stay here forever too, Jenna. If only you’d let me.
I can’t remember the last time I slept that well. Probably in the days before my parents died. When my only concern was whether or not my band got the sound check right.
And we always did. We were going places. Until…we weren’t.
A door slams downstairs and I flinch, cursing Jack for reminding me of his existence.
While he had no reason to be pissed off at me yesterday, I could tell he was jealous, and I’m going to have to talk to him about it. I have no fucking idea what I’m going to say, or what any of this means, but I can’t keep tiptoeing around.
Jenna’s here for another twenty-four hours, and I’m not spending another minute pretending I’m happy for them to be bonding without me.
I don’t want to waste a single second of our time.
Not when I’m refusing to acknowledge what her departure will mean.
“Ugh, why is it morning?” Jenna groans and I chuckle at how adorable she is. “Jesus, I’m sore. How many times did we have sex?”
“Four.”
“Four!” She lifts her head to face me and my laughter grows.
“If you count the quickie in the alley.”
“Oh, I definitely count that. I’m not going to forget it anytime soon. Who knew fucking Santa could be so magical?” Her eyes twinkle and my chest burns.
Every moment for her should be magic. She shouldn’t ever have to question that.
“Uh-oh. What happened?” She bops my nose. “Are you pissed off at my disgusting talk of Father Christmas?”
“No.” I snort. “I’m doing what I shouldn’t be doing.”
“Oh, yeah? What’s that?”
“Thinking past tomorrow.”
Jenna’s eyes widen and she glances away, curling her face into my chest. She’s quiet for a beat before jumping up so fast that it startles me. “Nope. We are not doing that. I’m getting in the shower and you’re making me breakfast. Followed by a fun day at the beach. Okay?”
The fire in her eyes makes it impossible to say no, but I don’t answer immediately. Not until she hits me with a Jenna special—a glare to end all glares. “Oh-kay?” she repeats as she stands in all her naked glory, her tone leaving no room for argument.
“Got it. Off you go then. See if you can wash away the bite marks on your ass.”
Jenna’s gaze shoots to mine, her throat bobbing as she bites her lip, trapping the flesh between her teeth.
And I can’t let her walk away.
“Change of plans. We’re spending the morning in bed.” Jack be damned. We can talk later.
She lets out a squeal as I pull her back to the mattress, shutting her up with a kiss.
“Are you ready for number five?” I cup between her legs, my fingers easily slipping inside her.
“I need this pussy like my next breath.” She pants with need as I flip onto my back, dragging her down on top of me.
“I’m going to kiss this beautiful mouth while my fingers bring you to the edge, then I’m going to flip you over and wrap your legs around my neck, fucking you until you think of me every time you come.
” I curl my fingers while caressing her lips with mine, once, twice, three times before pulling away and whispering against her mouth…
“Let’s see how easy it is to ignore past tomorrow. ”
Icatch the mirror in the hallway and laugh at the ridiculous grin that seems to have attached itself to my face. If Kai saw me right now, I’d never hear the end of it. I’m happy. And significantly relaxed. It’s been a long time since I felt this good.
As if to remind me that I owe Jenna breakfast, my stomach growls at the same time the pipes grind, signalling that she’s switched on the upstairs shower. Yet another thing I need to get checked.
This house may be grand, but it’s close to thirty years old and it needs work.
I’m mentally adding to my long list of to-dos when I round the corner and find Jack blocking my way, the anger in his eyes making me jolt.
He’s home. Shit.
“Did you have a nice fuck party up there?”
Jesus. I cringe, my chest tightening with a hint of regret. We should have been quieter. “I thought you went out.”
“When? After I went to sleep? You were together all night. I saw you this morning. Curled in each other's arms. Since when do you have sleepovers?”
“You saw—” Fuck. That explains the door slamming. “Jack, you—”
“What the hell are you doing, Mason? You could fuck anyone, and you choose Jenna?”
“She’s not anyone, Jack. I—”
“You what? You care? Is that it?”
“Of course I care. I wouldn’t have slept with her if I didn’t.”
“Since when has that mattered? Don’t bullshit me, Mase. Is this a way to get back at me? You’ve never liked anyone. You can’t possibly expect me to believe it was any more than a quick fuck to piss me off.”
“Are you kidding me? Not everything is about you. Why would I use Jenna for that?”
“Because she’s mine.”
Jesus Christ. My stomach tenses with a mounting anger of my own. Now I know why Jenna was annoyed when I called her Jack’s. It sounds fucked up coming from his mouth. But surely, like me, he said it in the heat of the moment.
“She’s not anyone’s property, Jack. Is that your way of saying that you want her?”
“It is. She came here for me.”
“And you left her alone. Come on. Be real here.”
“I am being real. Jenna understood why I left. She gets it. She gets me.”
“That may be true, but do you know anything about her? Do you get her?”
“Of course I fucking do. We’ve been friends for years.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” I raise my hands in mock defeat and Jack fucking smiles, once again displaying an inability to read a goddamn room. “I’m being sarcastic, asshole.”
“Try me.” He pats his chest and I shake my head.
“I’m not playing games. I care about Jenna. I—” His face drops, cutting off what I was going to say next. And thank God for that because I’m not sure what I was going to admit.
“I care about her too, Mase. I fucked up. I know that. But I can’t lose her. If you hadn't stepped in, she might have wanted me back.”
She might have wanted him back? Fuck. Tightness fills my chest until my ribs ache like they’re close to cracking.
“Don’t buy her flowers,” I blurt when he turns away, my heart pounding in my chest. “She’s allergic to pollen and struggles to breathe if she sniffs it up close.
” I pause, my pulse racing, an anxious feeling coursing through my body.
“She drinks vodka at parties but prefers gin and tonic, if you’re planning on taking her out.
And she hates wearing dresses. The only way you’re getting her in one is if her acting role asks for it, and even then, she’ll argue, questioning if it’s really what her character would wear.
” Jack blinks slowly, momentarily stunned, and I don’t blame him, because what the fuck am I doing? “She—”
“How do you know all of that? You only just met.”
“How do you not know, Jack?” My voice rises. I knew he was careless, but I thought he was better than this. “How is it possible you seem to know nothing about her? It’s been years as you said.”
“Exactly, it’s been years. I haven’t seen her since I was nineteen and—”
“I’m talking about the letters. I’ve read them, remember? The same letters you read. It was all in there; you just had to pay attention—”
“Stop!” Jenna’s broken voice cuts into my anger and I spin around so fast, I feel nauseous.
“Jenna, I—”
“You read my letters? All this time, I felt like you knew me. As if we had some kind of deep, meaningful connection, but it was all bullshit.”
“It wasn’t. It—”
“Stop,” she repeats, raising a hand in front of her, turning to Jack. “And you. You let him read them? Is he the only one? Or did you share them around?”
“That’s not—”
“It doesn’t matter. This,”—she waves her hands around—“all of this was a mistake. I shouldn’t have come. I thought I knew you, Jack. And I thought I was getting to know you, Mason. Obviously, I was wrong.”
My body numbs as she rips my heart clear from my chest and storms out with it, undoubtedly throwing it in the bin on her way past. Fuuuck. Why didn’t I tell her?
“Jenna—”
“Jenna, wait.” Jack chases after her but I don’t move, letting him have his moment.
I lied to her and she deserves better than that. She deserves a second to breathe.
Pausing when he catches her, Jenna turns to face him, her hands balled into fists.
“I’m sorry, I—”
“Wait.” She cuts him off. “I may not have heard it all, but I heard enough. You don’t want me, Jack.” She reaches forward and squeezes his arm, her expression softening. “We’re friends. There’s never been anything more between us. You’re not going to lose me if I find someone else.”
“You’re forgiving me?” He frowns, confused. “Just like that.”
“Not exactly.” She smiles and the hurt behind the veil splits me in two. “I need some time. I’ll give you the chance to explain, if you want that. But not right now. Right now, I need a moment to myself.”
She’s still talking to Jack, but her shattered expression lifts to mine, pinning me with her stare. I step forward but she subtly shakes her head.
“Please don’t follow me. You owe me that much.”
Without waiting for a response, she turns on her heel and rushes up the stairs, stealing my breath as she disappears out of sight.
Jack turns to face me again, and it takes everything in my power not to tell him to fuck off. Only this is on me. All of it.
And I need a moment myself.
“I’m going for a walk. Let Jenna be. Let her have the time she asked for. We can tell her everything when she comes back down.”
I’m not letting her hate me until she knows how I feel. Until she knows exactly what she means to me. What she’s always meant to me. Since I first read her letters.
Because that’s what she deserves. Not time. I owe her an explanation.
I owe her the truth.