CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Jenna
My head spins as I slam the bedroom door, and my composure collapses. Along with my legs. I land with a thud and freeze, waiting for any signs that one of them followed me.
It’s only when silence fills the air that I relax.
They listened.
Thank God, because...
Mason read my letters?
I had the strongest feeling he understood me on a deeper level, and now it makes sense.
It wasn’t some soulmate bullshit like Blair would have had me believe, if I'd told her. No…he cheated. He snuck notes into the test. He lied.
Plain and simple, he lied. Even if it was by omission.
There I was, having flown halfway around the world like a fucking crazy person because of a stupid letter and— Oh, God. He knew. He knew exactly why I showed up at his front door. He taunted me with it.
While I laughed it off.
I have to get out of here. Australia. It’s like I’m a different person in this country.
I’d never let anyone fool me back home. I’d never let myself fall...
I’ve got to go.
Haphazardly throwing my belongings into my bags, I listen for movement before rushing down the stairs, desperate to sneak away.
My heart races as I make it to the landing, the front door in my sights.
“Jenna?”
I startle, spinning around to see Jack standing in the hallway, his arms folded over his chest as he leans against the wall. “You’re leaving?” He pouts, his puppy dog eyes making me pause.
“I can’t stay here. You had to know that.”
He nods, then steps forward, making me take a step back.
“I’m sorry I never told you about Mason.
That wasn’t fair.” The sincerity of his tone has my shoulders dropping in resolve until he keeps talking, almost making me laugh.
“In my defence, I didn’t know the two of you would become…
ah…friends. I didn’t think he was the type of guy that would ever take notice.
Most people think he’s an asshole that wouldn’t stop to give you the time of day. I guess you caught him in a good mood.”
I stare at him puzzled, trying to peer into his mind, to see how the cogs work. I don’t get it. How can he miss what’s standing in front of him?
“Do you really believe that?” I ask, my tone holding the incredulity I feel.
“Believe what?”
“That Mason doesn’t take notice? That he wouldn’t give you the time of day?”
“I said it, didn’t I? Why would I lie?”
There’s an innocence to his tone that makes my heart jolt, and for the first time, I wonder if there’s more to Jack than I know.
More than Mason knows. Because he can’t be that blind.
“I think the world of you, Jack. You’ve been the only constant in my life since college.
And I don’t want to lose you. Which is why I have to be honest. You need to wake the fuck up when it comes to your brother.
You’re wrong. He’d give you anything if you asked for it.
And while I bet he’d never admit it out loud, he’s been giving you everything since your parents died. ”
“Did he tell—”
“He never said a word. He didn’t have to. I saw it myself. You say he’s an asshole. But can you honestly say he’s an asshole to you?”
“Yes!” he snaps but there’s a question in his eyes.
“Okay.” I laugh under my breath. “Just think about it. Please.”
“Are you really leaving?”
“I am.”
“Can I have your number this time?”
“Nope. You can write to me. I promise I’ll respond. But maybe… keep it to yourself this time?”
Jack chuckles, but his expression tells me he’s sorry before he says the words again. “I really am sorry.”
“I know. Me too.”
Me: I’m home
My phone buzzes across the kitchen counter as the various calls and messages come through from Hayley and Blair. Each one more panicked than the last. Other than a short “I’m okay” text, I don’t respond. I can’t. I wouldn’t know what to say. I’m still trying to figure it out myself.
Not even the long flight and time to think helped make any sense of what happened.
How could I have been so fucking blind? I’m like my mom. All her boyfriends were wonderful until they weren’t. Turns out, they’d been showing their true colors the entire time, and she hadn’t fucking seen it.
The only saving grace for my sanity is that there’s a difference between my mom’s numerous men and Mason.
He cared.
He may have lied, or hidden the truth, but the devastation on his face when we locked eyes over Jack’s shoulder is etched into my mind. He cared. Probably more than I did.
But it’s too late.
I don’t let my heart get involved. Ever. And this is the reason. It never works out. Not for my mom, and not for me.
My phone rings again, interrupting my thoughts, and I slam my eyes shut before peeking through my fingers, checking the screen. Blair. She’s called at least twelve times since I first messaged a couple of hours earlier, and if I don’t answer, she’s likely to fly her ass over here.
“Hey, B.” I keep my voice peppy, but there’s no point. She knows it’s a lie, made obvious by the loud sigh that plays in my ear.
“Jenna, thank God. You’re back?”
“I am. I was getting in the way and—”
“Don’t do that,” she interrupts. “I want to be here for you, and I can’t if you’re lying.”
“How do you know I’m lying?”
“Because getting in the way is your thing. You’re Jenna Brooks. The star of the show. If anyone’s getting in the way, it’s them.”
“Damn you for knowing me so well.”
“It’s a blessing and a curse. Sometimes I know too much.” She giggles and the familiar sound chips away at some of my tension. I’m lucky to have her in my life and yet here I am, all woe is me. Acting as though my life is empty when I have two beautiful friends in her and Hayley.
“Thank you, B. You’re a true friend.”
“Uh-oh. It’s worse than I thought.”
“No.” It’s my turn to laugh. “I mean it. I don’t think I tell you enough how amazing you are. I’m lucky you walked into my life that day.”
“I think you walked into mine. And I’m lucky too. You gave me the kick I needed with Zane. Now I’m here to return the favor.”
“It’s a looong complicated story, but I promise I’m okay.”
“I’m coming over.”
“What?” I laugh again. “It’s Christmas time and you’re in Florida.”
“It’s not Christmas Eve until tomorrow, so technically it’s not Christmas yet. Zane would understand.”
“I’m sure he would, because he’s obsessed with you. What about your family? No matter how I’m feeling, I’d never take you away from them. And I promise, I’m not that bad. I’m fine.”
“Jen—”
“I’ll meet you in San Francisco when you get home in a few days. I’ll tell you everything then. Okay?” I hold my breath, hoping she’ll accept my deal, and when she sighs, I relax.
“Are you sure?” she asks and while she’s still worried, some of the concern has left her tone.
“I am.”
“Okay. But I don’t like it.”
“I know. That’s why I love you. Enjoy your Christmas. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Thank you. You better, or I’ll be on your doorstep by nightfall.”
“I don’t doubt that. Bye, B.”
I hang up and sink back into the couch, rubbing the heels of my palms into my eyes, a hollow laugh escaping.
Voices ring out in the hallway outside my apartment seconds before the distinct sound of Michael Bublé floats through the air, his smooth voice telling me “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot like Christmas,” rubbing it in.
It may look like Christmas, but other than my day with Mason, it hasn’t felt like it this year.
And as sad as that is, the worst part is that I miss him.
It’s been less than twenty hours and I miss him.
Five days ago, we’d never met. Now there’s an emptiness welling inside me, as though I left a part of myself in Australia. A part I never even knew existed.
My chest tightens as I imagine him and Jack waking up for Christmas morning tomorrow, and a fierce protectiveness takes over.
No matter how angry or upset I am with Mason, he deserves to be happy. He needs Jack to step up. Like he promised.
A knock at my door rips me from my thoughts and I groan under my breath.
This better not be my neighbors goddamn caroling because I am not in the mood for that.
“I’m sorry, I’m—” I pause, finding Mason on the threshold, his eyes red, his wispy hair mussed like he hasn’t stopped running a hand through it since the moment I left.
“Mason?” My heart skips and I almost curse it out loud. Stupid little muscle betraying my head. I stand tall, my stare cold. “What are you doing here?”
Mason’s eyes widen before his expression hardens and I see the asshole version I first met. “What do you think I’m doing? I’m here for a fight.”
“A fight?” I rear back, shocked. “What the hell does that mean?”
“It means that I didn’t take you for the type to run away, instead of calling someone out on their shit.”
“Oh, right.” I fold my arms over my chest, playing the part of someone that’s not struggling to breathe at this very moment. “I forgot you know me so well.” The venom in my tone hits, and I’m proud of myself for holding on to the fire when I thought it had left me.
Mason scoffs, but there’s a slight waver in his voice. “I didn’t get that from the letters, Jenna. I got that from you. It was obvious from the moment we met.”
The fight leaves me and my stomach sinks. “That may be true, but what’s the point? You live in Australia; I live here. We only had twenty-four hours left anyway, and that time is up.”
“Actually, it’s not. I have an hour left.” He holds up his watch and I foolishly check it for myself, my heart jumping when I see that he’s right. Though it shouldn’t matter.
“It’s too late, Mason.” I stand firm while emotion threatens to clog my throat. “You’re off the hook. I’m okay. It was a fun little vacay. Now, it’s over.”
I try to close the door before I shatter, but he slams his palm against the wood, his broken expression ripping my heart out of my chest. “I don’t want to be let off the hook. I came here to apologise. To beg for forgiveness. Because I fucked up. I never meant to hurt you.”
“Thank you. I appreciate the apology. But it’s not necessary. It’s—”
“Jenna, stop.” His booming voice startles me and I rush to pull him inside, not wanting the neighbors to come out.
“Mason, what—”
“For one, I haven’t actually said sorry yet, so your thanks are premature. And two, the fact that you’re brushing this off only proves how much you’re hurting.”
“Oh, please.” I sneer, ignoring the way my pulse races. “It was a few days and—”
“Don’t do that. I may not know what I feel but I have never felt this strongly. And I know you feel the same. There was something between us, Jenna. There is something between us. You can hate me for what I did, but you can’t deny that you also like me.”
His words sting, but as true as they are, it’s too late. “Whatever I felt… It’s not enough. You had me at a disadvantage. I’m sorry you came all this way for nothing. You should go.”
“You’re not going to let me explain?”
“There’s no need.” And I’m not sure my heart can take it.
“That’s not a no.”
“Mason—”
“I first read your letters because Jack begged me to. He was going through a rough patch. Barely coping with day-to-day activities.”
I frown, confused. “I wish I’d known he was hurting. But that doesn’t make sense. Why would he need you to read them?”
Mason runs his hands down his face, blowing out a shaky breath. “Because he wanted me to respond. On his behalf.”
“What?” I rear back as my entire body tenses. “You wrote to me?”
“I did.”
“When? How many? Why?”
“I’m not sure how many exactly, but it happened more often than I’d care to admit and—”
“No.” My chest heaves as nausea takes over me. “I don’t want to hear it. Reading the letters was one thing but… I need you to leave.”
“Jenna—”
“No. What the fuck, Mason?”
“I know. I’m sorry. But I’m also not.”
“What? Get out.” I shove him backward, moving around him to open the door. “I thought I wanted to hear you out but I don’t. I’m sorry. But I’m also not.” I gesture for him to leave, and he nods, accepting my decision way too easily.
Only, just when I think he’s going to walk away, he pulls something from his pocket and holds it out in front of him.
“Take this, please.” He doesn’t give me a choice, grabbing my wrist and opening my fingers, placing the item on my palm. I glance down to find an envelope and flinch.
“Another fake letter from Jack?”
“No, Jenna.” He sighs like I’m a brat, but I can see how much this is killing him. “This letter is all me. I’m not leaving LA anytime soon. Read it. Please. My number is at the bottom when you’re ready to talk.”
He squeezes my hand, walking away without a backward glance and my breath catches in my throat. I manage to hold myself together until the door clicks shut and I truly break out of my shock.
Mason’s here. From Australia.
Some of the letters were him.
He flipped my world upside down. Now he’s here. Goddammit.
Rushing forward, I throw open the door, my frantic gaze searching the hall. “Mason, wait!”
I can’t let him go.