Chapter 9
Sean
Chapter Nine
I lower Lina to her feet and turn on the shower. The water warms quickly, and the pressure is good. It had better be since this is one of the most expensive hotels in the city. We step under the showerhead, me moving back as soon as I’m wet. She runs her hands over me, and I can’t get enough. Obviously, I’m no virgin. I’ve had more than one dozen partners, but less than two. I know what I like. I know what’s turned me on and driven lust and infatuation.
Lina makes everything in the past seem inconsequential. It gave me the carnal knowledge I have and love using with her. But there was always something lacking. Something not wholly satisfying. It was good enough that I didn’t look for more. I didn’t want to. I can’t imagine going back to that, though. If things don’t work out with Lina, it’s going to leave a gaping hole in my heart. I’d rather get shot.
“How long do we have until your cousins get here?”
“About thirty minutes.”
I pour shampoo into my palm and guide her to turn away from me. She gives me a happy moan as I rub the product into her hair until it’s sudsy. I massage her scalp, and she reaches back to wrap her arms around my waist. I slide my soapy hands down her shoulders to her tits. They fit in my hands as though they were made for me to enjoy. I play with her nipples until they’re hard.
I shift to let her step under the showerhead. She tilts her head back to wash the shampoo out, using her hands to move her hair around. I latch onto her left nipple and suck, flicking my tongue while I’m at it. I move from side to side after I rinse my hands off. I slip two fingers into her. She’s so fucking tight, even around them. I’ve been rough with her during sex, but I’m careful now. I’m unprepared for her to push my hand away and drop to her knees. She strokes me as she licks my balls.
Her tongue swipes up before swirling around the head of my cock, flicking the hole. I reach over her and press my hands on the wall. When she slides her mouth almost to the base, I need that wall to hold me up. I’m certain my knees are shaking. Her eyes are closed as though she relishes the task. She strokes what she isn’t sucking, working her hand and mouth in tandem. Her free hand presses my arse, pushing my hips toward her. She lightens her touch as I draw my hips back. She presses again, telling me she wants me to thrust.
“Do you want me to fuck your mouth, little girl?”
“Mmhmm.” She’s clear even without words.
I use my left hand to cup her head, pressing against it like she is my arse. Except I keep the pressure extremely light. She isn’t some cum dumpster like on a porn. The goal isn’t to use her to get off. I’m not fucking her down her throat to force her into staying where she is. If she wants to stop, it ends immediately. But I am guiding her to move with me.
She opens her eyes and looks up at me for a moment. There’s something in her gaze I can’t articulate. Yes, she’s doing this to me and for me. Yes, she’s being submissive. Yes, I’m leading even though she started this. But that’s not what I’m seeing. It’s as though this is the most normal thing in the world. Not that this isn’t special, but that it’s as though she accepts this is how it should be. She closes them again and sucks harder.
“I’m going to come, Lina. Let go if you don’t want to swallow.”
She lets go, but she keeps her mouth open. I get what she wants. I stroke until I can’t hold back. I aim for her tits before resting my cock on her tongue. I’m blocking the water enough that my cum sits between her tits. We’re looking at it before she swipes her finger through it and brings it to her tongue. She sucks her finger into her mouth, and I might come again. I help her to her feet, and I’m ready to trade places.
“Sean, no. I don’t need anything in return. Yeah, I’m wet and would love to get off. But I don’t need that right now. I wanted to do that. I wanted to take care of you.”
I cup her jaw as I already have so many times. I love it. I think it’s sensual as fuck. I take my time with the kiss. We still need to finish showering, but I refuse to rush after what she just gave me. I wrap my arm around her waist and draw her to me.
“Thank you, cailín. You don’t have to pleasure me to take care of me. But that was incredible.”
“I know I don’t have to. But you’re leaving in a bit, and that’s what I could do for right now. Something just for you.”
Is this what being in love feels like?
It’s not like being a twin means I never feel special. My parents have made sure Shane and I know we’re separate people since we were born. The only time we wore anything matching was for family photos, Christmas, and Easter. Then we matched Finn too. It’s not like being from a large family means I never feel special. I do. We all have our own talents we bring to the table. But no one outside my family has ever made me feel special. Not like this.
I want to spend all the time I can with her. Get to know her even more. I want to share companionable silence with her as we read or work. I want to laugh with her. I want to fall asleep and wake up with her. I want far more than just sex. It’s new and exciting right now because this is the first day we’ve been together. While I pray our mutual attraction never wears off, the novelty might. It’s what comes after that. That’s what I want. Hopefully, with all the normal couple stuff, our attraction—physical and emotional—will continue to grow.
“I hate that I’m leaving soon. I don’t want our time together to be over. And I’m worried about you.”
“Our time together isn’t over, nounours. Just today is. If Seamus and Cormac are anything like you, then I’ll be safer than all the gold relics hidden beneath the Vatican. No one will know where I am unless I want them to. I’m confident your cousins will keep me safe. If not for my sake, then for yours. I’ll see what mood Ewan is in, and if he’s going to be shitty, then I’ll go to a hotel.”
“Promise me you’ll go to Montreal or come back here if it’s dangerous. Dangerous by what I would deem it, not what you’re willing to put up with.”
She grins at me. “I’d be running away with a paper cut if I went by your standard. You can’t surround me in bubble wrap. Ewan’s moods aren’t new to me.”
“But being involved with a rival is.” At least, I assume it is.
She hands me the soap and stands still, letting the water rinse her off. “No, I haven’t been involved with any of my family’s rivals. Not on either side.”
She read my fear. It was something I purposely hid—tried to hide—from her. She could tell. It’s eerie how fast that was. Only Shane can do that. My cousins take a minute or two.
We finish, and I push open the shower door, handing her a towel. She wraps it around her hair as I pass her another one. I dry off before wrapping one around my waist. I open the bathroom door and hear someone knocking. No one’s yelling, so it probably isn’t Justin. Lina’s gaze dashes to my towel, then out toward the suite’s living room. I grin as I step into the bedroom as though I plan to answer the door as I am. She reaches for me, but I sidestep. I grab my boxer briefs and put them on, then my pants. She watches as she combs her hair.
“My gun’s on the bedside table. Stay in here with the door closed until I come for you.”
“But you won’t have a gun.”
I pull a knife from each pocket. “I’ll check the peephole before I open the door.”
She nods as I walk out. I hurry across the sitting area, a knife in my right hand. I check to see who’s there. It’s Cormac and Seamus.
“Prátaí.” Potato.
Cormac responds. “Cabáiste.” Cabbage.
Anything besides those two words means it’s not safe to open the door. I unlock it and step aside as I pull on the handle. My cousins are built like gladiators. We’re all big in my family. Every man stands at least a couple inches over six feet. All of us are in the two-twenty to two-thirty range, except for them. Their heavy arses are nearly two-fifty. Believe me. I know. I’ve carried both of their dead weight. We all have single digit body fat because we work out and stay active.
Three brothers married three sisters and along came our generation. Their dad is the biggest, but my dad and Dillan’s are close behind. Seamus and Cormac just came out behemoths—and Seamus was two months early.
“Lina’s in the bedroom getting ready. Let me finish, then we’ll explain.”
“She knows you’re leaving?” Cormac’s looking over my shoulder toward the shut bedroom door.
“Yeah. But I didn’t say where or why.”
They nod. I head back to the bedroom and find Lina in a pair of jeans and cute shirt. She hands me my suit coat, shirt, and tie. I button up the shirt but stuff my tie in my pants pocket. I holster the gun at my lower back then slip on my suit coat.
“We don’t have to explain your family history, but we need to let them know enough for them to protect you.”
“I’m going to have to tell them at some point.”
“Nothing you don’t want to. Unless you want to tell the story twice, we should wait until we’re with Shane, Finn, and Dillan, too.”
She nods, and I’m certain nothing about that sounds appealing. She steps into a pair of flats and walks to where I’m standing beside the door. I open it and let her go past. I slide my hand into hers as we approach my cousins. Neither looks surprised. They’ve met women I’ve hooked up with in the past. There’s a girl from high school we’re all intimately acquainted with. But they haven’t seen me hold a woman’s hand since freshman year of college. The last time I had a girlfriend. The last time I thought I could have some semblance of a normal life.
I know them as well as I know myself. They aren’t hiding their shock. They expected this. We’ve been through this with Dillan and Finn already. They know she’s special to me, which means she’s who I want for good. They know I wouldn’t bring anyone around our family if I didn’t think it was for the long haul. It’s too dangerous for all of us. For the woman, if she gets caught in the middle and for us if she narcs.
“Lina, this is Seamus and Cormac.” I point to each cousin. “This is Nikki.”
My switching names doesn’t faze them either. She glances up at me, confused. I’m not sharing a state secret, but I want my explanation to stay intimate. “The men in my family tend to pick names for their partners only they share with each other. Lina is mine.”
She gazes up at me. “What’s your middle name?”
“Dermot.”
We both laugh. Neither of us wants to use that. Sean is too short to turn into anything else.
“Do any of them speak French?” She keeps her voice low but speaks quickly. I know she doesn’t want to be rude.
“Passably, but not as well as me.”
“Would they know what it means?”
“No.”
Her smile’s soft as she nods. I squeeze her hand. All four of us walk to the chairs placed around a coffee table. Lina and I take the sofa while the guys fill the armchairs.
“Lina knows I have to be away, and I don’t know how long I’ll be gone. She needs to go back to Boston tomorrow. She can’t avoid Ewan, and she lives with him. I need you with her until I get back.”
“I’m sorry you have to do this since I’m certain you had other things to do. But I appreciate it. I’m not scared of my brother. I’m nervous about some of his men. If he tells them about Sean and me, then they’ll have plenty to say. He won’t let any of them touch me. I’m safe that way. He’ll kill anyone who tries. I’m not confident they won’t try to fuck with me. I’m not confident he won’t fuck with me. My relationship with my brother is tenuous. He’s going to see this as the utmost betrayal. It won’t go over well, so I might go to a hotel. The best I can hope for is he ignores me like he often does. Sean said you can be discreet and park on the street.”
She glances at me before shifting her gaze between my cousins. It’s Seamus who answers this time.
“We can. We’ll have cars with tinted windows that are just short of being suspicious. We’ll park at opposite ends of the block, facing each other. We’ll see anyone coming from either direction, and we can get to you quickly if need be.”
“I drive or take the T most of the time. I can stay home for a day or two, but then I have appointments next week I need to keep.”
I wonder what those are, but I won’t pry. Neither will Seamus nor Cormac.
“It would be better if we can drive you, but we can have one car in front and one behind yours. We can ride the subway with you.” Cormac offers her a reassuring smile.
Most people don’t believe my cousins are the shy ones of the six of us. They have the best manners because of it. We’ve all had chivalry ingrained in us since birth. It comes naturally to us all by now, but they’re the ones who always wrote thank you cards after their birthdays and Christmas without my aunt insisting. Fecking mother’s pets.
We all have no problem swearing. We swear like sailors. But the lesson drilled deepest into us was never swear in front of women and children, and never swear to or about family. We all abide by that, even in our heads. We’re in our thirties and still believe our parents have telepathy. They’d just know. So, none of us risk it.
“I’d like to accept that offer without a second thought, but I will have an impossible time explaining why I’m getting into a vehicle with tinted windows that isn’t part of my brother’s fleet. Maybe I could meet you at the T station instead. We wouldn’t ride, but I could get in the car there. Anything but getting into your car on my brother’s block.”
Seamus shoots a glance at me before answering. “If that’s what you want, we can do that. But one of us will follow you from your brother’s place to the station. You will not walk alone.”
“I didn’t think I would. I went through this the first year I moved down here for college. My grandfather insisted I have a bodyguard with me at all times. I didn’t mind the first few weeks because New York can be overwhelming without worrying about which international syndicate might use you for target practice.”
That hardly reassures me. She must guess because she leans a little against me before continuing.
“But it got inconvenient when I wanted to do things I didn’t want reported to my grandfather. I wanted to be a normal college first year. I became an expert at slipping past them. It’s no small wonder national security intrigues me.” She grins. “But all of that’s to say, I know the protocols and routines.”
I watch my cousins as I speak. “I want you to have a burner that has my number, Seamus’s, Cormac’s, my brothers’, and our other cousin Dillan’s. Don’t use it for anything but to contact Seamus and Cormac or to contact me if there’s an emergency.”
They nod their agreement, not that I thought they’d say anything otherwise.
“Hang on.” She gets up and goes to the bedroom. She’s only gone for a minute before she reappears. She’s carrying four burners. What the hell?
“Do you always travel with that many?” It shocks me, but it’s good to see they’re still in their original packaging.
“Yes. And these don’t include the one Ewan gave me. I’m not paranoid, but I am cautious since I’m traveling alone. I was coming here to spy on and hack a rival family. It’s not like I wanted to leave breadcrumbs for your family to follow.”
“But you texted Justin on your regular phone. Texted me on it.”
“Because I didn’t feel the need for anonymity. It would have made Justin suspicious if I had. He probably would have kicked the door in. I haven’t with you because if this is going anywhere, then hiding texts with you is pointless. Everyone will know soon enough.”
I hate the word “if.” There’s no if. It is going somewhere. I just pray it’s not straight into the shitter. Will Lina change her mind once she’s back in Boston, away from me? When her brother pressures her? When her grandfather has something—plenty—to say?
I glance at my phone to see the time. Fucking hell. I have to go. I can’t linger much longer.
“It’s time.”
I stand and help Lina to her feet as Cormac and Seamus rise too. They say nothing as they move to inspect the suite, ignoring the bedroom where they know Lina and I were. Cormac checks the windows, peering down at the street below. Seamus is patrolling, looking out for anything that could be used as a weapon. Either for or against them. I draw Lina into my embrace. We wrap our arms around each other’s waists and stare into each other’s eyes.
“Nounours, this has been one of the strangest yet happiest days I’ve ever had. If you change your mind while you’re gone, I understand. A lot has happened in the last four hours.”
“I was going to say the same thing to you. If you realize this isn’t right for you, then tell me. I only want what’s best for you.” Me.
“I know. I feel the same way. If I’m going back to Boston, and you have to come back here, I don’t know when we’ll see each other next.”
“Me neither, but I have access to the jet. My carbon footprint is going to be as big as the Himalayas, but I can tell my conscience to shut the feck up about that.”
She grins at me. “I think it’s adorable that you won’t swear in front of me. I think it’s sexy as sin when you do during sex or dirty talk.” She lowers her voice to a whisper as though we’re conspiring.
“Yeah, well, my parents would rake me over the coals if they found out I swore in front of a woman or a kid. But I definitely am not sharing what we say in private with anyone else.”
Her smile broadens. She goes onto her toes to give me a peck. “Be careful, Sean. Whatever this is, just be careful.”
I pull her tighter and glide one hand down to her arse. She tilts her head back, and I lean in for a kiss. We linger over it, shifting from tender to passionate to tender again. She presses her cheek to my chest when we pull apart. I know what I have to do, and that man won’t be the one who’s holding her as though she’s the most precious thing in the world. She is.
“I will, cailín. There’s still so much of the future for us to see.”
“Together.” Her voice is soft as though she doesn’t want me to hear the note of uncertainty. It’s almost as though she’s asking a question.
“I hope so. It’s what I want, Lina. At the very least, I want to try. I know this is moving at warp speed for you but having a few weeks to think about you and spending a few hours with you is equivalent to months and years in my world.”
“I get it. This isn’t the first time someone’s explained it to me that way. I like your decisiveness. I don’t have to guess where you stand. It’s refreshing. It means I can be myself, which is often painfully blunt. I don’t have to hide behind what I want and reveal it slowly in fear of scaring you off.”
“I don’t know that I’ll be able to call or text you while I’m gone. I may not have my phone on. If you need anything, contact Finn or my cousins. They’ll know how to get in touch with me.”
“I know how this works, Sean. The mob is all I’ve ever known. I told you. I know the protocols and routines. Trust that I’m in excellent hands with Seamus and Cormac. I know, at the very least, they would never want to disappoint you. Your bond is so strong and present that it could be the fifth person in the room.”
I don’t want to let go, so instead, I swoop in for one more kiss. Then I force myself to let go. I glance at her before I walk to the door. Cormac and Seamus follow me, but I watch Lina.
“Níl a fhios agam go maithfidh sí dom. Ní féidir liom a rá léi go bhfuilim ag dul go Dún na Séad anocht chun spiaireacht a dhéanamh ar Ewan. Tá mé fós buartha faoi cad a dhéanfaidh sé nuair a thiocfaidh sí abhaile amárach. B'fhéidir go mbeinn ar ais faoin am sin, nó b'fhéidir go mbeidh mé in áit éigin eile. Ba mhaith liom go bhféadfainn a mhíniú cén fáth a bhfuil an chuid seo á cheilt agam.” I don’t know that she'll forgive me. I can’t tell her I'm headed to Baltimore tonight to spy on Ewan. I’m still worried about what he’ll do when she gets home tomorrow. I might be back by then, or I might end up somewhere else. I wish I could explain why I’m hiding this part.
Cormac shakes his head. “Is é an chúis le bréag a fhágáil ar lár ná í a choinneáil slán. Ag insint di defeats go.” The reason to lie by omission is to keep her safe. Telling her defeats that.
Seamus is a bit more sympathetic. “Ní hionann sin is a rá go mbeidh sé níos fusa bréagadh a dhéanamh nó seans go maithfidh sí agus go ndéanfaidh sí dearmad nuair a fhaigheann sí amach.” That doesn't mean it makes it any easier to lie or any more likely she'll forgive and forget once she finds out.
I’m looking at them when I really want to watch Lina. She turned on the TV, probably to drown us out. A courtesy. I know her father and uncle didn’t, and Ewan doesn’t speak Gaelic. Jean-Peter’s pretty proficient, but not enough to have taught his granddaughter to be fluent. I doubt Barnard offers Irish Gaelic in its Modern Languages department, and it wasn’t one offered at Georgetown. But who knows? She could have learned it from YouTube. She’s being polite.
My cousins and I continue in Irish. “Protect her. She’s special.”
Seamus smothers a snort that comes out sounding more like a cough. Cormac rolls his eyes. I glare at them.
“You know we will. And it’s obvious how you feel about each other.” Cormac shifts to glance back at Lina before returning his gaze to me. “What if we find out something about her you won’t like?”
I’ve thought about that already, and it feels like a bear claw is reaching into my gut and pulling my stomach out through my belly button.
“I know it’s a possibility. I pray there’s nothing, and if there is, it’s reasonable and explicable if she’s given a chance. I don’t want to imagine she’s playing me for a fool.”
Seamus shrugs. “It’s more likely we’d discover something she doesn’t even know. If she were truly in the thick of this shite, we would have heard about her before.”
I’d like to think that’s the reason.
“Okay. I gotta go.” I look between them to Lina. I can’t call her cailín in front of my cousins. They know what it means, and I’m certain they’ve heard Dillan and Finn call their wives that. I’m not ready to share that much. They’d recognize any other Irish terms of endearment.
“Je reviendrai dès que possible, ma choupette.” I’ll be back as soon as I can, my sweetheart.
My cousins will understand the first part, but I doubt they’ll know what choupette means. It can be darling or sweetheart. I’ve even heard someone use it to mean baby, but not like an infant. If she knows that, then she’ll know it’s as close to little girl as I dare come without my cousins understanding.
“Je serai prête, nounours.” I’ll be ready, teddy.