Chapter 12
Lina
Chapter Twelve
Things went smoothly with Seamus and Cormac. I know they saw Ewan load my car with my luggage. Colt stood beside my brother while I didn’t bother looking back before driving away. I pulled off about a quarter of a mile from Ewan’s house, into a supermarket parking lot. Cormac and Seamus walked over to the car and got in.
I told them what happened, and it took five minutes of arguing before they agreed to leave Ewan and Colt alone. They wanted to arrange for my brother and his best friend to get in a fender bender that would wind up with them beaten up when they got out of the car to exchange information. I don’t need that shit added to my plate right now. I warned them that hurting Ewan would just put me in a position to help him again.
I gave them the directions to my new place, so they’d know I have an end plan. Or at least a middle plan. I wouldn’t mind seeing Sean as part of the end plan. For now, I told them I’m headed to a friend’s place in Belchertown, which is an hour and a half outside Boston. Nowadays, it’s as much fun to say as it is to live there. I wish it were fall because the foliage is as amazing as people claim about New England.
“Hey, stay inside when I get there. I’ve got bodyguards with me, and I don’t want to explain why I’m staying at a guy’s place.” I have my phone connected to my car’s Bluetooth.
“I thought you left Ewan, so why do you have security?” Jesse’s a guy I met while in college.
He’s a semi-pro bodybuilder and gorgeous. He’s also gay. I don’t for a moment think Seamus or Cormac would object to that. It’s the part about them seeing Jesse before I can explain I’m only into Sean. I know I could have told them while we were talking earlier, but shit’s more complicated than him just being a man I’m staying with.
“It’s a story better told in person. I’ll use the hidden key and let myself in. They’ll park on the street at opposite ends. They won’t get out of the car unless they perceive I’m in danger.”
“And they think I’m a threat?”
“No, because they won’t see you. I’ll explain what I can once I’m there. It’ll be about twenty minutes.”
“Fine.”
“Thanks. I appreciate it.”
“I know you do. That’s why you have an open invitation to stay as long as you want.”
“Just a couple days, but you’re awesome.”
“I’ll see you in a bit.”
“Bye.”
We hang up, and I think back to when I met Jesse. I was in Boston visiting Ewan during summer break, and I still had friends I’d made during my visits as a kid. We’d hang out, so I could escape my family. They’re all mob daughters, so they know my brother. They knew my dad, so they understood why I liked to get away. Jesse worked at a male strip club, and one of my friends thought he was so hot. He is. But when she tried to get his number, he declined.
About three weeks later, the same group of friends and I went to a drag show brunch. Best brunch I’ve ever had. I had this niggling feeling I knew a performer. It took me the entire meal to figure it out. Jesse came by our table during a song. When I smiled and gave him a slight nod, he knew I’d recognized him. We talked after the show and hit it off. We’ve been friends ever since.
You’d never in a million years believe he owned a company that has three hundred vending machines throughout five counties and make him a very lucrative income. He’s never been flashy about his wealth. He started stripping in college for the money and stays because he loves to dance. The drag shows are a creative outlet for him.
I pull into the driveway and pop the trunk. I’m certain Seamus and Cormac want to sweep the entire area before I get out. I open my door before either of them can approach me. I step out and nod as Cormac drives past. I’m pretty sure I can see his scowl. I grab my luggage from the car and wheel it to the front door. I know Jesse hides the key under some mulch, beneath a rock.
“Jesse, get out of the way!” Fuck me.
He’s standing just inside the door, and I’m certain Seamus just spotted him since he drove past. He came from the opposite direction from his brother.
“Nice to see you too, sweet cheeks.”
I get my suitcases through the door, and he helps roll them into the living room. I kicked the door closed behind me. I give him a hug, and it’s as reassuring as it’s always been. Jesse’s who I turned to when my dad died. He was one of the few people I could confide in that I felt nothing about his death, but I felt guilty because I believed that made me a shitty person. My mom was the only other person. In front of everyone else, I didn’t lie about my lack of feelings. I was evasive.
“I just started seeing someone new. Those guys are his cousins. They are going to wonder why it looks like I’m moving in with a guy. They’re going to tell their cousin if I don’t explain first.”
“You could have told me that on the phone.”
“And I thought you’d believe me when I said not to come out and that I’d explain it once I’m here.”
“I didn’t come out, and you are explaining.” His grin usually makes up for everything.
But not this time. I don’t want things fucked up with Sean before they have a chance to get started. I need to tell Cormac and Seamus something, but I don’t want to blurt out Jesse’s sexual orientation as the reason, even if it is. I pull my phone from my purse and open the group text.
“Give me a sec, please.”
Me
That’s my friend Jesse. I’ve known him since college. He knows who and what I am. I’m safe here.
I could also be safe at a hotel.
Cormac
You could have told us first.
Me
I know. I’m sorry but I didn’t want to argue about going to a hotel or coming to a friend.
Seamus
What was there to argue about?
He’s not being obtuse. I should have trusted them to let me decide what I want to do. They might give an opinion for my safety, but they know it’s not their place to tell me what to do. They’d look out for me, regardless.
Me
Please let me tell Sean that I’m staying with a guy. There’s NO chance at all ever that something’s gone on or will go on with him besides friendship.
I include the emoji with the raised eyebrow as a hint.
Seamus
You could have told us that too. We don’t give a hoot about stuff like that.
He won’t swear in front of me, even in text. I noticed that about Sean, and it’s the same with his cousins. It must be a family rule or something. Ewan and our dad definitely didn’t have the same policy. I don’t have the same policy with Ewan.
Me
I’m getting to know your family. He’s my friend. Just being cautious.
Cormac
Understood. We’re here to ensure you’re okay not to judge.
Me
Thanks
“Everything all right?”
Seamus
No problem
I look up at Jesse as I drop my phone back into my purse. “Completely.”
“They aren’t going to tattle?”
“What would you think if you just started dating someone, and they found out you’re staying with a guy?”
He shrugs, but I see a flash of remorse. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine. I’m starving. What’s for lunch?” I shoot him a smile as we head to the hallway with the bedrooms. I know where to go since I’ve stayed here plenty of times before. He brings my larger case while I have my roll aboard and hand luggage. We leave the bags there and head to the kitchen. We chat about everything but my family. I tell him what I can about Sean, and he’s genuinely happy for me. He apologizes again for any problems he created.
After we eat, I head to my room to get out what I need for the next couple of days until my apartment is ready. There’s an en suite, and I’m just putting my makeup bag on the counter when I hear my phone ring in the bedroom.
“Hi, nounours.”
“Hi, cailín. Did everything go smoothly getting home?”
“Yeah, but Ewan and I had an argument right after you and I texted. I left and came to a friend’s place.”
“I know. Cormac told me.”
Fuck me.
I wait to see what else he says, but he stays quiet. It’s my turn to speak.
“I’m with a friend from college. Jesse’s always let me stay here whenever I want, even when he’s out of town. It’ll be a couple days before my apartment’s ready. I didn’t want to stay in a hotel when I could be somewhere comfortable that I know.”
“I get it. Did Ewan do anything beyond argue?”
“No. Why?”
“Lina, I’m in Boston.”
Ummmmm. Okay.
“You came straight here like you said you would.”
“Yes. I’d like to see you.” He sounds hopeful.
“I’d like to see you, too.”
“If you just got to your friend’s place, I don’t want to interrupt.”
“Jesse and I hang out when we’re both here. But we’ve always kept our own schedules. He really treats me like I live here rather than a guest. I come and go whenever I want. He’ll get it. When can I see you?”
Did I sound too eager?
“As soon as we can be in the same place. Cormac said you’re in Belchertown.”
“I am. Do you know where that is?”
“Yeah. I have a friend who went to Amherst. I would fly into Hartford before visiting her. I’ve seen the road signs.”
Ouch. Was that a dig? It hurts, even if that was like at least eight years ago. I wince because he knows I’m at a guy’s place right now.
“Lina, I didn’t say it to hurt you. It doesn’t bother me that you’re staying at a guy’s house. Gay or straight. He’s your friend, and you’re away from Ewan. That’s what matters to me.”
“Thank you.”
“I landed five minutes ago. Once we’re cleared for takeoff, the pilot will be wheels up.”
“It’s forty minutes from Hartford to here after a forty-five-minute flight. You can drive in the same amount of time. I wish I’d known you’d be here so soon. I would have stayed in Boston and saved you the effort.”
“Little one, there are two private airfields in Belchertown. I already looked it up.”
My toes curl in my shoes. I could see Sean in less than an hour. I shouldn’t be that giddy.
“Do you need me to pick you up?”
That’s a stupid question. He has his cousins and probably a car service already lined up. There’s a pause before he answers.
“Would you let my cousins bring you? I can arrange for a car with privacy glass. I’d like to say hello without an audience.”
I’m wet. Like he soaked my panties. My pussy aches, and I close my eyes as I sit on the bed.
“Yes.” It’s a whisper because I think I’d croak if I spoke louder.
“Good. I’ll see you soon, little one. One of the guys will let you know when to leave. I want to see the marks I left on you, and I want to taste you. Dress for it.”
My belly caves. His tone was gravelly and deep when he said that. My tits remember how they felt when he sucked love bites all over them. I pull my shirt out and look down at them.
“Yes, Sir.”
“I’m not your Dom, Lina.”
“I know, and I wasn’t being sarcastic. But I don’t know what else to say when I want to let you know I’ll obey.”
“Sean. Just say my name. There’s never a time when you can’t call me that.”
“Thank you, Sean. I’m excited to see you.” I suddenly feel timid about admitting that.
“You can’t be more excited than I am. Not possible.”
“I’ll be there when you land.”
“I know.”
Neither of us says anything. There’s no more to say about him getting here. But neither of us wants to hang up. We remain quiet, but then I hear voices in the background.
“I gotta go, so I can make the arrangements. Give me an hour.”
“Okay. See you soon.”
“Not soon enough.”
I open my eyes to hang up the call, but he already has. I really want this to work. I want there to be an us. On my flight up from NYC, I searched love at first sight to see if it’s a real thing or just heightened physical attraction that makes lust seem like love.
There’s no scientific proof that love at first sight exists, but the articles I read have some common denominators. Most mentioned something about the chemical reactions in the brain. A neuropsychotherapist said the amount of serotonin and dopamine is similar to someone on heroin. That hardly sounds lovely, but it certainly explains why people would think it’s love. I don’t know what adaptive oscillators are, but they’re in the prefrontal cortex where emotions and decision-making happen. I guess when one person’s oscillators connect with another’s—however that happens—it’s what can spur people to kiss. It was downhill from there after my first kiss with Sean.
Some articles talked about memory bias. That love at first sight is really just happy memories of meeting someone, and when they’re shared, they’re strengthened into a sense of love at first sight. Meeting Sean was definitely memorable. A sunny day at a funeral. Making out at the reception after the funeral.
I’m not convinced I’m in love. I’m most certainly in lust. But this feels more substantial than other times I’ve been in lust. There’s the excitement I’ve experienced, but there’s a calm at the same time. A rightness that has me at peace. It’s fucking bizarre.
I hurry to change into a short sundress before heading out to have lunch.
Seamus
It’s time to go. You ready?
Me
Yeah. I’m coming.
“Jesse?”
“Yeah. In my office.”
I walk to the other end of the house and stick my head around the door.
“Hey. I’m headed out for a bit. Sean was able to fly here. He made it to Boston sooner than we expected. I’m going to meet him. I’m not sure if my plans are going to change or what. I’ll keep you posted.”
“You’re really into him, aren’t you?”
“Yeah. How can you tell?”
“You sound comfortable when you talk about him. It’s not like new giddiness when you first meet someone you like. It’s like you’ve been together since forever. Like it’s just a given you’re going to see him, and you might stay with him now that he’s in town. I’m happy for you. He’s certainly better than shithead.”
“Way better than shithead.” I grin and then laugh.
I head outside, and Cormac’s car is in the driveway. Seamus is in the passenger seat. I slide into the back.
“Thanks for taking me. I’m sorry about earlier.”
“We get it.” Seamus looks over his shoulder and offers me a smile I’m certain is genuine.
We ride the twenty minutes chatting about things to see and do in New York and Boston that aren’t the usual touristy destinations. It kills the time until we’re at the airfield, and we watch a private jet land. As we park, the plane’s door opens and steps lower. Then he’s there.
I don’t run—despite the temptation—so it feels like the longest hundred yards ever as I walk to meet him. Then I’m in his arms.
“Baby girl.”
I melt against him as I tip my chin up. He cups my cheek and stares into my eyes for a moment before we’re finally kissing again. It hasn’t even been a day. We weren’t even together a day. But this is heaven. The kiss goes on and on. I know there are people moving around us, but we don’t care. We won’t be rushed. His tongue curls with mine, and we swipe them within each other’s mouths. I remember as a tween thinking pressing tongues together sounded stupid and gross. Now…Sean’s damn good at pressing his tongue together with mine.
“Nounours.”
He gives me a series of pecks. Before sliding both of his hands into mine. My brow furrows as I look at his face again.
“What’s wrong?” I know there’s something.
“I need to talk to you in private. My cousins don’t know yet, but they will. Shane will brief them, but I don’t want you hearing this with an audience.”
“You’re scaring me.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to, but it’s serious.”