Chapter 11
And there went an amazing date.
Thea’s staring at me as we embrace. I don’t know if it’s she’s simply too shocked to move or too scared. Probably both.
“Will you let me explain in the car?”
“Let you?”
“Yeah. Please don’t bolt.”
She blinks three times before her brow furrows. She lowers her arms and nods. I guide her out of the converted warehouse and out to the town car. I open the door, but she doesn’t get in.
“This isn’t something I want anyone to overhear. We won’t leave. We’ll just sit and talk. If you want to end the date, then I’ll make sure you get home however you want.”
“We haven’t decided where to have dinner.”
Now it’s my turn to blink and furrow my brow. Huh?
“Finn, I thought we were going to have dinner, too. We just never talked about it.”
“You still want to have dinner with me?”
“You asked me not to bolt. I haven’t. You asked me to let you explain. I will. But wouldn’t it be more efficient for you to explain in the car on the way to the restaurant? I admit I’m a bit hungry.”
She turns and slips into the car, and I’m left catching flies with my mouth open. I slide in after her and pull the door shut. Before she can fasten her seatbelt, I lift her onto my lap. I lower the privacy glass just enough to tell Joey the name of a restaurant. I don’t own it, but Cormac does. It’s the best Japanese restaurant in Queens. He has the best chefs and everything.
“You’re not scared of me now? Scared of what it means that I carry a gun on a date?”
“I’ve never been scared of you. I don’t believe for a second you will ever physically hurt me. I don’t think you’d intentionally do that to any woman.”
Physically hurt me. She’s worried I’ll hurt her emotionally. I probably will. But I pray it’s not enough for her to end things. I pray if it happens, it’s something we can work out.
“I only want to keep you out of harm”s way.”
“I know. But I suspect that, now I know you’re carrying a gun, you always have one.”
“Not always. I didn’t at McGinty’s either time you were there, but that’s a controlled space for me.”
“But you did at the casino, right? And on our last date, right?”
“Yes.”
“Are you always in that much danger? Am I now in that much danger? Will I be a target?”
I want to sigh and run my hand through my hair. Instead, I tighten my arms around her hips.
“I live with constant threats, so yes, I’m always in danger. But I still go about my life like I don’t. I just take precautions. There was a creed among the families that women and children were off limits. My family broke it. No one living did it by choice. The men responsible for that are dead. But it’s changed the rules. The best I can answer your last questions is possibly. If I believed with certainty that you’d be a target, I would never have come near you. I’m selfish in bringing you anywhere near me. I’m selfish to know I’ll lie to you and want you to accept that. I also know I don’t want either of us to walk away.”
“Maria. Her family is one of those families, right?”
“Yes.”
She sits contemplatively, and I have no idea what’s on her mind. I give her time to work through whatever she’s thinking.
“I know she has bodyguards with her, even at work, but I assumed it was because her family is uber wealthy.”
“They are.”
She looks toward the privacy screen with my driver/bodyguard on the other side. “You are too.”
“We are.”
I still don’t want to push her. But I’m desperate to know what’s going through her head. She hasn’t hopped off my lap or demanded we stop. She got into the car with me.
“She goes to work and clearly goes out on double dates with her cousin. If I didn’t now know who her family is, I would have assumed they were just two well-off Manhattanite couples. Totally normal.”
“In many ways, they are.”
Except Carmine and Matteo have both tried to kill me, and I’ve gotten even closer to killing them. Four times.
“We’re doing something totally normal, too. I mean, ax throwing isn’t one-hundred percent normal, but we’re having a normal date. We did last time, too.”
“I want us to.” There’s nothing I want more right now.
She leans against me, her head against my chest. I rest one hand on her arse while the other runs up and down her back.
“What do I do if something goes wrong? Like if you have to shoot someone, or they’re shooting at us?”
“You get away as fast as you can. I don’t care if you think I’ve lost a speck of blood or gallons of it. You do not try to save me. You get somewhere crowded where you can blend in, or you go to McGinty’s. As you get to know other members of my family, you’ll know where to go if you’re near enough. If you have to hide, my family will come and get you. Either way, they will protect you. Always.”
And they will. The guys haven’t given me as much shite as we gave Dillan when he was into Mair, but not yet dating. They know I have a far lower threshold for teasing. It’s not that I’m thin-skinned. I just won’t tolerate it. I’ll walk away or hang up. They know I won’t put up with a single thing that might be a jab at me that comes at Thea’s expense.
“Could I get arrested for dating you?”
I don’t want to tell her what happened to Mair. “It’s possible. But it’s very unlikely. The cops and feds know we don’t involve women in the business. It’s patriarchal. It’s archaic. It’s misogynistic. And we won’t have it any other way. All of us were born into this. No one in my generation or my parents’ asked to enter a syndicate. The legacy that’s passed down should only be the men’s burden since we created it.”
“But they could go after me to get to you.”
“Yes.”
She nods against my chest. “Am I going to find a lot of scars?”
“I have more than I’d like. I know you’ll recognize I’ve been shot before. You’ll see some that you can likely guess came from a knife. We have a family doctor. Short of a ruptured organ or paralysis, we do not go to hospitals. Our doctor stitches us up.”
“Because GSWs and stabbings require the hospital staff to call the police.”
“Which leads to questions none of us will answer. Can you accept this?”
When she pulls the hand away from her arse, my heart tightens. I don’t expect her to guide it beneath her dress, up her thigh, and to her pussy. She’s so fucking wet.
“Have you been like this for me all night, cailín? I notice your panties disappeared.”
“Yes, and they did.”
“Do you want me to make you come?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s your pussy to play with.”
I slide two fingers into her, and she clamps her legs closed. She sits up enough to pull her dress down and lift her tits from her bra.
“Finn, what you told me is fucking scary. It should make me run away and never look back. I’m not wet for you because I have some bad boy, danger seeking fantasy. I’m wet because everything about you turns me on. Your acceptance of duty. Your loyalty to family. Your willingness to protect what matters. Who you are is just as hot as how you look.”
She lets her legs fall open again. I slide a third finger into her cunt and work her as she pinches her nipples and pushes her tits together. Her skin is so smooth it invites me to lick and nip at her neck. She shifts to straddle me so I can finger fuck her and suck on her tits at the same time. She’s riding my hand just like I want her to ride my dick. But I don’t want our first time together to be in a car. That’s way too cliché.
“Finn, more. Please.”
I increase the pressure as I rub her clit. She’s rocking against my hand and my hard on. Fuck, she’ll make me come before I get her off if she keeps doing this. I lift her and roll her onto her back as I follow her. I steal a kiss before I shift to kneel half on and half off the seat. I push her dress up and gaze upon the promised land. Her skin is silky smooth everywhere. I lave my tongue along her pussy lips before flicking her clit in a rhythm that soon has her writhing on the backseat. I slide three fingers back into her. She grabs my wrist and tries to push me deeper. I pull out instead.
“Finn!” She lifts her head to look at me with surprise.
“I decide how I’m going to get you off. I also decide when I’m going to get you off. Now I’m going to take even more time.”
She whimpers but lays her head back down. Saying nothing, she lifts her hands over her head and grabs the end of the leather. She knows she needs to do this to keep from grabbing me again.
“Would you like me to cuff you to my bed and fuck you until we can’t keep our eyes open?”
“Is that what we’re going to do tonight?”
“It can be. Is that what you want, little one?”
“Yes.”
“What else do you want?” I put my mouth back to her clit and suck.
“I want you to fuck every part of me.”
I slide my free hand beneath her arse and let my fingers dip between her arse cheeks. “Here?”
“Every part, Finn. I want to jack you off, suck you off, feel your cum dripping out of me. You decide where you finish.”
I bring her to the edge and let her jump. Her body tenses as she comes. God. The temptation to fuck her right now is pushing me past the point of reason.
“Finn, I have an IUD, and I tested right before I started seeing Tony. He always wore a condom. I insisted.”
“I’m clean too. I tested a month ago.” Because it’s a requirement for my BDSM club. “And I haven’t gone bareback since college. Is that what you want me to do?”
“I want to feel my pussy full of your cum as we walk into the restaurant. I want to know that’s our little secret.”
Fuck. That makes my balls ache.
I glance out the window. We still have at least thirty minutes before we get to the restaurant with the way traffic is right now. I move her legs and sit on the seat again. As I unfasten my pants and push down my boxer briefs, she yanks her dress off and unfastens her bra.
“Holy feck, Thea. You are gorgeous. Every part of you.”
I run my hands up her ribs and over her tits until I cup her neck. I tug her toward me as she straddles my hips. I’m so damn hard that I’m sticking straight up like a fucking telephone pole. She slides down me, and we both groan. I pinch her right nipple while my other hand keeps her head in front of mine. I tighten my grip slightly. She lifts her chin, lengthening her neck for me. I squeeze, but not quite hard enough to be breath play.
“I am going to fuck you until you’re screaming my name. Your cunt belongs to me just like my cock belongs to you. I’m going to fill you with my cum because I can. I have a dominant personality, but I am not a Dom. My cum is yours whenever you want it because you can. Just because I want control doesn’t mean you have none. Hell, if you want to fuck, I’m hard the second I’m around you, so just pull my dick out and take me.”
“I’m always willing to submit to you because I know I have the control to say no. If you give me free rein of your cock, you better be sure you know what you’re saying. If I want a good fuck, and you said I can have it whenever I want, I will accept the offer.”
“Good.”
Our kiss is beyond passionate. I wonder when— not if, but when —she’ll accept that offer to sit on my dick whenever she wants. She rides me, and I have to take some deep breaths when we pull apart. I’m going to embarrass myself with how fast I come. I was hard while I spanked her. I was semi hard while we threw the axes. I’ve had a raging boner since the second she sat on my lap. Since she sat where she belongs.
We push each other, fucking as hard as a backseat with allow. I pin her hips in place as I thrust over and over, making her tits bounce. Just like I did a few minutes ago, I turn us, so she’s lying down. I keep her hips up and pound her like a motherfucking jackhammer. I can’t stop. I rub her clit.
“Finn, I’m so close… Yes… I’m going to come… I’m coming, D— Finn.”
D— Who the fuck’s name was she about to say? That ought to kill my libido. It doesn’t. Just the opposite. I’ll fuck whoever she’s thinking about out of her mind.
“Say my name, Thea. Say it.”
“Finn.”
“Say it.”
“Finn.”
“Who’s fucking your cunt? Whose cum are you going to wear down your thighs until I say you can wash it off?”
“Yours, Daddy!”
We both freeze. That’s what she was about to say. That’s what she stopped herself from saying the last couple of times she nearly let it slip. I lean forward and rest my elbow next to her ear. I go back to fucking her.
“That’s goddamn right, cailín. You’re going to wear Daddy’s cum until I wash it away. Tomorrow morning. At my place. In my shower. After I spend all night filling you with more.”
I punctuate the short sentences with thrusts. She’s gripping my arms during the last five hard thrusts when I tell her this is going to last all night.
“Daddy!”
She keens the word as her entire body tightens so much she trembles. Perspiration beads along her forehead. She lifts her head so I can brush her braids out from beneath her shoulders and back. I watch her suck in lungfuls of air for a moment before she comes back to me.
“I want to make you come, Finn.”
I don’t care what she calls me right now. Either Finn or Daddy work for me. I keep going, and I feel her doing Kegels around my cock. I can’t hold back. With a grunt, I hold her hips in place as I explode inside her. My cock pulses over and over, and I know this is the hardest I’ve ever come. I scoop her up and move with ease as I take my seat for the third time.
“I’m not a Little, Finn.”
“You definitely are not. Calling me Daddy isn’t about age play for us.”
“No, it’s not. But I’ve never called a man that. I don’t know where it came from.”
“Have you thought it was hot in the past and just never said it?”
“Kinda.”
“I call you cailín which means little girl. Seems a logical response.”
“You’ve made sure I understand the risks I face. You’ve also made sure I understand you want to watch out for me and take care of me. You spoiled me at the casino. I’ve heard it in porn, and I guess it all fit together, then came out of my mouth. I think it’s super-hot that I’m naked and you’re still in jeans and your sweater.”
“I don’t want to be your Dom. And I don’t want you to be my sub. But I loved hearing you call me that.”
“You thought I was going to say another man’s name.”
“Can you blame me?”
“No. Keep fucking me like this, and there’ll be no space in my memory for anyone else.”
I’m still balls deep inside her, but I can feel myself softening. Neither of us moves. Her head is back where it belongs: against my chest. Her hand is resting over my heart, and she’s pressing soft, quick kisses to my neck. I know we’re almost to the restaurant, but I don’t want this moment to end. So much for not wanting to be a cliché. It’s just the two of us, and it’s so fucking peaceful. There’s nothing happening besides basking in the post-coital glow.
Damn. We’re here. Thea realizes it too because she tries to scramble off my lap, desperately reaching for her clothes.
“Thea, no driver will open the door until the passenger raps on the window. For all they know, the passenger could be on a call not meant for their ears. It’s okay. Joey won’t see you naked. That’s only for me.”
But she bites her lip, then nods.
“Thea?”
“Yeah?”
“You look like you want to disagree with that. We haven’t stated it plainly, but I want to be a couple. An exclusive couple. If that isn’t what you want, we need to talk.”
“I definitely don’t want to date anyone else.”
“But you aren’t on board that I’m the only man who sees you naked. Or is there a woman you’re also involved with?”
“No woman. I just have a fantasy that’s all. And since it’s obvious you’re into BDSM, I thought you might know somewhere we could roleplay it.”
Second date, and we’re discussing going to a BDSM club.
“Do you want people to watch us?”
Her cheeks darken, and now she’s hesitant to answer. Did I sound judgmental? I didn’t mean to.
“Thea? You can tell me anything you do or don’t want. Sexual or not.”
“It’s way too soon. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
“Is it a fantasy you’ve always had?”
“No. It just came to me.”
“If it’s something we can make happen, then we will. What do you want?”
“You’re going to think I’m?—”
“What I’m going to think is whatever you’re about to tell me is going to make me fuck you a second time in ten minutes, never mind what the fantasy actually is. Tell me, Thea.”
“I want you to fuck me while other people jack off.”
She’s mortified. I shouldn’t have pushed. She ducks her head.
“Sweetheart, look at me.”
She does, but she’s reluctant.
“I know where we can make that happen. If we do anything voyeuristic, it has to be like this. I have to remain clothed. My tatts are too distinct.”
I lift my sweater up, so she can see the shamrock with the O in the center on my left pec. It’s a rite of passage that I earned. I’ll never tell her how many people I killed on that mission to join the ranks. I have other ones that would stand out to people, but that’s the recognizable one.
“I can live with that. Would it be at a dungeon?”
“Yes. A BDSM club. I’m a member, Thea. If you decide you don’t want this, then I will cancel my membership. If you want to try the club but not the voyeurism, we can do that too. Whatever we decide, I am not going there without you.”
“I think I want to experience that. Can we wear masks or something?”
“Yes. Always. I won’t go in without one. Neither will you.”
“How would it work?”
“The place has a private viewing room in the center of the sectioned off space. Around the viewing room are smaller ones where individuals or couples can go to watch. It’s double-sided glass. The voyeurs can see what’s happening, but people on stage can’t see who’s there.”
She flexes her hips and rocks. My dick is swelling again, so it’s only a moment more before she’s riding me.
“Finn.”
It’s a whisper as she shatters again. I’m there with her a couple thrusts later. Then I’m helping her get dressed before she climbs off. I fasten my pants and give her a quick glance. She doesn’t look like she’s been well fucked, even if I’m certain Joey knows that’s exactly what’s happening back here.
Hell, it wouldn’t surprise me if my parents didn’t conceive me in the back seat of one of our family cars. Half my cousins and even my brothers probably were too. Our parents can’t keep their hands off each other. And more than once, I’ve arrived at an event in a separate car from my mom and dad only to see my dad straightening his tie or my mom fiddling with her hair as they get out.
I knock on the window, and Joey opens the door. I get out, pulling my sweater down in the back just to be sure. Then I reach in to offer Thea my hand.
“Do you want me to get the supplies?”
“Yes, please.”
Joey wouldn’t have left us alone at the ax throwing place, even if I’d suggested it. Which I wouldn’t with Thea with me. But I know we’re well guarded at Cormac’s restaurant.
Thea and I head inside and stop at the host stand.
“Hey, Finn.”
“Hi, Tom. Table for two, please.”
“Do you own this place as well?” Thea whispers as she looks around.
“No. Cormac does.” I grin.
I nod to a few people I know as we make our way to a table in the corner. I pull out Thea’s chair. I don’t love her back being to the windows, but at least I can see everywhere with my back to the wall. I don’t need to look at the menu here, but that’s not because I’ve been here so many times. It’s because I know what rolls I like. I stick my hand out, palm up. Thea smiles as she puts her hand in mine while she looks at the choices. It only takes her a moment before she closes it. After the sex we just had, how do we come up with something normal to talk about?
Feck me.
“Look who we have here.”