Modern Pen Pals

35. 에필로그 ‘Epilogue’

‘Hello Delilah,’ Ms Julie says as I enter her office. ‘How was this month?’

A few months after Moon Hee and I started dating, Ms Julie said I had been doing so well, she thought it was time to reduce our sessions to every other week. Six months later, here we are: my first session in a month.

‘It was great, actually. The bakery has been doing so good that I’m thinking of expanding it. I saw a for-sale sign on the shop next to mine and I can imagine tearing down a wall and making the space bigger, which now that the cold months are coming will be very handy.’

‘That’s fantastic! I rarely mix business and pleasure, but I’m very tempted to go try some of your famous baked goods.’

‘You can visit on Tuesdays. I’m not working on that day. That way, no mixing is done.’ I laugh.

Because of the latest success, four months ago I had to hire help. Nora, my twenty-three-year-old employee, is working solo on Tuesdays since they continue to be the slowest days. That way I can have two rest days and she has the weekends off, so I’d say she got a good deal.

Moon Hee also took Tuesdays off so we can spend more time together, even though we see each other every day.

‘I sure will!’ My therapist smiles. ‘But now returning to you, how are your nightmares?’

‘They’ve been subsiding significantly. I only had one this month—at the beginning—and since then it’s been quiet.’

When my mind calmed down from everything going on with my love life, I began dreaming about that night. It was awful at first. I spent a week afraid of falling asleep and waking up crying. There were days I had to take sleeping pills to see if I could rest, but I didn’t want to abuse them, so Moon Hee came to sleep with me every night. I felt bad for waking him up so many times, but after a month of reliving that nightmare, we finally got a good night’s sleep. Having him there for sure helped relax me.

‘Trauma takes a long time to overcome, but seeing you heal for the past two years has been a blessing. You’ve done a terrific job.’

‘There was a time when it really seemed impossible.’ I feel the moisture build in my waterline, but no tear is shed. After crying for so long, my body has become relaxed just at the thought of it.

‘When it comes to personal growth, everything is possible.’

I give Ms Julie a summary of my month and, on my way home, stop by InkPark .

‘Lilah, Lilah, my dear Delilah,’ Elijah says, smiling, as soon as his eyes land on me walking through the door.

I still remember seeing his forced smile around me and his flatmate in the first months, but time does heal the heart and his has moved on to someone who deserves him.

‘Elijah, Elijah, my dear…Sorry, I don’t know what to call you.’ I laugh and he joins me.

‘Your man is with a client, but you’re free to wait.’

‘Actually, I wanted to schedule a tattoo.’ I place my forearms on the counter and lean forward with a sheepish smile.

‘Another? You’re addicted,’ he jokes. ‘I might as well open a tab for you since you’ve become a regular.’

‘Says the man with two complete tattoo sleeves, and I spot a brand new tattoo around your neck.’

‘You’re looking at your future.’ He copies my posture and stares into my eyes.

‘My measly five tattoos still have a long way to go.’ I wink. ‘But I want you to do my next one.’

He forces a gasp, eyes wide with an overdramatic open mouth and a hand above it. ‘You would betray your boyfriend like that?’

I swap my hand on his arm and roll my eyes. ‘I’m still waiting for the tattoo made by you that you promised me almost a year ago.’

Elijah straightens his back, and picking up a pen, says, ‘For when?’

‘End of the month?’ I peek at the agenda to see if he has a spot.

‘Done.’

‘Thank you.’ I make a heart with my hands and walk towards the door.

‘Lilah!’ he says, and I turn my head around. ‘Becca and I will pass by your flat later.’

‘Okay.’ I smile and close the door behind me.

Never in my life did I think I would have such a close relationship with a guy I wasn’t dating the way I have with Elijah. I love the way we’re so comfortable around each other and how he always brings out my loud side.

I walk inside my home, the house I’ve lived in for the last ten years, and sigh. So much has happened in a decade, yet the place remains the same. The walls haven’t been painted, the sofa is the same, the small dinner table remains in its corner. Memories fill this place, but I’m getting ready to make new ones.

Elisa must be at Sofía’s. Sofia said she’s moving, so they’re most likely packing. It’s a shame she’s leaving though because they won’t be as close as now, but I’m sure they’ll figure it out. They’ve been dating for almost a year, so they’ll probably be taking the next step soon.

The moment I place down my purse, my phone vibrates on the table. I glance over at the screen and the word MUM floats in bold.

‘Hi mum,’ I say, pressing the green button.

‘Lilah, hi. I wanted to confirm your presence and Moon Hee’s for dinner next Monday.’

After our conversation about trying to start over, my parents cancelled their move to Beverly Hills. They said they had a reason to stay after all.

‘It’s confirmed. We’ll be there at seven.’

‘Also, I think it’s time to meet Ms Yu Ra. Do you think she’ll want to come also? Your father has been pushing on it for a while and I agree.’

‘I’ll check,’ I chuckle. ‘Send kisses to Dad. As soon as she gives me an answer, I’ll tell you.’

‘I will. See you Monday.’

Parents meeting each other means something big, but I know we’re ready for it. It’s funny to think back to how my mother judged Moonie when she saw him the first time here, and now she can’t get tired of him—he’s the son she never got. And even though I still notice how my dad tenses from time to time when I’m there, I also don’t remember the last time I’ve seen him smile so much.

I saw how much of a burden our relationship was for all of us and it’s been a blessing to see us heal from it.

Daldust’s letters sit on my desk in a transparent box. I like to reread them from time to time. They helped me as much as Moon Hee did in real life and even though I know I can simply talk with him now, sometimes I miss the pen and paper.

The sound of the doorbell rings and I walk out of my room to check who it is. I look in the peephole, but all I see is my neighbour’s door, so I open mine.

I glance around, but the hallway remains empty. Did I imagine the sound?

As I’m about to close the front door, my eyes stop at the floor. A grey envelope lies near my feet.

I pick it up, but the only word written is Delilah. There’s no reference to the sender.

I walk inside and open the letter in my room.

“Dear Delilah,

I know it’s been a while, but I missed this. I missed you.

I know your life has been through a lot of changes in the past year and I can’t tell you how proud I am of you.

Proud of how strong you are while still being vulnerable. Proud of everything you accomplish and simply proud because you exist.

You bring light into my days, and I just want to repay you by making you the happiest. Seeing you smile is the same as breathing for me. And I want every day to be a breath of fresh air.

I hope to make you smile today.

Yours truly,

(Your boyfriend) Daldust”

He just did. Receiving this letter was as heartwarming as it was strange.

My smile turns suspicious. Why would he send me this? I’ve told him I missed his letters, but my gut is telling me there’s more to it.

I shake the thought and focus on tonight’s hang out. We’re now three couples and Jeremiah. I’m thinking of setting him up with Nora. She seems like his type. I just need to figure out her type.

For tonight I’m baking a few croissants, pigs in a blanket, and pizza, with a key-lime pie and a banana bread for sweets. Everyone always eats as if they’ve been starving all day just for our Friday nights.

My headphones fill my ears with music while my hands mix up batter and my ass shakes to the rhythm of the tunes. This is my time, when I get to forget the world outside and focus on me.

An hour later and a few batches of food done, I’m bopping my head to the sound of OOHYO’s Pizza , which I found to be fitting for tonight’s menu, when a hand wraps around my waist.

I do a tiny jump, surprised I’m not the only one in the room, and turn my head around to find his dark eyes smiling at me.

My lips meet his and he sneaks a finger in the banana bread’s remaining batter before licking it and passing the flavour on to me.

‘Delicious,’ Moon Hee says. ‘Just like the baker who made it.’

He never fails to heat my cheeks.

‘I didn’t hear you come in.’ I gave him a key when he came to spend nights here and since then, he never bothers to ring the bell again.

‘Of course not. I’m trained like a ninja.’ He chuckles.

‘Oh, that must be it, not the noise-cancelling headphones.’

‘I knew you’d see the truth.’ He wraps his other arm around me and pulls me closer to his chest. ‘How was your day?’

‘Perfect now that you’re here.’

His head tilts to the side. ‘That should have been my line…’

‘I’ve learned from the best.’ I wink.

My man lifts me to sit on the counter and places his lips on my neck’s skin for a few seconds before whispering into my ear, ‘Do you think we have time?’

I open my eyes. ‘Elisa has been gone for a while, so I’m not really sure. She could be coming back any second or stay until after dinner.’

‘Works for me.’ Moon Hee picks me up over his shoulder and walks us to my room, slapping my ass on the way.

‘Wait! I only have twenty minutes before the bread is done.’

He puts me down with my back on the bed. ‘No time to waste then.’

I laugh, and he takes off his shirt. I’m not the only one growing my tattoo collection.

‘Your sleeve is almost done,’ I say, watching his arm.

‘Yeah, next week I’ll be finishing it up.’

I’m about to make more conversation when his mouth finds mine, making me forget all the words I was thinking. His hands trace my figure in a slow, caring pace, and when they touch my nipples, a shiver runs down my spine.

My hand finds the bulge in his pants, and I know he’s as ready as I am. Maybe twenty minutes will be more than enough.

He lifts my shirt and meets my breast with his lips. I’m glad I’d already taken my bra off, one less layer to remove.

A moan escapes my mouth when he sucks my nipple and unlike the times we needed to be quiet for having flatmates, this time nobody’s home.

His kisses trail down my belly, and his hands continue to please my breasts before they remove the sweatpants I’d changed to when I got home. Moon Hee traces his middle finger through my panties and I inhale at his touch.

‘You’re already so wet…’ he says with a smirk.

He kisses my panties between my legs before removing them and meeting his tongue on my clit. My eyes close and I grab the sheets as his hands hold me at my waist while he works down there with his mouth.

His pace fastens and my hand moves to his head, my fingers mixing with his hair. ‘Oh, Moon Hee…’

Two fingers enter me and I know I won’t last long this way, but I stop him by taking his hand out and pulling down his cargo pants.

‘I want to come with you inside me,’ I say.

‘Your wish is my command.’ My boyfriend wets his lips before meeting mine concurrently as his length finds my entrance.

I moan into his mouth as pleasure fills us. Skin to skin, in the rawest form of connection, the entire world vanishes, and it’s just us. Our time.

Our fingers interlock and we make love to each other, moving our bodies as one. With every groan and moan, we are getting closer to utopia.

Not long after, I sense my body stiffen under his, my legs trembling around him, and I squeeze his hands while coming undone, panting. The moment he sees me relax, he unlocks our fingers, wrapping his hands around my wrists, and fastens his pace, kissing me harder as he comes.

I’ve noticed how incredible he is at holding himself back, making sure to pleasure me first, so we both end up satisfied.

He lays next to me and as his eyes stare into mine, his hand places my hair behind my ear.

‘I love you, lilac,’ he says.

‘I love you too.’ My head is on his chest, my hand tracing his skin, when a thought pops into my head.

‘Oh my god!’ I say, getting up in a flash, grabbing my robe and running to the kitchen.

My banana bread.

I turn off the oven and open it; thankfully we were fast, so it hasn’t been that long, but the top was already getting burnt.

I take the bread out of the oven and place it on the counter to cool.

I’ll just remove the top. It’s fine.

A messy-haired Moon Hee wearing only his black cargo pants appears in the kitchen. ‘Did it burn?’

‘It’s fine,’ I say, observing how long his hair has grown. His fringe now reaches his eyes, even though he likes to part it more to the sides so his forehead peeks out, but his mullet has fully grown.

‘It completely slipped my mind,’ he says, leaning on the kitchen’s entrance frame, making me desire a second round.

‘The food is done. We should get ready for the others.’

He nods and walks to my room so we can get dressed. Glancing over to my desk, I spot the letter and remember to ask, ‘Why did you send me a letter?’

He looks back at where I’m staring. ‘I just wanted to have in writing how much you mean to me. Did it make you smile?’

‘It did.’

‘Then mission accomplished.’ He sits next to me on the mattress, and I place my head on his shoulder.

‘It was really just that? No hidden agenda?’

His silence makes me think there is, in fact, a hidden agenda. Moon Hee can’t lie, he knows that, I know it too, so he prefers to stay silent when he doesn’t want to tell the truth.

‘I guess I’ll find out later,’ I say, and he gives me a peck on the forehead.

Half an hour later, Elisa and Sofía enter our flat. Moon Hee and I ended up going to the sofa and watching an anime episode, since they’re a lot smaller than a K-Drama one would be.

‘We brought drinks!’ My flatmate lifts two white plastic bags.

‘For the month?’ I ask.

‘Trust me, more than half of it will disappear tonight,’ she says.

‘Are we playing a drinking game?’ Moon Hee asks.

‘Aren’t you a smart one?’ Elisa winks at him.

Not long after they arrive, the doorbell rings. I get up and walk to answer it.

‘Hey hey,’ the woman with long copper locks says, arm intertwined with Elijah’s.

‘Hey Becca. Hello again, Elijah.’ I look behind them, but the place her brother usually occupies is empty. ‘Where’s Jeremiah?’

‘He’s not coming tonight, already had plans with his new friends.’

‘New friends?’ I ask.

‘He met a group of people when he went to the arcade and apparently got along with them very well. Also, I think there’s a girl in the group he’s interested in, so…’ Rebecca chuckles.

‘Can we come in?’ the man beside her asks with a sigh. ‘I’m hungry!’

‘Let the baby go ahead,’ I say to his girlfriend.

‘Thank you.’ Elijah kisses my head as he walks by me, but I notice how Becca’s eyes turn to the side.

‘Are you uncomfortable with how Elijah and I interact?’ I ask her as she walks inside the flat.

‘I’m just not used to it,’ she says, avoiding my gaze. ‘I know there’s nothing going on with you.’

‘We’re really just great friends. Besides, he’s totally infatuated with you.’

She chuckles, her eyes meeting mine. ‘It took a while for him to accept to go out with me. After you, he isolated himself; to heal, he said.’

‘I’m just glad you didn’t give up. Look at you now.’ I smile.

Becca glances back at her man and the corners of her lips lift. ‘Yeah…’

‘Let’s go. Apparently, there’s a drinking game tonight.’

‘Uh…Fun!’

We walk into the living room and all four people present glance at us in silence. Did we walk in on something?

‘ Kaja (Let’s go), let’s get this party started!’ Elijah claps his hands together.

I go over to take a croissant and a glass to drink. I pick the first one in front of me. It has a blue stripe across it—each glass has a different colour so we can better identify our cup—but it disappears from my hand in a second .

‘I already got a glass for you.’ I glance to my side and watch Moon Hee put the blue-striped glass back on the table.

‘Oh, okay, thank you.’

We start with a normal card game to warm up and enjoy the food and conversation, but after half an hour Elisa goes to one of the white bags and gets out Do or Drink Naughty Edition .

I stare at her, my mouth half opened. ‘We’re playing that?’

‘I thought it would be fun since it’s just couples, so Sofía and I went to buy it. I’m so eager to try the game!’

‘You knew it was just couples tonight?’ I ask.

‘Yeah, I talked with Elijah earlier and he mentioned Jeremiah wasn’t coming.’

‘That’s why you said you and Becca were coming tonight when I was at the parlour?’ I turn to Elijah.

‘Yeah.’ He nods.

Moonie wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me closer. ‘Are you okay?’ he whispers in my ear.

‘Yes…Just…I don’t know. I think I’m reading too much into everything,’ I say in a low tone, for only him to hear.

He turns my head to his and joins our mouths. The softness of his lips always eases my mind.

‘Lovebirds, leave that for the game,’ Elisa says.

‘Who starts?’ Rebecca asks.

‘Oldest and youngest do rock-paper-scissors to see who wins. The winner goes first,’ Elisa says.

‘ Joayo (I like it),’ the men say in sync. They look at each other, surprised, and laugh.

‘Okay, so…I’m twenty-eight,’ I say. ‘Elisa is still twenty-seven and Elijah is twenty-eight. Moonie just turned twenty-six a few days ago. How old are you, Sofía and Becca?’

‘I’m twenty-six too,’ Sofía says.

‘Ah, I’m the oldest…I turned thirty last month.’ Rebecca hides her face behind her hands.

Elijah turns to his side and pulls hands away so he can look her in the eyes. ‘Still sexy as always.’ Her smile grows and her head leans on his shoulder.

‘So by default, Rebecca is against Moon Hee because he just turned twenty-six while Sofía’s birthday was back in March,’ Elisa says.

‘ Gawibawibo ,’ Moon Hee says.

‘Paper wins rock.’ Rebecca smiles.

‘Okay, draw the first white card,’ Elisa says, handing her the deck.

‘Vote: on the count of three, every player has to point at the person they think is better in bed,’ she reads.

‘Juicy. We’re starting well!’ Elisa beams. ‘Everyone got their answers?’

Fuck. Fuck, no.

‘Okay, one…two…three,’ Rebecca says and everyone points at their significant other except me and Elijah.

Is he having the same problem as me? Sex with him was fun, but the intensity with Moon Hee is out of this world. The way he can be sweet but be choking and spanking me the next second is enough to send chills all over my spine. But I don’t want to hurt Elijah’s feelings, because he is very good too.

‘Lilah?’ Elisa asks, frowning. ‘Elijah? Don’t you know your answers?’

Elijah glances at me and I can see the despair in them. He’s not having the same problem as me. My eyes widen and I slightly shake my head no to him, hoping no one saw it, but knowing everyone is looking between us. Everyone except Moon Hee…I sigh, a weight on my heart.

Now he thinks he’s not my first choice.

I look once more at Elijah, who gives me a small nod and we each point at our partner. In the end, sex should be better with Rebecca because their intimacy transcends the physical.

I grab Moon Hee’s hand and whisper to him, ‘Sorry for hesitating, but I didn’t want to hurt Elijah’s feelings. It’s definitely you.’

‘Even if you don’t mean it, now I know I need to step up my game, so next time there won’t be any hesitation,’ he whispers back.

‘But I do mean it.’

‘I still want to make sure.’ His smirk tells me I have a lot waiting for me tonight.

We face back at the group, and Elijah takes a card.

‘Draw a black card,’ he says.

‘Yes!’ Elisa claps.

‘Take off a piece of clothing every time someone drinks until you’re down to your underwear. Stay like this for the rest of the game or drink two shots.’

‘You’re lucky. Besides my girl, everyone has seen you naked. Not fair, you got an easy one,’ my flatmate says.

‘I’ve seen him in swimwear, so it will be the same. Yeah, an easy one.’ Sofía nods.

‘Jesus, do you want me to take another card?’ he asks. ‘I’ll take another card.’

‘Draw a black card, again,’ Elijah reads. ‘Spin the bottle and make out with the person it points to, both of you must do this or take two shots.’

‘That’s better, thank you,’ Elisa chuckles and gets up to grab an empty bottle.

The bottle spins and stops right in front of him.

‘Sorry mate, but no,’ he laughs. Both he and Moon Hee take two shots.

Then it’s Moonie’s turn to take a card. ‘Guessing Game: guess the most sensitive spot on the body of the person on your right.’

‘That’s easy,’ he says and closes in on me, licking with the tip of his tongue on the space between my ear and neck. I inhale, and he sucks on it.

‘He definitely knows,’ Rebecca says with a chuckle.

‘He’s doing the one that’s appropriate for the viewers,’ Elijah says to her.

Our heads move to him, and his flatmate’s lips tighten. ‘They didn’t need to know that.’

‘It’s okay, it’s not like it’s a secret,’ I say. I don’t know what’s going on with Elijah today. ‘My turn.’

I draw a black card and read it out loud. ‘Sit on the lap of the person to your right for the next round or drink twice.’ I look at Sofía and smile when she pats her legs for me to sit.

‘How you doing?’ she says, and we laugh.

Then Sofía needs to demonstrate her first kiss to a player, so I get off and let her dramatically French kiss her girlfriend, which makes us all laugh, then I’m back on my new spot until it’s my turn again.

‘Text a random number “want to get freaky?” or drink twice.’ Elisa chuckles and grabs her phone. ‘I’ll just tell them later it was for a game.’

We go for a couple more rounds until Elijah gets up to go get more food from the kitchen and I follow him.

‘Hey,’ I say, and he glances at me. ‘Is everything okay with you today? You’re making it seem like you’re not over me after all.’

‘It’s not that,’ he chuckles. ‘I’m perfectly happy with Becca, I just…I found some photos of us on my phone and it brought back memories and for some reason, I got jealous. You’ re still the one who understands me the best.’

‘I get that, but think about how uncomfortable you’re making your girlfriend.’ I pat his shoulder. ‘You just need to let yourself open up to her. I know it’s funny that I’m saying this, but it’s true. Only then you can live up to your full potential.

Before I walk over to the living room he speaks again. ‘Hey, Lilah…I really am happy for you.’

‘I’m happy for you too.’ I give him a soft smile.

Joining us, Elijah whispers something in Rebecca’s ear and kisses her. Maybe he apologised.

When I grab my glass to fill it out, something sparkles on the bottom. I frown and turn it around to find something taped to the bottom. Because of it being concave, I hadn’t noticed something in the middle every time I placed it down on the table.

It’s a key.

I look up and see everyone watching me. Moon Hee takes the key and turns to me.

‘Delilah Scott, after having a wonderful nine months by your side, sleeping almost every night together, either in your flat or mine, I thought it was time for us to have our own place. Will you move in with me?’ he says.

‘Oh my god, Moonie. Yes, of course I will!’ I hug him and everyone cheers. ‘This is why you wanted me to have this cup!’

‘Yeah, I was hoping you’d finish the drink to notice.’ He chuckles.

‘You all knew?’ I ask.

‘You’re staying in Sofía’s flat, and she’s moving here. This way, we’re all still close to each other and we don’t need to run around between houses. And you, Elijah, will have one all for yourself. Rebecca and you will have fun, I’m sure,’ my soon to be ex-flatmate says.

He smiles and places his arm around his girlfriend’s shoulders, kissing her temple.

‘What if I said no? What would happen to that plan, since Sofía is all packed to go?’ I ask.

‘Well, we didn’t think you would, but if that was the case, she would still move in with us.’

‘And I would still move to hers. That way we could have more privacy,’ Moon Hee says.

I turn to him and kiss the bloody hell out of his lips. I can’t wait to move in with him. Like I said, I’m so ready to create fresh memories, and as long as the people in this group are present in them, I know they’ll be happy ones.

‘Shall we continue to play? We still have a long night ahead of us,’ I ask, and they agree.

My smile never fades throughout the night as we laugh and have fun the way only people who’ve found others that match their energy can. The way only we can.

The End.