Chapter Fourteen
When Lukas had said ‘boat’ Katherine hadn’t been sure what to expect.
Yes, she had seen pictures of him on board—taken by paparazzi with their telephoto lenses—but the truth was that while she loved fast cars, she knew virtually nothing about boats.
This one was bigger than her apartment, and far more luxurious too.
But it wasn’t anywhere near as fast as she had expected it to be.
Lukas threw himself out of planes, raced cars, went skiing and mountain biking; she expected that to translate to the water.
‘You seem surprised.’ He looked amused.
‘It’s slower than I thought it would be,’ she confessed, hugging her arms in her thick cable-knit sweater.
Lukas stood at a large silver wheel, steering the boat easily, with Katherine at his side.
They were going out just far enough to be alone, which was why they were up on the fly bridge and not inside at the main helm.
‘I come out here to get away from everything. I don’t need it to be fast, I need it to be calming.
’ Lukas stopped the boat, mooring them at a point out on the water from which Katherine could see all of Monaco.
It was a completely different place during race weekends.
Now it looked spectacularly beautiful, calm, peaceful.
Though it would never again be peaceful for her.
Now every future trip would be full of memories of Lukas.
His arms snaked around her waist.
Just an appearance, Katherine. This was his idea.
‘Let’s go down to the rear deck.’
His lips trailed up her neck causing a rush of excitement within her but her body reacting so readily to him also saddened her.
Are you wanting more from Lukas?
Before, she would have said ‘no,’ a flat out honest refusal. But she didn’t know anymore.
He led her down to the rear of the boat furnished with plush couches around a fixed table.
‘Have a seat, I’ll be right back.’
From the couch she kept her eye on the principality, guessing from this distance where his apartment would be.
Maybe she was growing too attached. Maybe she should leave.
Lukas knew what her deal was. She couldn’t change her mind on relationships, so he would understand if she made an excuse to go back to London.
After promising to stay for Christmas?
She didn’t want to hurt him and pulled out a small gift box from her handbag.
‘What’s that?’ Lukas asked, placing a plate of fruit on the table.
He sat close to her and her hand automatically went to his thigh as if she couldn’t stand to not touch him. His hand closed around hers, keeping it there. Beneath the table where no one could see. No photographer would spy such a small, private show of affection. And it confused her more.
She placed the box in front of Lukas. ‘Your birthday present.’
With his free hand, he pulled away at the ribbons and opened the box. She watched him pull out a crystal snowflake ornament.
‘Seemed appropriate.’
He grinned. ‘I’d say so.’ With the ribbon the snowflake was attached to threaded around his middle finger, Lukas picked up the plate and stood. The sea breeze ruffled his light brown hair and plastered his sweater to his torso. ‘Come with me.’
Lukas turned to walk through the glass doors, waiting for her just inside and shut them as soon as she was through.
‘I thought we had to make a public appearance. What are we doing?’
‘This is just for us, Katherine.’ He took her hand and she paid no attention to the luxurious living area or the rooms they passed on the way to the main cabin, which was decorated in dark woods and soft lighting.
‘Don’t get stuck in your head,’ Lukas said.
‘This doesn’t have to mean more than you want it to, but we’ve met our obligation, and I really don’t want to share this part of you with anyone.
’ He sat Katherine on the edge of the bed, placing the plate down beside her and the snowflake next to it.
‘Have I read your gift wrong? This is a reminder that we’re temporary, is it not?
Is no strings sex like we had in the cabin not what you want? ’
Katherine had bought him that snowflake because no matter what happened between them, they would always have Lapland, the place where they connected with each other, memories of how good they could be together.
But she could see how he would interpret it as a symbol of what they’d shared there, passion with an expiry date, and only that.
A reminder that they were always meant to be temporary.
She could have corrected his understanding, but what difference would it make? This wasn’t forever.
‘I want you, Lukas.’ That was an irrefutable truth and the best deflection she could think of.
Lukas knelt before her, taking off her shoes one by one. ‘Silly Katherine,’ he said, moving to pop the button on her jeans, then pulling off her sweater. ‘You can’t want what you already have.’
But she didn’t have him, not really.
I can pretend I do.
As soon as Lukas had said the words, he wanted to take them back because now Katherine would overthink them.
She was falling for him, he saw it in the things she did, the words she said, in her eyes that hid so little, but she didn’t want to.
She was with him to save her career. If she was starting to feel more, she would likely quash those feelings because her success would always come first. He understood that.
Respected it, even, because that was how he’d ended up in this situation too.
Except he couldn’t lie to himself. What he felt for Katherine was far more than just passion or lust. The problem was they could never be more because she was still a journalist, and he didn’t want a life lived in the media.
You’ve found a way around that right now.
A few weeks wasn’t a lifetime.
A lifetime wasn’t what Katherine wanted.
So now it was up to him to help them focus on something else. Get them out of their heads.
He lay Katherine on the bed and peeled off the rest of her clothes, dropping them to the floor and leaving her wearing nothing but the gold ring on her finger. Then he took off his own clothing, smirking as the look in her eyes changed from pensive to hungry.
He crawled over her, letting his skin brush hers, but he didn’t kiss her in any bruising, intoxicating way. He kissed her lightly. Teasingly. Maddeningly. And when she tried to push up on her elbows to reach his lips, he grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head.
‘You don’t get to rush this.’ He wanted to take his time because when it came to Katherine, time was very much a finite resource. One day soon she would be gone and this connection that was more powerful than anything he’d shared with anyone else would be gone too.
‘You’re a damn tease, Lukas,’ she complained.
‘I am.’ He reached over to the plate and plucked a piece of mango.
‘But I’m a nice tease. I see that hungry look—’ he leaned down to whisper in her ear ‘—and I’ll feed it.
’ His cock twitched and at the same time, he brought the piece of fruit to her mouth and she obediently bit into it with a moan.
Juice glossed her lips and ran down his fingers.
He put the rest of the piece in his own mouth, savouring the sweetness.
Katherine freed a hand and pulled his towards her, licking the tracks of juice up his skin to his fingers, which she took into her mouth, sucking them clean one digit at a time. It was his turn to moan out loud.
‘And I’ll happily take it all,’ she husked.
Damn this woman. ‘You’re killing all the restraint I have.’
‘Then let go.’
‘I want to make this special for you,’ Lukas confessed.
‘Why?’
‘Because I’m certain you’ve misunderstood my intentions for bringing you here today.
You got so quiet after I told you what we’d be doing today—that we’d be making an appearance.
I didn’t say it to remind you of the state of things between us.
I said it so you’d know that I respect your commitment to your career, that I wouldn’t jeopardise it, which means showing up publicly.
But I also wanted you to myself, Katherine.
’ He ran his nose up her neck, inhaling her scent.
A scent that he both craved and didn’t want in his bedroom because when she left and it lingered, it would be torment.
‘And right now, we’re perfectly alone. No one can see us.
No one can hear us. You’re mine and I’m yours. ’
Katherine closed the gap between them, kissing him savagely and he wished that it wasn’t just for right now.
He wished things could be different. He wished he could call himself Katherine’s without any quantifiers.
But that wasn’t reality. Reality was the ache in the base of his abdomen from how badly he craved her.
It was his brain clouding over from the touch of her tongue to his.
It was the pleasure encompassing his whole body as if he’d dived head first into a pool of pure ecstasy.
He needed her to know this pleasure too.
So he broke away from her lips, his stomach somersaulting from the half-blind way she looked at him—lust in her dilated pupils—and he kissed a path down her chest. He stopped to worship at her breasts, his body moving with hers as she writhed.
‘Lukas,’ she whimpered, ‘more.’
He grazed her nipple, revelling in the way she cried out and continued kissing down her body until he was hovering above her sex.
Her skin glistened with her arousal, making him curse under his breath.
There was a look of anticipation in her eyes that matched the feeling burning through his body.
He needed her. Wanted her. And he would have her now over and over so that she would chant his name until it was so embedded in her soul, she would never be free of him because he would never be free of her either.
His mouth closed over her smooth skin, his tongue delving through her folds as he sucked her clit into his mouth making her shout his name.
He’d never known such satisfaction. He was thankful they were on the boat so no one would hear them but wished with equal measure that they were somewhere public so everyone would know it was his name on her lips. And maybe in her heart.
He feasted on Katherine, drinking from her as her breaths grew louder and her moans more insistent.
Until she was pulling on her hair and on his.
Until she was fisting the covers and bucking her hips.
Locking her legs around his shoulders, he reached towards her with his hands so she could grab on to them.
A tether as she threw her head back and screamed out her release.
Her hands grew slack and then she was running her fingers through her fiery red hair, eyes still scrunched shut and Lucas needed her in his arms through her journey back to earth.
So he lay on his side beside her and pulled her to his chest, but it wasn’t enough.
He needed to be closer. He grabbed her thigh, hooking it over his naked hip, sliding his hard aching cock into her slick heat, groaning animalistically as he watched her face.
His heart racing. Consumed by her taste, and her smell and her satin skin.
‘Yes,’ she said in a laboured breath with a content smile and flushed cheeks.
How was he ever going to say goodbye?
He had been protecting himself by keeping her in her own room, but tonight that would change. From this point on she would sleep in his bed and leave her presence all over his home. He would enjoy every bit of having Katherine tied to him while he could.
Until Lukas thrust into Katherine, making her sing a litany of moans and whimpers, he hadn’t known a heart could soar and hurt at the same time. But Katherine’s hands caressed his cheek, and he didn’t care.
‘More,’ he begged. ‘Touch me everywhere.’
Mark me for life.
‘You’re ruining me,’ she said so close to his lips that they were breathing in each other’s pants.
‘You already have.’ He tried to memorise her roving touch on his chest and back and hair.
His hands travelled the length of her body, followed the perfect curve of her ass.
Fingers digging into the soft flesh, and Katherine’s movements, matching his, became more urgent.
Any hope he had that he could take his time went out the window as he started thrusting harder, faster.
Lost to sensation and lust and everything Katherine made him feel.
There was a coiling in his spine. Every nerve ending screaming for release.
‘I—I’m so close,’ Katherine stuttered through a frantic breath.
‘Touch yourself.’ He wanted her feeling as much pleasure as it was humanly possible to experience.
He took her hand from his hair, brought it to his mouth, licking her middle finger and slid it between their bodies, making her gasp but he could feel her climax building in her body. In the way she gripped around him.
‘Come for me, Katherine,’ Lukas ordered. Demanded. Begged.
And then she was clutching onto him in a violent hold, her voice going hoarse as wave after wave of her climax washed over her pulling Lukas into the most intense release of his life.
‘Fuck,’ he growled, holding tightly on to her. He couldn’t let go. He couldn’t open his eyes. But he felt wetness fall from Katherine’s face onto his arm and he knew exactly what she felt. This was different. This was so much more than any other time they had sex because this wasn’t sex.
This time, out on the water, they made love.
They made love.
He loved her.
A woman he could never have. A woman fighting for her career in the media. The very same media he hated, but she was different. She had integrity, she was selfless and kind. And he trusted her.
He trusted her enough to be physical with her when he hadn’t been with anyone for three years. He trusted her enough to confide in her about his mother…his career.
What would it be like to be with her?
Their whole relationship would be in the public eye. People would think he was accepting of the media because he was with one of them. But right now they were in his boat because he had found a way around the attention.
Could he do this all the time? Did he want to live his life this way for the woman he loved?