Chapter Ten
LILY SWAM AGAINST the resistance, but burning her energy with a tough swim to nowhere wasn’t enough to stop her overthinking.
She hadn’t lied. She wouldn’t concede anything, wouldn’t change the course of her life and agree to matrimony just because he’d told her something terrible.
But that he’d told her something at all softened her defences against him.
Every moment she spent with him led her more and more into like.
She didn’t just relish their moments in bed, she adored every other second as well.
Sure, he was outrageously bossy and she knew he had a ruthless streak, but knowing more about why he’d become like that helped.
He wasn’t the cold, unfeeling CEO she’d once thought.
Grief and guilt were terrible twin burdens.
Trite words couldn’t heal wounds like his.
Nor would an ill-considered marriage. She wished he’d understand that he didn’t need to feel responsible for her.
But he did. That was why he was being gentle with her.
Spoiling her with time, his attention, delectable food and drink and sensual delights.
He wasn’t seducing her, he was lulling her.
Normalising indulgence and making her feel safe and lazy enough not to argue anymore.
To agree. It was a carefully considered strategy.
But it was a strategy and he was only doing it because she was pregnant.
She had to work harder to resist him.
She’d stayed with him in Singapore because she’d wanted to resolve their situation.
Her baby deserved to have both parents in its life and she’d wanted to work this out amicably.
But he was so very challenging, so very charming.
He made her laugh, made her feel seen and heard and alive.
The idea of happy family times—trips to playgrounds, parks—was so tempting.
She’d not had a childhood filled with those things and like Massimo, she wanted the best for this baby.
She even understood that their child would need guidance in handling the Hearnshawe pressures and privileges.
But he’d had enough turmoil in his private life and she wasn’t adding to it with her equally messed-up family. She wouldn’t cause him more trouble.
She and Massimo could manage everything necessary with a co-parenting situation.
Everything could be in a contract. But that was the difference between her and him.
Massimo saw their marriage itself as a contract, nothing more.
Whereas marriage for Lily meant something else.
Something idealistic and romantic and impossible.
All sorts of emotions swirled within her.
She had the horrible feeling she felt more for him than like.
She was horribly afraid she was falling in—
No. She couldn’t believe that. She couldn’t trust her own emotions.
And she certainly couldn’t emotionally invest in someone who didn’t want to love her back.
She already had an entire family who didn’t love her back.
Massimo had never actually wanted to marry anyone and she couldn’t marry him without risking her vulnerable heart too much.
Because she already liked him far too much. More than liked him.
She rolled to her back and glanced up to the deck.
He was on a lounger there, frowning at his tablet.
They couldn’t stay in Singapore much longer.
He was working slightly longer each day and his phone was ringing more frequently—with him looking more harried with each interruption.
He worked too hard. She rolled back and kept swimming.
She’d worked almost all her life. In her parents’ garage, then on her own.
She’d kept her distance from her colleagues, knowing if she ever were to mix work with pleasure that she would lose her job.
Indeed, that was what had happened now. But she would rebuild her future and yes, she would let him help.
She honestly had little choice about that.
But eventually, she would repay every penny of the fees and costs he would cover for her. She would have to for her own peace.
The party was in a few hours. Apparently, it was at a rooftop bar in the heart of Singapore.
There would be drinks, canapes, dancing.
Aside from him, no one who knew her would be there.
Her family was on the other side of the world, and the P1 circus had long since left town. They would be out but almost unseen.
She looked at Massimo again. He’d fallen asleep on the lounger. She smiled, happy to see him fully relaxed. It didn’t happen all that often.
She got out of the pool and wrapped in a large towel.
She’d bought a dress online and had it delivered to their hotel—spending a little of her savings just for the sassy joy of surprising him.
She’d even made an appointment at the hotel beautician.
Because tonight was going to be hers. She would be his partner out in public just this once—it was private enough for her to risk.
Then, for her own protection, their sexual intimacy had to end.
They would go back to England; she would stay strong.
They would parent as allies—she would survive it. That was what she did.
But before she had to face all that difficulty, she couldn’t resist one last night of indulgence.
Massimo woke to silence. No gentle splash as Lily swam. His eyes shot open and he sat up. The water in the pool was still, while the area around it was completely dry. She’d not recently left it. Was it not the middle of the afternoon?
‘Lily?’ He went into the villa, suddenly chilled.
There wasn’t some old race playing on the screen.
Her notebook and pen were on the table, but she wasn’t on the sofa.
He stepped into the bedroom, but she wasn’t resting in there, either.
He glanced at his watch and realised it was far later than he’d thought.
He went back to the deck for his phone. No message. No note.
Where was she? Had she left? No. Her bag was still here, her notebook. Even so, he panicked.
The door opened and he shot over. She walked in looking like sunshine. Her hair hung over her shoulders and her skin was burnished gold. He just gaped.
Her eyebrows arched. ‘What’s wrong?’
Relief buffeted him so hard he had to lean a hand against the wall. Damn.
‘Has something happened?’ She frowned.
He cleared his throat and pulled out a smile. ‘No, I just woke up.’
‘You’re breathing funny. Did you have a nightmare?’
Something like that.
‘I went to the hotel spa. I didn’t want to wake you.’ She paused. ‘Did you think I’d left? I wouldn’t do that, Massimo. Don’t you trust me at all yet?’
Did that mean she was starting to trust him?
‘I just…’
Panicked upon waking.
Because yes, he’d thought she was gone. But it was his over-the-top reaction to her possible absence appalling him now. He shouldn’t be this freaked out. ‘Sometimes bad things happen.’
‘Not today.’ She smiled tightly. ‘Do you still want to go out?’
He stared at her. She truly looked golden. He realised her makeup was done—her mouth was extra glossy. His lungs squeezed. Because she’d gone to the spa. She was always alluring, but she’d made an effort and he wasn’t wasting it with some tragic overtired overreaction.
‘Yes,’ he growled huskily. He needed to get out of here. ‘I’ll just… I won’t be long.’
‘Okay. I’ll get into my dress.’
He flicked the shower on freezing. He’d never before felt horror at being alone.
He liked being alone. It was how he’d engineered his life.
To focus on work. To be there when he had to be for Emiliano—but at a distance.
But waking up and believing for a mere moment that Lily was gone?
That had almost caused a heart attack. Her presence had become important to him.
No. The heat was getting to him or he was coming down with something.
He was fine. He yanked on a suit, determined to get a grip.
He was doing well. He’d juggled work and gotten an even more important deal over the line.
She was thriving—hell, even in the few days they’d had here, her belly had rounded slightly.
He had to get her to say yes to him so he could back the hell away.
She didn’t believe that she was an appropriate fit for his life; taking her out he would show she was wrong. Brooding, he stalked out to the lounge, caught sight of her and almost fell over his feet.
‘I’m a walking red flag,’ she joked.
‘It’s not a stop signal you’re sending me.’
‘No?’
She wasn’t wearing the white dress he’d expected. It was a red wisp designed to incite uncontrollable desire. It worked.
‘Come on.’ He had to get them out of there.
She was making a statement, just not the one she thought she was.
She thought she wasn’t an appropriate partner for him?
That she was a danger? She couldn’t look more perfect to him.
He’d never been more grateful for an enormous car with a driver and a privacy screen he immediately enabled.
Then he sat back and drank in the vitality in her eyes, her shining hair. God, she was blossoming.
‘Your skin is gleaming,’ he muttered.
‘It’s the beauty treatment.’
‘Not the treatment.’
She tilted her head, studying him as much as he was studying her. Only she seemed a little more calm about it.
‘Do you miss racing cars?’ she suddenly asked.
He blinked. ‘I don’t have time to miss racing cars.’
An immediate deflection but she saw right through it.
‘I think you do,’ she whispered. ‘You like to go fast.’
He lifted his collar away from his neck. Despite that icy shower, he felt unbearably hot. He’d had moments of unrest in his life, but this was something else.
‘You don’t do many of the things you like,’ she added. ‘It’s all for the company, never just for yourself.’
Oh she was wrong.