Chapter Nine #3
Before Caius could respond to that or really parse out what she was trying to say, she’d pulled down her dress, exposing her breasts, and said, ‘Make love to me, Caius, that’s all I want.’
Caius weakly pushed aside any misgivings because he wanted her too badly and his blood was on fire. The ripe curves of her breasts begged for his hands and mouth.
He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her towards him. ‘Now this,’ he breathed, ‘is what I have wanted all evening.’
He cupped each heavy weight in turn and then lavished the taut peaks with his attention. His mouth, tongue, teeth.
‘Oh, God, Caius…my legs, I can’t stand…’
Caius pulled her dress down the rest of the way and stood up, letting her get onto the bed. He took off her shoes and pulled down her underwear. She was naked and for a moment he felt humbled by her beauty.
He stripped with indecent haste, making her laugh when he couldn’t undo a button and ripped the shirt. He felt feral with the need to join with her and block everything out. Maybe he was the one with the excess hormones?
He came onto the bed and said, ‘I need you to be on top, Poppy. I want to see you, riding me.’
He saw her cheeks flush at that suggestion and then she came up and, when he was lying down, straddled him, placing her hot core right there, against his erection. Caius groaned. ‘You’re going to kill me and I’m not even inside you.’
Poppy came up on her knees and reached behind her for him, and this made her back arch and her breasts thrust out. Caius put his hands on her hips and bit his lip when he felt her wrap his cock with her hand and guide him to her entrance.
And then she sank back down, taking him in, so deep he was seeing stars. She started to move, bending forward slightly, putting her hands on his chest, the movement squeezing her breasts together.
Caius was in the grip of a fever, the sight of Poppy riding him, from her breasts to the fertile swell of her belly, it was the most erotic experience of his life.
He could barely keep it together but the second he felt her splinter around him, he let go with a cry of release and when she came forward onto his chest, face buried in his neck, breathing harshly, it was all he could do to rub her back and slide into a sea of blissful oblivion where there was no need to think about what Poppy had tried to say to him. Clearly it hadn’t been that important.
At some point he woke, and immediately knew something was wrong. Poppy wasn’t in the bed beside him. Had he heard a sound? And then he did hear a sound, like a low moaning.
Caius was up and out of the bed and at the door of the bathroom in a second. He opened the door to find Poppy sitting on the toilet, dressed in a robe. She looked at him and her face was white.
‘Caius, I’m bleeding.’
It was all a blur as soon as Caius appeared at the bathroom doorway and took in the situation.
Poppy was bundled back onto the bed. Caius pulled on clothes while talking on the phone in curt sentences.
Then he was lifting her into his arms and taking her out of the apartment down to the street and into the back of a car and then they were at an emergency room under bright fluorescent lights.
The doctor—who looked as if he’d been called from his bed—did a thorough exam, and a scan, and asked Poppy a million questions and then stood up and pulled his gloves off, saying, ‘We’ll keep you in overnight for observation but the baby seems well and, as far as I can make out, the bleeding is just some cervical irritation. Did you have sex recently?’
Poppy blushed, very aware of Caius in the room. ‘Um, yes, tonight.’
The doctor was totally unfazed. ‘OK, well, maybe refrain for a week or two and then keep it to the less energetic end of the scale. Any sign of more bleeding, come straight back in, but, really, I don’t think there’s anything to worry about. Baby is well.’
The doctor left, a nurse appeared to make sure Poppy was comfortable and the panic was receding. She looked at Caius and realised he was as pale and stricken-looking as she felt.
This evidence that Caius was affected too made Poppy feel emotional. For so long she’d felt on her own, with no one who could share her experience. And she was glad it was Caius. She couldn’t help but feel an affinity with him now that she knew so much more about his past.
‘Caius, it’s OK, the baby is OK.’
He came over and took her hand, shaking his head. ‘I’m so sorry, this is my fault.’
‘How is it your fault?’
‘The sex… I never thought that it could do harm. It was selfish.’
Poppy’s mouth opened and shut and then she said, ‘It wasn’t your fault or mine. It’s just a little irritation.’
He took his hand away, his voice heavy with self-recrimination. ‘I could have harmed the baby.’
Poppy curled her hand to a fist as if trying to hang onto his warmth. ‘No, you couldn’t have. Sex during pregnancy is quite normal. The doctor said it was probably just a burst blood vessel!’
He looked at her and his eyes were haunted. ‘When I make love to you I forget about everything…maybe I was too rough.’
Poppy’s heart turned over. ‘You weren’t too rough. I was there too, remember? It’s the same for me.’
He shook his head. ‘I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened to the baby.’
Poppy felt both gladdened at the evidence he cared, but also a little ashamed to admit to feeling bereft because obviously she wanted him to care about the baby but she also wanted him to care about her, too.
‘She’s fine, Caius. You should go and get some rest. I’ll be OK.’
He was emphatic. ‘No way, I’m staying here.’ Poppy remonstrated with him but he was determined.
Eventually she fell asleep with Caius in the bigger chair in the corner of the room, watching her as if she were a parcel that might explode at any moment.
When she woke up next, she saw that Caius was asleep in the chair, head at an awkward angle.
He was wearing sweats and a T-shirt. She realised he’d pulled on odd sneakers.
And that was when she could no longer stop the surge of emotion.
More emotion than she’d felt in her life because she’d spent her whole life damping it down after learning no one wanted her emotion, or love. Not her father and not her mother.
But here, with dawn rising outside and no one else around, Poppy couldn’t stop it.
She was in love with Caius and all the lessons of her lifetime had come to naught, because she’d just put herself in the worst harm’s way when she would suffer the rejection coming her way because Caius didn’t feel anything for her.
And she went cold all over to think of how she’d almost exposed herself spectacularly—buoyed up from the evening and the club and everything, she’d actually asked him if there was any possibility they could make it work together…
And he’d looked at her. ‘Did I give you the impression that I wanted more?’ No. He had not. She’d just hoped…but clearly any sense of intimacy she’d felt yesterday evening had been rooted purely in the physical. All he’d been concerned with was getting her back into bed.
When she’d expressed she’d like to go clubbing again, he’d very pointedly not included himself in future excursions. She’d noticed that too.
The message was loud and clear. He didn’t want emotional involvement. And she got it, he’d been through his own family trauma. Except he’d obviously learnt not to let any vulnerability in. Something she’d failed at.
But maybe where his daugher was concerned, he could love her. And if he did, then Poppy couldn’t be selfish and ask for love for her too. If her child could grow up loved by two parents, even if they weren’t together, then that would be more than she could hope for. More than she or Caius had had.
At that moment Caius woke up and those eyes seemed to pierce all the way through her. He jumped up. ‘Are you OK?’
Her heart ached. ‘I’m fine. I just woke up.’
‘I’ll get the doctor.’
Poppy opened her mouth to protest but he was gone already. This side of attentive, caring Caius was seriously seductive but she had to remember that it was for the baby’s sake. Not hers.
The doctor came into the room. ‘Well, how did we sleep?’
‘Caius, I can walk, you know,’ Poppy huffed as Caius scooped her up into his arms from the dining table.
They’d been back in the apartment for a week, having been advised to take it easy for a couple of weeks.
But there was no indication that anything more sinister was going on. Much to Poppy’s relief.
‘I’m not taking any chances,’ Caius said as he carried her from the dining room up the stairs. A nurse had visited each day to check Poppy and take vitals, et cetera, but Caius had been on hand every moment, hovering like a mother hen, bringing Poppy food, drinks, books, magazines.
As much as she appreciated it, it was beginning to grate on her nerves, as was being in the apartment. ‘I need to go for a walk, Caius. I can’t go back to bed, it’s mid-morning.’
‘You need to rest.’
‘I’m not an invalid.’ Nor was she immune to the fact that Caius’s chest felt like warm steel under her and her blood heated in response.
The doctor had told them to abstain from sex for this couple of weeks and Poppy was all too aware of how voracious she’d become, acutely aware of the hunger she felt for Caius.
He seemed to be having no such problem, touching her as solicitously as the nurse did. No hint of sexual desire.
He put her down on the side of the bed and stood back. He was wearing dark trousers and a white shirt. He’d been working from the home office, and assistants had been coming and going.
Poppy stood up and said firmly, ‘I’m going to put some clothes on and I’m going to go into Central Park. And you should go into the office for a few hours.’
‘No.’
Poppy refrained from stamping her foot. ‘Caius, I’m going.’ She stepped to the side of him and went to the dressing room. He followed her to the door and Poppy ignored him as she shucked off the robe and pulled on underwear, maternity jeans, a bra and a loose shirt.
When she turned around, Caius was red in the face and his jaw was gritted so tight a muscle was pulsing.
Her pulse kicked. Was he angry? Or did he want her?
If he hadn’t lost interest after this little health-scare no-sex interlude, then he soon would.
He was a highly sexed guy. And he’d turned her into a highly sexed woman.
He’d also made her fall in love with him.
Damn him. She slid her feet into a pair of sneakers.
‘Don’t try to stop me, Caius.’
‘I’m coming too.’
Poppy panicked. She realised she needed space from Caius as much as she needed some air and exercise.
She already felt as if she was taking up so much of his time.
‘You really don’t have to. I’ll bring my phone.
Security will be shadowing me.’ Having him fuss over her as though he really cared for the last week, and wanting him, was just about breaking her.
But she wasn’t to get any respite. He folded his arms and she recognised that obdurate expression.
‘Please, Caius, I just need some air and space.’
An expression crossed his face but it was gone so fast she couldn’t interpret it. Eventually some of the tension left his form and he said, ‘Fine, but security will be with you, and make sure your phone is on.’
Poppy did a mock salute. ‘Aye, aye, sir.’
‘Cute,’ Caius said, and then, ‘Sit down.’
Poppy did, on a chair, and watched, bemused, as Caius bent at her feet and laced up her sneakers. It was just as well—with the bump growing, it was getting harder to do things like bend over.
He stood and put out a hand and she let him pull her up. She was so close to him her belly was pressing against him and after a moment, when Poppy was willing him to just kiss her—so much for her wanting air and space—he moved back and let her go.
‘Enjoy your walk.’
Before Poppy could humiliate herself, she left the bedroom and made her way out of the apartment.