Chapter Fifteen #2
The door flies open. I whirl around, then growl as Dominic and Cassian saunter in.
“Whoa.” Cassian holds up his hands. “Chill, bro.”
“What are you doing here?”
Dominic raises one brow. “We were supposed to meet here for dinner?”
I grab the back of my neck and try to massage out some of the tension that’s turned it into a stiff board. No luck.
“I forgot.”
“You, Aiden Hawke, the most organized man in New York, forgot?” Cassian plops into my chair and puts his feet up on my desk, grinning when I glare at him. He glances down at my desk. I make it halfway across the room before he picks up the copy of the job listing.
“Executive assistant?”
I rip the paper out of his hand. “None of your concern. Are we going to dinner or what?”
“First,” Cassian says as he rises and heads toward my liquor cabinet, “we’re having a drink and you’re telling us why you’re suddenly in need of a new assistant.”
“No.”
Cassian ignores me as he pulls out three glasses and my most expensive brandy. Dominic slowly walks over, hands tucked casually in his pockets.
“Did you two have a fight?”
The quiet calm in his voice banishes my anger, leaving me empty once again.
“Not really a fight. Seraphina and I realized we weren’t right for each other.” I turn away and look back out over the city. “The engagement’s off.”
“Here.” Cassian pushes a glass into my hand.
“Thanks.”
I want to toss back the entire glass, want the burn of alcohol and the blessed mercy of forgetting for just a while. But I’m not about to cede control now when I need it the most.
“The New Field deal fell through. I pushed Seraphina away. She gave me back the engagement ring.”
Dominic’s eyes widen a fraction. The smallest gesture that speaks volumes for a man who is even more adept than I am at concealing his emotions.
“Yeah.” My grin is humorless as I glance at Cassian.
“I messed up. You were right. The engagement was fake. One of my clients threatened to walk if I didn’t settle down.
I had a big deal on the line with him, and once those photos hit the press, Seraphina agreed to help me.
” I raise my glass and take another drink.
“Something changed between us. I got to see another side of her and I liked it. I liked it a lot.”
Cassian snorts. “Like’s not the word I would use.”
“Well, you’re not me,” I snap back. “If I was capable of loving her back, I would.”
Dominic puts a hand on my shoulder. “You care about her, Aiden.”
“Of course I care.” Dominic’s rare display of affection unsettles me, makes me restless. “But caring isn’t enough. Not for Seraphina. She deserves love.”
Cassian brings the bottle over and tops off my glass. “So what, you don’t love us?”
I roll my eyes. “We kept each other from starving and saved each other’s lives more than once. We earned the respect we share. It’s different.”
“How?” Dominic pushes. “She worked herself like crazy for you for three years. You said yourself she made you a better advisor. And then she agrees to a fake engagement to help you.”
“I saw the way she looked at you.” The teasing tone is gone from Cassian’s voice, replaced by a seriousness I’m not used to. “And the way you looked at her.
“You know what I admired the most about you for so long? How strong you were. Even on the worst days when we were digging in the trash for food, you never flinched.” Cassian’s frown deepens. “But you’ve taken it too far. You don’t have to do this on your own.”
“My pain is private,” I ground out. “I don’t share. With anyone.”
“You shared with Seraphina,” Dominic says quietly.
“And that was a mistake,” I retort. “She’s already been through hell. I have no right to ask her to stay with me when I’m incapable of being what she needs.”
“Did she ever ask you to change?” Cassian demands. “Did she walk away after Randolph pulled out, or did you push her away?”
I blink. My heart starts pounding in my chest, thundering against my ribs.
“I…” My breath rushes out. “She offered me time. Space. Whatever I needed. But I didn’t want her to get pulled in.”
The emotion I’ve been suppressing is starting to simmer, rise up. I try to keep it down, to maintain some semblance of control.
“She knows you, Aiden.” Dominic approaches, stops behind Cassian. “Just like we do. We’ve always been here for you. And I imagine, if you gave her a chance, Seraphina would be, too.”
“But you didn’t even give her a choice.” Cassian throws up his hands and stalks back to his chair, dropping down into it a frustrated exhale. “And is that because you’re protecting her or protecting yourself?”
The accusation hits me square in the chest. I stare at him, the words penetrating my shield.
Every time I pushed Seraphina away, she gave me space.
Time to deal with my demons while never wavering from my side.
She saw me, all of me, and instead of letting her in, I gave in to fear and pushed her away.
“That’s one of the things I love about Aiden…”
When Seraphina said those words in front of George Randolph in Venice, the way she looked at me, I knew. Deep down I knew she wasn’t just acting for Randolph’s sake. And I knew the feelings she stirred inside me weren’t fleeting. No, they were feelings I’ve been fighting for far too long.
My lips part. “I’m in love with Seraphina.”
Cassian throws up his arms. “Finally.” He points at Dominic. “You owe me fifty bucks.”
I glare at them. “You bet on me being in love?”
“Oh, we both knew you were.” Dominic pulls out his wallet and slowly starts pulling out ten-dollar bills. “Cassian just bet we could get you to say it out loud before dinner.”
I’m in love with Seraphina. I’m in love with the assistant who saw my passion and did everything she could to help my firm grow.
I’m in love with the fire dancer who wields flames with confidence.
And I’m in love with the woman who once thought she was broken and, instead of locking herself away, rebuilt herself piece by piece.
She’s not perfect, but I don’t need her to be.
I just need her to be who she’s always been.
I need to talk with Seraphina. Need to tell her how I feel, how sorry I am. She may take one look at me and tell me to go to hell. But I need to take this chance. Need to know I did everything I could to show her I love her and, God willing, win her back.