Chapter 11
Music blared through the speakers as I swayed my hips to the beat, piping bag in hand and a smile on my lips. While part of me wanted to say this good mood was because of who I had woken up with that morning and how we’d woken up, the honest part of me knew it was because of the cake currently looking like the pièce de resistance of my entire baking career.
Sex and emotions were nice.
But sometimes cake was better.
I must have had a little too much sugar and caffeine and not enough vegetables because sex with Ridge was far better than cake.
However, looking at all of my hard work and knowing I’d kicked ass?
That was freaking fantastic.
I stood back and smiled at the cake. It was a salted caramel cake with a decadent fluffy and moist interior with rich buttery filling. I had added oozes of salted caramel for an extra delight. Just a touch of salt made it intensely amazing, if I did say so myself. I had made a set of pistachio cupcakes earlier, and I was thrilled with how they turned out. The dessert for the restaurant tonight was a raspberry chocolate truffle cake, which had been fun to make. Later I’d be working on a carrot cake, as well as peanut butter cupcakes for a baby shower. Tomorrow I had a Bananas Foster cake and a red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting scheduled to bake. And then later this week I was making a coffee cake with vanilla espresso buttercream, and a caramel apple cake. Next week I got to play with an Earl Grey and vanilla bean buttercream, and then a lemon elderflower cake.
My mouth was watering just thinking about all of that, plus I had a tasting with the pistachio and the salted caramel and a hazelnut praline as well as a vanilla latte with a fresh raspberry jam. I loved my job, and I loved working with clients and figuring out their perfect cakes. Because many of the weddings were big enough to need more than one cake, I got to do cupcakes and desserts and cream cakes as well. That meant a lot of flavors, but a lot of hard work that I could take pride in.
My stomach rumbled, and I realized that I’d only had cake and coffee most of the day. It was time for me to eat a real meal and take care of myself.
“My mouth is watering just looking at that,” Kendall said from behind me, and I looked over my shoulder and smiled.
“I am pretty proud of myself with this one. Now I just need to make the caramel-covered praline shards and shoots, and it’ll be ready to go.”
“That won’t take you that long at all.”
“And then I head over to the photographer, and the staff will be cutting it so I don’t have to be there, which is good because we have a long list to work through.”
My stomach rumbled again, and Kendall raised a brow. “You know I do make food that can feed you. You’re allowed to eat.”
I blushed, then went right back to work, finishing up the last bits by dipping the walnuts and almonds in homemade caramel and stringing out the ends to make perfect shards. Thankfully it wasn’t a hot day so this wasn’t going to melt, but we would still have to be quick about it.
“I’m almost done, I promise. And then I will eat all the things.”
“As long as you’re taking care of yourself.” Kendall paused, and I looked over at her for a minute before putting my attention back on the hot caramel so I wouldn’t injure myself.
“What is it? Is there something you need, or am I doing something wrong?” I winced as soon as I said the words, knowing they weren’t coming from anything recent, but from my own past experiences. It wasn’t their fault that I had worked with people who ended up hating me. Who had reminded me day in and day out that it should have been me who died and not their precious son. I understood their pain, but not their anger at me. It hadn’t been my fault. Therapy had helped me learn that. But they would never understand.
“No, you’re doing wonderful. You are the best addition we’ve had here in a while. And that’s saying something because I’m very selfish when it comes to my kitchen. And we’ve had some amazing additions. I’m so happy that you’re here.”
I finished up the last shard and looked over at her while wiping my hands on my towel.
“What is it?” I asked, suddenly concerned.
“I know you’re trying to probably keep this secret, but I saw the way you and Ridge looked at each other.”
I froze, the towel slipping from my hand before I forced myself to catch it.
“Oh. Oh. Well, I guess I don’t know the rules?” I asked, my voice going high-pitched at the end. “With work, and I guess the family. Well…I’m just going to…well. Never mind.” I turned to clean up my station, while the staff members—who thankfully hadn’t been listening to the conversation thanks to their headphones—moved to take the cake away.
I waved at it, knowing that no matter how much work I put into it, it would soon be dismantled.
“No, that’s not what I’m saying,” Kendall said after they left and put her hand on my shoulder. I turned to look at her and saw the distress on her face.
“I’m happy for you. I was more worried that if you wanted to keep it secret, you two should probably stop giving each other long looks whenever you are in the same room or near each other. Because we’ve noticed. At least the girls. I have no idea if the Wilder men have figured it out yet. And I don’t even know what it is. We just know there are looks. I’m curious and I totally want to know everything, but I know you probably need some time to think about it, so I’m going to let you have that. But, well, I figured you should know.”
I blinked at her, wondering what the answer was here. Because I didn’t have any. Of course, people would figure it out. I couldn’t keep my emotions off my face when it came to Ridge, not that I even knew what those emotions were. I saw the way he looked at me. I could still remember his taste. It only made sense that people would figure it out. I just hadn’t thought beyond our own needs and desires. Our own fledgling…whatever this was.
“I don’t really know what to say other than I’m sorry.”
“Please don’t be sorry. Seeing you smile, seeing Ridge smile? It’s amazing. And we don’t have a workplace rule against dating,” Kendall started. “It’d be mighty hypocritical of us, considering how many of the Wilders have married people that work here.”
“Oh, it’s not, it’s really not that,” I said, putting both hands up.
Kendall snorted. “I know. If that happened, I would sit you down and ask if you needed to take a break. No one needs to get married after, what, three weeks of knowing each other? Maybe more. Oh, has time flown by.”
I swallowed hard. “Tell me about it. But no, it’s not that. I just, well, I have no idea what this thing is or what it will be or what it could be. I’m just enjoying myself. Which is something I haven’t done in a long while. And I don’t want Ridge to feel pressured. Especially because we work in a place surrounded by weddings and happiness and, well, that is totally not on the table.”
Kendall met my gaze and studied my face before she nodded. “Okay. Take your time. Just know that I don’t think it’s as secret as you want it to be. And we are very nosy. We want to know everything. But we’ll give you some time. Just a little bit of time.” She put her two fingers together, barely letting light through.
I laughed and shook my head. “It’s good to know about the workplace rule, or lack thereof. And I guess I’ll have an awkward conversation with Ridge about the fact that his cousins and brothers will probably figure things out soon if they haven’t already.”
Kendall beamed. “They probably don’t know. They’d already be annoying all of us if they did. We women are a little quicker. We figured it out, but we’ll give you some space. Until we don’t. Because one day I will attack you with wine and cheese and will want to know it all.” She winked as she said it, and then moved my shoulder so I faced the door. “Go eat. Go see if a certain Wilder is on break so you can eat with him. Get out of here.” Then she pushed me out of the kitchen, and I laughed, wondering how I had made a friend so quickly. I had already told Joni all about her, and Joni was ecstatic for me. There wasn’t a jealous bone in Joni’s body. She would never be annoyed that I was making new friends, and she was even overjoyed that I was actually trying. Leaving the house, baking things that I loved, and getting away from the memories that never seemed to end. I counted that as a win.
I said my goodbyes and cleaned up after myself before I headed to pick up something to eat from the employee area. And as if I had conjured him into existence, Ridge was there, an energy drink in hand and a brow raised.
“Hey,” I said, suddenly feeling awkward about seeing him, especially after the conversation I’d just had. He must have seen something on my face because he tilted his head and gave me a look.
“What’s wrong?”
I shook my head. “Nothing.”
He moved forward, putting his thumb under my chin.
“What’s wrong?”
There was something about the command in his voice, that deepness that sent a little thrill through me. There was probably something wrong with me and I didn’t care.
“First, I haven’t eaten all day so I’m starving, but also, I just had a very weird conversation with Kendall.”
Ridge’s eyes widened. “Well, let’s get you something to eat, and then we can talk about what she said.”
I shook my head. “You have to get back to work. I know this isn’t your lunch break.”
“I can take a few minutes.”
“Let me just grab something quick. And what she said wasn’t bad, it was just that I believe the female subgroup of the Wilder clan knows. They don’t know everything, but they know that you and I are…well, doing what we’re doing.”
And now that I said that out loud, it sounded ridiculous. Maybe labels were important to prevent you from sounding like a dumbass when you were speaking.
Ridge let his hand fall before he started to laugh and shook his head.
“I suppose that makes sense. They know everything that goes on around here, even if we pretend we’re the ones that do.”
I bit my lip. “I’m sorry. I know we haven’t talked about it, or what exactly is going on, and I know it’s no one’s business but, well, there you go.”
“Hell.” He ran his hands through his hair, making it slightly messy, and way too sexy for his own good. There was seriously something wrong with me in this moment.
“Is your only response to this going to be to laugh?” I asked, wanting to laugh with him but still feeling a little nervous.
Ridge moved forward and cupped my cheek before he leaned down and brushed his lips against mine. Anyone could be walking down the corridor, then again anyone could have walked in when we had had sex in his office. We weren’t really hiding it very well, were we?
He leaned back and pressed his lips to my cheek before lowering his hand and giving me a look.
“We’re fine. I’m just surprised it took them this long. I’m not surprised however that they knew before we did that we were together.”
I wanted to ask him what he meant by together. But then again, this wasn’t the time or place to ask. And I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer. Because what exactly did he want? If I didn’t know what I wanted, why was I allowed to know what he wanted? After all this time it was nice just to be. That wasn’t something I allowed myself to do often these days.
“Hey, Ridge, we need you,” Trace said from down the hallway, and Ridge stiffened before he looked over. “On my way.”
“It’s nothing serious, Aurora. You don’t have to be worried. Promise.”
I blushed but shook my head as Ridge opened his mouth to say something, but I interrupted him. “Let me go eat. I’ll see you later?”
He studied my face, then leaned down and kissed me again. “Yeah. I’ll see you later.”
And then he was gone, and I felt even more confused than before. Or maybe not at all. Maybe this was exactly what it needed to be. Just moments like this, precious ones, stolen ones, and eventually I’d figure out exactly what I wanted.
I wasn’t sure it was going to be Ridge Wilder. Wasn’t sure I wanted it to be Ridge Wilder. Not when he already did something to me just by breathing.
He ran off, all strong and protective to do something to literally protect the people here. And now I needed to go eat something quick and go back to baking and making sure people’s memories and moments were as perfect as they wanted them to be.
I wanted to kiss him again. I wanted to be with him again. I just wasn’t sure what either one of us could take beyond that. Because it had been enough time, according to some people, for us both to move on. But he still hadn’t told his family about his loss. They didn’t know he was grieving. So how did I fit in his life?
And when was I allowed to ask?
I didn’t have the right. I knew that. Just like I knew we would never use the word “replace” when talking about either of our losses. Because we were coming to this label, whatever it was, from similar pasts. Because William was always going to be here. Just like Heather would always be here. They would always be in this relationship, whether we wanted it or not. And I didn’t think that was a bad thing.
I just didn’t know what that meant in the long term.
Or whether it needed to be long term at all.
I was talking myself in circles, so I shook my head and went to get something to eat before heading back to the kitchen. Because that’s what I needed to focus on. Things I could fix, things I could make better.
Not things that might break me. I had just pieced myself back together. And I wasn’t sure I could do that a second time.