Chapter 12
Me:Dinner tomorrow?
Aurora:It depends on how late the wedding runs. I’m still at the pink event now.
Me:See you after? In case dinner tomorrow doesn’t work?
There was a long enough pause that I was afraid that I was going too hard too fast. I didn’t know why I was even asking this. I didn’t know where I stood with Aurora, other than the fact that we connected far too quickly. She made me want to open up, to be better. I didn’t understand exactly how we had gotten here. I wasn’t sure where we would go after this.
Aurora:Okay. Just let me know where you are. It’s going to be a long night.
Me:If you need help, let me know. I can get out of this.
Aurora:Excuse me? No. This is your brother time. You know Wyatt was looking forward to dinner with the four of you after all this time. The other Wilders and I have the wedding and property taken care of. Enjoy your time with your brothers.
I wondered how she understood the situation so quickly. But she did. She knew what I felt, and not just because I told her some of it. She just understood. I’d never met someone that understood me like that. We were so good about not discussing what that meant. We were in our own little bubble here on the Wilder property. Between me living here and working here, and us being able to find food here often, we rarely left the place. But in the weeks since the wedding where we had met, we had settled into a routine. We ate dinner together when we could, mostly at my cabin. I had been to her place a couple of times, but it was easier to be here. Easier to see each other on our lunch breaks, for me to come visit her when she was working on a big cake. And I really liked cake.
It made sense that we would stay here, rather than leave and go anywhere else. That was going to have to change, I knew. She deserved that. Whatever this was between us, she deserved being taken out and not feeling like she was being hidden. Not that I was hiding her.
Only, I wasn’t quite sure if I was ready to show her off.
And that was on me.
Me:I’ll text you when we are done. Have fun. And save me some cake.
Aurora:Of course, I have cake for you. And I would say something suggestive about that, but we both know that I’m still too new at this whole thing to.
I laughed, said my goodbyes, and then looked up to see Gabriel staring at me.
“What?” I asked after a moment since Gabriel hadn’t said anything.
“So.” He drew out the word. “Who are you texting?”
“I don’t know why that’s any of your business.” I slid my phone into my pocket, and Wyatt came over, finger pointing at me.
“Aha!”
“What? Why the hell are you pointing at me?”
“It’s a girl. You have to be talking to a girl.”
Brooks came out, a towel in his hands as he dried them off. “Is he finally going to spill about Aurora? Because us pretending that we don’t know that they’re together or banging or whatever they are doing is getting quite annoying.”
I looked between the three of them and pinched the bridge of my nose. “Are you serious right now? You want to talk about what, my feelings? Aurora? Or can we just go and eat and stop prying in my life?”
“Aha,” Wyatt repeated.
“Stop saying that. It makes no sense.”
“It makes perfect sense. You now have a life. Aurora has ensured that. We need to know when this happened, and what your prospects are, and just tell us everything.”
I looked between my three brothers and wondered exactly why I had decided that having all of us live near each other, at least when Gabriel was in town, and work with each other was a smart idea. Just because it worked for our cousins didn’t mean it would work for us. I should have just nipped this in the bud and stopped the whole thing. But no, I had wanted family time. And now I was paying for those decisions.
They all began to talk at once and I held up my hands. “Seriously, how is this any of your business?”
“Because it should be.” Gabriel shrugged and leaned back in his chair. “You all moved here, with me being the occasional guest, so we could get to know one another. To be in each other’s business. So let us be. Tell us. What are you and Aurora doing? Can you finally talk about it? Is it serious? Are you dating? Are you just sleeping with each other? Are you going to break that poor widow’s heart like you told me I wasn’t allowed to do? Tell us.”
“Everything he said,” Wyatt put in as he popped a tomato in his mouth from the antipasto tray on the table.
I sat down on a chair across from them, put my elbows on my knees, and then covered my face with my hands.
“I really don’t have time for this now.”
“See, I think you’re lying. I think you have all the time in the world.”
“I don’t know what’s going on between us. We’re just enjoying each other’s company.” That sounded as if that was the best I was going to come up with, but Gabriel just rolled his eyes.
“That sounds like the copout I use when I’m trying to talk to anyone but the press.” My youngest brother sighed. “Of course, when I do talk to the press, I say nothing. Because that’s exactly what the answers are.”
“So, you haven’t slept with every single person the media assumes you have?” Wyatt asked, snagging a piece of prosciutto.
“Of course not. I think my dick would fall off after all that use. Don’t you?”
“I don’t tend to think about your dick,” Brooks answered before he reached out for an olive.
I looked between the three of them and figured dick talk and all, that this was why we moved to be near each other. Yes, I knew we were probably all running from our own demons, but the closeness was why we were here. So maybe it was time I actually talked about more than just what was going on with Aurora and me.
“I don’t know what’s going on with me and Aurora, but I’m not going to hurt her. Because she’s not the only one who’s lost someone.”
They all froze and stared at me. Brooks paled and took a seat hard next to Gabriel.
“What do you mean?” Brooks asked, and I knew I probably should have told him separately. But then again, maybe he would need our brothers soon, just like I did in this moment.
“Aurora lost her husband. Like you all know. And it’s been five years and we’re doing what we’re doing. I don’t know what it means, I don’t know how serious it is. But I need to tell you guys about Heather.”
“Who’s Heather?” Gabriel asked, his voice so soft I barely heard it over the roaring in my ears. It felt as if someone were tearing up my heart and taking whatever pulp was left and smashing it into the carpet below. I hadn’t felt this kind of pain when it came to Heather in so long that it felt new again. I knew that I would never be over Heather. But I had learned to grow. To be strong.
But in that moment I felt weak.
“Heather was my girlfriend, up north. Before I moved here. We had been together for a couple of years.”
“She’s the girl you mentioned in passing,” Wyatt said, his brows furrowed. “I had forgotten about her. Mostly because we were all dealing with our own shit, and I just thought you broke up. What happened to Heather, Ridge?”
I swallowed hard, my hands shaking. It was Brooks that stood up, Brooks who had lost someone that he loved with all of his heart. My brother stood and gripped my shoulder, keeping me steady.
This was why I moved here. To be with my family. Aurora was right, I had needed to tell them. To open up. Because how were they supposed to know I had been dying inside all along if I didn’t tell them?
“Heather died about six months before we moved here. She’s why I moved here.”
And as I went into the details, of the shooter, the car, the baby, I knew I should have told them long before this. But I was afraid that saying it aloud would make it real. Telling the people that I loved more than anything in the world would make it real.
And I hadn’t wanted it to be.
“Why the hell didn’t you tell us?” Wyatt asked, the anger in his tone brittle.
“I didn’t know how.”
“Because you thought we were weak? That we’d break? We could have been there for you.” Gabriel ran his hands over his face. “I mean, you guys moved here and I’ve been here as much as I could over the years, but it still wasn’t enough. How could we not know? You lost everything and we didn’t know.”
Brooks’s grip tightened on my shoulder, and I whistled out a breath through my teeth.
“You should have told us. You were there for me when I lost her. You should have told us.”
I swallowed hard but couldn’t look up and meet my brother’s gaze. There was no excuse for keeping this from them for as long as I had that they would believe.
“I know. I know. I just didn’t know how. And then so much time passed and I thought I was better but I realized I wasn’t. But you guys being here? It’s everything. And I know we’re all fucking hiding our own secrets. We’re all hiding our own pain and all that shit and I get it. But maybe we need to be like our cousins and actually open up. I can’t believe I’m the one that’s saying things like this.”
“Honestly, I’m also surprised you are the one saying that,” Wyatt said, the pain in his eyes mixing with something else I couldn’t quite read. “I’m sorry. I’m so damn sorry. I really would have liked to meet her. And your kid. Which sounds terrible now that I’m saying it out loud. So I have no idea what I’m supposed to be saying.” He looked over at Gabriel. “You’re the one that is the writer. What should we say?”
Gabriel just looked at us, his eyes wide. “I don’t have the words. Shit, Ridge. I’m sorry. And can I just say, if this isn’t weird, the fact that you seem to be opening up to Aurora, or maybe you being with Aurora in whatever way that you are means that you can open up to us? I mean, fucking fall in love with that woman. Just saying.”
Brooks burst out laughing and I grinned, grateful for that break in the tension.
“That wasn’t awkward as fucking hell,” Brooks said through tears of laughter.
I wiped my face, knowing that my tears had nothing to do with humor, and leaned back into the chair. “Aurora told me I needed to tell you. Because it wasn’t fair to any of us to keep secrets that big. But once you’ve kept them for so long, it is hard to break through that. So, I’m going to do better.”
“Meaning you’re going to tell us how you feel about Aurora?” Wyatt asked, and I knew he was deflecting, and I was grateful. But I wasn’t about to answer.
I threw an olive at him, and he caught it and tossed it in his mouth. I sighed, and then the subject was closed. I would bring up Heather again, and I knew they would, too. But we had finally talked about it. They knew. I wasn’t harboring this secret anymore. That had to count for something.
And maybe I did have Aurora to thank.
I wasn’t quite sure what that meant. Or if I wanted it to mean anything at all.
* * *
By the time we finished dinner, I had told them a few stories about Heather, ones that made them laugh, and I felt lighter because of it. I had hidden her from them, hidden from my own pain, and that was a disservice to Heather’s memory. I promised myself I would do better going forward. I just wasn’t sure what I should do next.
It was late, and when I texted Aurora I was home, I hoped she was already home. Not that I didn’t want to see her, just that I knew she’d had a long day. But I had heard the party still going strong on the other side of the property, so I figured she might still be on property. I hoped she would have texted me if she left earlier, but I knew she was likely still working hard.
Aurora:Good timing. I just finished up and was figuring out if I was going to head home or not. I’m exhausted, and Kendall said there’s a room for me if I wanted it.
I immediately texted back.
Me:Get over here. You are not sleeping in the inn.
Aurora:Bossy. But okay. I’ll be right there.
I smiled at that, wondering when everything had changed, or perhaps it hadn’t. Perhaps this was the same no promises.
It took her less than five minutes, and I was already opening the door when she walked up, her large bag in hand.
“It’s my overnight bag in case I need to stay over for a cake emergency. I promise I’m not making assumptions here.”
I gripped the back of her neck and brought her to me.
“Stop overthinking this.”
“But I’m very good at overthinking.”
I closed the door behind her and then my mouth was on hers.
“I see you tasted some of that pistachio cake,” I said with a laugh as I leaned back.
“Well, I did pack away some for you.” I realized that her other hand was holding a paper bag, so I took both bags and headed towards the kitchen.
“I’m going to put the cake in the fridge, so I don’t accidentally knock it off the counter when I kiss you.”
She blushed as I lowered my head, taking her lips with mine. When I finally pulled away, we were both panting, and she smiled up at me. “How was dinner with your brothers?”
I leaned forward, gripped her hips, and kissed her hard.
“Dinner was great. I told them everything, but I don’t want to get into it right now. I just need you. Is that all right? Just you and me for the night?”
She studied my face for a moment before a bright smile slid over her features.
“I think that sounds like the perfect way to end a very long day.” Then she went up on her tiptoes and kissed me back.
I tugged her hair, deepening the kiss. She moaned into me, and then I started slowly walking her backwards towards the bedroom. When I couldn’t take it any longer, I picked her up and carried her the rest of the way, needing her in there as quickly as possible. She wrapped her arms around my neck, kissing and nibbling along my jaw. I growled, then very nearly tossed her on the bed. I refrained at the last instant and set her on her feet. Before she could say anything, I kissed her again, pulling at the buttons on her shirt. She tugged on the bottom of mine, and then we were wrestling, falling to the bed as we stripped each other. Laughter burst from both of us, but there were few words, mostly just feelings.
“Ridge.”
“I’m here. I’ve got you.”
Soon we were both naked, my hands between her thighs, my middle finger over her clit as I spread her swollen folds. She was so wet and so hot already. It was only a matter of time, a few moments before she would come on my hand. Then, of course, her hand was on my cock, squeezing the base of the shaft before she slid it up and down, taking her time with me.
“I’ve got you. I’ve got you.” I slid one finger deep inside her and she came, shaking on my hand as she arched back. I moved over her, reaching for the condom. As she helped me with it, we slid our hands over each other. I lowered my head, taking one nipple into my mouth, then the other. Her breasts were large enough to overfill my hand, and I continued to play with her as I settled myself between her legs. I moved back, pressing her legs up so her knees were by her shoulders. She grinned as I sank deep inside. We both moaned, and then I was moving, forcing her to hold her legs open for me as I held her down, going harder, faster, needier.
When her body began to shake, I pulled out of her and flipped her over to her knees, sliding back into her as she leaned back onto my chest. She was so tight, so hot, that I could barely breathe, could barely think. All I wanted was to be with her. She came again, my one hand on her breast and the other down on her clit. I followed her, biting down on her shoulder so I wouldn’t scream her name. So I wouldn’t accidentally shout something that meant too much. Because I didn’t know what I wanted. What I could handle.
She was so sweet, so soft. She was just putting herself back together. I didn’t want to be the one to break her. And I wasn’t sure I could be the one to keep her safe.
Because as we fell into each other, I knew I could fall in love with her. And that would be a problem.
Especially when it might be too late.
I hadn’t kept the person that I loved before alive. Hadn’t kept her safe.
I wasn’t sure what would happen if I failed again.